Stepping Into Stilettos And Into A Brand New, More Exciting Version Of Me!

Angel Hardly Biography

It all started over Seventeen years ago with my wanting to be a mermaid. Okay, maybe not a real one, but close enough. See, I as well as a few friends of mine applied for a job at a local seafood place as a mermaid character. Long story short; I didn’t get the job. And even all these years later, I couldn’t be happier about it.

 

As bummed as I was about not landing what I believed to be my “dream job”, I couldn’t sit back and pout about it. I was on my own, fresh outta high school, and had to take care of myself. I still needed a job. So I once again combed the classified section and there it was in big bold lettering: Attractive girls with good personalities wanted for lingerie bar. Cash daily. Must be 18+. Come by today for on the spot interviews and hiring.

 

Cash daily?! And all I had to do was strut around wearing lingerie and serving drinks? I had a good personality and my looks weren’t too shabby either so I figured I’d give it a go and see what happened.

 

I realized very quickly when I walked into the place it was not what I had imagined it to be. The ad may have said “lingerie bar”, but even with my younger naiveness, I knew it was a strip club.

 

It was earlier in the day so there weren’t that many people around. On the stage, a tall, slender, blonde woman in high-stilettos was climbing the pole in the center. She worked her way to the top and seductively removed her bikini top.

 

Immediately two things terrified me enough to tinker with the idea of hauling butt out of there as quickly as I could. Not only was there the very high possibility I might break my neck trying to wear those heels should I get hired, but I too would be on that same stage with my goodies exposed to the world.

 

Still, I decided to go through with the interview.

 

It went pretty much like an interview for a vanilla job would go. The only difference being I had to go into a private room and dance for the owner. Now, that part had me nervous. Even I knew my dance moves were an embarrassment, but the owner was a female, plus I had already come this far, so I figured why not?

 

I still remember wondering if the woman who would later become not only my boss but also my mentor and friend, could see how badly my body was shaking as I performed my best reenactment of the sexy stripteases I had seen in movies. If she did, she sure didn’t make it known.

 

To my surprise; I was hired. She handed me her business card with instructions to come back later that evening with outfits and the other stuff for my “performances.” Looking back on it now; I think she saw something in me and she thought it would surface once I got on the stage. I’m not sure. All I know is, I’m glad she gave me a chance.

 

I’ll spare you the long and boring details of what I wore and such. To be honest; I don’t remember. It was probably something cheap and thrown together being I was broke as could be at the time.

 

As expected; I was completely terrified while sitting in the dressing room awaiting the moment the DJ would call my stage name. When I heard my name, I made my way to the stage and took the very first step into the role that would become my identity for the duration of my career as an adult entertainment industry performer.

 

I was told the DJ would play three songs and a few seconds into the third, I was to remove my top. I was nervous but I told myself to pretend like there weren’t a bunch of pairs of eyeballs staring at me. I was alone, in my bedroom. Surprisingly it worked. A bit better than I anticipated.

 

What surprised me most was the almost instantaneous change that took place in myself. The minute I heard “holy (insert expletive here) she’s hot!” it was on! As cliche as it may sound; something inside of me awakened. I became an entirely different person. I was no longer the “good girl” everyone knew me as. I was Jenna; a sexy, adult entertainment performer. And I loved it!

 

I went through the first two songs, taking extra care to do a little more teasing towards the ones who were throwing their money onto the stage floor. Honestly; I had no clue what I was doing. I figured I’d do what any woman would do if she were trying to seduce a man.

 

When the third song came on, I slowly took off my top and revealed my boobs to the crowd. If there were a time where I would have “snapped back into reality” it was then, but it didn’t happen. I was unaware of my near nakedness. Instead; I was liberated. I felt free. I felt alive!

 

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t obsessed with being the good girl who played by the rules. I wasn’t worried about what others thought of me. I was no longer concerned with the humdrumness of the everyday world. In fact, to sum it up; I was the polar opposite of my vanilla self.

