Exposing The Extreme Big Beautiful Women Fetish

Katy Perry photoshopped to be plus size

“You’re actually really pretty… You know some guys actually like a bigger girl”

The well-meaning but rude customer commented out of context while I finalised the sale. I smiled and nodded in that way you do when you really want to chew someone out, but can’t because you’re at work. If I weren’t at work what I would have said was:

“Listen, I don’t need you to comment, reassure or say a damn thing about how I look. Firstly, I’m fine with how I look and I don’t need or want the bullshit “sympathy” you’re offering and secondly my weight and this transaction have nothing to do with each other, my weight is not relevant to you, my job or much in my life.”

However being a plus sized woman means my weight and discussions around it are always relevant. It is always a focus that people feel they can comment on, joke about or offer “helpful suggestions” – Yes, I have heard that exercising can help people lose weight, you don’t need to tell me.

I have always been bigger (whatever that word actually means). At my smallest I was still considered on the larger side of normal, so I haven’t ever really known any different. But as I have gotten older I have found that I have much less patience for people wanting to bring up my weight. When I was younger, every comment, mean look or anything I interpreted as being about my weight would hurt me for days. I starved myself, trying every diet possible, I worked out every day, played sport 3 times a week and ate like a mouse. At school I would skip lunches because I didn’t want anyone to see me eat. And all that work, didn’t change much, I stayed a similar size (never being able to leave the 14-16 range). I could never lose enough weight and when I did it was in the wrong spot. I was literally and figuratively stuck on a treadmill, miserable, for other people’s opinions. I did this for years! I would listen to people’s advice, pretend to be in on the jokes and ignore the comments, all the while not standing up for myself, feeling like dirt and letting people treat me as less than because of the way I looked.

There wasn’t a moment or interaction that changed my perspective. Learning to stop all that toxic self-loathing stuff takes time and I still have a long way to go and a lot more to learn about accepting myself, but I’m trying. A few things help me; My husband who loves me no matter what, my family and friends who are just happy to see me no matter what size jeans I’m wearing, my brain which I decided early on would be my real asset and not my body and finally the amazingly strong women I know or know of, who inspire me every day to live my best life without apologies. Knowing I have this in my life gives me the strength every day to starting owning and accepting my body.

Then I learned I was a fetish…

The Big Beautiful Women (BBW) fetish is defined by people who enjoy watching and having sex with plus size women.  Now If I am being honest I was aware that there are men who like bigger women, I have been in a relationship for 10 years, I listen to hip hop, I knew chubby girls were getting laid and what threw me was the fetish title given to it.

I think the word fetish carries different meanings depending on who you are talking to but I believe it can be generally considered as things (sexual acts, preferences, clothing etc.) that sit outside the norm of “regular” sex as white mainstream culture defines it. No matter the kink, a fetish is generally thought of as alternative and niche. Before I continue I need to state, I have no issue with fetishes, whatever form it may take. Even celebrities have their own secret fetishes. I indulge in some myself, the issue I take with BBW being considered a fetish is that I cannot opt in or out of. I didn’t consent to participating in this fetish, simply by living in the body I do, I am in a small way a part of it whether I want to be or not. I imagine this isn’t only a problem for me and women like me but other people who don’t fit into society’s definition of normal (for example, people who are Trans). It is as if because we don’t fit within the very narrow definition of who can be seen to be having sex within our culture (only young attractive people, normally white and normally heterosexual) any sexuality displayed by someone who isn’t them is considered a fetish or outside the mainstream in one way or another.

Another big hang-up I have with the BBW being considered a fetish is that it seems to be the “sex worlds” (for lack of a better term) way of labelling someone as “fat”. I read the fetish title placed on BBW as de-normalising a fuller figured body thus reasserting that the standard porn star body as the normal body. I believe this extends out of the “sex world” also. The average Australian woman looks a lot more like a BBW actress than a standard sized actress and when they come to porn or even into a store and see themselves only represented within a fetish category while the rest of the store is populated with standard size porn actresses the message that is being sent is, that you belong over here and nowhere else or just, sex isn’t for you.

