Every Body Is Beautiful: My Journey To Self-Love

This article feels quite edgy to write. I’ve toyed with it for some time but have felt fear around coming across as superficial as it’s speaking into the change in my physical appearance. I’ve avoided it for some time because if there’s one thing that triggers me it’s those before and after photos showing body transformations after committing to some “amazing diet”- as if one photo could possibly summarise the person you have become! With that in mind, I know deep inside me that I have a lot of gold to share from my experience hence why I am putting this out in the open.

My weight loss comes up in conversation from time to time, especially from people who met me when I was at my heaviest. “What did you do?” is the most common question I get asked and I think with this people expect me to rattle off a list of diets/cleanses/detoxes that led to my 15kg weight loss. Though there were numerous factors and influences that led to my weight change, my simple answer is that I just stopped caring about what the scales read and began caring about the things in life that truly mattered.

The truth is, food was never the issue. I could have committed to the best diet in the world (is there such a thing?) and I still wouldn’t have shifted the heaviness I carried on my body – believe me I tried!! That’s because weight was my protection, weight kept me safe from the world. My body highlighted my inability to feel my feelings. It was a reflection of the hatred that I showered myself with every day, the unworthiness I believed I deserved to live with.

The excess weight I held on my body was also my saviour in a way. I had hurt myself for so long in so many ways and my drastic weight gain was the final shift that got my attention to this fact. Our bodies are wise beyond measure and sure know how to get our attention to the things we’re not acknowledging. My body was speaking very loudly telling me that some big things needed to change in my life, in particular the things in my life related to my relationships, love, sexuality and spirituality. It took me some time but I eventually listened.

What happened prior to losing weight took a great deal of courage on my behalf.

  • I spent time learning about boundaries, learning how to communicate my yes and my no. For a young woman that was a passive people pleaser, the fact that I had found agency over my own body was a revelation. Having clear, healthy boundaries creates a foundation of safety and stability in your body. With this, that protective weight is no longer needed.
  • I explored the hidden and neglected areas of myself that were hiding behind my weight. My weight disguised some scary parts of myself that I didn’t want to see. Like a courageous warrior, I decided to finally face those parts of myself that I didn’t like. It was scary and painful but I am so grateful I looked.
  • I found my sexiness and my sensuality. As it turns out, they had nothing to do with how I looked and everything to do with how I felt. There is so much truth in “sexy at any size.” Sexiness is not how you look, it’s how you feel about yourself. The sexiest women I know are embodied, self-loving and incredibly sensual with no agenda to be something for anybody else. They are all of this for themselves and that exudes out of them in such a beautiful way.
  • I learnt how to be in my body, how to feel again, how to express my emotions. My weight came about from all those times I had numbed out and disassociated from my body so there was a great deal to feel. I learnt how to healthily express my feelings without needing to binge eat to avoid them.
  • I found a deep and profound love for myself that wasn’t built on conditions or a need to look a certain way. The need to love yourself is thrown around way too often but I think it’s for a very good reason. The true self-love I found for myself was appreciating every single part of who I was – the good, the bad and the ugly – because it makes me who I am and that is divine. Bursting with this love for myself, I was then finally able to let other people love me for who I was.

After this life changing inner transformation (which is constantly ongoing), the weight dropped off effortlessly in no time. No restrictions or diet, no stepping on scales and torturing myself with exercise I hated. Just a whole heap of self-love, self-respect and coming to believe my worthiness to live a beautiful, pleasurable life full of joy and connection.

I see so many people who struggle with their weight, believing it to be the one thing in their life that causes all their suffering. I wish I could wake these people up to the fact that their body is speaking to them and they need to learn its language before any shifts will occur. Sure, you can deprive and starve yourself to the point of weight loss but believe me when I say that final result is not what you’re really seeking. Having a slim body does not “fix” your life. It doesn’t help you to avoid uncomfortable feelings or pain – that shit is universal and cannot be avoided! Your weight does not determine how loveable you are or how worthy you are as a human being. There are many reasons why people lose weight like a bad break-up but keep some of the reasons that I listed above in mind next time you are planning on going on a diet for weight-loss.