 

And it was those feelings and others that made me realize I was already hooked. I also learned quite a few things that I have used extensively to further my success in the adult industry; both as a performer and behind the scenes. Some of those are:

 

  • You don’t have to be “supermodel” gorgeous to attract a tribe of devoted fans.
  • Personality goes a long way.
  • Never judge a book by its cover.
  • Anyone can be a success if they’re willing to put in the work.
  • Standing out is a good thing.
Adult Actress Story
True Life Story

I also learned just how easy (not to mention, fun!) it is to have a man darn near worshipping the ground you walk on once you “push the right buttons”, but that’s a story I’ll share in a future post. 😉

 

Stay Tuned For Part Two In This Biopic Story!

 

About the author:  Angel Hardly

I usually refer to myself as a good girl who fell in love with the spicier side of life, but you can call me Angel. 🙂

My journey in the Adult Entertainment Industry began over 17 years ago, the same as most who got into the industry back then; as an exotic dancer. ie; stripper. I did that for a few years until I discovered the world of online adult entertainment.

Since hanging up my stilettos for good; I’ve had the pleasure of being able to delve into the many exciting avenues and aspects of the Adult Entertainment Industry. This includes; webcam modeling and studio owner, phone sex operator, sexting operator, online domination with a specialization in fetish and financial domination. Currently; I am a skilled creator of adult natured content and author of erotic short stories.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

Brandy In Taipei City!

Asian Sex

I’ve never been much of a traveler. Not at all actually. Even my first ever flight was when I was 16 –and it was too basically just visit a dead aunt in India. It wasn’t that I hated flying, -didn’t mind it much besides the odd screaming child on board-, it was the hassle of planning and executing an overseas trip that frankly irritated me. All that back and forth of exchanging currencies, writing out itineraries, having to xplore’ a whole new country just for the sake of gallivanting and boasting to your friends when you got back; nothing about travelling enticed me in the least.

“But it’s not going to be like last time!” Brandy had a knack for whining. She knew that it was one of her vices, but it got her the results she wanted when people had to give in and make her stop. We’ve been friends for a huge mother load of 6 whole years, from huddling with bowls of soup in freshman university till reaching the ripe age of 24 –still only being able to afford the same soup. She whimpered and flopped face first onto my back.

I glared at her. “According to you, the last time wasn’t supposed to be like the last time either,” I puffed, pushing her off me. Much like the undiscovered opera star she was, Brandy made a show of falling off the bed into a starfish position on my bedroom floor. No wonder my energy was non-existent. I had a best friend that could fill the quota for both our personalities.

“We looked too much into Adelaide. Where to go, what to eat,” Brandy pulled herself upright and clutched onto a pillow. “This time, we’ll do everything spontaneous. Just like you wanted right?”

Brandy made a compelling point. We travelled to Adelaide last Christmas when her parents decided to cancel on their plans to go skiing. I indulged her then only, partially because I felt really bad about leaving her to be alone in our room while I’m surrounded with mistletoe and turkey; and because the only thing worst than a hyped up Brandy was a sopping, sad and self-pitying version of her. Adelaide turned out disastrous on my end because little miss sunshine had chosen a whole holiday package that involved –doing things. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing if we just winged it?

Brandy could tell when the machines in my head were turning in her favor. She smiled hopefully, and I returned it slowly. “You have to promise me that we’re going to work things on our time,” I went on. “No funny lake tours and trips to human Holocaust museums, Brandy I swear to Go-,” I was immediately cut off from a yelp that escaped her mouth.

“I promise, I promise, I promise!” She clapped her hands rapidly together, like some water seal with Parkinson’s.

“Taiwan –here we come!”

Why was there so much of food?

That was my only thought as the Uber took Brandy and I to our Airbnb. The flight was bearable, but economy seats were all that’s available on short notice so it was a little bit of a struggle to get comfy.

I might’ve been thinking about food since I barely got anything to eat on the trip here but some sandwiches. Brandy was ranting about a kid kicking her seat, halfway stopping to snore in between her trashy romance novel. What was it about the both of us that made best friends? I’ll never know.

Our Airbnb was smack dab in the middle of Taipei City, and a little bit over a 10-minute drive to the Taipei 101 Center. The Uber dropped us off at the gates of a gorgeous double-storey villa, complete with large and embellished wooden gates, fish fountains and lush flowers to match in the garden. I had to give it to her. Brandy was a whole lot of things, but un-resourceful was not one of them.

