Dealing with Infidelity

Cheater in Bedroom

When I was younger I thought that if any partner ever cheated on me then that would be it. Over! Finito! I also thought I would never cheat on anyone, ever, ever, ever. One time though I got particularly drunk at a party and kissed someone behind my boyfriend’s back.  I was absolutely mortified, with myself. I was so racked with guilt and remorse. I cried all the next day about what I had done.

Now there was no way on earth my boyfriend of a year and a half and my  first love would ever have found out about it but I was so inconsolable my mum asked what was wrong, when I told her she just said, you are being silly, just forget about it and make sure you  don’t ever tell him …so of course, I stopped crying and called him immediately.  Anyway, long story short, that was the stupidest thing I could have done. the trust was gone between us and even though he forgave me, he completely didn’t forgive me in the slightest. The lesson here is not only to always listen to your Mum, but also that being unfaithful can happen to anyone and can have different outcomes depending on how you deal with it.

Did you know most marital affairs don’t actually end in divorce?

They can end up making your bond stronger. In some relationships the stakes can be really high so it is important not to react like I did but maybe step back and examine why it happened in the first place. For instance had I accepted my betrayal may be down to bottle of vodka I had consumed, I may have acted differently.  Keeping it to myself and learning the lesson that doing bad things makes me feel bad would have produced a better outcome.

What is cheating?

What constitutes cheating to one might not be the same for the other. While I might think actually having sex is cheating someone else might think sending someone a rude selfie or creating a secret email is enough. It is actually the betrayed person’s views on this that are most important. If you feel that your partner has betrayed you then it is really  up to you to think about what you can do to make the partnership work.

Frustated Man
Photo: Dealing with Infidelity – Angry Man

How do you move forward from being cheated on?

The main thing is whatever has come between you, even if it’s a 30 year long affair, it doesn’t have to be the end, as I mentioned it usually isn’t. It feels like the worst thing in the world at the time. Most people would rate it as one of life’s most traumatic events. However  there is always the opportunity to turn a negative into a positive and learn something from what has happened, understand why cheating happens and improve the relationship. It can sometimes even be the case that the very fact you have both survived such an awful thing makes you stronger.   It is good to remember most affairs end. The secrecy and naughtiness is undoubtedly intoxicating and can make you feel so alive, but people are all human and come with baggage that eventually will reveal itself. its easy to get blindsided and choose only  to see the things you want to see. It is easy to be the best person you know you can be on a part time basis.

When you are on the receiving end of a betrayal it can make you begin to doubt everything and question things you previously took for granted. It is important to remember that this happens to so very many people and while you might be thinking

‘How could this happen to me?’

It can be comforting to know that  because it is so common there is a ton of help out there. Even if you are not the type to seek help ordinarily, This is one time when you’re thinking probably isn’t straight and a bit of outside perspective can be  a game changer. It is great to have the emotional loving support of friends, but they can often see things in black and white and influence your thinking . Sometimes it can be best to keep what has gone on to yourself or even stick to confiding in the type of people that believe that anyone can make a mistake.

If you do decide to make a go of things again then it is going to take time. You can’t just suddenly return to how you were and if it takes a lot longer than you think it is going to then that is normal. there are going to be all sorts of things that come up and rather than throwing the towel in you have to try not to focus on bad events and focus more on whether the relationship is making progress positively in general. It is like going through a breakup. You get over it when you get over it.  Trust is such a hard thing to win back and true forgiveness happens in its own time you can’t force it.

The way to come back from an affair successfully is for both parties to self examine, and acknowledge the part played in what happened. Dwelling on the wrongs that have been done isn’t helpful. Forgiveness is something that has to be authentic and complete. You won’t ever forget of course, nor should you. Learn from the affair,  If we were all the people we become in an affair, we wouldn’t want them in the first place.

Author: Emily is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

The Cheating Housewife!

Wife Cheats on Husband

As a sexpert on adultsmart blog, be warned to buy your wife flowers on mothers day and pay more attention to her. This is a anonymous letter we received from one of our blog readers:

Opening the Mother’s Day card a year ago from my husband David my heart sank. We’d been married for over 10 years, and I was the mother of his kids yet he hadn’t even thought to purchase me some flowers or anything. From reading the short writing on the card, he had made a small attempt as this really frustrated me as it was not the first time it had happened. I was scared of becoming a house wife whose husband would never buy her anything special. I saw on television a story on the news about peoples husbands who would cheat on their wife with prostitutes. The men said

“using prostitutes saved my marriage”

and the prostitutes were receiving very expensive gifts. They were receiving Chanel, Gucci and Tiffany products, which I had never received from my husband – how unfair.

The entire run-up to Mother’s Day had been disappointing. It made me feel old and like I was losing my sexiness. My marriage was trapped in an endless cycle. We’d gotten together when I was fresh out of college. Things were incredible at first however they began to come apart when our children arrived. David is just 34, but acts like he is in his 80’s — he’s always irritable, drained and unmotivated. We have sex about once a week however I never climax and it’s like he simply makes

‘just enough’ effort.

The day after Mother’s Day this year, I set up a profile on Tinder.

