It’s All About The BDSM Collars

bdsm collar

With the rise in popularity in BDSM and wearable kink gear let’s talk about collars.

 

Collars are used for a variety of reasons in BDSM and play and it’s important to know the different meanings surrounding them. It is not unusual to pass a coworker who is wearing a subtle and discreet collar everyday and you might never know.

 

Collars aren’t exclusively used as a form of restraint, punishment or degradation.

 

Collars of consideration:

 

Often used for new relationships, a form of ownership, think of it like a stepping stone to a permanent collar between a dom/sub, master/slave etc. The training collar is as much for both parties to decide if this is the dynamic that they would each like to pursue.

 

Training Collar:

 

These collars are worn when in a dynamic when a sub or slave is being trained in the dynamic, whilst still a form and a sign of ownership and is up to the Dom/Master when the training is complete.

 

Protection Collar

 

A collar in any variant is a form of protection. A collared person is under protection of someone and etiquette should be followed accordingly. This affords the wearer the ability to be left alone by single dominants unless they have the permission of the collar’s owner to approach. This is a responsibility of the dominant or whoever is in charge of the collar is significant and should also not be taken lightly. We will go into this further down.

 

Play Collars

 

There are two ways that a play collar can be used.In terms of dynamic, this is the most relaxed form of dynamic collars, but still not simply a collar for being restrained. Play collars are collars where dynamics are enforced and utilised during kinky scenes as soon as the collar is placed around the submissive’s neck.They are helpful to prepare the mindset for the scene that is about to come. When the collar is on, the wearer is the submissive, they are in the space of a submissive and respond to the person who placed it on them as such and respect them accordingly. At the end of the play session, which doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual, and the collar comes off, this is the sign that the dynamic has finished and the rules that applied for while the collar was on, are now complete. This form of training, or boundaries can be good for people who need that added guidance, comfort, or security. Lt me circle back for a second in case anyone was confused when I said play didn’t need to be sexual. Play with a collar could be anything from sex, to impact, or or service such as waiting on a person, bringing them food or acts of service. But even, play could be going out on a date and following certain protocols and rules. The limits are endless. It is whatever you and your play partner design, but they are your rules.

 

Other play collars are actual “play” collars. The type that are used during play for playful reasons, for restraint, for tying up and leading around, for degradation and submission or pet play. These can cross over into any of the other types of collar wearing and sometimes also be a stand alone. You can like being choked or led around on a collar without being a submissive.

 

24/7 collars

 

This brings me to our permanent collars. Our 24/7 collars that are worn all of the time. These are special collars indeed and can carry many different meanings to individual dynamics. For some, a permanent collar is the equivalent of an engagement ring or a wedding ring. For some, it is ownership. What it boils down to, is that it is a promise between two people that they take each other to be trusting of each other as a Dominant and a submissive and to respect each other as thus and to follow the rules of their relationship. Again, whatever that entails depending on their unique relationship.

Some dynamics might have contracts written up. Some may have collaring ceremonies and invite friends and family to witness placing the collar around the submissive’s neck. A permanent collar cannot be placed without both parties deciding and agreeing to it.

Because these collars are permanent, and never come off there are many different alternatives that people can pick these days. Nowadays many people choose to wear collars that appear closer to necklaces so that they are able to wear them to the office or out in public daily without being noticed. Some opt for the eternity collars that are fastened with an allen key. Others can get subtle BDSM collars custom fit to enjoy the best of both worlds.

 

Collar etiquette.

 

A few things to know about someone’s collar.

It is very disrespectful to touch a person’s collar without first gaining permission, and even then only if necessary.

If a person is collared it is always wise to speak to their “Dominant first” as a show of respect.

A person wearing a collar should not remove their collar without asking their “Dominant” first.

Wearing collars can also be very fashionable, so we understand that it may be hard to know if someone is wearing one as a fashion choice or a protocol, if in doubt, ask them, or someone at the event. If the person who is wearing it doesn’t answer, that’s ok, they might not be allowed to answer. Please do not think they are being rude and press them. Move on. If their Dominant approaches, apologise and explain. But we always suggest, asking the organiser of the event first when in doubt. They will be able to vet the situation better for you.

