Hair Or No Hair? That Is The Question…

A woman waxing her pubic hair for sexual health

The way my mind works is a little bit bizarre, with the things keeping me up at night being slightly different than your average person. Lately I’ve had a few questions in mind in regards to pubic hair and I am so grateful to have an outlet where I get to bring these strange internal queries to an audience. They go something like this;

When did the presence of pubic hair in pornography become a category of its own? What is the importance of porn? How does porn impact sexuality and body image? Are we really living in a time where the natural way a woman’s body is created is something to trim, wax, shave and primp? Is there anything wrong with the bald hair style trend? Or should we be embracing a full bush like they did pre-1980s?

Body Image In Society, Culture & The Media

It is most definitely not a new concept that women have felt the need to modify their appearance, with females dating back thousands of years changing their bodies using a range of methods – corsets, tattoos, piercings and feet binding are just some of the many practices women have implemented over time to change their appearance.

Since I can recall, for the most part, I have been exposed to images in the media and in pornography that almost denies the fact that women have hair on and around their genitals. Do not get me wrong, I am all for women doing with their bodies whatever they wish. I do however question whether clipping their nether regions is an empowered choice women make or if over time they have been made to feel that it is not normal to be a la natural.

Some people believe that there is something unclean with women who have pubic hair, with this a false idea. Pubic hair is normal, and it is womanly.  I think Hank Moody from the series Californication said it best

“While I’m down there it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I’m not talking about a huge 70’s Playboy bush or anything. Just something that reminds me that I’m performing cunnilingus on an adult.”

Woman with heart designed pubic hair
Image: Heart Shaped Pubic Hair

One of the concerns I have regarding the inundation of portrayals of hairless women is the effect it may have on young women coming into puberty or women who do not desire to remove their pubic hair. Just like the possible impacts of seeing only size 6 models on Instagram may have on a curvaceous size 14 woman, I fear only being exposed to women in porn who have no pubic hair may make women with hair feel less than comfortable with their bodies. The lack of representations in mainstream pornography of women with all different hair styles gives the impression that everyone is hairless or needs to be to be considered “normal”!

I have heard of many women who absolutely must have clean shaven genitals otherwise they won’t be intimate with anyone – this is based on what they fear the person they are being intimate with will think if they are not. It frustrates me hearing things like this because

  1. I think it is absurd that women feel they can’t experience pleasure without somehow changing their bodies and…
  2. Women get so preoccupied thinking men care so much when they really don’t!

What Do Men Think About Pubic Hair?

I have spoken to many (good) men and the consensus is, they are just so grateful to be intimate with a woman, they do not actually care about her pubic hair! I think perhaps the ideas we have about men being swayed towards baldness as opposed to natural is because of the portrayals in pornography, without this being the case in every instance. Sure, there are some men and women who prefer no pubic hair and that is a completely valid preference to have. Preferences and differing desires is what makes human beings unique and I encourage people to stick to what truly feels good to them.

Different designs for pubic hair
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Changing Your Appearance Is A Personal Choice

I accept the fact that women have complete choice in what they do with their bodies and how they change their appearance and I in no way wish to condemn women for choosing to go hairless. I merely bring up this query as a way of getting women to think about why they shave or wax. Is it for aesthetics? Comfort? Pleasure? Or perhaps it is just done because it seems like the only option.

A partner who does not expect you to be anything other than your most authentic self is the only person worth being with ladies so I encourage you to look at your hair styling habits and decide what is right for you. It could mean that you keep on keeping on (aka shaving or waxing) but you may in fact discover that natural feels best for you. Mix it up and try different things, don’t just do something because everyone else seems to be. Maybe a landing strip or lightning bolt is your style, or perhaps keeping your bush neatly trimmed is your cup of tea. Trust yourself, honour your true desires and feel empowered in however you wish to treat your body. The most important thing to remember is that nothing is sexier than a confident woman who respects and feels good in her body, hair or no hair!

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Reddit’s Pregnancy Test For Men

3 Men Covering Their Genitals In An Office

I’m sure like everyone who’s on the internet these days has, at one point or another, seen the article floating about. “Man took a pregnancy test as a joke” or something like that. This was a Reddit article that began making its rounds in 2012 if I remember correctly? The point of the article was that after taking a pregnancy test and the results being positive, this bloke went to his Dr to find out he had testicular cancer! I remember talking about it with a professor of mine from Uni when the article came out, surprisingly he had experimented with this theory himself. This particular professor had just found out he had Germ Cell Tumors, so already knowing he had cancer, he was curious if the test results would also indicate pregnancy. After peeing on a test stick, he also had positive results.