She gave me a little grin as she pressed the doorbell. “Have enough energy left in ya for happy hour later?” I took snapped off my cap and smacked her in the face with it. She scoffed and tried to elbow me, but not before the doors opened.

A warm looking Chinese woman in about her 60’s greeted us. She wore a long sleeved blue blouse, cream silk pants and a megawatt smile on her face. “Hello! You must be here under the Brandy Tong reservation?”

Brandy grinned back at her. The woman extended her hand. “I’m WayLin, it’s very nice to meet the both of you! Let me show you around,” She said as she led the both of us in.

The villa was considerably much huger than it looked from the outside. WayLin rattled on about the historic features of the house, how many generations of her family lived here and other things that went right over my head. I realized just how much I wasn’t equipped for travelling in foreign lands as tiredness seeped through my bones and I yawned. I’m sure WayLin was amazing, but she was too much for my shutting down brain at the moment.

“I’m going to head upstairs to the room if you don’t mind,” I blurt out as Brandy scowled at me. “Flight was really long and I should get some rest. Brandy can stay and learn about the rest of the house!” I added and smiled sweetly.

Dorothy returned my grin, not harsh in any way. “Your room would be on the first floor, dear. Second is where my son and I are staying,” She gestured to the end of a long hallway. “You can shower and sleep there. The bathrooms are attached.”

I gave Waylin a firm but awkward handshake and stuck my tongue out at Brandy. Making my way down the hallway, I was enchanted by how warm and welcoming this Taiwan house really was. Most Airbnb’s that Brandy picked were gorgeous no doubt, but they always had odd paintings, clinically clean squeaky floors and weird lounge music that came from somewhere, giving it this hotel-feel. This place looked lived in, home-y; so instead of turning right into the room, I found myself making my way into the kitchen.

WayLin mentioned that we could help ourselves to whatever’s in the fridge –so I grabbed a mango rice pudding from the cooler and started to dig in. My grumbling stomach whined in appreciation, and it was so loud that I didn’t hear the voices at first. It was coming from the gazebo near the coy pool, carried by the strong winds. That’s when I realize it was just one. One voice. Sharp, angry, masculine. Tortured. The sliding door was ajar, but I didn’t want to test my luck going outside. I snuck a peek from behind an ancient wooden pillar in the far end of the kitchen, but couldn’t determine where it was coming from. Then bit by bit, it got louder.

A tall Asian man on a phone call, in his late twenties to early thirties stomped out of the gazebo. Do you ever get the weird feeling where you’re in the middle of falling asleep and being awake, when your entire body suddenly feels like its dropping into thin air? That’s exactly what it was like when I laid eyes on him. Dark brown hair tousled from his fingers, face flushed and his slim but muscular body tensed and poised from anger.

He turned around –and for a minute I felt my blood run cold.

Chinese Erotic Man
Sexy Taiwan Man

His eyes were piercing, hooded eyelids masking two rivers of secrets and stories that knocked the air right from my lungs. I hurled back around the pillar, my feet unable to move. It’s only when I craned my neck around it 3 minutes later was he gone, nothing to signify him ever being there.  His eyes haunted me – silver grey in an otherwise oriental appearance.

“Do you know how old May Lin’s son is?”

We had just come back from a night market, full of sounds, sights, smells and all the best of Taiwan. After the night market, we hailed a cab to Taipei 101 to head through the observatory deck to watch the night sky. Brandy was right, Taiwan was a great idea. Tiring –but a great idea.

Brandy turned from unpacking, facing me in confusion. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged. “Just thought I might ask.  He gave me the weirdest sensation.” My mind went back to our bizarre encounter at the gazebo and my body tingled again. Why was this man giving me so much of a reaction? It didn’t make any sense- oh wait. I groaned inwardly as I realized what it was. My boyfriend and I had broken up close to 3 years ago, and I have never really been with anyone since. I never found the need to. Guys at the club didn’t really do much to interest me; and I was never really attracted to someone well enough to have a one night stand with them.

But the fact remains; I haven’t had sex for 3 years.