Quote on body size acceptance
Image: Body size acceptance

Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist

Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Flip From Zero To Hero With Tenga

Orgasming with Tenga masturbators

So, I must admit when I was told I was going to receive the new Tenga Black Flip Zero (0) I thought to myself “how an earth am I going to do this?” I don’t have a penis and this is a masturbator for guys! I was sort of freaking out trying to work how I was going to write this review on something that I cannot use on myself and without it sounding like a high school essay where I inform you about all the material components that will inevitably bore you to death.

Tenga masturbator
Image: Tenga Flip Zero Black Edition

And don’t worry I can hear your thoughts already and I completely get it, reading a review from a girl about a men’s adult toy is hard because well I don’t have a penis so obviously one would assume I’m spinning wild and amazing loads of bullsh*t in order to tell you how amazing this product is for guys.

Truth is I love Tenga as a brand and I love selling this brand, I will tell every male customer that walks into this shop that they need one in their life! I have three favourite brands in this shop and it’s not because of how popular they are or how they feel it’s because of how much effort, thought and consideration they put into their products!

Unlike its counter partners Tenga uses stimulation that has been researched thoroughly, usually when I am comparing brands to customers I explain that the others are basically made to look like a vagina on the outside with some bumps in a long hole on the inside. More effort and thought are put into how realistic the outside is rather than the feeling and stimulation of the inside, which is the part that matters.

Tenga stroker
Image: Tenga Flip Zero Black Edition Case

Upon opening this product, I have to admit I got penis envy, the black just makes this toy ooze sex appeal. The matte black is so sophisticated and alluring, and the fact it has the semi translucent components means you really get a good visual of the action going on inside. First thing I did was stick my fingers in it… yes it only heightens my penis envy as I couldn’t experience the entire length of the device. So as any mature person of my age would do, I squeezed down on the pressure pads causing the internal vacuum technology to create an interesting sound which one could only describe as penis envy pleasure. The vacuum pressure inside would be incredible, and as a bonus feature the way that this is designed is with minimal leakage of lube due to its seamless insertion.

Tenga masturbator features
Image: Tenga Flip Zero Pressure Pads

After I had my fun with that I began to read the instructions now all I can say is god damn! They really went all out with this design, and men think women get all the fun toys pfft. The internals of this device blow my mind. Each and every nook and cranny is designed to heighten pleasure and the ultimate over all experience.

Check out the internal structures of the Tenga Flip Zero Black Edition!

Tenga masturbator texture
Image: Tenga Flip Zero Black Edition Internal Structure

What’s inside the Tenga Flip Zero Black Edition package?

Now for some information to bore you for a bit, don’t worry I’ll be quick! In order for me to give you the full experience of this review I need to explain what Tenga does differently and what comes in this tight and neatly packed package. So what do you get in this delightfully delish package (no pun intended) and what are the features of the Tenga Flip Zero Black Edition.

Tenga stroker features
Buy Now | Tenga sex toys and masturbators

Tenga boasts this device is bursting with stronger sensation and I can see why! They have used firmer materials in the Black Edition compared to the Flip Zero White, they have described the internals as being a new structure that provides stronger stimulation and bolder details, which also means the stronger materials provide maximum squeeze and suction within the device. For a comparison, be sure to read our Tenga Flip Zero product review. Also, as with the original Flip Zero the seamless insertion point is the reason why the suction is so strong, and it also reduces lubricant leakage. The stand out feature of the Tenga Flip Zero and Flip Hole ranges are the flip style design which makes washing and drying a breeze, and a very cool feature I noticed when opening up the Tenga Flip Zero Black was that the base was magnetic, so it doesn’t just balance it has a firm attachment while drying out!

What materials are used in the Flip Zero

  • Case and Slide Cap: PC
  • Internal sleeve: Thermoplastic elastomer (TPE)
  • Pressure pad and transport anchor ring: Silicone
  • User manual holder: GPPS

How should I wash the Flip Zero?

  1. Remove the Slide Arms and flip the item open.
  2. Wash under running lukewarm water.
  3. Place on the Slide Arms to air dry.
  4. Once completely dry, close and replace Slide Arms for storage.

 Warnings

  • Wash with cold or tepid water.
  • Use only neutral or mild soap. Soaps high in acid or alkaline content may damage product material.
  • Do NOT wash with alcohol or other cleaners.
  • Please ensure the product is completely clean and dry before storing to help avoid mould and other build-up.