 

Collars are a beautiful and fun way to share connections and feelings within the BDSM scene. Collared individuals feel quite proud to be owned/collared by their dominants and see it as praise and an honour to be asked about their collars.

 

At Your Service,

 

Tiffany

OhZone  Adult Shop Sales Assistant, Educator and Proudly Collared.

V² (Vulvas and Vaginas)

the vulva

An important aspect of everyday living is our health. We see it plastered everywhere. How to lose weight, which new fad diet to adhere to in the new year, the best water to drink, gym routines to follow and new and improved ways to pay attention and take care of our own mental health.

 

But sexual health is important too.

 

And yet it is rarely given as much of the limelight.

 

Sex and sexual health still often holds a stigma around it. It’s dirty. It’s taboo. It’s provocative or of loose morals. But here is the reality; sex is natural. And most people will partake, experiment and enjoy it as part of their everyday lives.

 

Which is one of the reasons awareness of sexual health is so important.

 

So today, let’s talk about Vulvas and Vaginas. How do we keep the Vulva and the Vagina healthy?

 

Here are my 5 tips for a Healthy Vulva and Vagina

 

Keep the Ph Balanced

 

The human body is a fiercely fascinating factory of infinite wisdom and workings. The Vulva and Vagina would you believe is basically self cleaning. It also is home to a host of good bacteria that are PH sensitive. Those bacteria keep your vagina and vulva thriving. This is where you want and need to stay away from scented soaps or bath products, even some of the vaginal marketed products. All you need to clean your vulva is warm water. Anything more than that can wash away the good bacteria that is keeping your vulva safe from nasties outside of your body and leave you open to infection. A very mild soap that is PH neutral, paraben free is safe to use especially after sweat intense activities and sex.

Also-douching-stop! It is not safe to douche your vagina. Again, the bacteria in your vagina is very sensitive and when you douche your vaginal canal you expel all of that bacteria leaving your precious vagina unguarded.

 

When using Lube try and use water based lubricants that are ph neutral, have no parabens or preservatives. Pjur has an outstanding range tailored for women that are just perfect for the vulva and vaginal climate.

 

WHich brings us to flavoured lubricants and sweet treats. We have all read stories or fantasised about the stories involving caramel or whipped cream at one point or another. Perhaps that is just me. Let me let you in on another secret. Sugar is not so great for the vagina or vulva conditions either. It can lead to bacterial infections, or worse, thrush. And nobody has time or patience for that. When selecting sweet treats for playing always select flavoured lubricants that contain high grade artificial sweetener such as sensuva in them. This will ensure that nothing bad will grow down there. Wicked and Jo Lubricants are some of our favourites!

 

Let them breathe.

 

Another important point to be made is that vulvas and vaginas need airflow. Restricting oxygen and airflow stifles the bacteria that we have and you guessed it, they die. We secrete sweat and the conditions down there become not very habitable. This is why leading experts often suggest wearing cotton rich underpants which promote air flow to your nether region, and why even if they aren’t cotton underpants they will often have a little cotton strip sewn into it.

 

The next best thing, other than cotton panties, is being naked. Scientific studies have long proved the benefits for sleeping naked for the body but did you know that it is also very beneficial for your vagina and vulva? Allowing the air to flow to your nether region, helps to regulate temperature, assisting in keeping you cooler as you drift off and stay asleep. The airflow also allows for the prevention of the buildup of bacteria and fungi which prevent infection and balances your PH. The term beauty sleep, is not as far fetched and made up as you may have imagined either. Sleep is when our bodies naturally heal and our cells cycle and repair themselves. The same is said for the vulva and vagina. Without the added piece of underwear stretched tightly against them gives them the unencumbered ability to heal in peace.

 

Use Safe Materials

 

Like ensuring your lubricants are utilising high quality artificial sweeteners over real caramel; making sure other materials you place inside your vagina is also very important. WHen selected toys and condoms pay attention to what they are made of before purchasing and before putting them inside your body.