Brandy noticed my slacked jaw. “Everything okay?” She sat next to me.

I laughed it off. Nervously. “Nothing’s wrong, I’m just a little tired that’s all.”

Brandy offered a small smile. “You’re excused this one time. I forced fed you fried grasshoppers on a stick, so you get to turn in early without me nagging. I’ll continue tomorrow,” she said and threw a pillow at me.

I threw it back to her and made my way to get a shower. I couldn’t help it, my mind drifted back to the mystery man in the gazebo. How tense he was when he fought on the phone, how his hands fingers clenched and unclenched. And those eyes. It sent a shiver through my body –that travelled all the way to between my legs. The water pressure was hot, heavy even and I moaned. My hands inched closer to my legs and I sucked in a deep breath. I was soaking wet. It wasn’t from the water.

A hand pounded the door. “What’s taking so long?!”

Honestly, if I didn’t love Brandy as much as I did –I would’ve have gone to far extents to commit murder and dump her body without evidence.  It was almost like the time she disturbed me when I was watching the top porn sites at sexreviews.

I tossed and turned all night. The heat of Taiwan was sweltering –and the  comforters in Dorothy’s house weren’t helping. Pushing off the covers, I made my way to the kitchen. The kitchen was so much cooler from the ajar sliding door; as the air wafted in from the-

Wait. Why was the sliding door open?

“Water filter’s down. Use the jug.”

I froze in my steps. The same voice from the afternoon now stood right behind me. I swallowed. “Thanks,” I said drily. I grabbed the jug from the cooler and slowly braced myself to turn around.

Yet again, the air was filled with electricity as our eyes met. He wore a slight smirk. “Have we met before?” The animosity from this afternoon seemed to have ebbed away. He inched closer and my breath hitched in my throat once again.

I moved back. “I don’t think so,” I said and chugged water to keep my throat from drying out. He smiled this time and whispered.

“How would you feel about a midnight snack?”

I don’t know exactly what it was that made me say yes.

Maybe it was the fact that I was lonely, tired and in a foreign city looking for someone to count on besides my snoring best friend. Or the fact that I was horny out of my mind.

We ended up getting fried ice cream from a local shop open late –settling down on a park bench. “My dad used to take me here all the time,” he started to reminisce. “Daan Forest Park, one of the largest in the city,” he continued and looked at me again.

Largest park in the city? Felt awfully small sitting next to this man. What was it about him? I never acted this way around anyone. “We don’t have many parks back home. Nature is so 2012,” I joked.

Wait… I joked? Since when do I do that?

He laughed. “What brings you here?”

“My best friend mostly. We come in a duo, but she’s much more of the spontaneous type. I tried my best to protest, promise,” I gave him a small smile.

His laugh faded and he stared at me once again with those piercing eyes. “Do you not find yourself exciting?”

My throat closed up. I didn’t know how to respond. I was never in a position to be fiery or spontaneous, I always left that up to Brandy. This man, this man brought out emotions in me that I don’t remember feeling.

He caught on to my hesitancy answering the question and spoke up. “Do you want to leave?”

I nodded and we made our way to the car in silence. He settled down in the driver’s seat and started up the ignition.

“Excitement isn’t dependable. It hurts when the party’s over.” I breathed out those words in a whisper.

It wasn’t too soft for him. His head turned to my direction and took me in. Really took me in. His eyes traveled from my legs, arms, chest and finally rested on my lips.

I’ve never seen a man so sexy. I’ve never seen a man so hungry.

He brought his lips down on mine, fast. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I kissed him back feverishly, as if my life depended on it. Biting, squeezing and tugging at his lips sent him into a craze. His fingers moved quick, unbuttoning my blouse and trailing kisses down my neck. He did everything so quick –but it wasn’t enough for me. I pulled his hands from kneading my tits and guided them between my legs.

He growled in response, practically ripping my shorts as he pulled them down. Everything about this man was insatiable, I realized as he smiled mischievously. He teased the moment out, pinching the inner of my thighs as he made his way to my pussy.

“Spread your legs,” he said –and boy if that voice couldn’t make me cum. His mouth still focused on my neck, he slipped two fingers inside me.