What is the different between the Flip Zero and the Black Edition?

Firmer materials inside and new internal details are the biggest stand out and difference between the two models. The Flip Zero Black is designed to provide stronger suction and more intense stimulation.

So, weather you’re a guy looking for a new masturbation device that is more personalised and has more stimulation, or you’re a partner wanting to buy a new present to spice up your love life look no further! Because contrary to popular belief it’s incredibly fun to add this kind of device into your usual sex routine, guys deserve wild amounts of stimulation and pleasure as well and guess what? If it used regularly it will also increase stamina and there are no complaints with that advantage!

The NEW Tenga Flip Zero Black Edition will definitely not disappoint! This is definitely my most favourite male masturbation device to sell and recommend to customers and it’s not hard to see why!

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

Sounding: Pushing A Rod Up Your Urethra!

Sex was once, to me, a superstition. It was something I found out about from schoolyard friends who’d never done it or from folks who knew little about it and clarified it in a mindfully calm manner. It was something I saw in scenes from terrible films, and it was there in the counter-intuitive syrup of sitcom shows and in music clips of almost every pop tune that I loved. If I put all of this together, it leaves me with the uncanny impression of how sex ought to be, before I ever thought I knew enough to encounter it. When I at long last started having my own sexual encounters my expectations of what sex should be left me feeling like I was missing something even while there was nothing particularly disappointing about any specific experience.

For some time, I started to think about whether something about my penis kept me from giving me the pleasure that I thought I deserved. I thought it might be holding me back from climbing the delightful stepping stool to sexual fulfilment. At whatever point a lover moved her head in joy or snatched a fistful of bed sheet while arching her pelvis upward, I asked why my own arousal never made me do any of that. Sex motivated my suspicion that there were shockingly better types of it that I would need to go outside of myself to find. Which is the reason why I came to be sitting in my room one night, sliding a long metal tube into my penis.

That’s when I started to masturbate with urethral sounds

Urethral sounds look like a moderately strong and threatening individual from the sex toy family. For the most part urethral sounds are made with a long and slim metal chamber intended to slide into the urethra to dilate the urethra in a pleasurable way. Sizes range from 4 to 17 millimetres in circumference, however there is a large variety of sizes. The urethral sounds arrive in an assortment of shapes, some have a gentle S-formed bend, while others have huge barrel shaped dumbbells on their tips. Some are made with different experience levels in mind, others are made with rectangular closures, some have round edges, and of the most threatening looking ones have serious fishhook bends.

Urethral sex toy
Image: Euro Zone Penis Plug

It’s difficult to follow the definite causes of why people began to use urethral sounds, however the act of urethral sounding has been seen throughout history in numerous societies. As indicated by Robert Lawrence, a psychologist and board member from the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco, there is proof that doctors in old China utilized a tube which they inserted into the urethra to sample fluid for examination and therapy. In antiquated Rome, catheters, tubes, and tests were utilized to investigate the bladder and expel blockages from different channels and openings. In the most recent century, on the other hand, the act of sounding for pleasure appears to have gotten to be progressively common, with cases of men having used almost everything from pens to weaving needles which are all unsafe methods for sexual stimulation.

The tissue in the urethra is embryologically the same as the labia minora, and it’s loaded with nerve endings all the way down. Simply moving a smooth, decently lubricated urethral sound along these tissues can be pleasurable, there are more profound ways to stimulate through sounding. The urethra has four sections that unite the bladder to the penis, the final one runs through the prostate which is an organ that is integral to the ejaculatory experience amid climax for men. Sudden dilation through the urethra of the prostate can trigger discharge and is very pleasurable.

When compared to most other sex toys, urethral sounds have a high level of daredevilry attached to them and shouldn’t be used without genuine consideration and readiness. The size of the urethral sound makes them best used only by the most experienced urethral sex toy users. The urethra is sensitive and if you are inexperienced and use urethral sounds it can lead to painful tearing and cutting. The urethra is thin and delicate especially against bacteria and disease from outside microorganisms, which is the danger of inserting unhygienic items into it.

Cleaning the sound before every use is very important. This can be done by boiling a surgical stainless steel urethral sound in water for 30 minutes. Be sure to let the urethral sound completely cool down before use.

