10 Quick Tips To Better Sex!

It doesn’t matter if you’re dating a young beautiful woman, a ruggedly handsome guy, or someone experienced from the cougar dating scene, sex is an essential part of every relationship. A lot of people these days are trying to diminish the importance of sex by saying that love and respect are the backbone of every relationship. This is true, of course, but good sex is something that creates a special bond between the two lovers. Now, since we’ve established the importance of a good sex life, it’s time for us to list the 10 quick and simple tips that will make your experience in the bedroom much better.

Exercise More

At first glance, this might seem completely unrelated to sex, but it can actually help you with your performance in the bedroom. Exercising regularly will help you feel healthy and confident, which will definitely improve your sex life.

Feel Free to Talk About Sex with Your Partner

Sadly, a lot of couples have a problem when it comes to talking about sex. They’re simply too shy to share their fantasies and desires, and that can ruin the sexual chemistry. Therefore, make sure you talk about your fantasies with your partner.

Be Spontaneous

Most people plan their sexual encounters, which eliminates the element of surprise. That’s how people get stuck in the rut. To avoid that and keep the flame alive, you need to be spontaneous with your partner.

Don’t Skip the Foreplay

This is probably the most important part of every sexual intercourse and yet so many people (mostly men), tend to skip it. And they wonder why their partner can’t have an orgasm! For sex to be good, passionate, and satisfying, you must never skip foreplay. This part of sex allows both you and your partner to relax and get in the right mood, which is essential for a good roll in the hay.

Use Your Hands

Most people think that sex is only about joining your private parts together, but love-making is so much more than a mere penetration. Therefore, if you genuinely want to have a better and more fulfilling sex life, you need to use your hands and fingers during intercourse. Touch your partner the way they’ve never been touched before and ask them to do the same to you.

Masturbate in Front of Each Other

This might be quite a challenge at first, especially for people who are shy, but if you want to get to know your partner and their body, you have to do this. Masturbation is a very private thing, so if you’re able to do it in the presence of your partner, it means that you can be completely relaxed in front of them. Only then will you be able to enjoy a passionate and satisfying sex with your significant other.

Show Your Partner How Much You Want Them

Even though it’s perfectly fine to be selfish during sex, you should also find a way to show your partner how much you want them. They need to know that you find them attractive. So, make sure they see the desire and lust in your eyes when you’re having sex. It will make them feel special and they’ll do anything to please you.

Use Sex Toys

Most couples shy away from sex toys because they think that using them means that their sex life is in a crisis. This, of course, doesn’t have to be the case. In fact, using certain toys like ball gags, bondage ropes, and blindfolds can help you preserve a passionate and interesting sex life.

Drink One Glass of Wine Before Sex

As you know, alcohol can help you relax if you’re feeling nervous or awkward before sex. That’s why you should always have a bottle of your favorite wine prepared. However, drinking too much wine or any other alcoholic beverage can ruin your sex drive. Therefore, make sure to drink just one glass of wine before sex. This will help you relax, but you’ll still be able to perform on the desired level.

Communicating Sexually

Communicate During Sex

A lot of people tend to keep their eyes closed and mouths shut during sex. They refrain from expressing their feelings and desires, but that’s not good. Your partner needs to know whether or not they’re doing the right thing. They have to hear your feedback, so make sure you communicate with your lover during sex. Also, ask them to do the same. This is undoubtedly one of the best ways to make your sex life better.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

Four Foundational Life Keys For A Man Seeking Healthy, Enlightened Sex

Men exercising for sexual health

If you’re like many guys, you have experienced, at least to an extent, some sexual frustrations or hang ups that you’d like to get a handle on. And if you’re also like most guys, you have all of the above and aren’t even conscious of it.

Living the life of a sexually and spiritually healthy and fulfilled man is your birthright. However, it’s something that you have to cultivate.

To make sure that you’re not settling for sex that doesn’t serve the greater good for your life, you’ll need to apply four life changes that will help you out exponentially. Below we’ll dive into these four staples, so apply them and never look back!

Live Your Life Based On A Purpose And Mission

This might not seem like the sexiest topic on the surface, but it’s actually the glue that holds it all together.