I saw the article floating around one of my social media platforms last night and got to thinking what others might be thinking of this article? If it worked for this guy, why not for everyone? This story seems very straight forward, but giving it a deeper look, a vast number of variables come into play with what cancers can be found through these pregnancy tests.

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So What Is It That Causes This Positive Result On Pregnancy Tests?

First, you have to identify what chemical marker the pregnancy test is looking for. The answer Beta Human Chronic Gonadotrophin or HCG for short. HCG is a hormone that is rarely present in the body man or woman. HCG makes its appearance as rapidly growing cells begin to attach themselves somewhere they weren’t before. (Generally when an Embryo attaches itself to a uterus.)

These same rapidly growing cells are present in a number of cancers, but certainly not all or even the majority of cancers. The Cancers that produce identifiable HCG markers are all part of a grouping called Gestational Trophoblastic Disease or GTD. This cancer grouping is a type of cancer identified by its Tumor groupings and is most commonly found on Germ Cells. Germ Cells are the primary building block cells and are primarily found in the Ovaries and Testicles, but not limited to. Interestingly these same cells are found in cancers in the chest. Not all ovarian and testicular cancers fit into the GTD grouping either. Meaning some cancers in the ovaries and testicles may not produce any HCG or very low levels of HCG, and would not register on a urine pregnancy test.

There are specific blood tests that examine HCG levels and can identify these much easier through blood samples rather than urine. There are many many things that can affect the detectability of HCG in urine such as, prescription medications. There have also been a number of studies done where certain people (no identifiable marker for these people) whose Hepatic or liver systems produce antibodies that cover up the HCG markers making them undetectable through urine and make it harder to identify even through blood tests. So many variables have an effect on these specific tests, hard to rely on just one system.

It’s Probably Best Not To Rely On These Home Pregnancy Tests

With so many types and varying cancers out there, I think it’s probably best not to rely on these home pregnancy tests to rule out your fear of having cancer. There’s nothing wrong with trying to detect cancer at home with a pregnancy test kit, but please do not rely on this test alone. Even women can get false alarms with positive pregnancy test results. Even if these pregnancy tests could successfully test for Cancer every time it is only testing for a very small number of potential cancers. It would be like correctly answering the first page of a test and just not answering the rest.

The best strategy is to see a specialist. Have yourself examined for Testicular/Ovarian cancer or any kind of cancer, especially if it runs in your genes. It is also important to note that, prostate cancer can cause erection problems.

About the author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology Human Sexuality

Patrick Kriz has a Bachelor Degree (Honours) in Psychology – Human Sexuality. Patrick is a wonderful man that has a wealth of knowledge and is happy to share this with those around him. He is articulate, educated and the provider or interesting and educational writings.

Having been a regular contributor to this blog for the past couple of months he has consented to add his profile to our ever expanding list of bloggers that provide us with the great content provided to you. We thank all our contributors and authors and a special thanks to Patrick whom we deem to be an expert on all things relating to sexual wellness and adult lifestyle with quality writings. Be sure to follow Patrick on Instagram.

P-Spot Beyond Pleasure!

Man Wearing Underwear

I don’t need to explain to the homosexual readers of this blog the pleasures that come from the prostates involvement in your sexual activities. This article is for the hetero-curious men and couples out there reading. It is about opening up to find pleasure and equality through the prostate.

From the beginning of our sexual explorations and curiosities we learn from what we see, and as the prostate is unseen it is rarely spoken about. Not to mention the “Taboo” associated with anal play. The stigma that men who participate in anal play must be gay.. is too long outdated and is in serious need of a new outlook. The act of a man participating in a prostate orgasm allows for a man to step outside of the societal gender roles and hand the power over to his female partner. Too rarely does a man ever get to experience the receptive part or sex, all too often they take the common role of “Pitching” and leave the “Catching” or receptive aspect of sex to their female partners. This ideology is what I believe to be a huge factor in why the notion of gender roles are as they are currently.

A mutual knowledge of the vulnerability/ the expected role of a woman starts from experiencing two sides of the same coin. In this particular topic, penetration is the coin. For a man who has never experienced penetration on himself, he might intellectually understand the need for the “warm-up” before penetration, however, nothing can demonstrate its importance as well as experiencing it first hand. There’s always a clearer perspective that comes from personal experience.