Plus size models on magazines
Image: Plus Size Models

This is also a disadvantage to men. Many men will often feel disappointed when the woman in front of them doesn’t look (and act like) a porn star. People are missing opportunities for real and fulfilling sexual experiences with real people because they don’t live up to the fantasy and unreal expectations set by porn. The podcast “The Butterfly Effect” is an interesting listen if you would like more information about the way the changing nature of porn is both effecting and affecting people.

This leads me to wonder if my whole issue with the fetish label placed on BBW is that it seems to be trying to make real bodies a fetish and fake bodies the norm. Maybe what my real problem is that I miss reality in sex. And I don’t think I’m alone, the tide is changing. Amateur porn with real people and bodies is becoming incredibly popular, stores like Oh! Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres stocking inclusive products (lingerie in plus sizes, plus size toys etc.) are all part of the change. Ultimately there is recognition in representation and recognition that more than just porn star bodies have sex is only good for everyone. I am not saying we need to stop watching porn or pretending that beautiful people aren’t fun to look at we just need to treat them for what they really are, a fading fantasy that has no bearing on the real world. Maybe if we stop presenting such a narrow view of what sex can look like and be, we can all start having a lot more fun!

Author: Jamie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

VIP Interview With Simon Aisbitt Owner Of Tlclatex (TlcDesigns)

Purple Suit By Tlclatex

Tlclatex (TlcDesigns) a designer latex clothing company is taking the world by storm, with an incredible and well deserving surge of popularity through social networks. Countless fetish, Instagram and fashion models are showing off their beautiful pieces for the world to admire. It couldn’t be helped but to talk to the man himself who has a cult like following in the sexual lifestyle and fetish community, Simon Aisbitt the founder and owner of Tlclatex.

Simon had explored the latex market and had found that mainstream clothing designers were not able to provide high levels of customer service needed for custom designs. His motivation catapulted him to learn anything and everything about latex and to find the best way the material can be tailored for people’s needs, interests and desires.

Simon began receiving clothing requests from friends, so he decided to create his own company Tlclatex where people could work with him to design their own one of a kind custom orders and he could also sell his own designs. With support and a growing customer base, Simon has now been creating designer clothing for well over 19 years now. Tlclatex is known for their incredible attention to the finest of details of their kink and fetish gear. They are also motivated to find the latest and greatest innovations in their industry. This is a VIP Interview with Simon Aisbitt the owner of Tlclatex.

Tell me about yourself

My name is Simon Aisbitt. I live in Scotland although originally I was born near London.

I own and run Tlclatex also known as TlcDesigns. I’ve been making latex clothing since around 1999 mostly for friends but after much pushing and encouragement I decided to start selling to the public. I’m only a very small one man operation just now but hope to expand as time goes on.

How did you become passionate about working with Latex?

I first started wearing latex many years ago. I love its feeling against your skin and just how soft it was… very sensual and tactile. I also love colours and I loved the diversity of colours you could buy it in… Although back then it was mostly black you could buy.

Anime cosplay with latex dress
Image: #YuiIzmori

What inspired you to create TlcDesigns?

That’s a good question. Long story really… But simplified… I got fed up buying products from many ‘Big Names’ because they took so long to make your item. They often sent it either badly made or not how you’d asked for it. Their customer service was appalling too. If you challenged them on it after waiting months… They honestly talked to you as if they were doing you a favour… No apologies… All very frustrating.

I thought to myself:

“I am good at making things… Why can’t I do this myself?”

So I set about learning as much as I could. I started trying to make really difficult things like hoods but I figured if I get that right the rest should be easy… how little did I know!

Of course you then come up against people not wanting to help you learn. And I suppose I understand that to a degree as it’s like an exclusive club, they don’t want new people to join. So you could say I learned the hard way. I’m self-taught, I don’t have a degree in fashion design but perhaps that’s not a bad thing because I approach things from a different angle and being honest it’s something you never stop learning about.