 

When using vibrators, dongs and toys, try to use non porous, body safe or medical grade materials such as Silicone, stainless steel, surgical steel, glass or approved TPE or TPR. lower grade materials that are not body safe have the potential to break down and off into the body and infect the delicate environment that we have. This not only includes the solid materials but can also include the colour or dyes used in the manufacturing. Check in with our friendly staff to see about the right toys that are safest for your body when visiting our stores.

 

Know your Bits

 

Most of us use the word vulva and vagina interchangeable. Infact, most often we label a woman’s nether region her vagina. So first, a quick anatomy lesson.

 

The Vagina is the canal inside that extends up to the cervix. About 2-2.5cms inside is the G spot. Another 2 cms, when extended and aroused, is the fornix which is a cul de sac shaped pressure plate surrounding the cervix. The Anterior Fornix is better known as the A spot. The Cervix is the ridge shielded within your vagina. To see the cervix, often a speculum is needed and it is suggested that a professional inspect and examine the cervix.

 

The Vulva is the exposed section on the outside of the vagina. At the top is the Pubic mound (mons pubis) which may or may not have pubic hair. Below that is the clitoral head that protects that head of the clitoris. Further down is the urethral opening. The entrance to the Vagina is located underneath this. These are protected by the Inner Lips (labia minora) and Outer lips (labia majora)

 

 

Don’t be afraid to sit down, if you’re feeling adventurous try using a mirror and see if you can find each of the corresponding parts. Feel each part slowly. They should feel for the most part, smooth to the touch. There may be the odd small bump from a hair follicle, pimple or ingrown hair. But make sure to note any bumps and bring them to the attention of a doctor on your next visit.  Maybe you want to get a designer vagina?

 

Testing and Vaccinating

 

Keeping healthy means regular check ups with your doctor or gynecologist. If you are sexually active, the best thing you can do for your vagina and vulva is to get tested regularly. The frequency of how often you get tested for such things as STIs depend on how many sexual partners that you have, how often you have sex, whether you are fluid bonded, what methods of contraception you use and when you were last tested.

 

Many people often don’t like to get tested frequently because of the stigma or the judgment surrounding getting tested frequently. I am here to tell you that if you are made to feel uncomfortable by a physician, leave, seek a second opinion. You are doing the right and responsible thing by being tested. You are in the right. There are many Doctors Surgeries that are pro-sexual testing that will screen you without judgement. Reach out to us if you are having difficulty finding some in the Sydney Area.

 

In 2017 a new system was introduced that replaced the pap smear screening procedures for vagina’s to test for potential cervical cancer. The Cervical Screening Test or CST searches for the presence of HPV and can even detect the very early stages of cells before they have turned cancerous. This medical Advancement allows for testing to occur every 5 years instead of every 2 years.

 

From 2007 a HPV vaccination has been available to young women and men usually between 12 and 13 at school to help prevent HPV and cervical cancer. Other vaccinations such as HepA and HepB are also vital in keeping up to date for your safety and your sexual partners.

 

Vaginas and Vulvas are much like snowflakes, no two are exactly the same and each one is different and unique for their own reasons.  It is a great idea to know your own, know your partners for as much pleasure as health. As I finish I thought I would leave you with a quick word of wisdom on diets and taste. There has long been rumours on things to eat to make a pussy taste better, pineapple, cranberry and other fads. The vulva is only ever going to taste like it is meant to taste, a Vulva. They are not created to taste like flowers or candy or chocolates.

 

That being said, a good and healthy diet can assist in maintaining a better tasting “dessert”. Some sample experiments have been shown that diets rich in fried, high sodium and processed foods will give off a not so nice taste. Whereas diets that are rich in vitamins, fibre, well hydrated and well balanced will make for a much tastier meal (this goes for semen as well.) As a general rule of thumb, if your diet makes your pee or your bowels smell, it’s probably not doing your cum any favours either. Graphic yes. Helpful-very.

 

At your Service,

 

Tiffany,

OhZone Adult Shops Sales Assistant, Educator and Vulva Owner

Better sex for 2021

2021 sex

Welcome to a sexy 2021 my friends!

 

After swiping left on 2020, most of us are ready for a new chapter, a new story or a new beginning to be found in the year 2021. Although New Years may have been quiet, and that Resolutions are more often than not bothersome to say the least, why not invest your new lease on life on Sex and Intimacy!