What Is A Prostate You Ask?

The prostate is a small gland made up of mostly muscle tissue that sits around the base of the bladder. Its main function is to secrete fluids that are mixed with the Semen from the Vas Deference during orgasm. This is the most important piece of information for this article. A man’s prostate is most active at the moment leading to orgasm when pressure is added to the already pulsing Prostate gland creates an even more powerful ejaculate which heightens the feeling of orgasm. This reason alone should be enough to intrigue any man!

Through prostate orgasm, a man is able to reach multiple orgasms… Yes, I said it! A man can have multiple orgasms too! It is not just for the ladies.

Image Of The P-Spot
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Benefits Beyond Pleasure

When you engage the prostate with massage/added pressure, as I previously said allows for larger ejaculation orgasms. This helps to empty and refresh the prostate. It also encourages blood flow to the pelvic area, this helps to fight impotence. Yes playing with this little gland can help ensure you have healthy erections well into agedness. There is also a ton of research being done currently as to how having a regularly refreshed prostate lowers the potential risk of prostate cancer found so commonly in men.There are many other benefits of prostate massage.

How To Engage In Prostate Stimulation?

The prostate can be stimulated by adding pressure to the anatomy of the perineum (the space between the testicles and the anus. However direct contact from inside is always more intimate with greater effects. The prostate can be reached by inserting one finger into the anus approximately 1.5-2 inches tip of the finger pointing to the naval and rolling your finger in a come hither motion. You should feel a Squishy marble as you do this, that’s the prostate. Very easy to find. Keep in mind the skin around the anal opening is very sensitive and can tear very easily. EXTRA Lube is necessary. Start with a warm up; caress the outside of the anus (the anus has as many nerve ending as any other erogenous zone). Try stroking the penis, as the penis gets erect the blood flow around the prostate will also increase created a heightened pleasure sense.

Effects On The Relationship

For hetero-normative couples, it is understandable how “flipping” the roles could potentially have some uncharted territory. But that’s no reason to avoid or judge something. Especially something that has so much potential. Communication is key! You are in this together! Sex is more than just procreation. Sex is also about pleasure and as discussed has countless health benefits. What this will allow or aid in with couples in establishing compassion, empathy and understanding towards each other. It may not eliminate gender based unfairness or sexism, it does have the ability to open equal understanding and dialogue.

If you’re open enough to try a new world of pleasure, just remember to relax, have fun. It’s VERY NORMAL. Millions of men and women worldwide have already found the amazing pleasure to be had from this great pleasure zone. Everyone should want to be on the same page as their partner

About the author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology- Human SexualitySave

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Patrick Kriz has a Bachelor Degree (Honours) in Psychology – Human Sexuality. Patrick is a wonderful man that has a wealth of knowledge and is happy to share this with those around him. He is articulate, educated and the provider or interesting and educational writings.

Having been a regular contributor to this blog for the past couple of months he has consented to add his profile to our ever expanding list of bloggers that provide us with the great content provided to you. We thank all our contributors and authors and a special thanks to Patrick whom we deem to be an expert on all things relating to sexual wellness and adult lifestyle with quality writings. Be sure to follow Patrick on Instagram.

Check Out The Love Gloves!

Condom types

The “Condom” or whatever you want to call it, it goes by many names. A Rubber, Naughty Bag, English Riding Coat, Love Glove, Private Johnston’s Rain Jacket, and Insurance Glove you get the idea. Whatever you may call it, the Condom has its fans and its hatters. And both sides bring equally valid arguments to the debate, everything from poor fit to sensation loss. Let’s take a closer look at some of these; like most things I talk about, the choice is yours to make. You must be responsible for your own body, know your facts and know yourself.

The following are some of the most common reasons people use in the Great Condom Debate!

They don’t fit!

This might be the most common excuse given when a guy refuses to use condoms. While this is a very valid argument with as many as 40% of men laying claim to this. The condom design we have today has not changed since 1903 when they began using rubber condoms instead of “skin” (made from Sheep intestine) condoms. It wasn’t until the 1920’s when Latex was invented that having a liquid that could be moulded to form and then mass produced eliminated many of the size issues.

