Damaging Sex Worker Myths

prostitutes

Earlier this week I saw a photo graph that contained some incredible harmful stigmas surrounding sex work and since I am an online sex worker myself I have a huge connection to the whole community and only want the best for us. Unfortunately, there is still a huge amount of stigma and prejudice around sex workers as a whole, especially full service sex workers (and this includes from people within our own industry!), it’d be nice to live in a world where this isn’t the case, but for now all I can do is put the word out there and hope to make the work a slightly easier place to exist in as a sex worker. So I’m going to take this week to debunk some myths. Let’s go.

 

All Sex Workers are mentally ill:


This right here is the one that set me off to begin with, the graphic I saw was called “Sad But True Facts about Sex Workers in the USA” which stated “100% of cam girls have mental problems and 96% of them have drug or alcohol addiction” putting aside the terrible grammar, this just isn’t correct, there is no studies you can find to show these statistics, and it’s just harmful. The closest study you can find that can even be compared to this is a study on Full Service Sex Workers (FSSW) in Cambodia, and even then only 50% actually had mental health issues… It just baffles me that people can push out these kinds of things, and not even think of how that effects a whole community of people. This is a myth.

 

All Sex Workers Were Coerced or Trafficked:


While there is a major problem with people being sex trafficked and coerced into sex work there is also a huge amount of people who do it on their own accord, whether it’s because the money is great, or because they just genuinely enjoy the job and decided they may as well monetise on it, it doesn’t matter, there are so many out there who do it as a choice. I am an online sex worker and while the extra money is amazing, I also just love having people pay me because they find me that hot, it’s amazing for self confidence and for the wallet. As I stated there is still a large problem with sex trafficking and we do need to fight that and focus on trying to end it, we also need to focus on letting women who choose to be in it live in peace and do their jobs, while not being judged or bullied for it.

 

Sex Workers are Diseased:


Now, I do just want to mention I am in NSW Australia where prostitution is legalised for the most part, but here within legal brothels all Full Service Sex Workers do need to undergo STD testing, they MUST use condoms for literally everything including genitals, and they do check every client’s genitals for obvious signs of disease and infection before they engage in any act. So with that being said Full Service Sex Workers are probably cleaner and more regularly tested than your standard Tinder hookup. Of course, people love to use the dirty card regardless, because apparently if you exchange money for services suddenly you catch everything… That being said, this is STILL a myth.

 

Sex Workers ruin marriages:


So, this is probably one of the ones that gets me riled up the most. Married men, engaged men, and men in relationships are the ones that need to be respecting their relationship’s boundaries, I do not care whether a stripper offered them a dance while they were in a strip club, I do not care if an Onlyfans girl offered them a pay per view video made custom for them, and I especially do not care if a Full Service Sex Worker offered them services while they were in the brothel. These men shouldn’t be in strip clubs, they shouldn’t be on Onlyfans, and they shouldn’t be in strip clubs if their partner isn’t comfortable with it. You wouldn’t get mad at the TAB for allowing him to bet on the horses if he was a gambling addict, and you wouldn’t be mad at a pub for servicing him if he was an alcholic. Stop being mad at women for simply doing their jobs, be mad at your partners for disrespecting your boundaries and your relationships, it’s so simple.

Put simply sex workers may offer a service like bdsm that their client just cannot get at home.

 

While these probably don’t seem like a huge problem to people who work regular 9-5 jobs in an office, they are a huge deal for those of us who work in the industry. Imagine if we treated tradies the same way, calling them dirty, useless, and of course my favourite “bludgers with no skills”. Imagine if we told office workers they  were degrading themselves for allowing their job to take over their whole lives, all while making a shitty wage and barely seeing their families.
Sex workers are out there making money, living their lives, and not judging anyone else. Leave them be and work on your mentality.

5 Tips: How to Flirt in a Successful Way?

flirt

Flirting is one of the most important skills when it comes to attracting people. Typically, you can see more or less successful attempts of flirting almost everywhere: from movies, through songs, to even public places such as the metro or a bus.

 

As experts from Beyond Ages say – Good, successful flirting can be seen from afar – typically, you can sense the chemistry between people, and observe certain signs of reciprocity. Similarly, bad flirting will give you second-hand embarrassment, and the feeling of sympathy towards one person that is trying to attract the other.

 

Flirting is an art. And as an art, it may get a bit complicated, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience in it. Luckily for you, we decided to reveal the mystery of flirting and show you how to flirt in a successful way in our short guide.

Initiate Physical Contact

By limiting physical distance between you and the person you wish to charm, you will be able to start flirting in the most successful way. But don’t take it too far: an occasional touch on the hand or an arm while laughing will be just enough to make the other person interested. Think of your body as an instrument able to attract the other person.

Keep Eye Contact

You should remember that eye contact is powerful, when it comes to flirting. Keeping eye contact will tell the other person that you’re confident, calm, and collected. You shouldn’t stare, though: keep the eye contact for a few seconds, look away, and then let your eyes come back to the person.

