The Truth About Anal Shopping Experiences

Woman Shopping At A Sex Toy Store

It​ ​was​ ​7pm​ ​on​ ​a​ ​Wednesday​ ​night.​ ​As​ ​I​ ​carefully​ ​and​ ​meticulously​ ​cleaned​ ​the​ ​shining​ ​metal hook​ ​in​ ​my​ ​hands,​ ​the​ ​smell​ ​of​ ​disinfectant​ ​wild​ ​and​ ​acrid​ ​in​ ​my​ ​nostrils​ ​I​ ​gazed​ ​upon​ ​my surroundings​ ​and​ ​took​ ​in​ ​the​ ​sights​ ​and​ ​sounds.​ ​Wall​ ​after​ ​wall​ ​of​ ​beautiful​ ​multi-coloured​ ​toys covered​ ​the​ ​shelves,​ ​each​ ​of​ ​them​ ​silent​ ​and​ ​still,​ ​yet​ ​somehow​ ​with​ ​a​ ​life​ ​of​ ​their​ ​own.​ ​They called​ ​out​ ​from​ ​the​ ​shelves,​ ​beckoning​ ​with​ ​their​ ​textures​ ​and​ ​silhouettes,​ ​chanting​ ​into​ ​the​ ​still air.

I​ ​heard​ ​an​ ​alarm​ ​sound​ ​in​ ​the​ ​depths​ ​of​ ​the​ ​store,​ ​and​ ​it​ ​was​ ​in​ ​that​ ​moment​ ​that​ ​I’d​ ​realised​ ​a young​ ​girl​ ​stood​ ​before​ ​me,​ ​with​ ​willowy​ ​blonde​ ​hair​ ​and​ ​a​ ​curious​ ​expression.​ ​“Sorry,​ ​I​ ​didn’t see​ ​you​ ​there”,​ ​I​ ​apologised.​ ​“Would​ ​you​ ​like​ ​any​ ​help​ ​with​ ​anything​ ​today?”.​ ​She​ ​gazed​ ​up​ ​at me​ ​with​ ​intent​ ​eyes.​ ​“I​ ​would​ ​actually.​ ​You​ ​see,​ ​my​ ​boyfriend’s​ ​gone​ ​to​ ​Rome​ ​for​ ​a​ ​few​ ​weeks now​ ​and​ ​he’s​ ​returning​ ​tomorrow,​ ​and​ ​well,​ ​I’d​ ​like​ ​to​ ​surprise​ ​him.​ ​I​ ​know​ ​he​ ​loves​ ​a​ ​bit​ ​of​ ​anal play​ ​and​ ​I’d​ ​love​ ​to​ ​get​ ​him​ ​something​ ​that​ ​will​ ​stimulate​ ​his​ ​prostate…”​ ​she​ ​trailed​ ​off.

She​ ​seemed​ ​embarrassed​ ​to​ ​even​ ​say​ ​such​ ​a​ ​thing,​ ​and​ ​I​ ​assured​ ​her​ ​“There’s​ ​no​ ​judgement here,​ ​come​ ​with​ ​me​ ​and​ ​I’ll​ ​show​ ​you​ ​what​ ​we’ve​ ​got.”​ ​I​ ​guided​ ​her​ ​to​ ​our​ ​shelves​ ​of​ ​anal​ ​toys and​ ​asked​ ​her​ ​“Is​ ​your​ ​boyfriend​ ​experienced​ ​with​ ​anal​ ​play?”

She​ ​shook​ ​her​ ​head.​ ​“I​ ​know​ ​he’s​ ​had​ ​an​ ​ex-girlfriend​ ​who​ ​loved​ ​anal​ ​play,​ ​but​ ​whether​ ​he’s gone​ ​there,​ ​I​ ​couldn’t​ ​tell​ ​you”.​ ​I​ ​nodded​ ​and​ ​said,​ ​“If​ ​he’s​ ​inexperienced,​ ​he’ll​ ​want​ ​to​ ​start​ ​off with​ ​something​ ​small.​ ​Often​ ​times,​ ​people​ ​misjudge​ ​the​ ​size​ ​of​ ​objects​ ​they​ ​can​ ​take;​ ​and what’s​ ​the​ ​point​ ​in​ ​him​ ​having​ ​a​ ​toy​ ​if​ ​he​ ​can’t​ ​even​ ​insert​ ​it?”