“Holy shi,” his eyes widened in surprise. “You’re dripping wet,” he went on and his voice strained as he struggled to keep his momentum. “You want this don’t you?”

I whimpered in need. Taking that as a yes, he increased his speed –faster and faster until I got close. Pulling myself back together, I willed myself back in the moment and stopped him.

“Not yet. Let me take care of you first,” I reached for the growing bulge in his pants.

He stopped me.  “Not yet. Let’s go into the regeneration container.”

Taiwan City
Regeneration DIY

In the park were a number of green shipping containers with wording in English and China ‘Regeneration DIY’.   What they were I had no idea, another strange thing in a strange can.  He led me to one and drew out a set of keys and opened the side double doorway and after we walked in closed it.  It was dark and I could just see his silhouette.

Everything was moving too fast, and I loved it. I pushed him down on a chair that was there and lunged at him once. Straddling him, I kissed him over and over again until the slickness between my legs got unbearable. I started to grind on him, bucking my legs against his hips –trying to get some sort of friction. He pulled on my hair and set me back so that he was on top of me. He maneuvered me till he was on top; and slowly but surely kissed up to my thighs.

Then his tongue teased my clit. I all but erupted in pleasure, as he lapped me up again and again –driving me insane. He held me down by the hips as he continued his pussy licking torture. Just when I was about to cum, he pulled back. I took that as a queue to reach for him once again, but he stopped me. “It’s about you tonight,” he winked.

He took off his jeans, throwing them to the floor. With that same hungry look that I couldn’t get enough off, he bent over to kiss me –and slowly slid into my wet heat. I groaned, biting into his shoulder to keep from screaming out. He pulled away and brought one hand over to choke me.

“Stop holding back. Let go.”

That was all the incentive I needed. I locked my legs around him and pulled him closer to me. He moaned, loudly this time and started to move faster. I screamed out in pleasure. All my life, all my relationships.

There was no man on earth who could fuck me like this.

I could tell he was close by how fast he kept getting. He fucked me mercilessly, as his hips got faster and faster and I felt my own orgasm building. With a cry of pleasure, I came hard. He followed suit, groaning into my shoulder.

After a few minutes of bliss, he rolled off. We looked at each other and laughed.

“So. How do you like Taiwan?”

The rest of the week went by in a blur.

Brandy and I made trips to the mall, parks (ehem) and even though she promised, Brandy dragged me to the National Palace museum in Taipei city. I didn’t care. I was so high from spending time with my stranger that I went through the entire week smiling from ear to ear.

Brandy noticed my demeanor when we were loading our stuff into the back of the Uber to head to the airport. “Why are you smiling so much?”

I rolled my eyes at her. “It was a good trip, what’s wrong with me being a little happy?” Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of brown hair in a window.

I never found out his name. Nor did I bother asking. He gave me something more than just good conversation. He gave me sex appeal. A new fire to see the world and explore.

Regardless, I really think I enjoy travelling now.  And this was not just another Taiwan erotic story!!!

Rick is the owner of the Adultsmart, an online sex toy shop that stocks over 13,000 products. He has been involved in the adult lifestyle industry for more than 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.

Sugar Daddy Dating in Singapore With ‘Secret Benefits’!