I’d had a bit to drink and was feeling mischievous, so I wrote about how I was a busty brunette looking to have an unsanctioned romance. Within minutes, I had matched with a few men, including a man called Michael who had a wife and five children. He was 42, a Doctor and his marriage was significantly more useless than mine by what he was saying. He wasn’t sleeping with his wife at all.

Flower Present
Sexy Novelties and Games

I met him a week later for lunch, at a cafe about 40 minutes away from each of our homes. We wound up having a lots of fun, drinking wine, and getting to know each another. We continued to message each other, and met up again for coffee. Two weeks later we ended up under the covers of a bed in a Hotel room. It was romantic and lovely, he’d had flowers and champagne set up in the room before I arrived. The sex was extremely close and enthusiastic however despite everything I never orgasmed. Truth be told, I never have. However the second and third go I think I came closer to one than I ever had before.

Despite the fact that it was a major thing for me to have an affair I didn’t feel like I was doing the wrong thing. I finally felt alive and I was feeling sexy again – my husband had lost interest. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my closest friends. It felt great keeping the secret and mystery all to myself. I also felt like a better mother, because I wasn’t as frustrated at home or with David.  He could be awkward and moody whilst I breezed through feeling sex and desired.

Thing’s got a little more interesting late last year with Michael as we delved into a bit of bondage play, I found out that I love to be being blindfolded. Michael and continued to meet up for sex about once a month for six months, but after a while he began to go missing on me, cancelling last minute and giving me excuses. After 6 months of sleeping together, i had developed passionate feelings for him. I never let him know, because I knew that despite the affair, his wife and children were what mattered to him. Inevitably, we stopped seeing each other.

After Michael, I have since met and had affairs with two other men because of my profile On Tinder, and I’m currently talking online with a couple of other guys. David and I, despite everything are still married and continue to have sex once a week. The sex with David hasn’t made any improvement, but now that I have my other relationships, it doesn’t trouble me as much. If I have gained anything from these affairs and the whole experience, it has taught me that mothers need to spoil themselves and have more fun, and if they aren’t getting it at home, they should get it somewhere else! I don’t feel like a bad wife for cheating, if anything, cheating on my husband has made me a better wife.

My HotWife is Cheating On Me!

I’ve been getting cuckolded for around a year now. I’m 30, my wife is 26, and we’ve been married for a long time. My wife is a very sex lady, a real HotWife and is constantly getting hit on whether I’m with her or not. I never say anything in regards to it and simply sit there and quietly give it a chance to happen at whatever point it does. Regularly I’ll be rubbing my thickening dick through my pocket as it goes on.  But what my wife doesn’t know, is that I know, she is cheating on me!

At any rate, my wife uses the same password for everything she uses. Whether its her email, facebook or her chat log in details the password is all the same. Now and again I like to snoop on her to check whether I can discover anything intriguing about her interests. Around 8 months ago I logged into her facebook to try to find out what she liked in her life and what was happening around her. One day, I logged onto her facebook and she began chatting to someone named Colin. Colin was a man she regularly meet up with to have coffee and lunch.

HotWife Email Account
Wifes Password

Going back through the conversation it appears they had been seeing each other for a considerable length of time. My wife only told me in the past couple of months that she was seeing him and they met on the Ashley Madison cheating website. I kept reading their chat history and found that such a large amount of what they did together was all recorded. She never tried to clear the chat history so I assumed that she liked to re-read what they had written to each about and been through together. It turns out, they had been doing everything together including going to bars to have kissing sessions, publicly hooking up, she’ll send him dirty picture’s of her all the time.

Her lingerie was beautiful and sensual, any person would be exceptionally happy to have these pictures. Yet, she definitely never sent me any dirty pictures for as long as we had been together. I haven’t even seen this lingerie in our house that we have lived together in. When she’s around me she’s always relaxed and never really wanting to have sex, yet when she’s with him she becomes this whole other person I never get to see anymore. In their messages she talk’s about how big his penis is, all that she’s going to do with him, and all that she has done with him.

I’ve since gotten dependent on keeping an eye on her cheating, and I have a consistent history now of what’s happened, and even when things are going to happen. They both seem to be more inclined to have cyber sex, so I’m really fortunate there. At whatever point I know she’s with him, or going to be with him, I put on her bra, undies, and pantyhose and jerk off to their talk log. I figure since she’s now undermining what was my pussy and ass, I may as well go the distance with it.

I’d never give up to her that I know, in light of the fact that she truly appears to get off on betraying my trust and double-crossing me, and that I’m a confused mug about the entire thing. I wouldn’t have any desire to break that for her. She’s even gotten off on having me go down on her directly after she has been out with him and so obviously fucked. He must get an immense laugh out of that (Colin said that is one of the best parts of it in his writings to her).

Gracious yes, they’ve likewise been fantasizing about some way or another setting up somehow where I happen to meet him after they’ve fucked. He said something in regards to needing to shake my hand when it’s still crisp with their fuck juice,.

She wrote something like “I’d like to kiss him with your cum in my mouth”.

Cuckold Jerking off
Cuckold Wearing Skirt

In any case, she’s out of the house at this moment, so I think I’m going to go put on a skirt and rehash all this and when they began playing around while I pull my dick and cum all over myself.  I really get off on knowing my wife doesn’t know that I know she is cheating on me.


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