She​ ​picked​ ​up​ ​a​ ​set​ ​of​ ​anal​ ​plugs,​ ​a​ ​set​ ​of​ ​three​ ​starting​ ​from​ ​very​ ​small,​ ​to​ ​medium​ ​to​ ​a​ ​larger size.​ ​“What​ ​do​ ​you​ ​think​ ​of​ ​this?”​ ​she​ ​asked.​ ​“It’s​ ​good”,​ ​I​ ​said.​ ​“​ ​However,​ ​wouldn’t​ ​you​ ​rather something​ ​vibrating​ ​so​ ​that​ ​it​ ​can​ ​hit​ ​his​ ​prostate​ ​just​ ​right?”

She​ ​looked​ ​at​ ​me​ ​thoughtfully​ ​and​ ​said​ ​“What’s​ ​the​ ​deal​ ​with​ ​guys​ ​and​ ​their​ ​prostates​ ​anyway?” I​ ​inhaled​ ​and​ ​pondered​ ​where​ ​to​ ​begin​ ​and​ ​how​ ​to​ ​explain​ ​the​ ​prostate.​ ​“I​ ​suppose​ ​the​ ​easiest way​ ​to​ ​explain​ ​it,​ ​is​ ​it’s​ ​the​ ​male​ ​equivalent​ ​of​ ​the​ ​female​ ​g-spot.​ ​It’s​ ​about​ ​the​ ​size​ ​of​ ​a​ ​walnut and​ ​feels​ ​rougher​ ​and​ ​firmer​ ​than​ ​the​ ​rest​ ​of​ ​the​ ​anal​ ​cavity.”

Image Of The P-Spot
Diagram: The Location Of The Prostate Gland

“But​ ​why​ ​would​ ​you​ ​want​ ​to​ ​explore​ ​your​ ​prostate​ ​if​ ​your​ ​penis​ ​does​ ​a​ ​good​ ​enough​ ​job orgasming?”​,​ ​she​ ​asked.​ ​“Because,​ ​girl,​ ​the​ ​penis​ ​is​ ​limiting.​ ​Why​ ​have​ ​one​ ​type​ ​of​ ​orgasm​ ​for the​ ​rest​ ​of​ ​your​ ​life,​ ​enduring​ ​the​ ​same​ ​feeling​ ​over​ ​and​ ​over​ ​when​ ​you​ ​can​ ​expand​ ​your capacity​ ​for​ ​pleasure?​ ​Women​ ​are​ ​killing​ ​the​ ​orgasm​ ​game,​ ​by​ ​the​ ​way.​ ​I’ve​ ​heard​ ​you​ ​can have​ ​three​ ​types​ ​of​ ​orgasms”.​ ​She​ ​laughed​ ​and​ ​said​ ​“I​ ​think​ ​it’s​ ​more​ ​like​ ​11.”

​I​ ​stared​ ​at​ ​her​ ​in​ ​disbelief​ ​and​ ​shook​ ​my​ ​head,​ ​not​ ​yet​ ​ready​ ​to​ ​deal​ ​with​ ​the​ ​injustice​ ​that​ ​had just​ ​been​ ​revealed​ ​to​ ​me.​ ​“Just​ ​to​ ​let​ ​you​ ​know​ ​how​ ​it​ ​feels,​ ​it’s​ ​basically​ ​like​ ​a​ ​new​ ​type​ ​of pressure.​ ​Like​ ​that​ ​post​ ​orgasmic​ ​feeling,​ ​but​ ​deep​ ​in​ ​your​ ​pelvis.​ ​And​ ​once​ ​the​ ​orgasm​ ​does hit,​ ​it​ ​feels​ ​like​ ​a​ ​stream​ ​of​ ​cum​ ​and​ ​a​ ​continuous​ ​orgasm​ ​instead​ ​of​ ​a​ ​pulsing​ ​one.​ ​You​ ​could probably​ ​give​ ​your​ ​boyfriend​ ​head​ ​while​ ​this​ ​happens​ ​and​ ​he​ ​would​ ​love​ ​it.”