Before using urethral sounds, it is also very important that you thoroughly wash your hands and the penis. Make a point not to touch anything that hasn’t been washed before insertion. Many people recommend drinking a glass of cranberry juice just before you start, which serves to protect you against unhealthy bacteria developing in the urinary tract. Additionally, antibacterial surgical lubricant must be used with urethral sounds which can act as one final layer of insurance against bacteria being brought into the urethra. After use, the sound must be completely washed to prevent rust and the person who uses the urethral sound should urinate to flush out the urethra. I read a detailed urethral sounding guide before my very first experience.

What other people thought of urethral sounding

When I looked into using urethral sounds, the vast majority of my male friends drew back with dismay, either overpowered by the thought of painfully hurting the penis or the thought of receiving a chlamydia-test by inserting a Q-tip into the urethra and sending it to a lab to be tested. The lack of accessible data about urethral sounding appeared to heighten the confusion. One review of more than 2000 men found that approximately 10 percent who performed urethral sounding likewise reported higher STI rates. Another study, from the University of South Florida collected the data collected of patients going by the doctor’s office after they had placed items in their urethra including a ballpoint pen and a speaker wires. This study noted that all the patients had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. These articles have been found to be biased, which makes it look like using the urethra for stimulation to be out of this world. Another study asked “why would you do that?” and one of the replies was “It felt great” but this answer couldn’t in any way, shape or form defend the drawbacks.

Stainless steel urethral sex toy
Image: Uretheral Dominator Grooving Sound Ribbed

In my neighbourhood in Manhattan, there are various sex-toy shops and peep show venues. Thick dark window ornaments hung over the front entryways with a threatening “NO MINORS” sign making the scene feel like a universe of danger, where going in to any shop may guarantee some type of risk. These shops appear to be one stage away from liquidation with cramped walkways and police sirens heard in the distance.

As I began shopping, I perceived that each urethral sound in sight was alarmingly huge. Indeed the littlest one I could see was marginally bigger than a pencil, it looked like something that would be difficult to get into my urethra without some genuine dilation. I inquired as to whether they had any littler ones that may be more receptive for a beginner. He let me know that I could by a range of urethral sounds in a set which work their way up from beginners to more experienced users. He showed me all the different types of urethral sounds. With the urethral sounds he showed me, he said that it would be best to start not with the thinnest one but with one that was similar in size to the opening of my urethra. A thin urethral sound in unexperienced hands can evidently slide and slip around, making them less secure which can lead to potential tears or punctures. The thicker ones stays in place but can prevent them from masturbating too rapidly. I picked the littlest one among those sparkling torpedoes and brought it home with some surgical lube in one of those slim, dark plastic sacks that just ever appear to come from an alcohol store or the sex shop.

What really happened when I began using urethral sounds

Utilizing the urethral sound reminded me of the first time I stroked off. I wasn’t certain what I was doing then either, however I took some time and got used of it. Soon a confounding warmth went through my body. I had controlled my body into doing something it shouldn’t have been made to do. The translucent glob of cum saturated my rug was an indication that something new had been broken inside me, in the same way a pool of fluid underneath a car in the parking space is an indication of something beginning to go into disrepair.

I placed the urethral sound in a bubbling pot of hot water to disinfect. I thought about how my right hand would hold the pole and touch nothing else, while my left hand would do the work: get some lubricant, lift the cover off the bubbling pot of water, open and close my door, turn on some porn. It took near to an hour to set up the whole experience.

Urethral sound
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When I at long last shut my room door and grasped the sound, an excess of clear lube coagulated around its narrowest half, I considered the way that I was presently going to be fucked by a manufactured item. The vast majority of the sex toys I’ve known were fetishized impressions of another human body part in some conceptual way. Dildos and Fleshlights were direct copies of genitalia, while vibrators evoked in some way what someone else may do to you. At the same time I was all alone with the urethral sound when I felt the metal spread open my penis. There was no anticipation; I was pleasing myself with a bit of metal.

