Touch Starved – The Hunger We Lust For!

The pandemic created a very strange time for many of us and changed the way that we interact with people.  Not only that, many of us now lead much more reserved life’s and are experiencing skin hunger.  Yep, it’s a thing.  Skin hunger or being touch starved comes from the deprivation of physical contact.

With the pandemic and the regulations it’s any wonder that many of the world’s population is suffered through this.

What is Skin Hunger?

Skin hunger is not just intimate touch.  It’s any touch.  Any physical touch. Shaking hands, a pat on the back, a hug, a kiss on the cheek. Hell, being squished in Sydney trains during peak hour. It all contributes.

All of these contribute to the production of oxytocin which is the superfighting hormone Oxytocin.  Which if you really want to simplify it, is the arch nemesis to Cortisol, which in large quantities is the stress hormone.

You’re probably thinking right about now, that your cortisol levels have probably increased this last year.  You would probably be right.  Not only that, but the lack of touch has also been shown to contribute to the rise in cortisol.  In past studies in offices, research found that after shaking hands staff felt happier or more at peace than those who routinely did not engage in shaking hands.

Being Touch Starved Doesn’t mean You Just Want Sex

It might just be the need for physical contact. Any physical contact.

As Humans we are hardwired to seek touch. In fact our bodies, our senses are primarily made up of “touch”.  With our skin being our largest organ, making up a large portion of our senses.

So yes, while we are stuck at home, or not able to go around touching as many people as we did before, how do we combat our need for physical touch and closeness? I get it, it’s hard, and nothing is going to beat the real thing. I understand.

I am not suggesting that we say screw the system and go around touching. That would be ludicrous.

Self Touch Techniques 

Instead, what I have is several self touch techniques that are here to help promote your oxytocin levels.  This will stimulate your physical touch reserves and help with Touch Hunger. It is important to note that with these, it is very very very important to couple this with keeping in touch with friends and family, phone calls, texts, skype, video call to keep social.

We need to feed our social beasties as well for this to work long term.

You would be surprised how often we neglect our own bodies and forget to enjoy ourselves and be mindful of the way that we touch, feel and stimulate our own senses.

Some simple ways to promote self touch

  • Run a warm bath – Add bath salts or oil.
  • Wrap yourself in heavy blankets or pillows.  Pressure of these will stimulate the receptors that will trigger the oxytocin as a by-product of the vagus nerve.

Massage Techniques for Self touch

  • Using a rubber ball, place the ball beneath the arch of your foot either sitting or standing.  Applying pressure (how hard is up to you) roll the ball up and down your foot and breathe deeply, activating the vagus nerve.
  • Face One hand (B) palm up. Using the other hand (A), clasp around the forearm of your other arm (B)  and squeeze ever so gently. Now turn Arm B so that your palm faces the sky then the ground. Repeat for 5. You should feel a warm tightening sensation in your muscles. Try moving your Hand (A) further up or down your forearm of (B). Switch arms and repeat.
  • Placing one arm bent behind in a fist in the centre of your back, pull your elbow back to feel a stretch across your chest, shoulder and upper arm. Close your eyes and breathe. Using your other hand, rub up and down the bent arm, continue to rub, moving further and further along your shoulder and chest. Repeat this exercise on the other side.

More Massage Techniques

  • Sitting down, take both your hands and start near your ears and temples, place your thumbs under the lobes of your ears and your fingers from the top of your ears along your temple. Move your hands back and forth across your scalp with varied pressure.
  • Use oils and creams to lubricate your skin as you run your fingers along your body in long slow movements. This will activate your nervous system and help your body to connect. Not feeling it? That’s perfectly normal, as weird as it may seem. Closing your eyes, taking away your sight (one of your other senses) will help you to connect with your body and stimulate that oxytocin that your body needs.
  • Don’t believe me? Try it. Even if it is just a little, simply rubbing your hand feels different when you close your eyes.


Masturbating is a wonderful way to get closer to yourself, not to fill a hole, but rather to get in touch with yourself and your desires. Being mindful of masturbation can be very rewarding and fulfilling. Try a new position you have never tried before.

Use a toy you haven’t thought to use. Use edging and denial, bring yourself close to climax and stop. Tease yourself and see how many times you can make it to the edge. Can you make it to ten?

Try warming or cooling lubricant or arousal oils. And who said libido enhancers have to be used only with company?

BDSM – Solo

BDSM doesn’t need to be something that is sacrificed during a pandemic. It just means that we need to get creative. We have touched on denying yourself orgasms.

Wear a cock cage, enjoy that feeling of chastity, your hands exploring your body over the device. This feeling will also increase your oxytocin levels which will help your feeling of Touch Starvation.

touch starved with male chastity
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Have you tried wax play?

Now might be the time. It’s a wonderful sensation play perfect for solo adventurers. Start with massage candles and their low low burning temperatures before moving onto the sweet thick trails of the warm then hot wax.

