Deconstructing Sex Drive

sexual desire

What Your Libido Says About Your Health

Most of what we know about sex and sexual health we’ve learned from magazines and the internet. While some platforms are genuine and informative, others often try to push other agendas or sell a product. As such, it might lead to misinformation or misinterpretation.

Sexual compatibility is dependent on the sex drive of both partners

What Does Sex Drive Mean?

One of the most popular sex topics includes sex drive. Most people tend to live off from speculations and shallow online content. The best online dating sites often write blogs to address such issues, so please look them up. Here, we shall look into issues such as libido and age, its effect on our relationships, and when it should be a concern.

There are many factors that influence your libido, including mentally and physically

So, what does sex drive mean? Commonly referred to as libido, sex drive is a person’s desire or enthusiasm for sex or sexual activities. Those who often have sexual activities or urges are referred to as hypersexual. In contrast, those who lack sexual desire are hypo-sexual. More often than not, your sex drive is an indicator of your physical and mental functioning.

But is there an indicator for what sex drive is normal? How much is a lot, and how much is too little? Well, according to experts, the normal range is largely dependent on our partners. For instance, an individual might be hypoactive because they’re no longer attracted to their partners. According to some experts, the libido levels would only be an issue of concern if they affect your partner or yourself. For example, one couple might settle for once a month while another is okay with a weekly arrangement.

What Affects Your Sexual Desire?

First off, it’s crucial to note that libido is not fixated, and it is bound to change in certain circumstances. Most of the time, it’s easier to identify what causes a low sex drive or what affects your ‘normal’ libido. Some of the most common culprits include;

  •         The quality of your relationship/intimacy
  •         Fatigue levels
  •         Medication
  •         Abuse of drugs and alcohol
  •         State of mental health- stress, anxiety, depression
  •         Sexual abuse history
  •         Age
  •         Menopause/ pregnancy
  •         Poor sleeping habits
  •         Medical conditions such as diabetes and hypothyroidism

Is Sex Drive Good for Your Relationship?

Culture is a great influence on the dynamics of sex. It often dictates how early individuals experience sexual activities, openness on the topic, and the number of partners considered normal. 

The range for normal sex drive depends on how comfortable partners are with each other

Understanding how your culture affects your sex drive allows you to find partners more sexually compatible. As such, we can describe a ‘normal’ sex drive as something you’re both comfortable with.

The Impact of Time on Sex Drive

Just like most of our body functions tend to change with age, so will our sex drive. In women, physical changes associated with the aging process or menopause increase their self-consciousness, especially sex. Some women might experience decreasing libido if their bodies produce lower levels of sex hormones.

A drastic drop in libido is an indicator of pressing mental or physical unwellness more often than not. For instance, midlife crisis, big life changes, or emotional trauma tends to affect the sexual function of an individual.

It’s crucial to understand how sex drive changes through the years and how you can remedy the situation. Communication between partners is a great way of dealing with decreasing sex drive. There is often no need to seek professional help.


A decline in sexual interest can result from a web of factors, including biological, personal, psychological, interpersonal, and cultural. If you think it’s a reason for concern, please reach out to a professional. A clinical evaluation helps your doctor point out any underlying issues that might be eating away at your libido. Common treatment procedures include counseling, hormone therapy, and medication.

Do you have any queries or comments about sexual health and desire? Drop us a comment below. We would love to hear from you!

Author’s bio:  

Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.

Tips For Going To A Sex Party Event For The First Time

sex party

Are you thinking about going to a sex party event? Sex parties, or similar events, are becoming increasingly popular. The capital of Great Britain, London, is said to have one of the best sex party scenes in Europe. Not only are the parties sophisticated, but they are well organized. Organization is really important when it comes to staying safe.

If you have not been to a sex party event before, here are a few tips which you will find handy.

Contact The Organizers

Most quality sex party events will have a responsible organization behind them. It is important to make sure that other party goers are vetted and checked out. After all, you don’t want to end up at a sex party where safe sex is not practised.

Make sure that condoms are available at the party. It may sound like a good idea to bring your own, but how can you really trust the quality of the condom? That is why you want to make sure the organizers provide guests with brand name condoms.

Are cameras allowed? That is the other question that you should ask. People are quick to take advantage. You don’t want to end up finding yourself plastered all over social media in a compromising position.

Is It Your Kind Of Fun?

Not all of us like to play the same way at sex parties. For instance, if you are not into BDSM, going to a party which is just for BDSM followers, is not going to be for you. Once again, it is important to ask before hand.