I chose it would be simplest to begin on the off chance with an erection. The pole went in delicately and easily, the whole five centimetres was effectively inside my small opening (which had resembled a vast, eyeless mouth as I gazed down on it). There was no pain, nor was there any huge joy. The main feeling I was aware of was the unbendable hardness of the metal pole, and a thick, moderate moving wetness some place inside me. I slid it up and down. Everything happened gradually. It was like the inverse of sex, with its impacting surfaces and musical spells. I had never been touched so profoundly, and I started to feel something like a blazing sensation inside, a typical reaction that happens during a first encounter. It was an inaccessible feeling, it was a new sensation from a piece of my body that had no memory of being touched.

I went in as deep as I could, around three inches. When I moved it is far as, I hauled it out and afterward inserted it back in, squeezing somewhat more profoundly around it with my hand. I shook it in and out, tenderly and gently as I was worried I’ll break something inside. I hauled it out once more, placed it on the towel, and stroked off to the porn film. In the long run, I came.

I spent the accompanying days in an industrious fixation as to what happened to me with the urethral sound. It brought me a great happiness. Anyway something had been inside me and whatever I could feel now was the new inadequacy that it had cleared out. I needed to be touched again, however every time the idea came up, it was joined by the dissuasive memory of the amount of time and consideration must be spent on making the arrangements.

It was the farthest thing from a climax or, rather, it was the modified picture of it. Once I discovered it, I wanted to discover it once more, again and again. Possibly next time there’ll really be someone else there too.

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

Kate’s Urethral Play Story – PART ONE!

Urethra Foreplay

Hey all, my name is Kate! Sex with my long term partner Mark has been really great. Considering that we have been married for a couple of years now. We sometimes get into a routine and things can get some what boring. This does not imply that our sex life is boring as the two of us made sure of that! We make love, explore different options and test boundaries with each other. We have attempted pretty much every sex position and tried every opening that is conceivable.

Sex toys like vibrators and dildos have been a part of our love making regime for quite some time now.  It has probably been around two years when Mark first introduced a lady called “Ty” to me.  I think he probably saw a few photos on the web of her too.  She is certainly not the most attractive porn star out there. He showed me a photo of her. She is what is known as a gaping queen and inserted objects into her urethra or as Mark likes to say her ‘pee gap’. He was so excited about the whole concept. I recollect him saying that he wished his little finger would fit into my urethra a number of times after watching her on screen.

 

Catheter with urine bag
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After several weeks he surprised me by bringing home two catheters which I had never seen before and did not know much about.  He told me he had bought them online, they were foley catheters in two sizes.  One was relatively small and the other a bit thicker – they were in sterile packaging.  When I went to unwrap them Mark told me not to touch them until we were ready to use them as this would help to avoid the catheters getting any dirt or bacteria on them.

I am a woman who has never experienced urethral play before so I was excited yet a little scared when the night came and I saw Mark put on some sterile white latex gloves to try out one of the foley catheters. He asked me to spread my legs wide with my knees bent similar to the position when women are placed in stirrups at the gynecologist’s surgery.  He stood between my legs and carefully unwrapped the smaller of the two catheters.  With a simple, ‘here we go’ he began to test my pee gap with the tip of the catheter and within moments had inserted it an inch or so up inside me.

Feeling it slide inside me caused me no stress or pain however my clit became harder and a wonderful pins and needles feeling began inside my pee gap. It was enjoyable so I asked him to place it further inside me.  As he did, I had the incredible urge to pee. Not being able to control myself I relieved myself all over the bed. Luckily, Mark had the foresight to place a towel underneath me. I looked up at his smiling face and I could see that when he watched me urinate it greatly pleased and aroused him.

Foley catheter erotic story
Image: Kate’s Urethral Erotica Story

The catheter was now about 3 inches inside me and the urination stopped so he gently began to push it further in. He filled a little plastic syringe with sterile water that connected to the catheter and began to squeeze the liquid through the tube. I could feel a little bag expanding just past the entrance of my bladder.  It was a weird but in no way an uncomfortable experience. Mark said “It’s in now.  Get up, have a walk around.”

I got up and walked around the bedroom with the catheter hanging out of my you know what. I was fascinated by the bizarre feeling. We kept it in for about an hour whilst Mark vigilantly brought me glasses of water to drink until eventually I felt the incredible urge to pee but could not.  Mark mischievously opened a small valve and we watched as the bag quickly filled with my urine. The relief I felt was overwhelming.

