Being Smart about Fluid Bonding

bonding with fluids

Fluid Bonding is a term that is gaining more traction in today’s society alongside polyamory, open relationships and consent. So what does it mean?

 

Fluid bonding is the intentional decision between parties/people where they decide to share bodily fluids. This decision can be made for many reasons ranging from person to person and it is important to have these conversations as to why to ensure that you and the people/s are on the same page. Some of the reasons may be for emotional connection, serious involvement, a step in a relationship, ownership, BDSM or fetish.

 

Fluid bonding is a serious subject because sharing body fluids comes at great risk. Bodily fluids such as saliva, semen, vaginal discharge and blood can carry STIs and diseases that can be harmful when spread.

 

Fluid Bonding is not a term thrown around for once offs, it is an ongoing commitment. Some Fluid bonded relationships are still open outside of their fluid bonded relationship but that means that any and all play is protected from start to finish and will require testing to ensure that everyone is safe.

 

Fluid Bonding is built on a basis of trust and open transparency upon past sexual health and future sexual health and testing. Discussing these may be difficult or uncomfortable but it is very necessary to protect everyone involved.

 

When making the decision to become Fluid Bonded, it is important to sit down and discuss why you would like to become fluid bonded, what it means to each of you. Then it is important to get tested either together or separately but to share those test results with each other. Communication and complete transparency regarding this and if you have had any STIs in the past is necessary for the safety of each other moving forward.

 

Work out if you are closed or open and how you will mitigate testing in the future. If you will be sharing partners, it’s important to know how to protect yourselves not just yourself. If you have more than one partner or are in a fluid bonded polyamorous relationship ensure that everyone is aware of the risks and discuss getting tested regularly to keep everyone safe and on the same page.

 

Another discussion point for hetero-sexual partners is to discuss further contraception option if children are not immediately wanted, or wanted at all.

 

Fluid bonding like consent can always be ended or retracted. If there is moment, or something that makes you feel uncomfortable you are always within your rights to ask to reinstate using barriers during intercourse

 

A note about Precum:

Precum can still carry bacteria, viruses and sexually transmitted diseases and still contract sexually transmitted diseases. Any and all play involving PIV (penis in Vagina) or PIA (penis in anus) or PIM (penis in mouth) should use a condom if you are not fluid bonded with another person to minimise the risk of transferable diseases and cleanliness.

At Your Service

Tiffany

Caringbah Oh Zone Adult Shop Sale assistant, Educator and Safe Sex Advocate

 

What Does a Hookup Mean and How Do You Go About It?

online dating

In recent years, online dating has changed how people view sex and even how it is enjoyed. Casual dating has become very popular, and now it has evolved into hookups particularly among college students and young people alike.

However, many still do not know exactly what a hookup is and how they can go about it. The insights below will help you understand what a hookup is and how you should enjoy having one.

What Does a Hookup Mean?

Having a hookup is considered ambiguous by many young people. Some think it is casual sex, while others say that it has a deeper meaning than that. Well, a hookup is defined as having casual sex with someone you are not dating. It is usually a one-time sexual encounter, and the adventure is not limited to what you do. It could be any type of sex with a person you prefer.

How Do You Go About Having a Hookup?

According to many young adults and through studies conducted by universities and colleges across the world, there are many ways to hook up successfully. You can consider the following ways.

  •       Hookup apps and websites – As mentioned in the beginning, the internet has changed the way people date and communicate. Today, there are many apps and websites that help young adults to hook up and have sex with people they like. With a hookup app or website, you can see people who are interested in hookups around you, chat, and make arrangements to meet later at a place of your choice. It is highly recommended that you take the necessary precautions such as using legit apps and websites.
  •       Parties – Quite a number of hookups among young adults happen at parties. They like to have house parties where they invite friends, schoolmates, workmates, and even random acquaintances on social media. Such parties have a lot of alcohol and sometimes marijuana. From here, people can have hookups with partners they meet and get along with. In such a case, one should protect themselves.
  •       Clubs – unlike organized parties, clubs have all sorts of people. But you can still have a hookup with people you meet and share a drink with. These are more common over the weekend when people have time to drink, chat, and enjoy exclusive hookups. Hooking up in a club is riskier since you probably meet total strangers who might invite you to their place. So, you should be quick to identify red flags and make a smart decision.