Both spiritual experts and scientists assert that your sex life reveals who you are and is a microcosm of your internal life. In this sense, this part of your life requires you to get naked in both the literal, and figurative sense. It’s important to continuously work on yourself, because the hangups you have in your head will also manifest in the bedroom.

For instance, a person that is afraid to speak up and express their ideas may also feel stifled and shy during sex. Money problems, stress, shame and other blockages can also lead to hangups with sexual dysfunction.

So when you base your life on a higher purpose of living your dreams, becoming the strongest version of yourself and sharing that energy with the world, you’ll be sexually free and won’t have feelings of inadequacy and lack. David Deida, author of the bestseller “The Way of the Superior Man”, stresses a man living on his purpose, so that he can move past fear and into love, which he’ll then share with his sexual partner.

Spiritual journeys aside, science backs the importance of a healthy man to live his truth. Studies indicate that men who had heightened testosterone levels are less likely to lie, or if they do lie, get significantly less satisfaction or gratification out of it than men with lower testosterone levels. In a sense, not living your truth lowers your testosterone, which diminishes your virility and sexual energy.

When you’re on a mission to become the strongest you, it’s much easier to approach women with confidence and explore the depths of your sexuality in the bedroom, without fear and hangups getting in the way. Make sure that you know what you want out of life and that you carry yourself accordingly, and you’ve won half the battle of achieving a high quality sex life.

Get Your Ejaculation Under Control

This is another foundational key for taking control in your sex life. Studies show that some 30% of men deal with premature ejaculation. Dealing with this situation significantly reduces a man’s enjoyment with sex, since he either can’t last as long as he would like, or worries that he won’t.

There’s a certain level of punchline surrounding this issue throughout society, which can cause a man to feel shame, which is the emotional death knell for sexuality.

Because of this, it’s important that you solve ejaculation issues if you have them. There are many exercises you can practice, but also make sure to dive into the psychological and emotional contributing factors.

Ejaculation issues aside, consider practicing sacred sexuality by learning the ejaculation-free orgasm. By managing your ejaculation in this way, as practiced for ages in Eastern practices and religions, a man can achieve multiple orgams that are fuller and deeper.

This way, you can have sex for as long as you want, with a deeper and more meaningful connection.

Make Sure You’re Living With Peak Health And Physicality

If you really want to live your best sexual life, it’s important to pay close attention to your health and build. You need to maintain a certain level of muscle tone, so that your body continuously produces high levels of testosterone as you age.

There are many different trains of thought when it comes to health and nutrition, but a few basics can transform your life. Engage in any exercises that help you build muscle and strengthen your heart, four to five times per week. You’ll have more endurance, better erections and clearer functioning brain — all of which are key skills to have in your toolkit.

In terms of nutrition, make sure to eat lots of healthy fats, which contribute to the production of testosterone and heart health. Give yourself a cheat day, but make it a life goal to eat clean, so that your signal remains clear and so that you maintain your energy and passion.

Sexually and mentally happy man
Image: Happy and healthy man

Control Your Mind And Feelings

Finally, it’s important for you to continuously live in the moment and feel the depth of your emotions.

Skill and technique are great, but a man that can stay present with his lover, while feeling and giving emotion, will also be great in the sack. This sets a man that lives and embodies his sexual energy apart from a man that just pulls off a few cheap gimmicks that he doesn’t really believe in.

This is easier said than done, since our minds are built to wander, and society has kept men from their emotions for so long. When you quiet your mind and own your emotions, you’ll wield them both with power and discretion, rather than letting them run you.

You can master this by using meditation in your life. It teaches you to be still and feel the present moment, so that you can act with authenticity, rather than simply being triggered by past trauma and future anxiety.

It builds a healthy brain as well, which enhances your sexual creativity.

When you build your life around these four tips, it’s much easier to own your sexuality and live a peak life as a superior man.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

4 Secret Habits Of A Vagina Weight Lifting Champion

Kegel weight lifter

The female body is nature’s most exquisite creation, with the intricate curves, lumps and bumps of a woman’s form making up a beautiful masterpiece of juiciness. A woman’s vulva is the seat of her femininity, reminiscent to numerous landscapes and objects we find in nature. From flowers and fruit, to caves and trees, female genitalia is everywhere if we so choose to seek it out.