Be Subtle

Flirting is not about openly admitting “Hey, I think you’re hot. Wanna get out of here?” (although in some situations it would probably pass). It’s more about giving the other person signals that you find them attractive.

 

As research conducted by the Social Issues Research Center based in the UK showed, the initial impression is based in 55 percent on appearance and body language, 39 percent on the style of speaking and tone of voice and only about 7 percent on the words said. So, whenever you are meeting someone, you need to pay attention to your nonverbal communication, as it is much more important than the words ydaou utter.

Smile

You should start smiling more if you want people to perceive you as an interesting person that feels good to be around. A true, genuine smile or sincere laugh will make them attracted to you and your positive energy, and leave them wanting more.

 

Smiling makes you look younger, more attractive and full of positive energy. It creates positive vibes that affect the whole room and everyone in it. Also, smiling makes you more approachable and likeable to others – a person is a lot more willing to talk to you if you have a smile on your face than if you have a frown or an emotionless expression.

Be Attentive and Interested

Above anything else, people want to be heard. To flirt in a successful way, you should give them a lot of attention, show true interest in what they’re saying, and engage in their jokes and stories.

 

It doesn’t mean you can’t yourself crack a joke every now and then, but remember not to focus on yourself too much in the conversation. Take a balanced approach of focusing on the other person and yourself if you want your date to be a success!

 

If you’ll feel like the conversation is going to die out, try to keep it going by asking questions in regards of what has been said so far – it will not only give you a chance to learn more about that person, but will also show them that you are genuinely listening to what they are saying.

Always Be Accountable

As much as you want to be successful at flirting, don’t lie. If somebody asks you what you’re up to, don’t tell them you’re at work if you’re out with your friends. A lie has no legs – at one point or another the truth will come out.

 

You have to be smart about how you say things, and do it in a way that gets you the most positive attention possible. As long as you hold yourself to a high moral standard, flirting will come easy.

The Bottom Line

Don’t be so hard on yourself if flirting doesn’t come easy to you. Remember, practice makes perfect. With enough time, flirting will become a natural process for you and you won’t have to think about it at all – it will be second nature.

 

Now that you know some of the best ways to successfully flirt with another person, there’s nothing left for you to do but get out there and start meeting new, exciting people! Don’t stress too much if you don’t find the love of your life right away — people have different tastes, and some couples just simply don’t click. Most importantly, don’t try to pretend someone you’re not, if you want the relationship you are trying to pursue to work out.

It’s All About The BDSM Collars

bdsm collar

With the rise in popularity in BDSM and wearable kink gear let’s talk about collars.

 

Collars are used for a variety of reasons in BDSM and play and it’s important to know the different meanings surrounding them. It is not unusual to pass a coworker who is wearing a subtle and discreet collar everyday and you might never know.

 

Collars aren’t exclusively used as a form of restraint, punishment or degradation.

 

Collars of consideration:

 

Often used for new relationships, a form of ownership, think of it like a stepping stone to a permanent collar between a dom/sub, master/slave etc. The training collar is as much for both parties to decide if this is the dynamic that they would each like to pursue.

 

Training Collar:

 

These collars are worn when in a dynamic when a sub or slave is being trained in the dynamic, whilst still a form and a sign of ownership and is up to the Dom/Master when the training is complete.

 

Protection Collar

 

A collar in any variant is a form of protection. A collared person is under protection of someone and etiquette should be followed accordingly. This affords the wearer the ability to be left alone by single dominants unless they have the permission of the collar’s owner to approach. This is a responsibility of the dominant or whoever is in charge of the collar is significant and should also not be taken lightly. We will go into this further down.

 

Play Collars

 

There are two ways that a play collar can be used.In terms of dynamic, this is the most relaxed form of dynamic collars, but still not simply a collar for being restrained. Play collars are collars where dynamics are enforced and utilised during kinky scenes as soon as the collar is placed around the submissive’s neck.They are helpful to prepare the mindset for the scene that is about to come. When the collar is on, the wearer is the submissive, they are in the space of a submissive and respond to the person who placed it on them as such and respect them accordingly. At the end of the play session, which doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual, and the collar comes off, this is the sign that the dynamic has finished and the rules that applied for while the collar was on, are now complete. This form of training, or boundaries can be good for people who need that added guidance, comfort, or security. Lt me circle back for a second in case anyone was confused when I said play didn’t need to be sexual. Play with a collar could be anything from sex, to impact, or or service such as waiting on a person, bringing them food or acts of service. But even, play could be going out on a date and following certain protocols and rules. The limits are endless. It is whatever you and your play partner design, but they are your rules.

 

Other play collars are actual “play” collars. The type that are used during play for playful reasons, for restraint, for tying up and leading around, for degradation and submission or pet play. These can cross over into any of the other types of collar wearing and sometimes also be a stand alone. You can like being choked or led around on a collar without being a submissive.

 

24/7 collars

 

This brings me to our permanent collars. Our 24/7 collars that are worn all of the time. These are special collars indeed and can carry many different meanings to individual dynamics. For some, a permanent collar is the equivalent of an engagement ring or a wedding ring. For some, it is ownership. What it boils down to, is that it is a promise between two people that they take each other to be trusting of each other as a Dominant and a submissive and to respect each other as thus and to follow the rules of their relationship. Again, whatever that entails depending on their unique relationship.