Sir Richards Prostate Massager in Blue
Buy Now | Anal Sex Toy Shop

“I​ ​want​ ​one​ ​for​ ​myself​ ​now.”​ ​she​ ​muttered.​ ​We​ ​laughed​ ​and​ ​that’s​ ​when​ ​we​ ​spotted​ ​Sir Richard’s​ ​Prostate​ ​Massager.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​a​ ​smooth,​ ​decadent​ ​black​ ​box​ ​spurring​ ​intrigue​ ​and mystery​ ​for​ ​both​ ​of​ ​us.​ ​We​ ​simultaneously​ ​reached​ ​for​ ​the​ ​packaging​ ​and​ ​knew​ ​then​ ​that​ ​we had​ ​to​ ​discover​ ​the​ ​contents​ ​of​ ​the​ ​box.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​better​ ​than​ ​we​ ​could’ve​ ​imagined;​ ​the​ ​toy contained​ ​two​ ​motors.​ ​One​ ​on​ ​the​ ​base​ ​meaning​ ​perineal​ ​stimulation​ ​and​ ​one​ ​at​ ​the​ ​top,​ ​to stimulate​ ​the​ ​prostate.

“The​ ​shape​ ​is​ ​so​ ​sleek​ ​and​ ​smooth,”​ ​she​ ​commented.​ ​I​ ​nodded​ ​and​ ​said​ ​“And​ ​the​ ​shape​ ​is perfect​ ​for​ ​stimulation.​ ​Do​ ​you​ ​see​ ​these​ ​two​ ​grooves?​ ​At​ ​the​ ​narrowest​ ​point​ ​of​ ​the​ ​grooves, your​ ​asshole​ ​will​ ​clench,​ ​letting​ ​you​ ​know​ ​how​ ​far​ ​in​ ​the​ ​toy​ ​has​ ​gone.​ ​And​ ​it​ ​has​ ​the​ ​added bonus​ ​of​ ​rubbing​ ​against​ ​your​ ​prostate​ ​perfectly.”

“And​ ​so​ ​it’s​ ​just​ ​the​ ​prostate​ ​and​ ​the​ ​perineum​ ​that​ ​provides​ ​pleasure?”​ ​she​ ​asked.

“As​ ​a​ ​gay​ ​man,​ ​I​ ​enjoy​ ​the​ ​sensation​ ​of​ ​feeling​ ​full​ ​from​ ​anal,​ ​if​ ​that​ ​makes​ ​sense.​ ​I’m​ ​not​ ​sure​ ​if this​ ​would​ ​apply​ ​to​ ​your​ ​boyfriend.​ ​But,​ ​the​ ​erogenous​ ​zones​ ​are​ ​generally​ ​the​ ​anus​ ​ring,​ ​the perineum​ ​and​ ​the​ ​prostate.”

Quote From Comedy Movie
Image: Man Whispering The Word Anal

I​ ​showed​ ​her​ ​how​ ​to​ ​turn​ ​on​ ​the​ ​toy,​ ​properly​ ​clean​ ​it​ ​and​ ​helped​ ​her​ ​choose​ ​a​ ​water-based​ ​lube to​ ​use​ ​with​ ​the​ ​toy.​ ​She​ ​thanked​ ​me​ ​profusely​ ​and​ ​promised​ ​to​ ​return​ ​on​ ​her​ ​next​ ​sexual adventure,​ ​seeking​ ​new​ ​ways​ ​to​ ​push​ ​boundaries​ ​and​ ​diversify​ ​pleasure.​ ​As​ ​she​ ​left​ ​the​ ​store, toy​ ​in​ ​tow​ ​and​ ​a​ ​wide​ ​smile​ ​on​ ​her​ ​face,​ ​I​ ​couldn’t​ ​help​ ​but​ ​feel​ ​envious​ ​of​ ​her​ ​boyfriend​ ​and​ ​the world​ ​of​ ​pleasure​ ​he​ ​was​ ​about​ ​to​ ​find​ ​himself​ ​in.

