From puberty until menopause, the menstrual cycle is a fact of life for every woman. But the monthly visit from Aunt Flo needn’t put a dampener on your sex life and menstrual sex for men can totally be on the table.
In a nutshell, all aspects of a fantastic sexual encounter can be enjoyed all month long.
Education about Menstrual Sex
Men typically don’t really understand menstruation. While their high school sexual education probably had a lot to do with that, there’s also a huge stigma surrounding the menstrual cycle.
But this is slowly changing, as the male dominated world begins to listen to others. We’re looking at you Scotland, ready to offer free tampons and pads to women of all ages. We salute you!.
Talk to your partner about having sex while on your period.
Let them know that you don’t think it needs to interrupt your sex life. And that while bleeding once a month may seem completely odd to a man, it is in fact a natural, and essential, part of life.
Demystify it for them.
In saying that, if either one of you are uneasy with sexual encounters during that time, the usual rules of consent apply. No pressure should be applied.
Preparation for Menstrual Sex for Men
As with any sexual activity, sex during periods should be clean and hygienic.
Take a shower first, both of you, and really, you could even start things off together in the shower. If showering together, maybe give her a minute or so before or after you join to look after her intimates.
Lay a towel down on your bed. It’s far easier to clean than having to change the sheets. Strongly suggest against white towels here.
Intimacy
Above any of the below options the easiest, and possibly nicest, is simply to be intimate together. Kisses, cuddling, hand grips of wanton lust, even dry humping through clothes, are all amazing choices to kick things off with.
Or even be the all and everything. Sex doesn’t always mean penetration, nor should it be the end all and be all of sexual activity.
Handiwork
Hands can touch, tickle and stroke every inch of a body.
Gentle strokes along a back, a heavy hand gripping hips, not to forget breasts and their wondrous punctuation, nipples. And of course, the clitoris.
Educate yourself by checking out the biology of a woman’s sexual organs, and you’ll find that the clitoris (the external part) is miles from her vaginal opening. Keep your focus here, she’ll probably prefer it anyway.
Oral Sex
Cunnilingus is always on the table. Even at ‘that time of the month’.
As mentioned above, the clitoris is a perfectly safe distance from any possible flow. You could even relish her labia majora, her outer lips. Or should you both feel comfortable enough, even her inner lips, the labia minora.
Listen to her directions, if you can hear through her thighs pressed against your ears. Devour her, savour her, let her know you’re man enough to handle a little potential blood.
Worship all that a woman is and let her know how amazing and gorgeous she is to you with nothing but your tongue.
Penetrative Sex
A period most definitely doesn’t mean that penetrative sex is off the table.
It just takes a little preparation. Both of you shower beforehand, lay down a towel, and enjoy the extra lubrication nature has provided this week.
If the bleeding really is a concern for either of you, there are heaps of ways around this. The most common one is to keep sex within the constrains of a shower.
Shower sex is great as the clean up is far easier, regardless of the time of month, and that rushing water is such an aphrodesiac.
If having sex in the shower
Make sure you use silicone based lube, as it’s far more resistant to washing away. Look to fantastic brands like Super Slyde or Pjur Original. Somehow, despite all that water, shower sex can really dry a vagina out.
So lube is always a great idea.
To avoid being one of the nearly quarter million Americans admitted to emergency every year from falling in the shower, maybe invest in some Sex In The Shower suction cup handles and footrests.
Nothing will kill the mood quicker than a concussion. Trust me.
If you much prefer to lay down in your bed for sex
As mentioned above, a non white towel will be your best friend. On top of this, you could look at wearing a sponge.
Working women live by themso they can work all month long. And given the texture of a sponge, most people would never suspect that one is being worn.
Condoms should always be used to prevent the spread of STIs, especially since a menstruating woman is more susceptible to STIs. But if the man is wearing one simply to not get blood on his penis, it offers no protection from the blood that absolutely will gather on his scrotum.
It should also be noted that period sex should not be used as contraception.
Sperm can live for up to five days inside of the uterus. Should you have light periods or have intercourse towards the end of your cycle, it is still possible to fall pregnant.
Solo Play
As mentioned above, the clitoris and labia are all fair game during menstruation.
Using an insertable sex toy also follows along previous guides. If looking for self love in the shower, look no further than a completely waterproof and submersible toy like the Fun Factory Stronic G.
Although if you’re going to use a good quality silicone lube, look towards a 100% silicone toy by Evolved or Adam & Eve. Their toys are silicone lube friendly.
In the bedroom, you can always roll a condom over your favourite insertable toy to ease cleaning.
Although using an antibacterial sex toy cleaner will do the trick just as well. Something you should be using before and after every toy use regardless of the timing.
Menstruation need not be the killer of a sex life.
Be safe, be hygenic, and with a little preparation, you can enjoy a healthy sex life all month long.
The Secrets Behind Period Sex
My head feels foggy and I feel sick yet want to eat everything in sight. Any desire for sex is nowhere to be seen. My emotions are chaotic and what I want more than anything in the world is to curl up in a ball and sleep until the end of time.
Before you ask.
No I did not drink any alcohol last night! I am perfectly well and healthy but I am a woman. These experiences can be a somewhat common occurrence on the days leading up to my period.
I see it as perfectly ok & as best as I can will completely honour my need to rest and nourish my body.
This has not always been the case.
Years ago, when I would experience pre-menstrual symptoms, I would have pushed through these feelings. Expecting the same output of energy in order to get through my days.