There are parties that focus on one fetish such as BDSM or role play. Other sex party events may have been divided into rooms or scenarios, where you can enjoy a variety of adult fun.

Should I Bring A Friend?

If you have a like-minded friend, it is a good idea to bring him or her. Not very many of us have friends that we can take to sex party events.

The good news is that sex party regulars are a friendly crowd. It will not take you long to find a friend or two. As a matter of fact, most people who go to sex parties are regulars and enjoy meeting up with each other. It is not easy to recruit for sex party events. That is why the crowds that go, are nice to each other.

Are Sex Parties Legal?

Most sex parties are legal, but it is important to know a little bit about local laws. You don’t want to end up getting arrested for something which is not a legal activity in your state or country.

In some countries such as Holland, sex parties are registered. The Dutch have always been liberal minded when it comes to sex and adult pleasure. It is not a bad idea because Holland has very few problems with sex parties getting out of control.

What Is The Difference Between Sex Parties And Swinging?

When compared to swinging, a sex party event is normally less formal. If you are into swinging, swapping partners or having sex with different people, you are often a member of a club. When you want to join a swinger’s club, you would normally have to apply to the club secretary.

Once he or she has improved your application, and you have paid a member’s fee, you can go to the swinger’s club when you are in the mood. You will still have to pay for drinks, but in general, your membership fee covers the cost of the location.

A sex party event is normally paid per event. Going to sex party events can easily work out more expensive than swinging. The upside is that sex parties are often set in a better location and drinks are included in the ticket price.

A sex party event is a great way to try adult fun for a beginner. You will soon get to know people and learn how to let go. If you find that it is not for you, all you have to do is to walk away. It is very unlikely that other party goers will be offended.

Above all, take things slow and don’t rush into things. Also, don’t forget that safe sex really matters and you should always practice safe sex.

Things You Should Try In The Bedroom To Spice Up Your Sex Life

satisfied sex

Is your sex life suffering because family issues and issues with your job are on your mind? Are those aspects of your life fine but the sex is not exciting anymore because you’ve grown comfortable with your partner? If the fire is starting to go out, then you should know there are ways to reignite that fire.

There are many different things you can try to bring the fire back to your sex life. Excite your partner by showing your partner that you learned some new sex tricks. Pick your favorites from the list below and try them the next time you have a romantic night planned.

Take A Picture

This tip is very easy to do thanks to smartphones. Why not have some pictures taken during the climax? No one is suggesting you put these photos online because these photos should be the eyes for you and your romantic partner only.

You can get creative with the photos you take. If you’d rather have video then set up a tripod or place your smartphone where it can see everything and record the romantic encounter.

You should only do this with someone you know you can trust to keep the pictures and videos private.

Read Stories From Other People

There are short stories about sex that you can share with your lover to get them in the mood. If you don’t know about these stories then you should do some research and look for them. There are many more stories out there than the 50 shades series if that isn’t your thing.

This is a category that many different people have published stories. With how many there are available, you should find something that you and your partner will like.

Act Out Your Fantasy

If you want to spice things up then act out your favorite fantasies with your partner. While this may feel weird for people who have never tried it before, you can come up with the characters you want to pretend to be yourself. Pick roles that are different from your everyday life so this feels like a new experience.

If you are going to roleplay, you should include costumes and props to get the full experience. Whatever you want to do and whatever you want to see your partner do, try it all. Maybe you can improvise with costumes and props you already have so you don’t need to spend money.

Don’t Be Calling All The Shots

This has nothing to do with dominating and submissive roles. If you are still using vibrators, let your partner choose the settings before you use them. They also make vibrating panties that the female can wear while out on a date and let the man have the controls to add unpredictability to a date night.

Book A Hotel Room

A change of scenery always helps. Most people always have something they want to do in a hotel room. You could always combine two by roleplaying in a hotel room.

You can let the maids clean up after you leave but it’s more exciting if you two show up on your own. The one that arrives first can set the mood while waiting for their partner to show up.

Play Sex Games

Take turns trying to make each other cum and see who can last the longest. The first one to stop resisting the orgasm is the loser. When the game gets boring, change up the rules and you could end up creating new games.

Kiss Like Teenagers

Sometimes making things exciting doesn’t mean things have to get more intense. Sometimes you want to keep things simple. If there are no flames then you might want to hold off on sex because the forbidden fruit always tastes better.