 

Here are some sure fire ways to kick this year into the sexiest yet. These are for everyone to enjoy, whether you are single, in a relationship, celebrating love or lust from afar or experimenting.

 

  1. Work on Intimacy in and out of the bedroom.

Intimacy is not simply touch and does not simply occur in the bedroom during sexual acts. One of the biggest roots of Intimacy is simply being kind to yourself and our partners. Especially after the year we have just had. Be kind. Share in compliments. Share in treats or little gifts. Small non sexual touching can also improve and heighten intimacy as well. Learn your own, and your partner’s love languages to improve, spark and deepen intimacy.

 

The deeper your connection is, the more intense your sexual bond will be.

 

Try these Intimacy tips

  • Take the Love Languages Quiz https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ to see how you best express and accept love/intimacy

  • Write or say an intimate gratitude daily to yourself and/or a loved one “I love my smile” “I am grateful for your kisses each morning”

  • Be intentional in your touch when you say hello.

  • Bring your loved one a coffee

  • Invite them on a netflix date

 

  1. Figure out what feels good to you and do more of that.

Sex and intimacy is not always about shared pleasure. Sometimes it is important to know what you like first, either solo or together. Take this opportunity for self sexploration and lots of it. Learn how your own pleasure works, your own body. Encourage your partner to do the same. Do it alone. Do it together. Mutual masturbation can be lots of fun and very informative. Use your fingers, try some toys, experiment with lubricants and stimulants as you play.

 

Try these Feel good Tips

  • Try warming or chilling lubricants

  • Experiment with arousal oils or lubricants

  • Visit us in store for recommendations of sex toys to use.

  • Try mutual masturbation.

 

  1. Talk more with your partner or yourself regarding sexual yes’ nos and maybes.

When was the last time you thought about what you liked during sex? Have you ever done a quiz? Or written them down? How about talking them through with your partner? It can be quite a turn on not to mention an eye opener and can lead to some wondrous and arousing sexual exploits you may have never thought possible. You can easily make your own or find simple or very comprehensive ones online that can range from everyday exploits to BDSM

 

  1. Be open to teaching and learning

There is a lot that we may not know or understand in the world and the same can be said for sex and pleasure. What better way to find out than to learn. In a world with technology at our fingertips there is a lot of advice, blogs, podcasts and tutorials to explore for the open minded. Studios such as Studio Kink in Sydney offer classes both in person and online for Shibari (rope tying), impact, submissive training and events. Podcasts such as Missionary to Madame offer wonderful advice and insight into relationships sex. Books are also in the form of hard copy, e books and audio books that come with inspiring how to’s such as the The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio and the Ultimate Guide to Cunnulingus by Violet Blue which combines phenomenal how to’s with scantilising short stories.

 

  1. Stop Focusing on ORGASMS and focus on PLEASURE and what feels good. Orgasms will come. (Pun well intended)

 

SOmething I believe in and can’t promote more is Mindful Sex or Mindfu Masturbation. I like to envision it as the art of being present in the moment of pleasure, of what feels good rather than judging sex as the moment orgasm is achieved. There is too much pressure these days on achieving orgasm and as such, a dramatic decrease in people being able to have them.

All of these points 1-4 aid in realising your pleasure and assist in bettering your sex life. In being in the moment and experiencing pleasure rather trying to rush to the end and only defining sex by whether or not a orgasm happened you will experience a much more vibrant sex life that will be unrivaled to the years before hand.

 

So this year, in 2021, sit back, relax, connect, and indulge in feeling good and feeling pleasure, the connection and the orgasms will follow, and when they do, they will bring in a new year worth talking about.

 

At Your Service,

Tiffany

 

AdultlifestyleCentre Adult Shop Sales Consultant, Educator and Pleasure Defender.

Kissable, Blow Job proof lipstick

lip service

Let’s talk about lipsticks for a little bit.

 

There is something infallible and sexy about 1950s pinup red lipstick, or dark gothic pout anything really on soft plump lips as they press up against yours, bite down against your skin or seal tightly around your…

 

Sorry, imagination got away from me there.

