Top Secret World Of Crossdressing Husbands

Men Love Dressing as Women

Many people do not know exactly what a transvestite actually is. This article will look into answering some of the questions you may have about transvestites.

What Is A Transvestite?

A transvestite is a man who feels and is interested in wearing women’s clothing. Transvestites feel more comfortable wearing women’s clothing than wearing men’s clothing. Another term for transvestite is crossdresser. There are transvestites from all kinds of backgrounds.

What Pronouns Should I Use For A Transvestite?

In this modern world, most transvestites who like to dress like women do not want to introduce themselves as a transvestite.  The term transvestite may not be the preferred label that a person would like to be called. Some people may feel that the term transvestite is very offensive and would prefer to be called a crossdresser.

How Do Men Wear Women’s Clothing?

Crossdressers may be more comfortable and feel happier when they crossdress. Some men enjoy the feeling of women’s clothing as it can feel delicate and soft. Men can wear women’s lingerie under their clothing. This is a way to crossdress without openly showing other people publicly. In some cases, their spouses are unaware that their husband, boyfriend or lover is crossdressing.

People can crossdress privately in their own homes or in a public setting. They may choose to wear dresses, lingerie, and costumes. They may also wish to use jewellery, make-up, bras with breast fillers, wigs and get their eyebrows done.

Some crossdressers look like men dressed as women which may not be their ultimate aim. This may happen if they apply make-up incorrectly or wear clothing that doesn’t compliment their body type.  Learning the art of dressing as a woman might make their life much easier and often with practice and perseverance they can succeed.

If you are crossdresser keep it simple to start off with. Avoid high heels, especially those which have sling-backs as you will look clumsy and awkward.  Stay clear of glittery cocktail dresses unless you have practiced going out, standing and sitting just like a woman.  Most importantly, use make up sparingly at first. Make sure the make-up does not have glitter or harsh colours.  After you are comfortable with practice and experience you can then start to experiment.

Sexy crossdresser
Image: Crossdressing Man

Are Crossdressers Aroused By Wearing The Opposite Sexes Clothes?

Wearing the opposite sexes clothes may have nothing to do with being aroused. Like everyone else, they may not even be interested in having sex while wearing clothes.

How Do Crossdressers Act?

Crossdressers often desire not just to dress like the opposite sex, sometimes they also feel that they should behave with a more feminine nature than a masculine nature.

What About Crossdressers And Sex?

Sometimes, the crossdresser’s partner may not be aware of who they are at the beginning of the relationship. If a crossdresser later comes out to his partner they can sometimes become sexually confused. They can feel uneasy, upset and intolerant with gender play. Women who are in a relationship with a crossdresser may feel that they are not with a real man even though they are. For these reasons, women often just don’t feel interested in being intimate with their partner when they are crossdressing which is perfectly acceptable. Though this will cause their relationship to suffer. However, there are ways to deal with it and make sense of it.

It is seen that often many crossdressing men dress identical to their partner, or someone else that they idolise as this is the person that they love however this may even put more pressure on their relationship.  It can be a tough thing to deal with when your partner keeps stealing your clothes.

For this reason crossdressers must compromise. In order to compromise they must be aware of what their partner is comfortable with. Some partners may choose to leave the house or be in a different room when their husband, boyfriend or lover crossdresses. It is highly recommended to seek professional help for couples counselling.

Are Crossdressers Women Trapped In A Man’s Body?

Most crossdressers never feel that they are trapped in the wrong body. Most enjoy being a man and they never feel that they should be a woman. Instead, they are a man in woman’s clothing. They don’t require assistance with hormonal therapy or surgery to make them look more female.

What Is Trans?

Transgender or trans is an umbrella term for individuals whose sexual orientation character or expression is unique in relation to those regularly connected with the sex that they were born with. Being trans is about a person’s gender whereas being hetero, bi or gay is about their sexuality. Gender and sex are two distinct things.

What Is The Difference Between A Crossdresser And A Transsexual?

Many people are confused about the differences between a crossdresser and a transsexual. People who wish to change their gender are called transsexuals. Most of the time people who do not feel comfortable being a man, may feel that their psychology does not match up with their body. In the event that they feel unhappy, distressed and anxious it can cause the man to find a way to change his gender through gender modification surgery and hormonal therapy. A man who feels this way is said to have gender dysphoria. Women can also experience gender dysphoria.