About the author: Andre is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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Richard runs the marketing and social profiles of adultsmart and adultsmart blog. He has been in the industry just over 10 years and enjoys his role both in an administrative capacity as well keeping abreast of issues relating to sexual health and lifestyles.

Anal Play – I Did It My Way!

Fun Factory Flexi Felix Anal Beads In Black

Some of my most treasured possessions in my sex toy drawer(s) worthy of being saved in the unlikely event of a house fire include my anal toys. I find these toys to be the most used and loved in my solo and partnered sex life-there are so many different options that each lead to a uniquely pleasurable experience. Butt toys are a great way of experimenting with anal play and are particularly appropriate for those who may have some reluctance with this type of play.

I am proud to admit that 80% of my bootie toy collection consists of Fun Factory products. There are many reasons why I am a huge fan of Fun Factory’s amazing anal product line, their high quality, funky designs and potential for inducing exquisite pleasure being the obvious highlights.

 

My Favourite Sex Toy Is My Hand
Image: My Favourite Sex Toy

 

Fun Factory are a German based sex toy company, producing quirky, playful and amazing quality sex toys at affordable prices. They are made from medical grade silicone which I have found to have its own unique texture. Unlike other brands that have a silky-smooth feel, the silicone that Fun Factory use for their products is slightly textured and grabby. It feels amazing and is great when used with a high-quality water based lubricant such as Pjur Back Door Comfort Water Based Anal Glide. Medical Grade Silicone is a non-porous material which means it’s very hygienic hence great for anal play. With waterproof anal toys, I highly recommend using a foaming toy cleaner such as Wicked Foam n Fresh to keep them spick and span.

Safety is paramount when experimenting with toys and anal play. Unlike a woman’s vagina, the anus and gastrointestinal system is long and there is much larger room for error (To put it simply, you can lose things up there!!). To avoid a trip to the emergency department, it is vital that any toys you are using for anal play have a wide base and solid handle that is easy to hold onto so as to avoid missing toys.

Flexi Felix Anal Beads

To be perfectly honest, I used to have some big judgements of the Flexi Felix Anal Beads. I couldn’t understand what Fun Factory were thinking creating a butt toy with a weird alien head handle (According to Fun Factory, it is actually a beetle head). It freaked me out and I never actually opened the box until a few months of working in the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres. Well you know the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover?” This is exactly what I insist customers do when I present them with the Flexi Felix as I believe that once you really check them out, you will agree that they are amazing anal beads!! Their elongated shape means they are really comfortable to insert and remove. This is super important when it comes to any sex toy especially anal beads and means they are perfect for anal bead beginners. Flexi Felix Anal Beads are 32cms in total length and are available in black or pink.

 

Fun Factory Bootie Set Anal Sex Toy Photo
Sex Toy: Fun Factory Bootie Set

Bootie Butt Plugs

The Bootie Butt Plug is a toy I hold near and dear to my heart as it was the first but plug I ever owned-my first introduction to butt toys in fact (I know, a very sweet story…Hold back your tears). Fun Factory have uniquely designed these toys, straying away from the traditional straight plugs and creating a curved plug with a tapered end that is a comfortable and snug fit. The base is intended to sit comfortably between your butt cheeks and is long enough to hold on to with ease. The Bootie plugs are available as singles in small, medium and large or in a box set with all three. The small is perfect for absolute beginners at 7.5cm in length and 2.5cm girth. The medium at 9.3cm length and 3.5cm width is a decent step up for intermediate users and the large at 11.1cm length and 4cm width is perfect for those who are experienced anal play peeps.

