3 Things People Fear About Anal Sex

There’s a lot of fear when it comes to anal play and yet, there’s still much curiosity about it. I was reminded of this idea when a young straight lad came into one of the stores this evening and asked a few questions regarding anal – despite the fear there’s still an abundance of curiosity regarding this type of play. More so, as we slowly move beyond the idea that sex is purely for reproduction and instead focus on the more sex positive attitude that sex is for pleasure as well.  This article is about breaking down the fear of anal play and we will do that by first acknowledging those fears, stripping them back and then talking about the ways to engage in anal play in a safe and comfortable way.

Anal Sex’s Ick Factor

There’s the whole shit on the dick thing. We’ve all heard the story about that one time when so and so’s friend had that awful experience when it came to that one night. This fear is fairly common, and it stems from our upbringing. The studies have shown that when a small impressionable child starts curiously playing with their genitals, and they’re told that that’s a dirty thing to do – then obviously they associate that feeling with their genitals. Some people grow out of it, some do not, and as a result whether we acknowledge it or not, our relationship with sex, sexuality and our bodies stems largely from our upbringing and the way those around us deal with issues of sex.  Our relationship with anal is largely because many individuals associate it with part of the human waste system. It’s an out not an in, is a common phrase which reinforces this idea. Let’s debunk this. Unless the body is just about to pass waste, or has recently done so – then there is actually very little chance of the dreaded shit on the dick factor. The anal cavity actually has a very thorough self-cleaning system which works really well. Yes, there are some risks if you’re playing rough, or you’re dealing with long toys or dicks, but in general the risk is actually quite small. The more you know!

Anal Sex’s Gay Factor

Butt sex, ass play, has long been considered the domain of gay men. There are countless ‘help me’ articles in magazines from concerned girlfriends who are worried that they’re beautiful boy is suddenly about to turn into a drag queen because he likes a bit of finger action. I’m not too sure where this one started, but anal play is not the domain of gay men. What might even surprise you, is that there are a lot of gay men in the world that don’t enjoy anal sex.  In an article by the Journal of sexual health and medicine, a study involving 25,000 gay and bisexual identifying men, stated that over 75% of participants responded with that their most recent sexual encounter involved the receiving or giving of oral sex. Contrast that with 36% of participants responding with their most recent sexual encounter involving anal play. In fact, mutual masturbation, kissing, genital and genital contact is a far more frequent occurrence among gay men.This is actually an issue which is fading over time. As people are becoming more in tune with their bodies, more comfortable in their sexuality and their openness about sex and sexuality – the stigma about anal play is slowly being broken down. Considering that prostate play is some of the most intense orgasmic experiences that a male can feel and massaging the prostate has benefits – then there’s a lot of people missing out on great sex because they think it’s a bit gay. The thing is, that anal play is not synonymous with a sexuality.

Anal Sex’s Ouch Factor

Anal sex can hurt. In saying that, there’s usually a few very select reasons as to why it hurts. One of the main reasons as to why it hurts, is because you think it’s going to hurt.  Consider the first time that you had sex, the awkwardness of it, the way it hurt a little and the way that it might have been over in just a few minutes. Very few first times are awesome, and what happens is they might have a bad experience which tarnishes any future experiences towards anal play. What we generally find, especially with younger partners, is they might rush through anal play for the first time, and this in turn can cause discomfort. Anal sex is not like other variation of penetrative sex. It requires patience, lubricant, and a recognition that the body might take time to adjust. There’s a myriad of different factors that need to be considered, but the main one that’s often ignored – is the fear. The anxiety. Which in turn affects the body’s ability to relax and you’ll tense up and it will hurt.

Couple In Bed After Anal Photo
Buy Now | Anal Sex Toy Range

Tips for Anal Sex

Anal sex is not necessary. You’re not obligated to add it to your sexual to do list, and quite frankly, the best way to have anal sex is to want it. When you want it, when you’re curious, when you’re relaxed and able to enjoy it is the best time to have anal sex. And, if I’m being honest, when you’re horny as all hell.  This combination of things is going to make anal play so much easier.  Once you’re used to it, you’ll find it much easier to add to your routine.

Patience. Patience is necessary when it comes to anal play. The muscles are involuntary, therefore it will take time for them to adjust to having something there which is not normally so. Lubricate some, put more lubricant on, and breathe.

If you’re really worried about some mess, then you can use a douche to help prepare. But one following the instructions on a douche you will need to wait about an hour before having sex. Also, don’t use that one hour to travel to your playmates house as the water needs to dry up and could end up on your favourite underwear. Douche, wait half an hour, and then start moving.

Follow these tricks will help you in riding that pole like a pro.

Author: Stephen Smith – BA Of Social Sciences, M.EdSave

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

3 Replies to “3 Things People Fear About Anal Sex”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *