Never Lose To The Seven Year Itch

From our birth onwards we simply desire contentment. We want happiness and a happy life.  This is especially true when we get married and enter into a new relationship. We are human beings and the human species on this planet earth wish to have a joie de vivre and we make every effort to attain it. I don’t know about extraterrestrials, perhaps they may be visiting planet earth in their flying saucers just to find the thing called happiness. (We must ask Steven Spielberg about it….!)

After marriage both the partners are in the pursuit of happiness. There is a supreme dedication for one another as a thorn may prick at the sole of a husband and tears appear in the eyes of his wife. Every kind of happiness and every kind of suffering is related to the mind and body. The impact is both mental and physical. Between the body and mind, it is our mind which is primarily related to the sentiment of happiness. The body is secondary. If the body is content we even ignore its existence.

Sexual activity is a physical one and thus the body is content in the initial stage of marriage. The touch, the friction of skin, the sexual attraction for each other’s erogenous zones and the building of fire and subsequent lustful crescendo, ending into a lethargic ambiance of relaxation and blissed out state of existence overtakes the honeycombs of the inner core. However the mind is fluid, and when the mind overtakes the body the turmoil begins. The mind of a woman is differently wired as emotion overtakes practicality. It registers every detail, however small it is. Then the result is joy if the detail is cheerful, or agony if the detail is painful.

During the first few years of marriage everything seems rosy and heavenly but once the novelty wanes out the difference of opinions between two partners crop up. The activities are loved by both people at the beginning become abhorred at a later stage. As the saying goes, it is the seven years itch.

How To Deal With The Seven Year Itch

The question then arises as to how to deal with such a situation.  The research has shown that if you happen to be charitable, philanthropic and bountiful than you emanate that quality of happiness. When I say be charitable, you don’t have to shell out money to be charitable. As the saying goes, charity begins at home. You have a heart. Open it up.  Bestow your love. Be compassionate towards others. When we understand that everyone in this world encounters suffering in one or the other way, our own problems become realistic and the obstacles don’t look unattainable. What is required is few soothing words instead of clashes of the ego. With a few sweet words from the bottom of the heart and a broken heart starts healing itself.

Unhappy long term relationship
Image: Dating Problems

The Importance Of Interdependence

However capable an individual may be, if he or she is left alone he or she is sure to diminish. A support system is a fundamental requirement of human beings and it is a vital part between two adults who are wedded to each other. It is interdependence. The whole of the universe is an example of how it has come to evolve to its present form is because of interdependence. From the planet to the space, oceans, mountains, forests, the flora and fauna, even the garden around your house, to the tiny world of insects all are entwined together. If they don’t interact they will decay, dissolve and die.

Therefore, be interdependent. Interact. Develop a sense of compassion. Believe in the relationship, companionship and camaraderie. They are hard to come by. When the promise of a relationship and friendship breaks, there is no noise. What remains is silence. Eerie silence. Unbearable silence pleading for communication that is asking for interdependence. If that is done you will feel special and loved.

It is of prime importance that we try to have mental tranquillity. This peace fullness and understanding of each other’s flaws is very vital between husband and wife because it is a union of two imperfect human beings.

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Adultsmart’s blog is proud to announce the newest expert Dr. Satish Bendigiri to our blogging team.

Dr. Bendigiri holds a Ph.D , MBA, M.Com, B.Com, DPM and has corporate experience relating to human resources and public relations. He was a Director at Deogiri Institute of Technology and Management Studies, Aurangabad of Maharashtra State, and was also a Professor at Bharati Vidyapeeth Deemed University, Pune. He currently works as a freelance consultant. He writes passionately about love, marriage and growing together.

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