Fun Factory B Balls Sex Toy Image
Sex Toy: Fun Factory B Balls

B Balls

What do you get when you combine a Kegel exerciser and butt toy?! The Fun Factory B Balls of course!! The latest addition to my collection, this toy is stepping up to favourite position due to the exquisite pleasure it brings to my life. The B Balls are available in single or double, with each ball featuring a weighted ball within which creates a subtle shaking and vibrating-like sensation when moved around-no batteries required either! The pulsations of this travel through your body, a unique feeling that I am sure both men and women will love just as much as I do. The B Balls are available in Black/Red or Purple/White. The only part of these toys I will fault is the design not being smooth all over. I am not a fan of any sex toys that have cracks or creases, especially anal toys and these do. Prior to use, I would recommend anal douching and giving them a thorough cleaning after use, ensuring to not miss these spots.

 

Fun Factory Duke Sex Toy Image
Buy Now | Fun Factory Sex Toy Shop

Duke Vibrator

Out of all the amazing prostate vibrators available in store, The Fun Factory Duke is my number one seller. It has powerful vibrations with 2 intensities and 3 patterns, an easy to grip handle, is waterproof, includes a removable rechargeable bullet for use without the silicone prostate sleeve and comes with a 2-year warranty for any manufacturing faults. All of this at a really decent price. Now as a female I am sans prostate however I can vouch for these vibes as I have heard nothing but positive feedback.

If you are interested in their products, be sure to check out our Exclusive Interview With Laura Von Der Brelie From Fun Factory. Whether you are an anal play newbie or pro, Fun Factory deliver when it comes to making high quality butt toys available. Come into the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres and check them out!! If you are looking for an anal play enthusiasts you can meet you match on the Plenty of Fish dating website.

About the author: Sophie is a consultant at Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle CentresSave

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Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

To Douche Or Not To Douche?

Skwert Water Bottle Douche Adapter Image

A topic maybe not frequently spoken about might be a little embarrassing for some, but it’s certainly searched through the inter webs a lot. Countless upon countless blogs and articles outlining the do’s and the dont’s when it comes to anal douching. With anal douching just like everything else there are risks both ways. If you don’t douche… well those risk are clearer. If you do decide to douche, how and with what are very important. The following is simply some facts about the biological effects that can occur from douching vs not for you to mull over, the decision is ultimately yours to make as you see fit. I am not a medical professional simply a Human Sexuality and Psychology Graduate.

What is Douching?

It might be best for me to start off by explaining for anyone who isn’t familiar, what douching is. Douching is a cleaning aid system that involves passing water through the anus into the rectum and lower bowels or colon. This part of the body is where our digestive waste collects before disposal. The process of douching can be done in several ways from bulbs to attachments for your everyday household taps and showers. You can find these at any of our Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre or online at the Adultsmart store.

Anal Sex And Sexually Transmitted Infections

It is already common knowledge that with anal sex comes a higher risk of STI infection including a higher risk of HIV, and that this is due to the lining of the intestines/bowels to be so thin and therefore it is very fragile, this is why having safe sex is important. What might not be as commonly known is that sphincter or anus acts as a sort of warning barrier in terms of the cluster of nerves that it contains and the design of the muscles. The muscles face outwards to align with the peristalsis or digestive direction i.e. bowel movements. Just entering the anus goes against its physiology so care must be taken. The anus is also full of pain receptors like the skin only in more numbers, they are there specifically there to warn the body of any “aggressive intruder” if you will. These pain receptors have to be gently enticed to relax. Now one might think the solution would be to go slow and use lube? Only it’s not that simple, these specifically placed pain receptors are only located in the first 5cm of the asshole itself, meaning any bump, scratch or tear could go unnoticed causing serious damage and possible infection. But we’re not talking about anal sex, the process of douching can easily have damaging effects.

 

Anal Douching Safety Tips Image
Buy Now | Anal Douches And Enemas Product Range

Does Water Impact The Linings Of The Bowel?

One of the biggest concerns with douching is that by adding water to the bowels you can damage the fragile lining which of course is true. This fragile lining is designed to absorb water, but when it absorbs water in access it increases blood flow to the heart which carries many of its own dangerous risks. When the lining itself is damaged or waterlogged this leads to higher chance of infections.  Inserting the nozzle of the douching device brings a high risk of cutting or tearing the lining, which we have already stated brings high risk of infection. These are all true and bring high risks, which is why taking due care when douching is so important. A common topic that often gets brought up in the debate that is “Douching” is that overuse or frequent use will interfere with your natural workings, and that you could end up dependent on stool softeners and laxatives. There just haven’t been any long term studies actually looking at in depth the effects of frequent anal douching that can conclusively support this.

Why Do People Use Douches?

Now after discussing all the terrible things that can occur from damaging one of the most fragile parts of the body, you might be asking yourself why? Why put yourself at that kind of risk? It’s obvious to anyone reading this you already know the pleasures of anal play, or have been enticed enough to begin your research. You obviously want to experience the pleasures that come with anal interaction and want to be safe about it. So again ask to douche or not? Scat play or sex that involves poo is a fetish “Coprophilia”, is it right for you?

It is important to know that any interaction with fecal matter or poo brings a risk of bacterial infection. Unprotected penetration can cause severe UTI’s in men when fecal matter enters the urethra, Hepatitis A and E are also commonly found in feces, so oral or rimming an area containing feces is also very risky. There are also numerous GI (Gastrointestinal) diseases carried out of the body in this waste, such as Salmonella. The list and the symptoms are endless and none of them seem enjoyable and many can be fatal if not treated.

Conclusion

With all the above information and any other sources you find, it’s time for you to assess your comfort level with fecal matter or “poo” before deciding if douching is right for you. You might be one of those people who has regular bowel movement. When I say regular I mean regular on time and regular of a solid consistency that leaves you feeling completely evacuated. If you are, well la di da aren’t you special! Jokes, if you are you might be confident enough to know your schedule and be able to get away with a quick shower and a thorough cleaning between the cheeks and maybe a quick insert of the finger and you’re ready for insertion. There’s always the small small chance of something left behind. To quote the phrase “Shit happens” it’s true, when playing in this region it’s bound to happen. So how do you feel about that?

I have presented you with many but certainly not all of the biological risks involved with douching or not, the decision is yours!

About the author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology- Human SexualitySave

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Patrick Kriz has a Bachelor Degree (Honours) in Psychology - Human Sexuality. Patrick is a wonderful man that has a wealth of knowledge and is happy to share this with those around him. He is articulate, educated and the provider or interesting and educational writings. Having been a regular contributor to this blog for the past couple of months he has consented to add his profile to our ever expanding list of bloggers that provide us with the great content provided to you. We thank all our contributors and authors and a special thanks to Patrick whom we deem to be an expert on all things relating to sexual wellness and adult lifestyle with quality writings. Be sure to follow Patrick on Instagram.

3 Things People Fear About Anal Sex

Two Men After Anal Photo

There’s a lot of fear when it comes to anal play and yet, there’s still much curiosity about it. I was reminded of this idea when a young straight lad came into one of the stores this evening and asked a few questions regarding anal – despite the fear there’s still an abundance of curiosity regarding this type of play. More so, as we slowly move beyond the idea that sex is purely for reproduction and instead focus on the more sex positive attitude that sex is for pleasure as well.  This article is about breaking down the fear of anal play and we will do that by first acknowledging those fears, stripping them back and then talking about the ways to engage in anal play in a safe and comfortable way.

Anal Sex’s Ick Factor

There’s the whole shit on the dick thing. We’ve all heard the story about that one time when so and so’s friend had that awful experience when it came to that one night. This fear is fairly common, and it stems from our upbringing. The studies have shown that when a small impressionable child starts curiously playing with their genitals, and they’re told that that’s a dirty thing to do – then obviously they associate that feeling with their genitals. Some people grow out of it, some do not, and as a result whether we acknowledge it or not, our relationship with sex, sexuality and our bodies stems largely from our upbringing and the way those around us deal with issues of sex.  Our relationship with anal is largely because many individuals associate it with part of the human waste system. It’s an out not an in, is a common phrase which reinforces this idea. Let’s debunk this. Unless the body is just about to pass waste, or has recently done so – then there is actually very little chance of the dreaded shit on the dick factor. The anal cavity actually has a very thorough self-cleaning system which works really well. Yes, there are some risks if you’re playing rough, or you’re dealing with long toys or dicks, but in general the risk is actually quite small. The more you know!