Asian Sugar Ladies
Singapore has grown into one of the most modern metropolitan cities on the globe offering endless options for cuisine, culture, pleasure, and entertainment. The women of Singapore are also some of the most stunning babes on the planet.  If you are seeking an alternative to escorts while in Singapore with a hottie that isn’t going to watch the clock or charge you by the hour, sugar dating may be just what you’re looking for. Often called the Tinder for older guysSecretBenefits.com provides a platform where young women seek out older men to pamper them and maybe help with a couple of bills. In exchange, these sugar babies provide their daddies with companionship and intimacy. You don’t need to be rich, you just have to be a gentleman that likes to treat a woman right.
You may already be familiar with sugar dating to a degree, but today, there are many facets that make up the diverse sugar world. In other words, this is not your daddy’s sugar dating.
Since online dating blasted off, it’s rapidly taken the place of traditional newspaper personals, dating agencies, or even a friend hooking you up with some chick they know. The web has allowed sugar daddy dating to go global and open up to all walks of life. For instance, younger men are choosing to live the sugar baby life, as much as powerful women are choosing to act as sugar mummies. The age gap that might come to mind is also closing in. Economic and societal trends are encouraging younger sugar daddies as well as older sugar babies, respectively in their 30’s and 40’s, to look towards sugar dating for a less inhibited and modern relationship experience.
As expected, there are agreements of all sorts and varying degrees, but the general consensus is one acts as the benefactor (the sugar daddy), and the other person acts as a dependent (the sugar baby). It could be a date for the night, a casual relationship where you might see each other when possible, or even a live-in relationship. It could be agreed upon as an ultra discreet experience or even a wide open, glitzy, cameras in your face, arm candy type of relationship. The possibilities are endless.
Let’s also get the elephant out of the room. Intimacy and sex are up not necessarily involved, and it should not be assumed.  Sometimes, there is no physical intimacy involved at all when sugar dating. Again, anything is possible.
So how do you coast into Singapore and find yourself a sugar baby in the big city? Here are the top tips for landing yourself that sugar baby you always wanted, but never knew exactly how to get:
Be a Gentleman
It’s no wonder why this would be an important trait to have. It seems like it would be a given, but a lot of guys get lost sometimes along the way, and they need that reminder. In other words, do what your mamma told you. Not only will you get further when you are aware and respectful of the woman you are interested in, but you will have a better experience all around. This naturally makes a woman feel comfortable and more likely to join you the next time you come calling.
Be Honest About What You Want
It’s generally understood among those dating in the sugar world that honesty with your desires is the best policy. This is especially true with what you are looking for in a companion. What you want with your sugar baby should not be a mystery. This will help attract the kind of woman you really want as well as allow for a much more carefree and enjoyable time while you are together.
Be Open to What They Want
As you can imagine, there are countless reasons why women look to sugar daddy dating. Because of that, pay attention to what your potential sugar baby is looking for. It could be anything which includes, but is not limited to, financial support, all expense paid dates, mentorship, intimacy, travel, industry connections, nice gifts, a one-time date, or a long-term relationship. Just remember, fulfilling desires and needs is an upfront and 2-way street when it comes to sugar dating.
Be Aware of Your Surroundings
The more you understand the way people live, think, and love in Singapore will go a long way. The Lion City definitely has a diverse, multi-ethnic society, and showing off a little knowledge of local customs and cuisine will impress. Perhaps even some Malay or Mandarin under your belt won’t hurt either. If you know your way around the city and know a couple of hot spots, even better. It’s a simple gesture to show you care and are in tune with your surroundings; this will in turn signal to your young companion that you may be in tune with all departments of life and love.
Asian Sex Stories
Erotic Stories
Relax and Enjoy Yourself
Sugar dating gives you the opportunity to skip the regular relationship hurdles and get right to having the time of your life. This is your chance to be yourself and enjoy every moment with your new sugar baby at your side. Please, just don’t forget to loosen up and smile. You deserve it.  Take full advantage of what life in Singapore has to offer with your sugar baby. After all, we only live once!
Final Step: Find a Reputable and Active Sugar Dating Site
Making this all happen is best achieved using a solid sugar daddy dating site that provides an easy and active user experience. Most prefer to use sugar dating sites with a free and easy sign-up, no monthly charges, respect for discretion, and a responsive customer support team. It’s always recommended to do your due diligence and explore your options. A recommended sugar daddy dating website to get started with is Secret Benefits. They provide an excellent platform to check out the sugar dating scene and make your next trip to Singapore a memorable one!

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

What kind of SEXUAL DEVIANT have I become?

IQ Test For Bondage

It’s been about 6 months since I took the kink personality test on www.bdsmtest.org and I was curious to see if anything had changed with my results, since there is so much else in my life that has.

 

I think I’ve mentioned in a previous post or two, how surprised I was at the accuracy of the test results in the past. I wasn’t disappointed this time around either. There were a few surprising differences in some of the categories. You’ll have to keep reading to find out what they were.

 

So, for those who haven’t read of my previous posts, there have been some major shake-ups happening in my life since I joined the Oh! Zone family back in February this year. The main one being the making of a tiny human from scratch which virtually halted my deeper exploration of the BDSM lifestyle, since a considerable amount of the things that I would like to try but are not safe during pregnancy.