When you went on dates in your teen years, some of your best memories might be when you were making out with your romantic partner. You could restore the flame and passion by only making out with your partner and not moving things forward.

Tell Your Partner, Where You Want To Be Stimulated

Get some body paint and paint X’s where you want your partner to kiss or bite or do whatever you are into. If the body paint is safe to eat, then your partner can lick it off when you’re done. You could use whipped cream if you don’t have body paint. Just make sure to put towels down beforehand because you do not want to create a mess.

If you are into different things then why not use different symbols instead of X? You could create memories as you experiment with this technique.

Things could always become boring but that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. The suggestions above are just a few things you can try to make things exciting again. You can also come up with things to try on your own to make your sex life more interesting.

10 Things Women Need to Know About Masturbation

female orgasm

Masturbation – we’ve all heard of it, some of us do it, but do we know as much about it as we think we do?


While masturbation is a completely normal and healthy thing to do, there has been a taboo surrounding it in the past, particularly when it comes to women. Surveys show that there is still a large gender gap when it comes to routine masturbation – only 7.9% of women between the ages of 25 and 29 masturbate two to three times a week compared to 23.4% of the same demographic of men.


While there are plenty of gender gaps we’d love to close, this isn’t a bad place to start. Here are the top ten things women need to know about masturbation.


Masturbating can improve your sex life

Sex is like any other skill – the more experience you have, the better you get at it. And what better way to practice than by getting to know your own body?


By getting familiar with your body and what makes you squirm with ecstasy, you can take that with you into the bedroom. Knowing your body makes you more confident, and the newfound knowledge may even encourage you to be more vocal with your partners, since you’ll know exactly what they can do to get you there. There’s a myth that masturbating makes it harder to climax during sex, and this couldn’t be more wrong.


It can improve your health

Masturbating doesn’t only improve your sexual health, but your mental health too. Having an orgasm releases the endorphins dopamine and oxytocin, which improve your mood and create a natural high. A surge of these endorphins can also relieve pain – perfect for those menstrual cramps that may plague you once a month. Orgasms have also been proven to decrease cortisol, also known as the stress hormone – elevated levels of cortisol have been linked to lower immunity to heart disease.


There are endless ways to pleasure yourself

The limit of ways you can pleasure yourself does not exist. From getting creative with your hands to the infinite options of sex toys out there, you’ll never run out of ways to have some solo fun. Get your first staple vibe, adorn your derriere with a dazzling faux-gem anal plug or browse a list of best lifelike dildos on the market to add to your special toy collection. When you’re masturbating, you don’t have to think about anybody’s needs or limits but your own – your pleasure is your only priority, and there’s a toy out there for every lady.


Women also have plenty of erogenous zones. Please yourself vaginally, anally, or a combination – incorporate your clitoris, nipples, inner thighs…it’s up to you to experiment and find your sweet spots.


There is no wrong way to masturbate

Like we mentioned before, your only priority when you’re in the zone and ready to go is you. When it comes to your own pleasure, there is no wrong way to indulge. The more you explore with yourself, the more you’ll learn what you enjoy. If you’d rather ditch the toys and opt for rubbing against your favorite pillow, go for it. If you want to include a ton of props and engage all your five senses, carve out some time and pamper yourself. As long as you’re safe and comfortable and not harming your body in any way, there’s no wrong way to play. Remember – good sex shouldn’t hurt.


Even female animals self-pleasure

Human women aren’t the only species of women that love to masturbate. That’s right – female animals have been caught scratching their sensual itch more than once, and each in their own favorite way. Monkeys and porcupines use sticks, birds bend their tails under an object, and horses rub against posts. Who would’ve thought?


It helps you sleep

There’s nothing worse than a sleepless night filled with tossing, turning, yawning and sighing. Orgasms release stress-reducing endorphins that make it easier to fall asleep. Our brains are powerful, mighty organs – we can train our minds to associate orgasms with sleep. By masturbating and giving yourself an orgasm regularly right before bedtime, you can train your mind to create a behavioral link that triggers to your body that it’s time for a good night’s sleep. This can prompt the onset of sleep and even improve your quality of sleep, since orgasms also increase the likelihood of deeper sleep cycles.


It relieves stress

There are plenty of non-sexual ways to relieve stress, like aromatherapy, yoga, a nice warm bath…but the sexual stuff sure hits the spot too. Masturbating to the point of orgasm does wonders for stress relief, because when you orgasm, positive endorphins are released and cortisol is lowered, giving you a natural pick-me-up, and helping you to temporarily forget all the things on your to-do list.