Anal Sex’s Gay Factor

Butt sex, ass play, has long been considered the domain of gay men. There are countless ‘help me’ articles in magazines from concerned girlfriends who are worried that they’re beautiful boy is suddenly about to turn into a drag queen because he likes a bit of finger action. I’m not too sure where this one started, but anal play is not the domain of gay men. What might even surprise you, is that there are a lot of gay men in the world that don’t enjoy anal sex.  In an article by the Journal of sexual health and medicine, a study involving 25,000 gay and bisexual identifying men, stated that over 75% of participants responded with that their most recent sexual encounter involved the receiving or giving of oral sex. Contrast that with 36% of participants responding with their most recent sexual encounter involving anal play. In fact, mutual masturbation, kissing, genital and genital contact is a far more frequent occurrence among gay men.This is actually an issue which is fading over time. As people are becoming more in tune with their bodies, more comfortable in their sexuality and their openness about sex and sexuality – the stigma about anal play is slowly being broken down. Considering that prostate play is some of the most intense orgasmic experiences that a male can feel and massaging the prostate has benefits – then there’s a lot of people missing out on great sex because they think it’s a bit gay. The thing is, that anal play is not synonymous with a sexuality.

Anal Sex’s Ouch Factor

Anal sex can hurt. In saying that, there’s usually a few very select reasons as to why it hurts. One of the main reasons as to why it hurts, is because you think it’s going to hurt.  Consider the first time that you had sex, the awkwardness of it, the way it hurt a little and the way that it might have been over in just a few minutes. Very few first times are awesome, and what happens is they might have a bad experience which tarnishes any future experiences towards anal play. What we generally find, especially with younger partners, is they might rush through anal play for the first time, and this in turn can cause discomfort. Anal sex is not like other variation of penetrative sex. It requires patience, lubricant, and a recognition that the body might take time to adjust. There’s a myriad of different factors that need to be considered, but the main one that’s often ignored – is the fear. The anxiety. Which in turn affects the body’s ability to relax and you’ll tense up and it will hurt.

Couple In Bed After Anal Photo
Buy Now | Anal Sex Toy Range

Tips for Anal Sex

Anal sex is not necessary. You’re not obligated to add it to your sexual to do list, and quite frankly, the best way to have anal sex is to want it. When you want it, when you’re curious, when you’re relaxed and able to enjoy it is the best time to have anal sex. And, if I’m being honest, when you’re horny as all hell.  This combination of things is going to make anal play so much easier.  Once you’re used to it, you’ll find it much easier to add to your routine.

Patience. Patience is necessary when it comes to anal play. The muscles are involuntary, therefore it will take time for them to adjust to having something there which is not normally so. Lubricate some, put more lubricant on, and breathe.

If you’re really worried about some mess, then you can use a douche to help prepare. But one following the instructions on a douche you will need to wait about an hour before having sex. Also, don’t use that one hour to travel to your playmates house as the water needs to dry up and could end up on your favourite underwear. Douche, wait half an hour, and then start moving.

Follow these tricks will help you in riding that pole like a pro.

About the author: Stephen is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle CentresSave

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Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn't afraid to speak his mind and say what others won't. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites. Stephen's articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

Anal Sex Guide

Fun Factory Bootie Set Anal Sex Toy Photo

I recently had a customer come into one of the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres asking for a good lubricant for anal play. She described feeling “excruciating pain” when attempting to have penetrative anal sex with her partner and was looking for a product so they could do so successfully. Although products exist that reduce sensitivity around your butt, they are not magic cures to make excruciating anal sex feel good. My heart broke a little when I heard her experience as I could relate to her painful attempts to try anal sex and have it become a traumatising event. My early efforts at anal sex were met with the worst pain I’d ever experienced followed by days of discomfort! I feel fortunate to now know that this certainly doesn’t need to be the case!!  I am so excited to share some wisdom I’ve encountered along the way so that your anal experiences can be memorable in the best possible way. I speak from a woman’s point of view however the majority of these tips are appropriate for people of any gender and sexual identity seeking to dive deeper into anal play.