Why Hookups Are Popular in Schools

According to research, most college and university students have reported having a hookup at least once during their time in school. Many claim that it is adventurous and fun. But researchers have a different view; they think that young adults are curious to try new and wild things especially when they have used alcohol or marijuana. Also, peer pressure plays a big role.

Top Benefits of Hookups

Apart from peer pressure and being curious about adventure, college students and young adults prefer hookups since they have many advantages as compared to traditional relationships.

  •       No commitment – Well, many students are not ready for any commitments even though they want to experiment on sexual matters. That is why they prefer hookups which gives them instant partners to adventure in sex whenever they want. For hookup, you just need to attend a party and pick a partner or hookup with models from an online dating app.
  •       It is full of fun – The young people, especially those in school consider fun and adventure as a good thing. In such a case, hookups are full of fun and adventure as you explore sex with new people at parties or random dating sites and apps. What makes it even better is that you get to choose who you want to hook up with depending on what you want to experience in bed.
  •       No relationship challenges – Serious relationships might be full of challenges that are overwhelming. Sometimes it is financial disagreements, lack of support for your goals, or any other. But with hookups, there are no strings attached between the two of you, which means, no relationship stress at all. That is actually why hookups are becoming popular by the day.
  •       You can have multiple partners – Hookups are part of casual sex relationships where one can as many partners as they want. If you are sexually active, you can hook up with a person of your choice any day without limitation. Once you have a good time with someone, you can hook up with another almost immediately (if you like).

Even with all these benefits of hookups, this kind of relationship can have its downside unless you take precautions. Experts say that it can be addictive to young people and this can affect them in maintaining a serious relationship later in life. So, have a limitation on how you do it.

Final Word

By now, you have more than enough insights on what a hookup is and how to go about one. You know where it all starts and even what to do to be safe. Just so you know, hookups are becoming more common by the day, but it is up to you to decide whether you will participate or not.

Hookup vs Dating: What is the Difference?

dating online

In the modern world, there are two basic ways to go about having sex. One way is the tried and true method of dating. You get together with someone and start a relationship with them. You have to dedicate yourselves and be monogamous. At least that’s the long term dating way of doing it. There’s also the short term dating way that’s always an option. The next big way is simply by hooking up. It’s what a whole lot of people prefer. You seem to get it all with this option. You meet up with someone, have sex, then you just go your separate ways. It’s as easy and simple as that.

There’s a lot more to is, though. There are hundreds of different variables that can affect your ultimate decision on how you get yourself laid. Realistically, there’s no right answer. It’s just about what’s right for you. You also need to keep in mind that what’s right for you today may not be right for you tomorrow. That can have huge consequences down the line. So, what are all these details? We spoke with hookup expert Tony Parker from Kinky Hookup to understand some of the fundamental differences between a long-term relationship and short-term sexual encounters and here’s what he had to say on the subject.

A hook up should never last more than a night

To get to the real meat of what a hookup is, we’ll have to look at the definition. Informally, it’s “An instance of people meeting, communicating, or cooperating.” The meeting part is simple. You’re obviously getting together with someone. The cooperating part comes next. That’s when you both work together to make each other orgasm. It’s the sex part of the hookup. The biggest thing to look at is the word “instance”. It says right there that it’s only a moment in time. You’re hooking up for a night, not a lifetime. If you have someone that you sleep with, but not date, then you have a fuck buddy. That’s something completely different that would take a whole other conversation to fully understand. If you want to hook up, it has to be for a single night. That’s the whole concept behind it and it’s what keeps a lot of people from trying it. There are far too many Hollywood movies that make you believe you’ll develop feelings for the other person and have your heart broken. That’s just not how it works.

Hookups are fun and invigorating

Human beings are designed to like attention. We all want to be the best at everything and we need the adulation for it. Just look at a politician or movie star. They’re constantly forcing themselves into issues that they barely understand and have no chance of actually contributing to. It’s their egos making them do it and we all have them. There’s nothing more life affirming than believing that the people around you want to have sex with you. It gives you a rush of dopamine that nothing else can compare to. That’s why hooking up is so much fun. It makes us feel sexy and desirable. If we can go out and have sex with a stranger, then we must be extremely desirable. Why else would the other person want to have sex with us?