You can have multiple orgasms

By knowing how to please yourself, you’re get one step closer to giving yourself multiple orgasms. Even though climaxing usually means the end of sex for men, women have a shorter refractory time – sometimes as low as under a minute. So, whether you want to go once, twice, even three times…the choice is yours. When masturbating, you are fully in control.


It keeps you sexual even when you’re not having sex

If you’re between partners or caught in a dry spell, masturbating can help keep you sexual until your next sensual rendezvous. Not only does it help keep the tissue elastic and increase blood flow, but it reminds your brain that you are a sexual being who enjoys pleasure. The more sex you have (even if it’s with yourself), the more it’s on your mind, and the more you’ll want!


There are no downsides

As long as you stay hygienic and use your sex toys the way their meant to – don’t stick an electric toothbrush anywhere – there are no risks to masturbating. Nothing bad can happen – you won’t catch anything, you won’t get pregnant, and you won’t get any random bruising.   Masturbation provides All gains and no downsides…what’s not to love!

What It’s Really Like to Be One of the Top Melbourne Escorts

Escorts Australia

“The finer things in life aren’t free, but if you really want them, they’re there for the taking.”– XOXO June

Melbourne is truly an incredible place. The capital city of Victoria, and the locally dubbed “cultural capital” of Australia, the city offers a number of exquisite and exclusive perks for those that come to play and those that come to pay. From festivals and galleries, to a thriving international business hub, the city has something for everyone, even if what you’re looking for is an escort.


Victoria has been known for a great many things, but being the first state to advocate the regulation and legalization of sex work, for many, is one of the most important contributions it has made. Melbourne escorts get to enjoy a number of perks that other sex workers throughout the world may never see, and likewise, these benefits also extend to their clients. Safer practices and less dragging stigma are just a few.


But for the gracious and mysterious woman who granted us an interview, being one of the Melbourne escorts has offered her so much more.

Meet *June

Well, first of all, June didn’t just land here, in her downtown high rise, with its modern, yet accessible, decor. Lounging in a very expensive looking sweatsuit, drinking juice she just pressed herself.


“I lucked out,” she starts. Not a whisper of apology or remorse in her posture, or her words. “I was raised in a good, middle-class home, got a great education. Had comfortable relationships with men and my parents. I wasn’t really saddled with all the baggage some of the other girls have. Escorting was truly a choice that I had, and one that I made. Without any outside pressure.”


Speaking of her parents, her mother is a professor at a local university, and her father was a stay-at-home Dad her entire childhood. So she was “given a feminist platform” before she could walk. While every finery she is currently indulging in is solely funded by her prowess as one of Melbourne’s top escorts, she had to get in at the ground floor and climb the ladder, just like everyone else. While her parents didn’t disown her when she finally came to telling them what it was she did for a living, “they were less than happy about it”. But June did what June does, and fought for her own desires. As both a woman and a professional sex worker.


How Good Do Melbourne Escorts Have It?

“I had to start out like most other Melbourne escorts,” she remembers, “I had to hustle, put my professional profile on a number of different advertising platforms, get my own vetting and security system, have a dedicated work phone, fake name, all of it. To be a good escort, and still be able to function normally in the world outside of your job, you have to, sort of, compartmentalism your personality.”


June said that she was always a “people person”, friendly, easy to talk to. Of which is obvious, as conversation flows as easily as her fresh-pressed green juice. She also said that she always enjoyed sex. “Casual sex for me was always much more gratifying than long term relationships. As I aged I realized that being an escort just better fit my own sexuality.” June self-identifies as a pansexual, cis-gendered woman, who has no desire to settle down anytime soon. “The idea of one relationship never fit my lifestyle. I never wanted affection from just one person, and I never wanted to give mine to only one.”


Being able to commodify both her background and her own brand of sexuality was “extremely gratifying” to June. “I remember reading a paper discussing the idea of ‘erotic capital’ and thinking to myself, I have that. I can use that.” June says that while she’s no stranger to traumatic and unfortunate experiences within the industry, that they “don’t happen often and are swiftly dealt with in a healthy way.” Which allows her something that few escorts worldwide get to enjoy; whether it’s due to trauma, depression, drug abuse, or the negative and often violent stigma that Melbourne escorts are subjected to, June gets to genuinely (and literally) enjoy the fruits of her labors. And while it’s something she refuses to apologize for, June is also aware of the privilege she holds as one of Melbourne’s most exclusive sex workers.