What Was The Biggest Dick Ever

The biggest dick ever recorded, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, the longest penis ever measured belonged to Jonah Falcon.


John Falcon is an American actor and writer, whose penis was reported to be 13.5 inches (34.3 cm) in length when erect.

Although the Guinness Book of World Records does not have a “biggest dick” category he has been the unofficial holder for almost 2 decades.

His impressive penis size gained attention after appearing as Falcon in the 1999 HBO documentary Private Dicks: Men Exposed. 

Then his fame skyrocketed when Rolling Stone wrote a feature about him in 2003 titled, “Mr. Big: Jonah Falcon’s Giant Penis Problem.”ory, the Falcon, whose cock stands at 13.5 inches erect, has been the untitled rec

His fame and popularity have always centered around his penis size but more recently.  He has tried to focus on being an actor, caregiver and family man.

Rasputins Penis Was 12 Inches


The story of Rasputin’s dic has grown beyond the pot it is stored in. After being cut from his body, his penis was worshiped as a fertility talisman.  That cured impotence and used in secret rituals. Rasputin is said to have been shot, poisoned, beaten and drowned on December 30, 1916.

His 12-inch pickled phallus is now on display at the Museum of Erotica in Russia.

His manhood was cut off at the behest of Prince Felix.  The penis was then picked up and kept him on ice by his servents.  It was then taken to France by some of his followers and zealots.   It was preserved on ice and only released for strange, special and sacred ceremonies.

Finally, Dr. Knyazkin bought it from two French antique dealers and it is now exhibited it at the First Russian Erotique Museum in Petersburg in 2000.

The Biggest Dick Ever
Huge Elephant Dick


The penis of a male elephant is so big that it can even be used as its fifth leg. Elephants have penises that can grow up to 150 cm (59 in). In addition, the elephant can also use it to tickle flies or its belly.

Even though the bull elephant really knows how to use the size of his penis to good effect.  It is by no means the largest penis of a living being on the earth at the moment.  That prize goes to the blue whate.


The reproductive organs of the blue whale are proportional to its large size, which can be up to thirty meters long. The penis of the animal is on average 2.4 meters long. Each testicle weighs on average 55kg, which corresponds to the weight of a porpoise.

The Museum of Phallology of Iceland contains part of the penis of a 170 cm long, 70 kilogram (150 lb) blue whale, dubbed “the real Moby Dick” by Iceland Review. The specimen is only the tip.  The entire body would have been about 5 meters long and weighed about 350– 50 kilograms (770–990 lb).  Above average even for a blue whale.

The featured image of this article is a picture of the dried tip of the blue whale known as ‘Moby Dick’.


The Ostracod

EXTINCT –  It is only a slight exaggeration to say that the male ostracod is mostly a penis.  The anatomical picture shows that the shrimp devotes more body cavities to its reproductive function than almost any other system. This device is controlled by an organ.  The authors of the journal Nature call

“a large muscular sperm pump”.

The crustaceans known as ostracods or seed shrimp. This is a test of the theory of sexual selection.  Essentially a subset of natural selection, Darwin’s evolutionary mechanism. The paper concludes that the ostracod species that developed the largest male reproductive organs went extinct.   10 times faster than any other species on Earth.


Some deep-sea squids,  which have penises larger than their actualir bodies. Sometimes the length of the penis can be twice the length of the squid’s body. One such Kalmar measured 68 cm (26 in) in penis, but only 38 cm (14 .9 in) in body length.

The Duck (Oxyura Vittata)

Has a penis up to twice as long as its body growing up to 43.5cm long when the average duck body size is 20cm.  The duck has a corkscrew shaped penis. Most male birds do not have penises – they mate by briefly touching their genitals, called a “cloacal kiss”.

Speculation suggests that giant penises may be an example of “runaway” sexual selection, where female preference is the driving force. male anatomy always to greater extremes, as in the tail of a peacock.. The species is

“robust and vigorous in sexual activity”,

which means that competition for ducklings is likely to be fierce.

Biggest Dicks Ever
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9 Funny Real-Life Penis Stories You Won’t Believe

Are you ready to laugh out loud and indulge in some hilarious Real-Life Penis Stories? From awkward moments at the doctor’s office to unexpected surprises in public places.  These stories are sure to make you giggle, cringe, and maybe even sympathize.