Hooking up as a fetish

Of course, the act of hooking up can be worth a whole lot more to certain people. These are the men and women who fetishize it. The best part about hooking up for them is the sex with strangers. Not knowing the person you’re being intimate with is a thrill. It’s what really turns them on. Some even seek out hook up partners who agree to share as little information about themselves as possible. Other still will willingly blindfold themselves and let the stranger take them anyway they want. They’ll never know what they look like or who they are. That’s what they like and desire about it. Hooking up as a fetish is growing by the day and more and more people are willing to try it out. Even if they never do it again, they’ll always have this one experience to look back on.

Long term dating

So what about long term dating? Well, simply put, you’re dedicating yourself to one other person in a relationship that’s about much more than sex. At the beginning of the relationship, you’re sharing memories and moments both in and out of the bedroom. You’re traveling and learning together while maintaining a sexual relationship at the end of it. As the relationship grows, you share more and more. You and your significant other share lives, bills, homes and sex. It’s the basis for most of western civilization and the main goal of most people on the planet. Men and women strive to get married and have families. Everything else they do is in service to it. It’s what their lives are based on and always will be. It’s a fine thought, but often a struggle for human beings. It turns out we were never really meant to be monogamous for our entire lives.

Short term dating

So we make our way to short term dating. This is a mix of the two concepts. With short term dating, you’re sharing your lives with each other, but not forever. The easiest example of this is with high school or college students. Men and women will date, but once their time in school ends, so does the relationship. They move on to a new one until that one expires. It fulfills our need for companionship, as well as out primal need to fuck as many people as possible in our lifetimes.

Things can change

People who seek out long term relationships often find themselves in the same bad position. After spending so much of your life with someone, you begin to feel that you’re missing out. Maybe there’s someone better for you out there. Maybe the sex can be hotter. These men and women often turn to hookups outside of their relationships and behind their partner’s backs. It can seem unpalatable, but it’s a fact of life. Anyone seeking a hookup can always find one if they look hard enough.

A Different Type of Gratitude!