Knowing that Mark now had the power over whether I would urinate or not made me extremely horny and I began playing with my clit. In just a few strokes I orgasmed. I could see that Mark also played with his bulge through the front of his pants. This was our first foray into catheter play and I have to say I was already a fan.  There was no pain and I hate pain. Needless to say we had a big sex session afterwards and both my holes were well accommodated by his hard and thick cock.

About a week had passed when Mark asked if I would like to try catheter play again.  Of course I was interested and even more so when I saw that he had brought the thicker one into the bedroom. This time I noticed that he also had a large bottle of lubricant with him. I was more turned on than the previous week as I knew what was about to happen and felt much more comfortable.  I assumed the position wondering if this would go in as easily as the first one. Mark quickly unwrapped the catheter, generously put lube all over the tip and began to very slowly worm the catheter into my urethral opening.  My urethra dilated to allow access to the catheter and I climaxed before it was even an inch inside me, I gushed all over Mark’s face and hands.

This was so weird, he had not even touched my clit but I had an earth shattering explosion of an orgasm. When I orgasmed, I yelled out how much I loved my husband. After I had finished orgasming I could not hold back and eagerly grabbed Mark’s cock and put it in my mouth. I grabbed his buttocks and forced him to thrust his hard cock in my mouth, I did my best to encourage him to throat fuck me.  I deep-throated him and in minutes he shot his load down my eager throat. Now we both had cum.

I asked Mark to test how far he could stretch and go up my urethra with this thick catheter. Now, I have to be honest, part of this was for me but I also wanted Mark to realize his fantasy of sticking his finger in my urethra just like in the amazing adult video we watched of Ty the porn star.  I thought to myself what a feeling that would be as I knew how much of a turn on this would be for him.

Over the next few weeks we trialled a whole heap of different things in my urethera (always making sure they were sterile) like a toothbrush handle, a pen and even a texta. Each item had a different feeling which all ultimately lead to sexual satisfaction for the both of us. He would insert one of the items and take it out with a smooth and gentle thrusting motion. On many occasions for reasons that are unknown to me I would orgasm through the urethra. It would set off a blended orgasm and my sphincter would go into spasms of delight.

It was such a turn on that I began to experiment when Mark was not home with some solo play. It was not long before I managed to graduate to some pinky play where I would finger fuck my urethra.  The only drawback with my pinkie finger fucking was that it was not long enough so I began to experiment with my other fingers slowly graduating to thicker and longer fingers until I could fully insert my index finger all the way up to the knuckle. It took a few of these sessions till I finally came clean with Mark to let him know what I had done. At first I thought he may be a little angry with my solo sexual escapades but he surprised me by being all the more enthused and asked if he could watch. This has opened my eyes up to the world of urethral sounding for women!

CONTINUED TO PART TWO ………

Anna has been writing original erotic works for quite some time and specializes in Asian fantasies. When you have a few minutes and want to relax by reading some FREE original hard core adult stories you are welcome at the adultsmart blog.

Phthalates: What You REALLY Need To Know!

Toxic chemicals and infertility

Phthalates are used all over the world. Phthalate esters are toxic chemicals added to make products more malleable. Research has shown that they can actually be harmful to the human body since they can give off toxins that can react to skin and hormones in the body. This has a proven negative effect on fertility.

Toxic materials
Image: Chemicals known to disrupt brain developm

It is in just about everything that is manufactured from sex toys to cosmetics, engine oils to disposable gloves. Interesting enough it is against the law to sell children’s toys that contain phthalates. The reason being children may put them in their mouth. Well, I don’t know about everybody, however, I do know sex toys can go in the mouth as well as in other orifices we have.

So why not ban toxic materials in sex toys?

Unfortunately, there is little research available on the effects of phthalates in sex toys. The sex toy industry is not highly regulated. You see on the back of most packaging, sex toys are often labelled as:

“Sold as a novelty item”.

Meaning it is a gag gift. This is a huge loop hole that needs to be closed. I believe this is because of the shame associated with the product. To a certain extent we still hide our sex toys and our sexual preferences. Thus resulting in a catch 22 situation.  Because of our “shame” and “embarrassment” some sex toy makers take advantage of this and continue to use materials that are potentially dangerous. Granted we have come a long way however we still have a long way to go. Consumers must be protected when it comes to our sexual health. Embarrassment or false taboos should not stop consumers getting the information they need and quality checks being done on sex toys.  It is not illegal to sell toys made with phthalates.