What inspires you?

That’s a hard question to answer but I remember seeing a quote by Henry Ford:

‘If you think you can… or you think you can’t.. you’re right!’

I suppose if anything I inspire myself to a degree, because I’m quite self-motivated. However if I had to pick several people in the latex world who have been a big influence LatexJim from LatexWorkshops is perhaps top of the list because he is someone who wants to help people. Also Rebecca from Yummygummylatex for her creativity. Of course you have to admire pioneers of the fetish scene like Tim Woodward, and David from TG to mention a few.

Full Body Suit By Tlclatex
Photo: Latex Purple Body Suit

Where and how are your products made?

I make my products from my studio at home. Everything is handmade including the applique which surprises many. I haven’t invested in a laser cutter yet but it’s something I am certainly looking at for the near future. I cut all the patterns myself. I’m a perfectionist really. I guess you could call it a blessing or a curse.

What quality of material do you use?

I quite selective about what I use.. I order most of my latex from Radical Rubber..4D Rubber and YummyGummyLatex. I have looked at others but despite making contact with some of them, they don’t seem very keen to get orders from smaller makers. I really hope that changes.

What do you love most about working with latex?

I love being able to transform someone into something special. I get a big kick out of seeing people wearing something I made. Wearing it myself now isn’t important.. people liking what I make is a great compliment.

What inspires your designs?

That’s a hard one. I get ideas pop into my head. I’ve always been quite creative and loving colours the way I do.. I think sometimes I’m perhaps open to trying colour combinations might shy away from. I get a picture in my head of what I want to make. Thankfully others seem to like it too.. hehe

What are your best sellers?

Best sellers are my dresses which most contact me directly about. However I hope to have an online shop up and running very soon.

Sexy Clothing By Tlclatex
Buy Now | Designer Clothing, Costumes And Lingerie

Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

Autoblow 2+ Valentine’s Day Draw With Brian Sloan

Mens masturbator with realistic red lips

Brian Sloan the creator of Autoblow 2+ the world’s first robotic blow job machine is running a Valentine’s Day Draw in collaboration with Adultsmart! Would you like to win this for yourself or do you have a lover, boyfriend or husband who would absolutely love an amazing gift this Valentine’s Day to add to their men’s sex toy collection? Enter the Valentine’s Day Draw and your wishes may just come true! Pun intended.

Today we are offering you the newest version of the Autoblow, the Autoblow 2+ which is currently valued at $194.99! The Autoblow 2+ that we are giving away comes with a size b sleeve which is the most popular size to purchase!

About the Autoblow 2+

Let me tell you what you need to know about the Autoblow 2+. The Autoblow 2+ is available to purchase in three different girth sizes including:

  • Size A: It measures 3” to 4” (7.5 centimetres to 10 centimetres) in girth.
  • Size B: It measures 4” to 5.5” (10 centimetres to 14 centimetres) in girth.
  • Size C: It measures 5.5” to 6.5” (10 centimetres to 14 centimetres) in girth.

All the sleeve sizes can be used by all different penis lengths!

World’s best selling robotic blow job machine
Image: Brian Sloan With Autoblow 2+

New Features Of The Autoblow 2+

The Autoblow 2+ has amazing new features that include:

  • 3 x the level of grip: Autoblow 2+ is made with 3 rolls of beads that are used to tighten and massage.
  • 33% tighter: Autoblow 2+ will give you a truly pleasurable experience that feels ultra-realistic.
  • Plugs directly into a power supply: This powerful beauty, needs some incredible power. Plug it directly into a power supply and find out just how incredibly the experience is. In the long run you will be saving money since you won’t be buying any batteries. There is also less waste for the environment.
  • Strong motor: It uses an industrial strength motor!
  • Strokes 33% more: Sit back and relax, this men’s masturbator can be used without the hard work. Hold the Autoblow 2+ in place and let this sex toy do all the work for you. Don’t give into the temptation! It strokes 33% more when compared with its predecessors.
  • Speed control: You can control how fast you want the up and down motion to go.
  • Interchangeable sleeve: The sleeve can easily be removed to wash and dry. The sleeves are reusable and you can interchange them! The interchangeable sleeves are sold separately so you can build up your collection or change them depending on how tight you would like them to feel.