  • Relax and breathe: This is so important. Stress and tension can prevent anal sex from being the incredible experience it is capable of being therefore ensuring you begin with a relaxed and excited head space free of expectations is key. Sex doesn’t need be taken so seriously, make sure you have fun with it!!
  • Anal training and foreplay: Prior to jumping straight into full blown anal penetration, I highly recommend putting time into anal training and foreplay. Rimming and fingering are some great ways to get warmed up to anal sex and having some quality butt toys can make the experience really exciting. The Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres and Adultsmart have some amazing products perfect for getting your butt prepared for anal sex. Like the Fun Factory Bootie Set which includes 3 different sized butt plugs made from body safe silicone. These are great at gradually expanding your bottoms capacity, making anal sex possible, better and pleasurable.
  • What if he pulls his penis out and it’s dirty? Maybe this is too much information but I can tell you I’ve heard this fear voiced so many times by anal curious customers, so much so that I have come up with 2 answers to automatically rattle off.  #1 If someone wants to have sex with your butt, then this is a possibility they must be ok with. #2 Douche!! Cleaning your bottom out before partaking in bootie action will eradicate a lot of this fear however if you or your partner are far from ok with the possibility of mess then this will result in anxiety and tension (Remember the 1st point…not good!). This brings me to my next point…
  • A supportive partner: Whoever you choose to enjoy anal sex with, it is vital that there is a clear line of communication between you both. Being able to voice any discomforts, fears or worries before, during and after anal sex (and any sexual act for that matter) is key to an enjoyable, fulfilling and pleasurable experience. Anal sex can make you feel extremely vulnerable, often bringing up intense feelings and emotions which is why mutual trust and respect is vital.

 

Pjur Back Door Relaxing Silicone Anal Glide Image
Image: Pjur Back Door Relaxing Silicone Anal Glide

 

  • Be prepared! A good quality lubricant is really important to ensure comfortable anal penetration. Pjur Back Door Relaxing Silicone Anal Glide is a popular choice, with silicone lubricants my favourites. Unlike water based lubricants that usually feel sticky, your body doesn’t absorb silicone meaning constant reapplication is not necessary. That means less fumbling around for you both and more emphasis put on making the experience enjoyable. Intimate Earth Anal Relaxing Serum is a product I would recommend to people if they need something to relax their bottoms. It includes natural ingredients and doesn’t have a numbing effect like other products on the market. I also recommend keeping a couple of towels handy just in case. Enough said.

 

Intimate Earth Anal Relaxing Serum Image
Image: Intimate Earth Anal Relaxing Serum

 

  • Clitoral stimulation: Clitoral stimulation can be a really great way of relaxing your body whilst having anal sex. It also means greater pleasure as having your butt stimulated amplifies your orgasms to astronomical heights. A sex toy in your vagina can also be extremely gratifying but it does mean that it’s going to feel a lot tighter which could potentially be uncomfortable. I recommend having a few toys handy in case the desire arises to mix it up.
  • Get to know your own butt through self-exploration: I am a huge advocate of women and men getting to know their own bodies before being intimate with another. It can be a really empowering thing to know what your body’s capabilities are so that the road to reaching greater experiences with another can be shown.
  • Anal sex is pleasurable: Last but most certainly not least, anal sex is a pleasurable experience, not a painful one!! I can’t stress this point enough as I have spoken with countless women who believe that to have anal sex means to feel pain. Pain is your body’s way of protecting you from harm and when these messages are ignored then the repercussions can be horrible. Anal fissures & tears, bleeding, difficulties when going to the toilet, and unnecessary discomfort are just some of the issues that can occur from ignoring your body’s pain signals. During anal play, there may be a tightness or fullness experienced in your bottom which is perfectly normal however if pain is felt and is not going away, then take some time to slow it down or stop all together. Your body will thank you for it.

The staff in the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres specialise in all things sex and pleasure so if reading this has you excited to try anal sex, come in and speak to staff about some of the products and sex toys that will make your experience as enjoyable as it should be.

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA NursingSave

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph's writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.
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