 

My point is, lipstick is an amazing accessory on anyone who wants to wear it. Many of our wonderful customers have been asking about my lipstick lately and if it comes off during kissing and other more lucrative activities

 

What isn’t necessarily as sexy, is the smudge left over. Sure a perfect kiss mark left on your play partner’s skin in the shape of your lips is pretty hot. Smears of red up and down their body, across their face and across your own somewhat can look a little more like a crime scene or  scene from Twilight or Vampire Diaries.

 

It can be a sad and harsh reality that because of this, some people tend to forgo their hot and sexy lips to avoid the hassle. So In my travels I have found some very very promising lipsticks that stay on during the steamy make out, the sloppy kisses and leave no trace during an oral ordeal.

 

Websites often demonstrate lipsticks durability using the paper towel method, the tissue kiss or the collar transfer. We are going deeper than this. These lipsticks have been tried and tested on meals, and night outs, drinks and dinners, parties and partners and for the good of research, many kisses and extra curricular activities to ensure that you have the best advice when it comes to stay proof, smudge proof and kiss proof activities. These lipsticks, what I adore about them, is that they apply once and leave at home kind of products. No need to touch up. They last on any good girl.

 

Maybelline Super Stay Matte Ink

 

My number one all time favourite! It is accessible, it isn’t costly and it stays and stays and stays! There are so many amazing colours to choose from and this baby stays with you all through the day and the night and if you fall asleep chances are it won’t come off on your pillow while you sleep as well. Say goodbye to the awkward smears and rings on the body when you play. The trick is two layers of this bright colour but make sure each layer is dry before you apply the next.

 

Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick

 

Found at Sephora this beauty comes in the most beautiful fiery red that is sure to dazzle any retro lover. Long wearing and very kissable, this beautiful shade will get you through nearly every single kiss and scene. Unfortunately Stila is not Oral proof, but will definitely last a steamy make out.

 

LipSense -Sene Gence

 

The ultimate in stay proof everything proof lipstick. This lipstick is on another lipstick to anything I have ever tried. There is a reason this sheek and sleek addition always has a display at Sexpo and comes highly recommended. It is so “stay proof” that you need a special remove to take it off. Does that make it worth it? If you’re like me and hate Lipstick getting all over each other during scenes then yes, yes it is.

 

Mac Lip Pencil

 

Though not a lipstick, this gives a much more defined look and stays on and on and on. Because it is a pencil it is not as easy to apply in the sweeping fashion but the results are worth it as again, you will not need to retouch, so that means this stays at home when you go out. Amazing shades and choices.

 

Nyx Professional Liquid Suede Cream Lipstick

 

Another super accessible good one to know about that is relatively cheap and found everywhere in so many different colours. My biggest tip is let this one set. Thin layers and if you’re really unsure, use a hair dryer to help it set. The oils keep your lips unbelievably supple and smells amazing.

 

Tips to keep lipsticks on for longer:

  • Exfoliate lips once a week using a lip scrub to remove dead flaky skin and give a smooth even surface to work with.
  • Moisturise your lips at night with a melting lip balm or carmex to seal in nutrients and replenish your lips.
  • Don’t bite or chew on your lips.
  • Avoid using lip balms over your lipsticks, this will cause the super stay ingredients to separate their bond and run.
  • Place a thin 1ply tissue over your lipstick and dust with translucent powder to keep your lippy in place for an extra matte hold.

 

What are your favourites? Drop us your suggestions or tips to keep your lipstick on.

 

At your service.

 

Tiffany

OhZone Caringbah Adult Shop Sales Assistant, Educator and Lip Stick Fanatic.

How Stress impacts our sex life.

more sex less stress

It comes as no surprise that Australians and our world in general are experiencing an increase in stress which as a symptom can lead to many health and wellness issues.

 

Prior to COVID-19 a survey performed by the Australian Psychological Service recorded that approximately 85% of Australians reported to be affected or had felt the effects of Stress.

 

With so much uncertainty in our current world it only makes sense that our stress levels are growing even further. Stress can impact our health in many ways, physically, mentally, it can affect our concentration, our focus, our ability to produce certain neurochemicals and the list goes on.

 

But did you know that it can affect the libido and sex?