Vulva fruit lookalike
Image: Strawberry

I tend to go on and on about the absolute need for women to take care of their most precious body part and it is for a very good reason. The genitals are a part of the body where many women neglect to care for, with the fact that it goes unseen for most one of the reasons behind this misfortune. Our vaginas, like every other part of the human body, deserve the utmost tender loving care.

Amazing things start occurring when women start paying attention to their pussies, with greater orgasms, improved self-confidence in and out of the bedroom and feelings of joy and pleasure in all areas of their lives. There are many things you can do to ensure a healthier relationship to your pussy, with the following some of the tools I have implemented in my own life that have helped me have a greater connection to my body:

Pussy Gazing

Intrigued? I sure hope so. Pussy gazing is as simple as the name suggests… looking at your genitals! So many women have no idea what is happening between their legs so getting to know their pussy using a mirror can sound really intimidating. Trust me, once the initial nervousness and surprise wears off, you’ll be so glad you did it. Be curious about what you look like, where your anatomy sits and what it feels like to see yourself so intimately. It can be a really exciting and sensual experience for you. Did you know, that there are many different types of vaginas?

Looking at the vulva
Image: Pussy gazing

Self-Pleasuring

Flicking the bean, diving for the pearl, beating around the bush. Whatever you want to call it, there is no greater way to achieve pussy appreciation than self-pleasuring. Taking your time to do it slowly and consciously can make all the difference between a good and great experience. Self-pleasuring leads to a greater connection with your whole body as well as a boost of feel good hormones. Combining self-pleasuring with pussy gazing can be super sexy so set up a mirror and get to it.

Masturbation for women
Image: Self-pleasure

Diet And Lifestyle

Your vagina is impacted from a whole range of lifestyle factors. From what you eat to how you exercise, taking care of your general health will see you have a healthy vagina.

Eating lots of fresh vegetables and avoiding processed sugar is really important to maintain the pH balance of the vagina. A vagina out of balance can mean yeast infections develop which are extremely uncomfortable and irritating-so stay away from excess processed sugar to prevent this occurring. Superfoods like Maca powder and raw cacao are known to be potent libido amplifiers so adding these to your diet can really make a difference to your sex life.

Eating for sexual health
Image: Eating chocolate

It doesn’t take an expert to tell you that exercise is good for you – the results speak for themselves when you give it a go. When we have a fit and healthy body, we feel more confident about ourselves and our life. This has a positive effect on how we approach sex and how we see our body. Staying active will see changes to all areas of your life including how you feel about every part of your body (including your vagina). Maintaining good core strength can be great for our pelvic floor muscles, with exercises such as Pilates a great way of doing so.

Woman performing Kegels
Image: someecards Kegel joke

Kegel Exercises

I have spoken to so many women who, as well as unsatisfying sex lives, have a host of physical problems with their vaginas. From sneezing then peeing to vaginal prolapse, a weak pelvic floor can lead to uncomfortable, painful or even dangerous health problems. You’re not going to feel so good about your vagina if it’s causing you pain or discomfort!

I know I go on and on about Kegel exercises but they really are so important. Lucky for all of you tired of hearing about the traditional methods I have a new way of completing Kegels that is super fun and leads to greater results faster… vaginal weightlifting!

For some time, I have been following a woman on Instagram who travels the world taking photographs of her carrying bizarre objects with her vagina – Think an Oscar on Hollywood Boulevard, a glass chandelier in Italy, a pineapple in Bali and a surfboard in California. As well as the fact that these are shot in beautiful locations, Kim Anami’s message is incredibly inspiring. She believes that every area of a woman’s life, from her sex life to her creativity, can drastically change for the better with a strong vagina. Kim is a vaginal weightlifting advocate and expert.