Nipple clamps, clamps, cupping and suction have always had the ability to be lovingly used solo and leave loving little marks

Vampire mitts and paddles can also administer perfect little kisses for your attention.

Impact play can be self-inflicted at varying degrees as well for the solo masochist.

It is not the same, I am aware, it is not supposed to be the same.  We are not condoning nor suggesting this as an exercise as self harm, but merely as another form of self touch.  Think of it as a slightly more extreme massage such as a gentle whack with a paddle to the thigh.

Bondage is a little harder solo.

Cuffing yourself can be a little dangerous so we do not condone it safely. Rope play can be stimulating for the sense however, tying hip harnesses or futomomos provided that you have safety shears close at hand.

These ties will give you the pressure as well as the delight and sensory feel that may appease in symptoms of Touch Starvation. There are some wonderful online tutorials for simple self-ties to try like through Rory’s Brainworks or Studio Kink’s online courses.

Craving touch and closeness is not something new

Nor is it something that we should be ashamed of.

It is indeed a very human trait. That want for sex you may be craving may in fact be personal closeness and it is important to recognise this during this strange time where it may be harder to go out and meet new people.

Visit our Stores online or at Adultsmart Kogarah for other tips and sex toys to add to your self pleasure routine to better know your body and kickstart your system’s touch reserves.

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Tweeze Away With Spartacus Y-Style Tweezer Clamps

I don’t know why but I am always interested in nipple play in a very specific way. That’s why one of my first reviews for Adultsmart was about nipple clamps.

Here are some lines from that nipple clamps review for those who have not read it.

“…the second and more amusing part is removal of the clamps, the blood rushes back into the nipple and it makes the user feel another level of intense sensation…” (Goki wrote at 15.37 on 22.02.2016)

Here is another quote which is directly related to Tweezer Clamps.

“…pressure at the tip can be adjusted easily by the help of metal ring around the arms of the clamps and this makes the toy useful for new starters. Besides, most of these types of clamps have rubber tips which can be removed for cleaning and they are aesthetically pleasing to people’s eyes…”  (Goki wrote at 15.37 on 22.02.2016)

Anyway, I don’t want this blog post to be full of quotations, especially while I’m quoting from my own article!

Tweezer Clamps for Women

For women, Spartacus Y-Style Tweezer Clamps can be used with one clamp for each nipple while the third one is attached to your clitoris.

There is a small piece of metal that you can drag up and down to control how tight you would like the Spartacus Y-Style Tweezer Clamps.  This is a lot of fun to play with to find what your pain threshold it.  Or to find just how pleasurable you find the pressure on your erogenous zones.

Allow your lover control of the Spartacus Y-Style Tweezer Clamps to let him or her pull on the chain so that you feel intense sensations.  Its pulling sensation will feel quite different from the clamping sensation.  Especially if you love your nipples being played with.  It can be a quite gentle clamp if that is how much pressure you would like to apply or it can be a quite strong force.

Y-Style Nipple Clamps touch starved
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Tweezer Clamps for Men

For men using the Spartacus Y-Style Tweezer Clamps, you are free to clamp both of your nipples.  Then for the third clamp you can use it on your perineum. There are a lot of nerves in the perineum so the feeling can be quite intense.

If you like the Spartacus Y-Style Tweezer Clamps you can also try using the Spartacus Y-Style Adjustable Tweezer Clamps with a Cock Ring.  It’s Cock Ring will help to keep the blood flow within your penis to maintain a longer lasting and much stronger erection.

Likewise, give the control to your partner and reach the summit of the Himalayas.

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Using Tweezer Clamps as a Couple

As a couple there are lots of possibilities here for nipple and breast play as male/male, female/male, female/female etc.  Whatever your gender or sexual identity is, just ensure that one of the clamps must be attached to your body while your partner has the others.

For example, use 2 clamps on your partner’s nipples and let the third one be on your scrotum/perineum (it is up to you) during intercourse.  By this way, both of you will have great sensations with every thrust of you.  This would be a completely unique experience because as your lover moves, you can feel it on your own body.

There are lots of sexual zones and positions to use the clamps on.

I can think of a few in my mind but neither society nor my English is ready to describe them.  You can use the Spartacus Y-Style Tweezer Clamps to experiment with and find out all the points on your body you crave a little bit of painful pleasure.

At this point, it is essential that you adjust the openings of the clamps wisely or lubricant if applicable.  It should not be used in an excess amount so that your fun is not interrupted by slipping clamps.

I can’t help but sharing it.  Last but not least quotation.

“Especially for new starters, don’t use clamps more than 10 minutes. This is a general rule of thumb and can change person to person. Watch for signs of distress if the nipple begins to turn colour, remove it. Before removing the clamp take a deep breath and release the clamp slowly because the true pain comes at this point when blood rushes into the nipples again.

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