 

During COVID-19 it has been recorded through online surveys that several groups of people have noticed in either themselves or their partners that a) they have a decreased libido  or enjoyment of sex or b) have noted an increase.

 

Neurochemicals

Stress releases a hormone known as Cortisol and Epinephrine. Cortisol and epinephrine are best known for their fight and flight response, pumping adrenalin through the body and using up the neurochemicals usually for sex, to fuel this stress response. This will lead to being in a state of “on edge” and not in the good way.

 

Mind Racing

With many things happening in our minds, it can often be hard to remain present and in the moment during sex. Being present during sex assists in reaching orgasm but also with connecting with your partner. While sex has been known to relieve stress and frustration, it may not be the most intimate of experiences for all partners involved. If using sex as a way to diffuse and release frustration or pent up tension, your partner may begin to feel used, or a lack of connection.

 

Stress in men, or the stress-sex connection is common in a something you may have heard as erectile dysfunction. When a man is aroused, nerve impulses send signals that cause the blood vessels to dilate and allow a healthy and steady stream of blood to pump into the penis, causing the organ to become erect and maintain erect throughout interourse. However when the body is stressed, those nerve impulses are disrupted and the signals aren’t communicated as well causing the blood vessels to only partially dilate or sometimes not dilate at all which results in a lack of blood supply. A lack of blood supply sadly will mean either a shorter lasting erection, an erection that cannot be sustained, or a lack of an erection. This can then put pressure on the person known as performance anxiety “last time I was unable to _____” “what if this time is the same” and it becomes a vicious cycle which leads to more stress.

 

Similarly women also suffer the stress sex connection. Without the necessary arousal it will come as no surprise that most women are unable to reach orgasm when in a space of extreme stress. Without the necessary arousal, certain neurotransmitters and signals will not be activated and without those the “pleasure” centres will not be stimulated and there can be no sense of release. Without proper arousal, a cis woman’s vaginal canal will not properly elongate will could also mean that sex could be quite uncomfortable which I’m sure you could only imagine would provide yet another stress source rather than a stress release.

 

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

During these high stress times there a few things that you can do if you are in a sex oriented relationship and you have found that your libido is suffering due to stress. (note: I am not strictly referring to whether or not you are married or in a romantic relationship, you may be open, be friends with benefits, release friends- any relationship where your libido is affecting communication or mindset)

 

Talk about it: it seems simple enough, but also super scary but talking about your stress and saying that it’s really affecting you sexually can go a long way to taking some of the pressure off you and getting your partner on the same page. When they are aware that you are feeling stressed and what are some of the triggers that are causing you stress you can work towards maintaining better boundaries and being respectful around those for eg if one of your stressors is work and you explain this to your partner, then in a week when you have a big meeting, your partner may instinctively know that you will be stressed and give you some more space. Understanding and compassion and very important when it comes to dealing with stress and sex and will make a big difference .

 

Focus on other intimacies: This will mean different things for different people. Some partnerships may enjoy touch, so kiss for 20 seconds longer, hug for just that little bit extra. Acts of service may include doing the dishes, or getting them a cup of tea of coffee when they look more stressed than normal. Focusing your compassion in other ways will bring your bond closer in other ways that may ignite that spark in ways that might not start off sexual but don’t necessarily mean they won’t lead there.

 

Self love: a broad broad umbrella term for looking after yourself, make sure that you are getting some form of exercise, eating well, drinking more water and less alcohol, getting enough sunshine and taking time out for yourself. These are all extremely important in regulating stress and bringing yourself back to the present to be able to function well sexually.

 

Try masturbating: it can seem all too easy when we are stressed or depressed to get into habits of not doing things such as not cooking dinner or stopping by that fast food place on the way home. Sometimes it is important to remember that not having sex, or not masturbating can also become a habit. I am not suggesting scheduling in sexy time, just keep it on the radar. You don’t even need to masturbate until you reach orgasm, view it as a self exploration exercise, touch, explore, caress and stimulate to keep in mind that yes, my body is beautiful and hell yes, this feels good to be touched, even if just for a moment.

 

At your Service

Tiffany

Oh Zone Adult Stores Sales assistant, educator and fellow stress head.