Still, 10% of men still claim that condoms are too tight another, 17% claim they are too loose, while 60% claim the condom bunches up (This increases the chance of the whole condom sliding off during intercourse). Lastly, 15% of men claim to experience “Foreskin Drag” (When the condom gets pulled into the foreskin). These are all valid and true excuses, but to be honest…

This, my friends, this is just a lazy shopper! If you gave up that easy because you bought a few general condoms at the local shops, and either you didn’t know how to put the condom on or by chance the condom really didn’t fit, might just be saying what a careless lover you are?

There are over 15 size variations from different condom makers globally. From length to width, whatever the issue, there is a condom fit for you! (If you want more information about fitting condoms, let me know in the comments.)

They are no fun!

Saying condoms are no fun, is like saying variety is bland… It can’t be argued that some of the sensation is lost when using a condom specifically for the male and that the sensation of slippery skin to skin feeling might not be the same, these condoms are the only thing keeping your risk of infection at almost 0.

Condoms these days are more than just an attempt at contraceptive. Condoms can give your mind ease regarding STI’s and pregnancy, but they can also add so many levels of pleasure and fun to your intimate sessions. Condoms come textured for both his and her pleasure, ribbing on the inside and the outside! Condoms today come in countless flavours, and everyone has had those days where you just weren’t into your partners… let’s say natural flavour.

I just don’t see where the lack of fun is?

 

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It’s just an extra cost!

Excuse me? The last global census puts condoms in the lowest bracket of consumer goods. Globally condoms cost on average $1. $1! The average single dose of Gonorrhoea medication is $17. If you’re not familiar with the symptoms of Gonorrhoea, dig a little deeper because that $1 condom might not seem so bad. The average cost of having a baby is $9,700. Again another cost that can be avoided with an “extra” cost of $1.

To top this off condoms are given away at all clinics and health care facilities if you don’t see any just ask!

I’m on Contraceptive!

The benefits of hormonal contraceptive have been proven to help with more than preventing pregnancies, the one thing it still cannot do is fight off those nasty infections that are so easily passed through bodily fluids. A contraceptive is great for controlling and effecting hormone systems. No product on the market has the ability to prevent or fight against Sexually Transmitted Infections. The list of these possible infections is ever growing, new strains of previously known STI’s are adapting and even becoming medication resistant. If you experience any symptoms of an STI, find your local general practitioner through Health Engine and book in for a sexual health examination .

Only “Heteros” need them!

It is very clear that Heterosexual relationships can lead to pregnancy, while Homosexual relationships don’t, but as previously discussed pregnancy shouldn’t be your only concern. For anyone participating in anal sex, it is very important to remember that the inner lining of the anus or bowels is much more permeable. This means that its chance of infection is much much higher. The rectum doesn’t have any defence from introduced bacteria or infections. Wearing a condom during any anal intercourse is really the only line of defence.

Conclusion

If you are experiencing “fit” issues, try try and try again. There are so many size variations available to you. Having sex with an ill-fitting condom is really defeating its whole purpose. When condoms are loose, fluids are able to escape which can lead to potential infection. Don’t hesitate to visit any of our store locations, a friendly staff member will be happy to answer any questions and perhaps give you some condom options that might work better for you.

About the author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology- Human SexualitySave

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Patrick Kriz has a Bachelor Degree (Honours) in Psychology – Human Sexuality. Patrick is a wonderful man that has a wealth of knowledge and is happy to share this with those around him. He is articulate, educated and the provider or interesting and educational writings.

Having been a regular contributor to this blog for the past couple of months he has consented to add his profile to our ever expanding list of bloggers that provide us with the great content provided to you. We thank all our contributors and authors and a special thanks to Patrick whom we deem to be an expert on all things relating to sexual wellness and adult lifestyle with quality writings. Be sure to follow Patrick on Instagram.

To Douche Or Not To Douche?

Skwert Water Bottle Douche Adapter Image

A topic maybe not frequently spoken about might be a little embarrassing for some, but it’s certainly searched through the inter webs a lot. Countless upon countless blogs and articles outlining the do’s and the dont’s when it comes to anal douching. With anal douching just like everything else there are risks both ways. If you don’t douche… well those risk are clearer. If you do decide to douche, how and with what are very important. The following is simply some facts about the biological effects that can occur from douching vs not for you to mull over, the decision is ultimately yours to make as you see fit. I am not a medical professional simply a Human Sexuality and Psychology Graduate.

What is Douching?