To find out more information about the Autoblow 2+ be sure to read our sex toy review that explains in detail the features, what to expect and what we love most about the device. In the review, the experience is explained as:

“The Autoblow 2+ kept me cumming with those rollers, wave after wave and to be quite honest it probably would rate as one of the best head job experiences of my life.”

World’s first robotic blow job machine
Image: Brian Sloan Holding Autoblow 2+

Buy Autoblow 2+ Now At Adultsmart

If you don’t have any time to waste and want to try one right now? Or if you would like to give someone the gift of orgasms you can purchase an Autoblow 2+! They are currently being sold on Adultsmart’s sex toy shop! There is limited stock, buy one before they run out!!

Men's sex toy shop

How To Enter The Competition

To enter the competition post a comment below letting us know what you love most about the product!

Who Can Enter The Competition

Everyone, this competition accepts entrants from all over the world!

How The Winner Will Be Choosen

The winner will be drawn on the 14th of February 2018. The creator, Brian Sloan, will choose the winning comment himself.

Future Autoblow 2+ Giveaway

Keep an eye out for future posts, we have a second Autoblow 2+ to giveaway! This will run soon after the Valentine’s Day draw has been completed!

Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

The Machine That Sucks!

A robot that gives blow jobs

I mean this quite literally.  Having received the Autoblow 2+ for review it was quite exciting to give it a bit of a test run.  Having heard about this much publicized crowd funded sex toy for men that has been touted as the world’s first robotic blow job machine.

And publicized it has been.  Featured in that much media it is scary.  Indeigogo, Men’s Health, Buzz Feed, Playboy, VICE, Yahoo, Business Insider, Bravo and any and every YouTube channel out there.  Crowd source funded and the idea of lawyer Brian Sloan who, using the Jetsons robot Rosie as inspiration, wanted to create a robotic male sex toy that would offer realistic sexual sensations.

There have been many positive reviews written for the Autoblow 2 but the new version, the 2+ internals are 33% tighter than its predecessor and has an over 30% increased stroking range.  The 2+ motor has also been upgraded to be more powerful and is made with an all metal industrial strength motor.  It is claimed to be more powerful.

So knowing that it is designed by a man is great solace as surely another male knows what it is that is desired in the stroking department.  And what is better for a male to know that at any time of the day or night he can access a machine that is going to suck the fuck out of his member and give him a realistic blow job experience?  Once fitted to the penis it is supposed give 100% hands-free enjoyment with cyber-skin like sleeves to slip in.

Men's automatic masturbator
Image: Autoblow 2+

There are three sleeve sizes and the Autoblow 2+ comes with size B which is for a penis size of 4-5.5” of girth.  The stroker and sleeves are designed to accommodate all penis size lengths.  It is powered directly to a power point, it does not use batteries and the industrial strength motor is rated to perform for over 500 hours of use.  That is a hell of a lot of head-jobs.

The box it came in was very nice and sturdy, it literally had all the information that would be required to operate it.  So I opened the box and checked out the sex toy – it was robust – I then attached the power cord to the machine, plugged it into the power point and switched it on.  WOW!  This thing was loud.  If anyone was in the next room – even in the house they would think that a power tool was being used.  This is a sex toy that you could not fit in a sneaky one during the night as you will have people pounding on your walls asking you to turn it down.