Transvestite Man
Image: Famous Crossdresser

Why Do People Become Crossdressers?

There is no real known psychological reason to be a crossdresser or why people would like to be one. Nobody actually knows why some men prefer to wear women’s clothing. Most men who crossdress summarise it as a possible outlet for stress and anxiety that they had experienced in their lives. They had said that they tend to crossdress more through times where there is tension at work or in the home. When men crossdress they may feel the need to express themselves through their clothing which in turn makes them happier.

Do Crossdressers Want To Change?

It has recently been discovered that almost all crossdressers out there have never even considered having any psychological or medical treatment because these people find that their lives are just fine the way they are. A lot of crossdressers are happy and do not wish to change. However, some men may feel bombarded with guilt because they have hidden their desire to crossdress for so long they may require counselling.

Being a crossdresser is not a disease or a mental illness and a surprisingly large number of people crossdress to some extent. Many people do not share it with others. Those that have not accepted that this is part of their persona may feel better by talking about the situation to someone who is non-judgmental and understanding.

Why Is It Important For Crossdressers To Meet Likeminded People?

There are LGBTQIA+ communities who have social networks where people can meet likeminded people for support. Many support groups will not only offer advice on how to accept being a crossdresser but may help in selecting the most appropriate clothing to wear and make-up to use.

How Does Society View Crossdressers?

In the 70s there was a sexual revolution which supported the experimentation with gender and sexuality. Now there are entire communities and organisations raising awareness of different genders and sexualities which has made a great increase in acceptance and understanding within the community.

I hope this article answers some of the questions you may have had about crossdressers.

9 Hot Ways To Spice Up Your Love Life

Couple having foreplay

If you have been married or dating for a while now, you probably would not describe your sex life as being what it used to be.  Chances are, it’s not quite as exciting and fulfilling as it used to be.  Though your sex life might have started out as hot as a habanero pepper you have likely ended up in the pepper range. However, the good news is you do not have to stay in this range.  You can add some heat, excitement, and fun to your love life.  “Dinner and a movie” is the classic date, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get boring. Whether you’ve been dating your partner for weeks or for years, it’s important to make sure to spice up your relationship every once in a while.  Even if you’re just friends with benefits, you can look to one of the below suggestions to help keep things spicy.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Always doing the same thing? Try something that you both have never done before, like scuba diving or even a painting class. It doesn’t have to be something scary like sky diving (although that’s a great option!) but anything out of your normal routine will be exciting and feel sexy.

Repeat The Past

Remember your first date? Of course you do, and you probably remember all of the feelings and emotions that went along with it. If you’re trying to keep things interesting, why not repeat that first date? It obviously worked at the time, so who knows how much you’ll enjoy it now.

Couple at the park
Image: Couple Eskimo kissing

Change Something

Most spouses fall into a habit of doing the same old thing all the time, for instance, having sex in the bedroom.  This is not good, repetition gives way to boredom, mix things up.  Every time you have sex, change something, perhaps the location.  You don’t have to go to a hotel, you can have sex in the dining room or on the floor!

Introduce New Sex Toys

If you’re stuck in the same routine in the bedroom you can get really bored and introducing something different like sex toys can really spice things up.  You don’t have to jump straight into whips and chains but start somewhere.  Buy a vibrator or a dildo and test it out.  Just have a play with it, make it fun.  Buy a fantasy costume like a nurse or French maid.  If it’s with someone you trust, why not try some fluffy hand cuffs and let the other person do whatever they want to you (within reason obviously).

Make Sex Fun With Public Play

Vibrating panties can be a great way to spice things up.  Vibrating panties allow you to have your partner control a vibrator that’s hidden in your panties either via a remote control or a phone app.  That way you could be in a park or anywhere public and your partner can give you an orgasm.  I wouldn’t jump straight into this though, test out some vibrators and dildos before you move on to something a little kinkier like vibrating panties.  To find out more about vibrating panties, check out Vibrating Panties – The ultimate guide.

Talk About It

This might be hard but it can bring you closer together to open up and talk about your sex life.  Poor communication has been the source of many problems in a marriage.  So don’t go bottling things up, let your partner know how you feel and what you think.  This will show them that you value the marriage as well as your sex life.  Also, listen to what they have to say. It is not good to assume what the other feels.