It might be best for me to start off by explaining for anyone who isn’t familiar, what douching is. Douching is a cleaning aid system that involves passing water through the anus into the rectum and lower bowels or colon. This part of the body is where our digestive waste collects before disposal. The process of douching can be done in several ways from bulbs to attachments for your everyday household taps and showers. You can find these at any of our Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre or online at the Adultsmart store.

Anal Sex And Sexually Transmitted Infections

It is already common knowledge that with anal sex comes a higher risk of STI infection including a higher risk of HIV, and that this is due to the lining of the intestines/bowels to be so thin and therefore it is very fragile, this is why having safe sex is important. What might not be as commonly known is that sphincter or anus acts as a sort of warning barrier in terms of the cluster of nerves that it contains and the design of the muscles. The muscles face outwards to align with the peristalsis or digestive direction i.e. bowel movements. Just entering the anus goes against its physiology so care must be taken. The anus is also full of pain receptors like the skin only in more numbers, they are there specifically there to warn the body of any “aggressive intruder” if you will. These pain receptors have to be gently enticed to relax. Now one might think the solution would be to go slow and use lube? Only it’s not that simple, these specifically placed pain receptors are only located in the first 5cm of the asshole itself, meaning any bump, scratch or tear could go unnoticed causing serious damage and possible infection. But we’re not talking about anal sex, the process of douching can easily have damaging effects.

 

Anal Douching Safety Tips Image
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Does Water Impact The Linings Of The Bowel?

One of the biggest concerns with douching is that by adding water to the bowels you can damage the fragile lining which of course is true. This fragile lining is designed to absorb water, but when it absorbs water in access it increases blood flow to the heart which carries many of its own dangerous risks. When the lining itself is damaged or waterlogged this leads to higher chance of infections.  Inserting the nozzle of the douching device brings a high risk of cutting or tearing the lining, which we have already stated brings high risk of infection. These are all true and bring high risks, which is why taking due care when douching is so important. A common topic that often gets brought up in the debate that is “Douching” is that overuse or frequent use will interfere with your natural workings, and that you could end up dependent on stool softeners and laxatives. There just haven’t been any long term studies actually looking at in depth the effects of frequent anal douching that can conclusively support this.

Why Do People Use Douches?

Now after discussing all the terrible things that can occur from damaging one of the most fragile parts of the body, you might be asking yourself why? Why put yourself at that kind of risk? It’s obvious to anyone reading this you already know the pleasures of anal play, or have been enticed enough to begin your research. You obviously want to experience the pleasures that come with anal interaction and want to be safe about it. So again ask to douche or not? Scat play or sex that involves poo is a fetish “Coprophilia”, is it right for you?

It is important to know that any interaction with fecal matter or poo brings a risk of bacterial infection. Unprotected penetration can cause severe UTI’s in men when fecal matter enters the urethra, Hepatitis A and E are also commonly found in feces, so oral or rimming an area containing feces is also very risky. There are also numerous GI (Gastrointestinal) diseases carried out of the body in this waste, such as Salmonella. The list and the symptoms are endless and none of them seem enjoyable and many can be fatal if not treated.

Conclusion

With all the above information and any other sources you find, it’s time for you to assess your comfort level with fecal matter or “poo” before deciding if douching is right for you. You might be one of those people who has regular bowel movement. When I say regular I mean regular on time and regular of a solid consistency that leaves you feeling completely evacuated. If you are, well la di da aren’t you special! Jokes, if you are you might be confident enough to know your schedule and be able to get away with a quick shower and a thorough cleaning between the cheeks and maybe a quick insert of the finger and you’re ready for insertion. There’s always the small small chance of something left behind. To quote the phrase “Shit happens” it’s true, when playing in this region it’s bound to happen. So how do you feel about that?

I have presented you with many but certainly not all of the biological risks involved with douching or not, the decision is yours!

About the author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology- Human SexualitySave

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Patrick Kriz has a Bachelor Degree (Honours) in Psychology – Human Sexuality. Patrick is a wonderful man that has a wealth of knowledge and is happy to share this with those around him. He is articulate, educated and the provider or interesting and educational writings.

Having been a regular contributor to this blog for the past couple of months he has consented to add his profile to our ever expanding list of bloggers that provide us with the great content provided to you. We thank all our contributors and authors and a special thanks to Patrick whom we deem to be an expert on all things relating to sexual wellness and adult lifestyle with quality writings. Be sure to follow Patrick on Instagram.

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