From the biggest dick or whether you’re a man or a woman, we all know that penises can be a source of both pleasure and embarrassment.

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The one that got away – a funny fishing story

One beautiful summer day, a group of friends decided to go fishing at a nearby lake. Everything was going great until one of the guys felt a tug on his line. He started reeling it in, but the fish was putting up quite a fight.

Suddenly, the line snapped, and the fish went flying through the air. It didn’t land in the water. Instead, it landed right on top of his friend’s lap, who happened to be wearing shorts. The fish flopped around for a few seconds before they were able to pry it off. Needless to say, it was a memorable fishing trip.

A few days later, the friend who had the fish land on his lap noticed that his penis was starting to itch. He assumed it was just a bug bite or something, but the itching persisted. He went to the doctor, who took one look and burst out laughing.

Turns out that the fish had left behind some scales and slime that had gotten stuck on his penis. A few days of washing and a round of antibiotics cleared it up, but he learned his lesson to always wear pants while fishing.

A wild ride – a humorous tale of a rollercoaster mishap

One couple decided to celebrate their anniversary by going to a theme park and riding all the rollercoasters. They were having a blast until they got to the tallest and fastest one in the park.

As soon as they reached the top, the woman felt something hit her in the face. She looked down to see her husband’s penis flopping around. It turns out that the force of the ride had caused his pants to come unzipped, and his penis had popped out.

They quickly got off the ride, trying to keep a low profile, but the damage had already been done. The ride operators and several other park-goers had noticed what happened. Needless to say, they didn’t ride that rollercoaster again.

The birthday surprise – a comical birthday experience

One guy wanted to do something special for his girlfriend’s birthday. He decided to surprise her with a special cake. He went to the bakery and requested a cake with a picture of his penis on it.

The baker, being a professional, didn’t bat an eye and made the cake exactly as requested. The guy was thrilled and took the cake to his girlfriend’s party. When he presented it to her, she was mortified. Everyone at the party was laughing and taking pictures of the cake.

Needless to say, the guy didn’t get the reaction he was hoping for and learned that not all surprises are good ones.

The unexpected proposal – a funny proposal gone wrong

One guy thought he had come up with the perfect proposal idea. He took his girlfriend on a hot air balloon ride and planned to pop the question when they reached the highest point.

Everything was going great until the wind picked up and started blowing them off course. They ended up landing in a field, where a group of cows were grazing. As they were packing up the balloon, one of the cows got a little too friendly and started licking the guy’s crotch.

His girlfriend couldn’t stop laughing, and he was too embarrassed to go through with the proposal. They ended up getting engaged a few weeks later in a more traditional manner.

The embarrassing gym mishap – a gym experience gone awry

One guy was at the gym, trying to impress a girl he had a crush on. He was doing some squats when he felt his pants rip. He quickly tried to cover up, but it was too late. His penis had popped out, and everyone in the gym had noticed.

To make matters worse, the girl he was trying to impress was standing right in front of him.   He didn’t get a date with her, and he learned the importance of wearing proper gym attire.

The mistaken identity – a hilarious case of mistaken identity

One guy was at a bar, minding his own business, when a group of women approached him. They were giggling and whispering among themselves, and he assumed they were interested in him. She asked if he wanted to go back to their place, and he eagerly agreed.

When they got there, they led him to the bedroom and started undressing him. It was at that point that they realized he wasn’t the guy they thought he was. They had mistaken him for their friend, who had a similar hairstyle and build. The guy was mortified, but the women found it hilarious.

They ended up having a good laugh and he was sent on his way.

The awkward family gathering – a funny family reunion story

One guy was at a family reunion when he decided to take a dip in the pool. He was swimming around when he felt something tug on his swimsuit. He assumed it was just a snag and kept swimming.

A few minutes later, his cousin approached him and whispered in his ear that his penis was hanging out. He quickly got out of the pool and tried to cover up, but everyone had already seen.

It was an awkward family gathering, and he learned the importance of checking his swimsuit before jumping in the pool.

The workplace blunder – a humorous office mishap

One guy was at work, trying to fix the printer. He was leaning over it, trying to see what was wrong, when his pants split. His penis popped out, and his female coworker walked in at that exact moment. She was shocked and didn’t know what to do. The guy quickly covered up, and they both pretended like nothing had happened.