Manufacturers have become aware over the years that we don’t want it any more. The popularity of these sex toys has been decreasing. However to be safe stay away from jelly like, vinyl or PVC toys. If you do have toys made with phthalates place a condom over the toy. To wash simply use toy cleaner or mild soap and water. Only use water based lubes on these products.

Body safe sex toy materials

Now, let me talk to you about sex toy materials that are considered to be body safe.

Silicone

Adult products made from silicone are considered to be latex free and phthalate-free sex toys . They are odourless and have no taste. Many silicone toys are waterproof, despite having batteries or rechargeable insides. This means you can take them into the shower knowing they are safe. The only drawback is you can not use them with silicone based lubes.

Silicone is considered to be one of the safest materials on the market. It is non porous, this means it will not collect dirt or bacteria inside the material. Silicone is used in medical instruments all over the world.

One drawback is that silicone toys can attract dust and hairs very easily, I recommend keeping your toys in a plastic bag or a toy case. Personally, I buy 100% cotton pillow cases to store mine in. 1 pillow case for 1 toy. It works.

If your toy is 100% silicone you can actually boil it on the stove or wash it in your dishwasher to keep it crystal clean. If your toy is not 100% silicone please use sex toy cleaner or soap and water in the shower.

Silicone should feel smooth have no smell or taste. If your toy is 100% silicone, it is 100% skin safe. I buy silicone for peace of mind and the luxury feel.

Glass

I find glass to be one of the cleanest toys around. Most glass sex toys are made out of borosilicate glass.  Basically, like nannas Pyrex baking dishes. When purchasing glass look for a toy with no joins. Glass should be poured in 1 piece. This helps the toy from breaking when dropped.  Glass is smooth and hardy. It can be used in temperature play.  To warm put it in hot water, to cool put it in ice. Please don’t overheat or freeze as this may cause injury to the user. Glass is safe and has no side effects. Please always keep your glass stored in a bag. If your glass toy gets scratched not only will it feel nasty and become a dangerous toy to use the germs can breed in the scratches. Glass is non porous and can be boiled, put it in a dishwasher or use some sex toy cleaner. Any of these options are good. The good news is that you can use any lubes with glass.

Metal

Easily one of the more recognisable and hardy toys. Metal toys are usually made with medical grade stainless steel. You can tell by the quality of the finish. Look for toys that are seamless and are in good condition. Keep your metal toys in material bags. This not only keeps them clean, this stops them from getting scratched. This could result in injury. Be aware of some toys that are combined with nickel. Usually, you can tell as they have some discoloration. Some people are allergic and this can cause a nasty reaction. Metal toys are safe, have no smell or taste and are very easy to clean. To clean they can be boiled, placed in a dishwasher or simply washed and sprayed with some sex toy cleaner. Metal toys are very safe for personal use and last forever. The good news is that you can use any lubricant with metal toys. Like glass, metal can be used in temperature play.

Wood

“Wood?” I hear your question.  Whilst not the first material you think of when it comes to sex toys, there are a few I have seen and they are impressive. These toys actually have the same feel as glass toys. Smooth and cold. Depending on what wood is used the toy can vary in weight.  The toys are finished off with a coat of non-toxic resin. So they are safe to use.  To clean use water only. You do not want to break down the resin as this will break down the toy. Look for seamless toys that have a high quality finish. You can use any lube with wood.

Real feel

Real feel materials are often referred to as Cyberskin, soft skin or ultra-skin. Most masturbators are made of this as well as cock extensions and cock rings. The material is thermoplastic elastomer (TPE). It has a very soft dense feel and can hold warmth once it has been heated. You can heat these toys by putting in hot water or simply by using the products.

These materials are very flesh like and are soft and very flexible. Due to the soft dense like material any vibrations that accompany the toy are usually weak. Whilst TPE has been claimed as a safe material, it is porous. You should watch out for any colour change. This can mean mould is growing on your toy and should be discarded immediately. Due to the personal nature of the toys TPE toys should be changed every couple of months or so. You can only use water based lubricants on TPE. Silicone and oils will break your toy down and leave it feeling sticky and dirty.

I hope this list helps you pick out body safe products the next time you go sex toy shopping!

Author: Leonie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!