When it comes to the best way to improve your sex life, vaginal weightlifting is the way to go. As if you were going to a gym to exercise your biceps, you are going to achieve greater result from lifting a weight. Sure, moving our arms in certain ways will result in changes over time however the weight really amplifies the effects of the movements. The same principle applies when completing Kegel exercises with our vaginas-lifting a weight will lead to stronger, more powerful results faster. There are a huge range of vaginal weights and Kegel exercisers available in the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres that are worth checking out.

The list goes on and on however what I have included are some fun and easy ways to find greater love for your pussy. By implementing a few tools and lifestyle changes, it is possible to see the relationship with your body and your pussy skyrocket to great heights.

Author: Stephanie Curtis – BA. Nursing., Grad. Dip. Sexology

Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Hair Or No Hair? That Is The Question…

A woman waxing her pubic hair for sexual health

The way my mind works is a little bit bizarre, with the things keeping me up at night being slightly different than your average person. Lately I’ve had a few questions in mind in regards to pubic hair and I am so grateful to have an outlet where I get to bring these strange internal queries to an audience. They go something like this;

When did the presence of pubic hair in pornography become a category of its own? What is the importance of porn? How does porn impact sexuality and body image? Are we really living in a time where the natural way a woman’s body is created is something to trim, wax, shave and primp? Is there anything wrong with the bald hair style trend? Or should we be embracing a full bush like they did pre-1980s?

Body Image In Society, Culture & The Media

It is most definitely not a new concept that women have felt the need to modify their appearance, with females dating back thousands of years changing their bodies using a range of methods – corsets, tattoos, piercings and feet binding are just some of the many practices women have implemented over time to change their appearance.

Since I can recall, for the most part, I have been exposed to images in the media and in pornography that almost denies the fact that women have hair on and around their genitals. Do not get me wrong, I am all for women doing with their bodies whatever they wish. I do however question whether clipping their nether regions is an empowered choice women make or if over time they have been made to feel that it is not normal to be a la natural.

Some people believe that there is something unclean with women who have pubic hair, with this a false idea. Pubic hair is normal, and it is womanly.  I think Hank Moody from the series Californication said it best

“While I’m down there it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I’m not talking about a huge 70’s Playboy bush or anything. Just something that reminds me that I’m performing cunnilingus on an adult.”

Woman with heart designed pubic hair
Image: Heart Shaped Pubic Hair

One of the concerns I have regarding the inundation of portrayals of hairless women is the effect it may have on young women coming into puberty or women who do not desire to remove their pubic hair. Just like the possible impacts of seeing only size 6 models on Instagram may have on a curvaceous size 14 woman, I fear only being exposed to women in porn who have no pubic hair may make women with hair feel less than comfortable with their bodies. The lack of representations in mainstream pornography of women with all different hair styles gives the impression that everyone is hairless or needs to be to be considered “normal”!

I have heard of many women who absolutely must have clean shaven genitals otherwise they won’t be intimate with anyone – this is based on what they fear the person they are being intimate with will think if they are not. It frustrates me hearing things like this because

  1. I think it is absurd that women feel they can’t experience pleasure without somehow changing their bodies and…
  2. Women get so preoccupied thinking men care so much when they really don’t!

What Do Men Think About Pubic Hair?

I have spoken to many (good) men and the consensus is, they are just so grateful to be intimate with a woman, they do not actually care about her pubic hair! I think perhaps the ideas we have about men being swayed towards baldness as opposed to natural is because of the portrayals in pornography, without this being the case in every instance. Sure, there are some men and women who prefer no pubic hair and that is a completely valid preference to have. Preferences and differing desires is what makes human beings unique and I encourage people to stick to what truly feels good to them.

Different designs for pubic hair
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Changing Your Appearance Is A Personal Choice

I accept the fact that women have complete choice in what they do with their bodies and how they change their appearance and I in no way wish to condemn women for choosing to go hairless. I merely bring up this query as a way of getting women to think about why they shave or wax. Is it for aesthetics? Comfort? Pleasure? Or perhaps it is just done because it seems like the only option.