Channel Your Inner Artist

Feeling creative? Picking up a sketch book and some pencils makes for an inexpensive date, and you already have the best looking model at your disposal.  Taking turns posing for a sketch is exhilarating and will definitely open up the rest of the day to more fun.

Do Some Reading

Looking to keep the passion alive? There’s no harm in picking up some spicy books to inspire you and your partner.  From steamy romance novels to sultry how-to guides, there’s a whole world of reading out there for the two of you to enjoy.

Pretend To Be Strangers

Perfect for the couple who has been together for a while – pretending to not know each other. Dress up and arrive separately at a bar with pseudonyms and back stories already created. There, you “find” each other among the crowd and allow your alternate personalities to hit it off.

No matter which one of these date ideas you decide to try, spicing things up if you’ve been together a while is important.  With these simple tips, you can get the ball rolling.  Remember all these cannot be accomplished by only you, it requires your partners help as well, what you can do is take the initiative and as I said talk about it!

VIP Interview With Somraj Pokras Co-Director Of Tantra At Tahoe And Author

Tantra teacher

Somraj Pokras is a Tantra teacher who works alongside Jeffre TallTrees at the Academy of Supreme Bliss Tantra from Tantra at Tahoe. Supreme Bliss Tantra is a carefully constructed brand of Tantra which focuses on the oldest living spiritual disciplines. Tantra is unique when compared with other organisations since it can be full customised to each individual, so people are able to follow Tantra with a wide range of approaches. This means that they are able to use Tantra in such a way that it is best suited to their individual lifestyles so that they are able to find out what best works for them.  The common themes that Tantra includes is:

Supreme Bliss Tantra combines all of these core philosophies to assist people with western background to be able to follow. It uses sexual and orgasmic energy to form a deep level of expanded consciousness which will:

Tantra At Tahoe have developed eBooks, teleseminars, workshops and coaching sessions. This is a VIP Interview with Somraj Pokras co-director of Tantra At Tahoe. Somraj is also the author of over 10 books including Female Ejaculation, Male Multiple Orgasm, Long Hot Tantric Love Making and Supreme Bliss Tantra Guide to the Ecstasy of Spiritual Sex.

Tantra books
Image: Male Multiple Orgasm and Female Ejaculation books

Tell me about yourself

Somraj Pokras co-director of Tantra At Tahoe, author of 10 Tantric Sex books, sexologist, author, blogger and trainer.

What inspired you to become a sex educator, sexologist and a Tantra expert?

I always had a strong sex drive but little understanding of how it really works. When I met my wife she was studying Tantra so we did a yearlong program together.  It transformed our sex lives individually and collectively so thoroughly that we started teaching others to follow a similar path.

What inspires you?

Books, articles, music for sure.  But even more so from applying consciousness and mindfulness to sexual encounters. My central interest is the anatomy and dynamics of sexual energy. So after we make love we talk and analyze what happened.

How has Tantra developed from Buddhist and Hindu teachings?

Not very accurate. Tantra came first as a grassroots rebellion against these and other organized religions. The earliest Tantra writings created a path to enlightenment without dogma or intermediaries like priests or holy men.

Why is Tantra important to Buddhism and Hinduism?

Buddhism and Hinduism aren’t anywhere near as sex-positive as Tantra has always been. In contrast Tantra doesn’t separate sex and spirit. Though it wasn’t originally a sexual practice, it advocates the awareness and application of the physical, especially lifeforce energy, to spiritual growth. That’s so different from modern religions that in the West it’s become identified with sacred sexuality.

What is the difference between Tantric sex and regular sex?

First, Tantric lovers treat their beloved as a reflection of the divine. A god or goddess. Next, love making happens in a sacred space with ritual practices like meditation, eyegazing, and intentionally calling in desired energies. Tantric sex is more conscious, more communication, more cooperation instead of male dominated. It’s longer because it’s focused on heightening sexual energy and amassing more pleasure instead of the goal of orgasms. Tantric lovers have multiple orgasms, many of them energy based instead of purely physical and triggered by more of the 31 erogenous zones than average lovers contact. When Tantric lovers choose to climax, women usually come first and many times. Many say it’s slower which is true at times. But Tantric sex is changeable, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, and often interrupted by application of hands and mouths.