Some dynamics might have contracts written up. Some may have collaring ceremonies and invite friends and family to witness placing the collar around the submissive’s neck. A permanent collar cannot be placed without both parties deciding and agreeing to it.

Because these collars are permanent, and never come off there are many different alternatives that people can pick these days. Nowadays many people choose to wear collars that appear closer to necklaces so that they are able to wear them to the office or out in public daily without being noticed. Some opt for the eternity collars that are fastened with an allen key. Others can get subtle BDSM collars custom fit to enjoy the best of both worlds.

 

Collar etiquette.

 

A few things to know about someone’s collar.

It is very disrespectful to touch a person’s collar without first gaining permission, and even then only if necessary.

If a person is collared it is always wise to speak to their “Dominant first” as a show of respect.

A person wearing a collar should not remove their collar without asking their “Dominant” first.

Wearing collars can also be very fashionable, so we understand that it may be hard to know if someone is wearing one as a fashion choice or a protocol, if in doubt, ask them, or someone at the event. If the person who is wearing it doesn’t answer, that’s ok, they might not be allowed to answer. Please do not think they are being rude and press them. Move on. If their Dominant approaches, apologise and explain. But we always suggest, asking the organiser of the event first when in doubt. They will be able to vet the situation better for you.

 

Collars are a beautiful and fun way to share connections and feelings within the BDSM scene. Collared individuals feel quite proud to be owned/collared by their dominants and see it as praise and an honour to be asked about their collars.

 

At Your Service,

 

Tiffany

OhZone  Adult Shop Sales Assistant, Educator and Proudly Collared.

Top Sex Positions You Should Try in 2021

better sex 2021

Your sex life could be boring, especially if you are a casualty of lazy sex syndrome. Most people cannot afford to stop in the heat of the moment to rearrange their bodies into unexpected positions. While it is tempting to rely on sex positions that you know or love, you should consider trying out some new positions with fresh twists for various benefits. Apart from better orgasms, new positions can also rejuvenate things with your partner. If you just met your partner from dating sites, below are new sex positions to make him/her want more of you.  So here are the 2021 best sex positions but if you missed out check out the sex positions for 2020.

1. Crab

If you are among those who believe what sex positions say about your relationship, you should always try new positions based on the status of your relationship. Among the new styles to try out is the crab. The style is quite similar to cowgirl with some tricks, as you will have to lean back and support your body with your arms instead of the knees. Once you are comfortable, you can move up and down or grind back and forth.

You should proceed slowly, as sudden movements can strain the penis. This style is not suitable if your partner is not flexible. However, the man can support the partner by bending their knees slightly for the thighs to provide additional support.

If there isn’t a penis in your relationship, don’t think you can’t try this sex position. Don’t be scared of putting a spin on this pose to make it work. For instance, your penetrating partner can use a strap-on and guide the toy by hand.

2. Cowboy

Cowboy is one of the effective sex positions for emotional connection. For this, lie down with legs spread out and allow the man to straddle the vagina from above. The lady should start with legs wide and the man’s knees between her thighs before adjusting. This sex position increases intensity and tightness for both parties, and most ladies can orgasm easily, especially with their legs clenched together.

3. Doggy Style

Doggy style is a classic option for many reasons, among them, offering different ways to enjoy your experience. It is also a good sex position to build confidence, especially for men with several sex-related problems. If you need some refreshing, you can enjoy this position on all fours by having your partner kneel behind you. Your partner can then hold on to your hips as you stay still or push your hips against your partner for better thrust. Besides, if you enjoy additional clitoral stimulation, this sex position makes it easily accessible for both of you.

4. Seated Wheelbarrow

If you are not sure which sex position matches your personality, you can try the seated wheelbarrow style. This option is fun for those who enjoy anal play while engaging in penetrative sex. As the angle allows your partner to penetrate deeply, it also gives him/her access to both holes. You can try this by sitting on your partner’s thighs as he/she sits on the edge of a bed or couch. Lean forward for them to enter from behind as they insert a lubricated finger in your butt.

5. The Lotus

It is a full-body and eye to eye style that brings forth physical and romantic intimacy. For this, your partner can sit on the bed, couch, or chair with legs crossed as if to form a pretzel. You should then sit on top and wrap your legs around your partner. Unlike other sex positions, you should move back and forth with your hips after penetrating instead of moving up and down. While the main goal of this sex position is better intimacy, it is not off-limits for casual sexual encounters. However, note that there is a lot of eye contact, which heightens your connection.

Bottom Line

Sex positions shouldn’t revolve around comfort and familiarity. You should be open to new ideas to increase pleasure and longevity. To reduce the variance between sex positions expectation vs. reality, feel free to modify any preferred sex position to your liking. Do you think your partner’s enthusiasm for new sex positions means he likes you to be his sex partner for a long time? Which sex position mentioned above is your favorite? Let us know in the comments section below.

Author’s bio:  

Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.