This ultimately resulted in some pretty awful consequences including lots of angry outbursts to the people around me and feeling completely exhausted.
My period pain would have remained with my hidden sex secrets.
Many women I speak with are unaware of the different phases that occur during their cycle.
I believe this is such a shame as this knowledge can eradicate much of the confusion and emotional disturbances that are often experienced by women.
Societies awareness of and openness with the menstruation cycle is significantly greater than previous generations. But I still see that there is a long way to come in terms of how we relate to this process that occurs monthly for most women.
Four Distinct Phases of the Menstrual Cycle
Menstruation
This occurs when the broken-down lining of the uterus flows out through the vagina. Menstruation generally lasts from three to seven days. Some women regularly have periods that are shorter or longer than this.
The length can also differ from one cycle to the next. In addition to blood, menstrual fluid is made up of several components including endometrial cells, cervical mucus and vaginal secretions.
The amount of menstrual fluid lost varies between women and from one cycle to the next. But a woman generally loses about 50-100ml of fluid each time she has a period.
Follicular Phase
During this phase, the pituitary gland releases follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). This causes between 10 and 20 follicles (cells that contain immature eggs, known as ova) to begin developing in the ovary.
They produce the hormone oestrogen, which causes the lining of the uterus (endometrium) to become thick in preparation for the possible embedding of a fertilised egg.
Usually, only one follicle develops into a mature egg. This follicle moves towards the surface of the ovary, while the others break down and are reabsorbed by the body.
A follicular phase begins on the first day of menstruation and ends with ovulation. It can vary considerably in length, depending on the time of ovulation.
Ovulation
The term ‘ovulation’ refers to the release of a mature egg from the ovary. During the follicular phase, the rise in a woman’s oestrogen levels causes gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) to be released from her brain.
This in turn causes the pituitary gland to produce increased levels of luteinising hormone (LH). The abrupt rise in LH, known as the LH surge, triggers ovulation.
Following ovulation, the egg is swept into the fallopian tube and moved along towards the uterus. If fertilisation does not occur, the egg disintegrates within 6-24 hours.
Luteal Phase
During this phase, the remnants of the follicle that released the egg (now called the corpus luteum) release large amounts of the hormone progesterone as well as some oestrogen.
These hormones contribute to the further thickening and maintenance of the uterine lining. If fertilisation does not occur, the corpus luteum breaks down and progesterone levels decline. Leading to the disintegration of the uterus lining.
During the luteal phase, women may experience physical and emotional changes including tender or lumpy breasts, fluid retention, bloating, mood swings, tiredness or anxiety.
Menstruation cycle is an extremely complex process
Women need to be respectful and understanding of their bodies for going through this every month.
Sexuality, sexual desire & relationships can be notably affected by the menstrual cycle. With women and their partners benefiting greatly from knowing where they are at in their cycle.
In order to have greater compassion and understanding of what is occurring for the woman (i.e. emotions, desires).
It doesn’t matter what feng shui sex secrets you may think you know it will not make a difference.
During a womans period, some people will choose to not be sexual with their partners for different reasons. Some may believe it to be unclean.
Others do not like the feeling of having sex when they may be experiencing an increase in pain or sensitivity.
Sex during menstruation is not unclean but can be messy if certain precautions are not taken. I would recommend getting outdoors or in the shower for some lovemaking during this monthly period if the mess part is an issue.
Sex can be great for easing menstrual cramps
Many women even claiming they have the highest sex drive when they are bleeding. Everyone is unique and it is important for every woman to get to know her body and what it likes.
Intimacy does not need to cease just because intercourse may not be desired during menstruation.
Connecting with your partner during this time may mean kissing, touching and massaging one another. Feel into what you or your partner’s body desires and communicate this clearly.
Safety is paramount.
Be mindful that certain contact with the menstrual blood of a women period whose sexual health status is unknown increases the risk of sexually transmitted infection and blood-borne virus transmission.
Many women will report an increase in sexual desire after menstruation in the time leading up to ovulation.
A perfectly easy way to understand the reason for this is that the days leading up to ovulation is when a woman is the most fertile. Her body is made to want to conceive a baby hence orgasms are more easily attained.
She may feel more extroverted and her desire for sex is high.
Enjoy this time but know that the chance of conceiving a child is in this period is greatest. If a child is not on the cards for you & your partner, take precautions to minimise the chance of unwanted pregnancy.
After ovulation, there is a dip in sexual desire for many women.
It is not uncommon for them to experience times of intense emotions and uncomfortable physical symptoms.
Often this may mean that sex is the last thing on a woman’s mind.
Women need to be kind & patient to themselves and should expect the same treatment from their partners. Instead of projecting emotion onto your partner, let them know what you’re feeling.
Take some time out for yourself if needed.
Sex can be a great way to connect with your partner if the desire is there. Just ensure that desire is there for both of you.
A woman becoming aware of her menstrual cycle can be a really great way of predicting best times to participate in certain activities
I personally would never participate in a marathon on the first day!!!. It gives her a chance to have a closer connection with her body and the incredible process it goes through every month.
It’s also amazing for partners to understand what is happening to their woman as best as they can.
This way, among other things, you’ll know when bringing home dark chocolate and red wine is going to be most appreciated!!
Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing
Explore Stephanie Curtis’s profound insights! A caring sexologist, she delves into spirituality, tantra with professional, articulate, interesting articles.