How can people experience the best orgasms with Tantra?

By taking time, building energy together, targeting erogenous zones, and synchronizing their motions to reach a series of pleasure peaks, first alternately and eventually together.

What are the best Tantric sex positions?

The classic position is yab-yum, with her on his lap with her legs wrapped around his hips. The name means mother father because it depicts the Tantric creation myth, far removed from Adam and Eve. The Tantric view is that the divine beings Shiva and a Shakti create the world by making love in this position. Their secretions overflowed and solidified into the physical  universe. But to ask the question actually shows confusion with Tantra which rarely specifies postures and the Kama Sutra which has a chapter focusing on sex positions.

What can people do every day to experience Tantra?

Become more aware of their bodies, its sensations, its energies. They can do this my meditating before and during sex, practicing relaxation, and breathing more consciously.

Tell me about your product range?

We offer Tantric sex ebooks, long-distance coaching, and live private workshops. We have hundreds of free articles on our website and a steady feed of sexual news, techniques, and discoveries on our blog. Our latest ebook is Long Hot Tantric Love Making available at Tahtra At Tahoe.

13 Essential Tips To Find Love In An Arranged Marriage

Indian marriage traditions

One of my friends sent his son to me who seeked some advice before his wedding day. When I talked with him I realized he was not aware of the institution of marriage. What I have observed during all these years is that boys really do not know many things about this union of two adults and this can cause further issues building a relationship.

Here in India we find that the marriages are mostly arranged ones, a match is found either through an acquaintance or through matrimonial sites. A boy or a girl will register his/her name on a matrimonial site of his/her choice with all the relevant details and seek a match. When both parties are a suitable match, they exchange horoscopes and if they are compatible there are subsequent discussions that take place and finally, after the grand wedding the girl enters the boy’s house.

The most delicate part starts here as the boy is not aware of women’s issues nor does he understand the psychology of women. I believe that every man must study women’s issues especially related to menstruation. Before he gets married he must understand the menstrual cycle and the repercussions such as bleeding, pain, cramps, mood changes and the related psychology. It is he who is going to take care of her in the initial years of building a relationship with her because she has entered his house for good and it is not the other way round.

It is his responsibility as a husband to make his wife happy so that they can both lead a good life. Here are some suggestions to make it possible.

Arranged marriage ceremony
Image: Indian Proposal

13 Tips To Build A Strong Marriage With Your New Wife

  1. In the initial days and months he must make her comfortable and help her get adjusted with the new set-up.
  2. If she is staying with you by herself, help her in small day to day work. Don’t expect her to be on her toes all the time.
  3. Never expect that as a wife she is aware of everything. She is as new as you are in this relationship, which is between two adults, not one. So maturity is essential to handle all issues that arise.
  4. She may not be a great cook. She is equally qualified as she spent her time studying and building her career just like you so she couldn’t learn culinary arts. So what? Give her some time. She knows that the way to a husband’s heart is through his stomach.
  5. Be a little romantic. Surprise her with small gifts to celebrate special days or write small ‘thank you’ and ‘i love you’ messages which will help her feel special.
  6. You must find time for her. Take her out on the weekend to celebrate with some quality time together.
  7. Always involve her in important family issues and discuss her opinions.
  8. Don’t be a mama’s boy, no wife will appreciate this idea of a mama’s boy. What if she starts being papa’s girl? So, be mature.
  9. Stop being judgemental. In any arguments between her and your mother or sister, avoid taking sides.
  10. If she has professional aspirations; help her pursue them.
  11. Remember you are her best buddy and not a typical husband. Let her feel free so she can share her thoughts freely.
  12. Don’t force her to do something which she doesn’t want to do especially in the area of sex. She is not a sex toy, don’t force her for sex, accept and respect her when she says “NO”. Understanding the difference between consensual sex and non-consensual sex is important.
  13. Give her some personal space. Marriage is not the end of her previous life, her old friends and her social life. She is an individual even after marriage.

The secret of a harmonious, loving and peaceful coexistence is to do SWOT analysis for ourselves and other people. Focusing on people’s strengths and merits rather than on their weaknesses and defects is the key to building strong relationships. When we focus on the faults of others, we only draw those negative forces on to ourselves. We are so cultured we do not want to pollute the atmosphere with negative vibrations. Let us do away with ingrained notions of prejudice and biased views. Let us eradicate the judgemental attitude we possess. No one in the world is perfect. A union through marriage, friendships and relationships brings two imperfect human beings together and makes one cohesive figure out of it. Unless we accept that we are imperfect we may lose all the possibilities of making our life blessed and blissed out.