Diagram of a mechanical masturbator
Image: Autoblow 2+ Diagram

What The World’s First Robotic Blow Job Machine Feels Like

So bearing in mind the LOUDNESS it had me guessing how this thing must feel as surely it would be powerful along with being ear deafening.  I lubed the machine up (and me), I got myself into a state of excitement and inserted my dick.  The feeling was awesome, it was tight, it stroked, I kept an erection but I couldn’t cum because of how loud this thing was.  I kept thinking someone is going to come home and I am going to be caught with my dick in a robots mouth.  I gave up after a while and made a mental note to try it again when I was sure that no-one was going to come home and catch me with my dick in the honey jar.

The opportunity came about a fortnight later that everyone in the household was out for the entire evening so I had quite a few hours where I did not have to worry about noise or unforeseen surprises.  I warmed up with a couple of glasses of wine and had a bit of a surf on Chaturbate, RedTube and Livejasmine getting pretty steamed up.  It was time to give the Autoblow 2+ a go.

Men's masturbator that gives headjobs
Buy Now | Men’s Masturbators And Strokers

Lubed it up, turned it on and this time did not have a care in the world that the windows were rattling because of the decibels being emitted.  Guys, it truly felt awesome and gave a sucking sensation as well as being stroked.  Unlike a regular head job I could shove my cock fully into it without being told it was too deep or feeling a gag reflex.  It does not compare with hand masturbation and I lasted maybe 12 minutes before my cock began ejaculating like crazy.

The Autoblow 2+ kept me cumming with those rollers wave after wave and to be quite honest it probably would rate as one of the best head job experiences of my life.  Cleaning up the mess afterwards was a breeze as I simply removed the sleeve that is very pliable, washed up with some soapy warm water and then rinsed it off leaving it to towel dry.

All in all the experience was more than pleasurable and if you live alone it is the perfect men’s sex toy for you.  However if you do not, the times that you can use it will be limited.  So I give it a 5 out of 5 for experience but for me it is not a sex toy that I can enjoy often so will dampen that rating somewhat.

Andrew is right into the Fet Lifestyle and enjoys BDSM. He has written about these subjects in many arena’s and is an expert at Shibari. He shares his knowledge by working with Adultsmart a sex toy store. Enjoy the descriptive and educational articles he has written.

Is The Fetishisation Of Race, Racist?

Race fetish kissing

Recently, I sat down to watch the critically acclaimed horror film, Get Out. Now whilst I thought that it was a pretty decent film, I wasn’t quite sure as to whether the film was as great of a psychological thriller as the critics claimed it to be. I was ultimately left feeling a little confused and wondering if this was it, I felt like I had missed an integral part of the film at some stage. Well, in a way, it turns out that I had. Upon speaking about the film afterwards with friends, it quickly became apparent that I had been looking at the film with white privileged eyes, and that, despite my education, studies and my understanding of race, racism and gender, that I was never going to be in a position where I would intimately be able to understand the racial undertones, and social commentary, of the film.

Horror movie Get Out
Image: Get Out

The film, in many ways, can be seen as a discussion of race and racism. It highlights the perception of the subservient stereotype of African Americans. Such a discussion is relevant, as it comes at a time where the Black Lives Matter campaign is still on everyone’s lips, and the social and political divide across America is fraught with difficulties and challenges.

Campaign to raise awareness for police who kill black people
Image: Black Lives Matter

The film left me thinking about our interaction with race and racism which ultimately led to thinking about how these topics impact sex. A comment was made in the discussion of the film, bringing forth a whole new layer and depth which had me reconsidering the idea of sex and racism. We already have an understanding, through previous articles that I have written, about the prevalence and overtness of racism through dating apps such as Grindr, Tinder and Scruff etc, however I have to note that such discussions have always centred around the idea of what people are not interested in. Such discussions rarely focus on backhanded racism or the valuing of attributes which are stereotypically assigned to race. This, ultimately leads to the question:

Is the fetishisation of race, and the preferential views towards individuals of a specific race, considered to be racist?