A partner who does not expect you to be anything other than your most authentic self is the only person worth being with ladies so I encourage you to look at your hair styling habits and decide what is right for you. It could mean that you keep on keeping on (aka shaving or waxing) but you may in fact discover that natural feels best for you. Mix it up and try different things, don’t just do something because everyone else seems to be. Maybe a landing strip or lightning bolt is your style, or perhaps keeping your bush neatly trimmed is your cup of tea. Trust yourself, honour your true desires and feel empowered in however you wish to treat your body. The most important thing to remember is that nothing is sexier than a confident woman who respects and feels good in her body, hair or no hair!

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Reddit’s Pregnancy Test For Men

3 Men Covering Their Genitals In An Office

I’m sure like everyone who’s on the internet these days has, at one point or another, seen the article floating about. “Man took a pregnancy test as a joke” or something like that. This was a Reddit article that began making its rounds in 2012 if I remember correctly? The point of the article was that after taking a pregnancy test and the results being positive, this bloke went to his Dr to find out he had testicular cancer! I remember talking about it with a professor of mine from Uni when the article came out, surprisingly he had experimented with this theory himself. This particular professor had just found out he had Germ Cell Tumors, so already knowing he had cancer, he was curious if the test results would also indicate pregnancy. After peeing on a test stick, he also had positive results.

I saw the article floating around one of my social media platforms last night and got to thinking what others might be thinking of this article? If it worked for this guy, why not for everyone? This story seems very straight forward, but giving it a deeper look, a vast number of variables come into play with what cancers can be found through these pregnancy tests.

Funny Meme Of Man's Pregnancy Test
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So What Is It That Causes This Positive Result On Pregnancy Tests?

First, you have to identify what chemical marker the pregnancy test is looking for. The answer Beta Human Chronic Gonadotrophin or HCG for short. HCG is a hormone that is rarely present in the body man or woman. HCG makes its appearance as rapidly growing cells begin to attach themselves somewhere they weren’t before. (Generally when an Embryo attaches itself to a uterus.)

These same rapidly growing cells are present in a number of cancers, but certainly not all or even the majority of cancers. The Cancers that produce identifiable HCG markers are all part of a grouping called Gestational Trophoblastic Disease or GTD. This cancer grouping is a type of cancer identified by its Tumor groupings and is most commonly found on Germ Cells. Germ Cells are the primary building block cells and are primarily found in the Ovaries and Testicles, but not limited to. Interestingly these same cells are found in cancers in the chest. Not all ovarian and testicular cancers fit into the GTD grouping either. Meaning some cancers in the ovaries and testicles may not produce any HCG or very low levels of HCG, and would not register on a urine pregnancy test.

There are specific blood tests that examine HCG levels and can identify these much easier through blood samples rather than urine. There are many many things that can affect the detectability of HCG in urine such as, prescription medications. There have also been a number of studies done where certain people (no identifiable marker for these people) whose Hepatic or liver systems produce antibodies that cover up the HCG markers making them undetectable through urine and make it harder to identify even through blood tests. So many variables have an effect on these specific tests, hard to rely on just one system.

It’s Probably Best Not To Rely On These Home Pregnancy Tests

With so many types and varying cancers out there, I think it’s probably best not to rely on these home pregnancy tests to rule out your fear of having cancer. There’s nothing wrong with trying to detect cancer at home with a pregnancy test kit, but please do not rely on this test alone. Even women can get false alarms with positive pregnancy test results. Even if these pregnancy tests could successfully test for Cancer every time it is only testing for a very small number of potential cancers. It would be like correctly answering the first page of a test and just not answering the rest.

The best strategy is to see a specialist. Have yourself examined for Testicular/Ovarian cancer or any kind of cancer, especially if it runs in your genes. It is also important to note that, prostate cancer can cause erection problems.

About the author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology Human Sexuality

Patrick Kriz has a Bachelor Degree (Honours) in Psychology – Human Sexuality. Patrick is a wonderful man that has a wealth of knowledge and is happy to share this with those around him. He is articulate, educated and the provider or interesting and educational writings.

Having been a regular contributor to this blog for the past couple of months he has consented to add his profile to our ever expanding list of bloggers that provide us with the great content provided to you. We thank all our contributors and authors and a special thanks to Patrick whom we deem to be an expert on all things relating to sexual wellness and adult lifestyle with quality writings. Be sure to follow Patrick on Instagram.