Author: Dr. Satish Bendigiri is a human resource specialist and educator with two decades of corporate experience and management education. Dr. Satish has a doctorate in training and development of employees in general and employees in the automobile sector.

1 Way To Start Sexual Healing Today

Couple dealing with sexual issues

We have physiotherapists to help us get our body back into shape after an injury. We have psychologists and counsellors to talk about any worries and concerns in our lives. We go to the doctor if something in our bodies is troubling us, with a great deal of attention placed on our physical health, mental health and well being. Our sexual health can be an area that is too often neglected, with sexual healing being a recently more open field focusing on the sexual health and well being of all individuals.

Why would someone see a sex therapist/sexual healer?

Our sexuality can be an area of our lives where much of our trauma, wounding and unhealthy patterns lurk in the shadows. These can come up in destructive ways that can but do not necessarily have to do with sex itself. We could be feeling stagnant in our creativity or suffering with body shame or we just keep on attracting “damaged” people to be in a relationship with.  A sexual healer is someone who can facilitate and support us through a process of healing our negative conditioning, sexual wounds and traumas so that we can live a more fulfilling life.

Man reigniting passion
Image: Rose

Who needs to see a sexual healer?

Just to be clear, no one NEEDS to see any kind of healer, however, if you feel like some of the worries or issues in your life relate to sex, relationships or love, you can greatly benefit from this kind of therapeutic work. People who have a history of sexual abuse or trauma commonly seek out this kind of support due to the nature of their trauma, people who are having unfulfilling, abusive or unhealthy relationships may be drawn to work through their issues with a sex therapist and people who are desiring more pleasure and satisfaction in their sex lives can also benefit greatly from this work. Those suffering from any kind of sexual dysfunction such as low libido, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, and dyspareunia as well as low body confidence or self-esteem can gain a great deal of assistance from a sexual healer or therapist.

What can happen in a session?

No two people are the same so no two sessions will be. Sexual healing sessions are tailor made to each individuals unique needs. They can involve counselling & therapy, working on establishing healthy boundaries & communication skills and bodywork (i.e. massage and touch). With a professional sexual healer or therapist, nothing will ever happen in a session that is not within your boundaries. I stress the importance of professional as it is vital to find someone who is competent and renowned for having integrity. This brings me to the next question…

Sexual healing massage
Image: Massage

How do I know who to go to?

Sexuality is such an intimate area of our lives, with care and attention necessary in order to find the person right for you. There are male and female therapists out there who offer some incredible services in Sydney and across Australia. Women who have sexual trauma involving men are sometimes reluctant to, yet can benefit greatly from working with a male practitioner. To have a safe representation of a man as you heal can be profoundly healing. The same applies for men who may have a traumatic history with women working with female practitioners. It may be a challenge to go into such intimate work with someone of the opposite gender yet it can be very powerful. What is important is you find someone who is trustworthy, respectful and competent. Read testimonials, do your research and ask around. This can be work that is extremely intimidating to start so be kind to yourself and understand it can take some time before you feel ready to dive in. The Sydney Tantric Massage website for those in the area is a great resource for professional practitioners, as well as the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers Website (For Australia and worldwide practitioners). A good practitioner will answer any queries you may have prior to organizing a session – ask as many questions as you feel so that it is clear what it is that will be happening in the session.

Sexually strong woman
Image: Woman pumping her muscles

The right to healthy expression of our sexuality is our birthright as human beings, with many in the world subjected to sexual abuse, discrimination, and suppression. From my experience, diving into healing my sexual traumas and reshifting my conditioning in regards to sex has changed every area of my life. My relationships have become deeper and more fulfilling, my body confidence has skyrocketed and in general, I feel more joy & pleasure throughout my days. I wholeheartedly believe that our sexual health deserves our care and attention just like any part of ourselves.  Once we bring our sexual shadows into the light, we can show up in the world as a freer and more authentic version of ourselves.

Author: Stephanie Curtis – BA. Nursing., Grad. Dip. Sexology

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