 

I’m not sure if it’s my change in lifestyle from wild experimentalist to mummy to be, or if it’s the broadening of my sexual knowledge through reflection on scenes that I have played with various partners, blog submissions from my colleagues, researching topics for my own posts or from picking the brains of customers who are already immersed in the lifestyle, that has the greatest influence on the change in my results.

 

If you’re not familiar with the personality test on BDSM.org, you can choose to gain insight in one of three ways: submissive questions only, dominant questions only or the full test (which I recommend taking if you’re a first-timer) which contains both submissive & dominant related questions. The results will then give you a percentage based on your answers to the questions. I have seen everything from 99% vanilla to 100% submissive to 100% sadist.

 

The results summary will give you a percentage on the following: Submissive, Rope Bunny, Experimentalist, Degradee, Masochist, Slave, Non-monogamist,Boy/Girl, Pet, Primal (Prey), Exhibitionist, Ageplayer, Voyeur, Daddy/Mommy, Brat, Vanilla, Primal (Hunter), Brat Tamer,Rigger, Dominant, Degrader, Owner, Mistress/Master, Sadist & Switch.

 

Here are my 5 biggest changes between February when I did my first test and August when I took the test again.

 

  1. Pet +30%

Definition according to bdsmtest.org: “Is the property of their owner in daily life. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. The role often features some form of animal play (puppy, kitten, etc.), although that is not a strict necessity.”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: I’ve come to see this more as another form of being a  ‘kept woman’. In the beginning of my journey, everything was about not forming emotional attachments and just trying everything with no strings attached. But the further from my last relationship that I get, the more that I crave being ‘owned’ by someone emotionally.

 

  1. Vanilla -26%

Definition according to bdsmtest.org: “Vanilla people enjoy regular, standard sex and relationship models. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re having fun!”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: In all honesty, this is the result that surprised me the most. I thought, if anything, since I have halted kink play while I’m growing my tiny human that I would have continued to have the same stance on vanilla sex. Apparently I have a new-found distaste instead. Maybe it has something to do with the conversations that I have with customers in the course of my work day and picking their brains about things in kink that I had no idea existed before starting with Oh! Zone.

 

Playing With Age
Age Role Player
  1. Ageplayer -20%

Definition according to bdsmtest.org: “Ageplayers lie to play with age as part of their kink. They typically take on a much younger or older age than they actually are, or prefer playing with a partner that does so. Attributes and behaviour changes (such as pacifiers, coloring books, speaking in childlike language, etc.) are paired with this, to enrich the context and make it more appropriate for the played age.”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: I think that as I get closer to becoming a parent, my tolerance for childish behaviour in myself and other adults has lessened and by proxy, so has the appeal of ageplay… Although I still love colouring books, Disney musicals & cartoons.

 

  1. Slave -19%

Definition according to bdsmtest.org: “Slaves completely hand over the control and responsibilities over their life to their Master/Mistress . They go a step further than submissives in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life (except for negotiated exceptions such as their office jobs). Serving their Master/Mistress is their primary focus in life and they rarely have limits for them.”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: Ok, so I think that most of my changes have been due to my impending motherhood. I am finding that I am more anal-retentive and needing to be a little more in control of myself these days so that I can remain a relatively put-together adult for my son.

 

  1. Primal (Prey) +15%

Definition according to bdsmtest: “Primals ae mainly focused on their natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. They key part for primals play is that the participants show their raw, emotional sexual feelings during play. All of the labels, roles, and protocols go out the window, and the prey (you) can become a snarling, growling, clawing animal hell-bent on getting away from its predator.”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: Maybe I’m just a little more feral than before…

 

Seems to me that kink preferences are developed over time and are influenced by life and its experiences. So, even if you take the test just for fun now, it’s always good to retake it every so often. You might find that the results surprise you.

 

Happy testing xxx

Morgan

 

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

Holy Shit! I Can Finally Breathe….