It was a tense atmosphere for the rest of the day, and he learned the importance of wearing proper work attire.

Funny Penis Stories
Royalty Free Pexels – Ivan Samkov

The camping catastrophe – a comical camping experience

One guy was on a camping trip with his buddies. They were all sitting around the fire, drinking and telling stories when one of them suggested they go for a swim. They all stripped down and ran into the lake. After a few minutes, they started to notice that something was off. It turns out that they had accidentally swam into the women’s side of the beach.

A group of angry women started yelling at them and throwing rocks. One of the rocks hit the guy in the crotch, causing him to double over in pain. They quickly got out of the water, and they all learned the importance of checking the signs before going for a swim.

These real-life penis stories may be funny and entertaining, but they also serve as a reminder that embarrassing moments can happen to anyone. Whether it’s at the gym, the office, or a family gathering. Be aware of your surroundings and to wear appropriate clothing.

These stories also show that laughter can be the best medicine, even in the most embarrassing situations. So the next time you have an awkward moment involving your penis, just remember that it’s all part of the human experience.

It’s okay to laugh it off.

10 Of The Biggest Dick Stories Ever Told!

Penises, especially big ones, have been a source of curiosity since…well, since forever. And it’s for a good reason. Finding them is no easy feat.

Whether you’re a woman or man (with a smaller appendage), there must be a point in your life when you gasped or looked on helplessly as a guy with a massive wiener handled his goods.  If not, but you’re wondering how people in that situation handled it.

Here are some hilarious biggest dick stories from people who are brave enough to share their experience with the world.


There’s a belief that tall guys with big feet no doubt have a huge penis. Though science debunked this myth as false, who’s to say that there aren’t guys with the goods and feet in bulk?

The dude in this story is one of those chosen few. When he approached an individual working in a shoe store, the lass was well aware of the common belief and used it as a joke. Little did they know, once they and the guy started dating and got into the sack, that it was ACTUALLY TRUE!

The monster appendage was at least 11 inches and, after painful sex, the dick owner bragged about it to his partner.


Get this: You go have drinks with your friend, he brings a friend, and the atmosphere is great. However, when it gets to the pissing part and you all have to go at once you realize that your friend’s buddy has one heck of a dick!

It’s so huge that he handles it with both hands as he pees.

Would you, as a guy, be scared or jealous?


After months of flirting, a college guy invites a girl to his home for some close time.  Once the clothes are off and sexual pleasure is at its peak, the girl tries getting the dick into her mouth but she couldn’t!

As for sex, the lass narrowly escaped a painful drilling as only the tip fit inside her.


One-night stands are great, but the girl in this story got an extra serving.   When she reached out to jerk him off in the dark, his penis was so massive that she thought she was handling his forearm.

Even funnier, dude was so huge that he almost injured the poor girl.


Sex with a guy who’s got a giant wiener is bound to be painful.  It’s annoying and frustrating when the guy doesn’t know his footlong appendage is killing you!

After a year of being together, the lass in this tale showed the guy the door and never looked back.


It’s one thing when a guy has a big dick. Totally another when it can’t stay in his partner’s mouth.

After trying hard to fit it into her mouth, his girlfriend gave up and it dropped with a loud slapping sound.


The guy in this story was also tall and heavily loaded. His religion didn’t stop him from getting some good lean’ fun.

Though he and the chick who told this story didn’t hit things off.  She got a chance to see and touch it during their jerk off sessions in closets.

And man was it massive! At least 10 inches in length.


Is it normal for a giant dickhead to have an 11-inch penis?

Well, the guy here was an ass and had quite a log, which is great. I think.


It’s every girl’s dream to hook up with her crush from a reality show. When the girl here got the chance, she didn’t expect a massive wiener to be part of the package. She choked on her coffee when her TV crush sent her a dick pic.

Though they didn’t ever meet, that dick is always on her mind.


While chilling on a nude beach in Hawaii for a couple of months, a girl got more than a view of well-chiseled studs on the beach.   She spotted a guy with a huge penis who wasn’t afraid of strutting his stuff.

He loved the attention he was attracting and even smiled as he flaunted his monster cock.

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