It needs to be argued, that for whatever reason, we do have sexual preferences – and these preferences shouldn’t necessarily be ignored. For the same reason we prefer Pepsi over Coke, and vice versa, we as individuals cannot escape the idea of choice and preferences. However, the discussion that we need to consider is, especially when it comes to dating, is the exclusionary practices that we employ when it comes to ‘preferences’ simply a form racism?

Sexy man who is black
Image: Sexy Man

When looking at this idea – let’s first discuss African American men and the idea of the big black cock (BBC). A person with these traits is known as a Mandingo. Through the proliferation of porn there is a prevailing idea among many communities that African American Men possess larger than average cocks. The thing that is slightly different with the fetishisation of African American men – is that there are several ideas running concurrently.

African American history, the Cuckold and power play

There are many arguments that link this back to colonial periods of a young America where African American men were made to be subservient due to their physical traits – the rapid expansion of the Early America’s meant that there were large amount of labouring work to be done from farming, to building, and the continuation of the American Empire. Slaves, for the most part, combated expensive labourers and they were considered to be stronger, more active, possess greater strength, yet did not possess a greater intelligence, thus making them perfect servants and hard labourers. This ultimately gave birth to the taboo nature of interracial couplings whereby they were seen as both inferior (Intellect) and superior (Physicality) to white men. Cuckolding, a popular heterosexual practice which sees one partner willingly sleeping with other men, often involves interracial ‘third wheels’ due to the idea that they have the ability to reinforce the inferiority of the cuckolded male. In this regard, the taboo nature of interracial couplings actually work towards the fetishisation of interracial sex and relationships.

This results in interesting dynamics of a constant power play. Colonial thinking makes the idea to be penetrated by what was once considered to be an inferior male, who has the possession of a larger cock, to be hot. The taboo nature of the act, combined with the idea that an individual can simultaneously be inferior and superior, is arousing. To be fucked in such a way, is the dream of many a white male who dares to imagine the idea of being split in half by a massive black dildo like phallus – where the white male wants to be conquered. The power play is the interesting dynamic here, because to bottom is to be seen as passive, with the top assuming the active role. Simultaneously, there are many white men that wish to switch this dynamic through the topping of an African American male – to conquer and dominate as a toy. In this regard, and with specific concern to the phallus’s and orifices in these examples, does the fetishisation extend to the individual, or is it reductive in the idea that such a fetish exists solely around the genitals?

Defining a person’s qualities based upon their cock size

For the big black cock – it can certainly be seen as reductive. You are reducing the sexuality, and presence, of an individual to the size of the phallus. In an article published FS: The Gay Health and Life Magazine – Peter, an individual interviewed for the study, was continually asked variants of the question ‘how hung are you?’, long before a potential date was asking questions about him and his personality. In this regard, Peter was continually being reduced to nothing more than his phallus – a tool of pleasure as opposed to an individual with thoughts and feelings. On the flip side, it could be argued that a white male looking to dominate, and ultimately pin down, a male of colour – is reinforcing an ingrained idea of white dominance.

So is it racist?

When you are reducing an individual to the size of their cock, based on a stereotype – then you are absolutely reinforcing racism, regardless of whether or not it is considered to be ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ racism, where people assume that positive comments based on race, are not racist. By this token – actively seeking an individual of race might not be considered to be racist. Actively seeking a specific race on the basis that they possess a quality or attribute which you find arousing – is reductive and ultimately racist.

From this discussion we acknowledge the idea of preferences, we also acknowledge the idea of reduction. So is it racist? It’s a difficult question to answer – in some regards when you’re reducing an individual with thoughts and feelings, to the size and colour of their cock, in the quest for a quick fuck – then yes, it’s certainly racist. But if you have a preference for a certain race, but don’t actively exclude the possibility of others – then it becomes blurry. Where the justification of the preferences become the identifier for the racism – in saying that though, anyone that’s been on Grindr or a dating app knows that there’s just about a justification for everything.

Author: Stephen Smith – BA Of Social Sciences, M.Ed

Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

1 2 3 4 11