Bad Relationships

Yesterday my partner and I were having one of those iconic serious talks about our relationship and the future of it, while we were driving in the car he turned and said to me;

“I’m your first normal boyfriend aren’t I” (it wasn’t a question he was asking it was a statement)

I responded with “yea I guess you are”

which his response was “i know because sometimes you act funny”

I sat in the car thinking, when I think I go quiet and he then asked me if I was OK.

Truth is I wasn’t sure if I was OK, I wasn’t sure what exactly to think, or how to feel, I knew in that moment though and many moments before that he had noticed me and he had noticed my feelings.

 

I guess you could say that was a new experience for me, so later that night, and again this morning I started thinking some more, and I have come to the conclusion that I do not know how to act or feel in a good relationship.

 

There are often times I have over thought the situation, over analysed a comment, a text message, the exact wording, every fine detail. The first thing I learnt entering into my relationship now is that the thing that made me realise just how toxic my previous situations were was unlearning all my previous “habits” for coping.

 

Apologising is my worst habit, which doesn’t seem all that bad, but I apologise for everything,especially if I feel like my partner may not like something I will take blame and apologise, to ensure nothing escalates.  I use to blame myself for a lot of things especially things I knew would trigger my previous partners, now I find myself have to unteach all the triggers and stop being sorry for them.

 

Over compensation is also a huge habit I have, toxic past situations taught me that the love I deserve, I will never get in full. It taught me that love was based on rules and only good behaviour would be rewarded with affection, toxic situations taught me that I would never be good enough and that I had to keep trying.

 

Looking back on past situations now I see that it was very hard to love someone who was basically unlovable and intolerable to love, but somehow I found the good in them, and I didn’t give up. The transition between a toxic situation becoming single and learning  to love myself and now actually being loved has been a huge eye opener. My new relationship may not be what I am use to but it is exactly what I deserve.

 

In the past my best was not good enough, so I tried harder to prove my love, and finally when I am completely comfortable in this relationship when all my walls and down I know I will love this person with everything I have inside of me and it will be good enough.

 

I forced myself to come into this relationship with clear eyes and mind, I chose to love like I give a shit wholeheartedly, even though it was terribly difficult at first, even if I thought everyone had motives, and that everyone lies and hides things. I had to force myself to stop making assumptions about certain situations and then explain to my partner how I came to this wild conclusion, not because I don’t trust him, but because my past situations have taught me every loop hole that causes pain.

 

How can things really be this good? How can he actually have a conversation with another girl without hurting me.

 

Someone who actually respects me, this has to be too good to be true.

 

Pain was normal and it no longer hurt the same as it did at the start, my threshold for pain and my tolerance became impermeable to the point where the things that break up most relationships didn’t seem so bad to me. People often comment  how weak someone is or has to be to stay in a toxic relationship, but for me its quite the opposite. It takes someone very strong to go through what they have and still be able to find the good and not giving up even if that person doesn’t deserve your loyalty and love. It takes  an even stronger person to be able to walk away, and even stronger then that to love again and accept love.

 

Then finally there it is, finally you learn what love really is, its a holy shit I can breathe moment. You don’t wince of flinch when they lift their hand to affectionately place it on your leg. His affection no longer surprises you anymore, and you finally feel this beautiful feeling, a feeling of calm, and you breathe. You are fully aware no anxiety not stress no pain just breathing in that moment.

 

Its OK if your not sure how to navigate a good relationship, its OK if you don’t trust at the start or if your not sure if you should listen to your gut about situations, its OK to be vulnerable and learn because this person will not cause you harm. At the start its hard to navigate how many compliments is too many, or whats a good compliment to give, or even how much you have to pull to not seem crazy or over the top, and you defiantly do not have to think about how much is enough or not enough to give.

 

Because its at that moment the good relationship will happen its at that moment that they will fall in love with you, the vulnerable you, the you that because this way because of everything you have gone through and the you that will now be taught that love isnt manipulation.

 

I am continuously amazed at this guy, and I spend a lot of time staring at him in awe, this is what good feels like.

Trust and Love
Loving Relationship

when you build her back up and love her the way she deserves, a change happens and in return, you get a love so pure, so genuine, and so unconditional. She will heal you in ways you didn’t even know you needed just as you did her”

 

morgan x

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.