It’s going to take a while to get there but today I discovered a new kind of gratitude list.
I was filled with resentment, self-pity the last couple of days (no weeks) and this morning decided I needed to take a break and just chill with a long walk along the Cronulla shore line.  I was in victim mode with the usual why me, how could they, why wouldn’t they, don’t they understand – all about me – my thoughts and actions acting in my selfish ways – defects there for all to see.  I had made recent errors in trying to control things, acting out and more and whilst I admitted these, failed and continue to fail to keep them in check.  I had been given  some wise words that I can only be responsible for my own thoughts and actions as mine is the only journey that with gods will I have any power over.  Wise words – harder to put into action – working it is sometimes easier said than done – so caught up in myself.
As I walked, the beauty of the shore-line, clear blue water with waves tumbling, escaped me, this perfect day was lost and the happiness that I saw in other people inwardly I resented.  A young couple kissing I cringed as I watched and felt like shouting at them stop, you do not know what you are getting yourselves into and bursting their bubble – how selfish of me, how unfair!
Walking a wee bit further I stopped in my tracks!!  A sight before me made me shameful and disgusted with my thoughts and actions.  There a few meters away in a wheelchair sat a man with severe cerebral palsy.  Either his wife or carer was with him as I heard her say to him, ‘Smile so we can take a selfie!’  She did not have to say smile for the pure unadulterated freedom, happiness and joy was plastered across his face.  He could not use his arms or walk or even talk properly but here he was in the sunlight of the day enjoying life to the fullest he possibly could.  There I was still physically fit and able wallowing in resentments and self-pity.
Taking this in and reflecting whilst I walked to what I had just witnessed, silently I thanked god for his generosity and grace.  Only minutes after doing so I saw four young people with downs syndrome crossing the road.  They walked into a supermarket and something – some power made me follow behind them.  There was no reason for me to walk into the supermarket – just some unseen force that guided me there.  Mesmerized I stood and watched these four young people interact with trust, honesty and compassion as together they tried to work out how much their items would cost and how much they needed to go home.  Minutes past and an overwhelming sense of warmth and love shot through me whilst taking in the scene in front of me.  How dare I wallow in self-pity and resentment?   Having my god given mental capacities still intact is a gift that I have not fully appreciated or been thankful for – yet here are these amazing human beings that just by their actions praise their higher power for the abundance they feel has been given…
I am thick and stubborn.  Many times I do not hear what other people say, sometimes I do not invest fully in others that are in my company.  It takes someone to hit me over the head sometimes for me ‘to get it’ and I think this revolves around my self-centredness and trying to control everything.  If I don’t control the show why should I listen?  I am so full of myself how could I ever have enough room to fully accommodate anyone else?  This is one of the character defects I am working very hard on, so as I continued on my morning journey, went to my car, grabbed the book I am reading and sat down to read it on the grassy area of Wanda Beach?
As I was about to open the book titled ‘Make Miracles’ a man about my age stood beside where I was sitting.  His left hand was deformed either from birth defect or a horrible accident – it was crushed and only stubs appeared where his fingers should.  In his other hand he held a mobile phone and was chatting, laughing looking joyous and free.  He stood there for several minutes – there was no reason why he would walk to where I was sitting, there was no reason he would stand beside me, literally within arms distance.   But here he was happy, joyous and free and the fact that he had a deformed hand did not seem to even register to him.  He did not hide it – he did not seem to resent it – it was part of him and was perfectly imperfect.  Yet here I was with no disability questioning why me.
So my morning had been full of ‘god jobs’ but as I opened up the book the the chapter titled ‘How It Works’ it described a gratitude list but in reverse and I read it and absorbed it BUT we will get to that!!!
So after reading this chapter I sat and reflected and realized how much I owe and how little I have given.  However being who I am it was not long before again I started to spiral into to depths of self-pity again.  Without going into it I began thinking of myself, and what about loneliness, how do I meet new people – really meet new people as I have always been great at chatting with them, being the actor, always being the nice guy, but everyone -including me – knowing that I was not giving of my true self.  The one that has doubts, resentments, fears, anger, self loathing and a whole list of character defects.
It was time to get a coffee and think about things as I drove to Southgate.  My epiphany ‘light bulb’ moments – and they were big moments – lost again whilst I was feeling sad, lonely and sorry for myself.  I told you I am stubborn and sometimes need a 4×2 to crack my thick skull to let things in, but thankfully my higher power was nothing but persistent today.  As I made it down from the escalator there was a man whose leg had been amputated surrounded by people that obviously loved him.  He was smiling and happy – oblivious to the limb he had lost – engaging honestly with those around him and I could see that this was being reciprocated.  Double whammy loneliness and outlook on life after physical crisis.   Man, was I getting some lessons today.  And on reflection the man in the wheelchair with his wife or carer, the Downs Syndrome group all having a go!!!
So as I sat at the Pavement Cafe and ordered my coffee I grabbed the newspaper expecting to have some more alone time.  As I started reading it two ladies on the table opposite smiled at me and began to engage me in conversation – it was just chit chat, but it was light and a relief.  After I finished my coffee I went home and onto the beach with my kids and a random couple came up to me and starting chatting with me.  Random stuff but we spoke for 10-15 minutes.  Wow was talking to people this easy?
My whole day was full of ‘messages’ that debunked my resentments into the frail and ugly truths they really are.  There is a lesson to be learned in every situation and when you harbor a resentment look for your part in it and 9 times out of 10 the resentment will be gone.
BUT getting back to the subject of a different kind of gratitude list.  The book I was reading pulls no punches and some of the text is a bit dismissive but it says if you want real change you have to ‘do real work’.  Gratitude lists are great ‘but even a monkey can count his blessings’.  If you are going to learn, grow then you
‘have to practice being grateful for everything you don’t like about yourself or your lives.  That includes people, places and things that are happening now or happened before.  It also includes our feelings, especially those we judge as being bad or wrong’.
It goes on further that being grateful for everything does not mean you have to have gratitude for it – you can feel however you feel but those feeling must be expressed in the list.  That you be thankful that you have or are experiencing things, acknowledging your feelings will allow you to grow and learn.  It is a gratitude list in reverse – the opposite.  This list you keep to yourself or share with only one other person – the same person all the time that you trust implicitly.
Look I do not know if this works – I am just reading the book now – haven’t even finished it.   All I know that after the day I have had, and the messages that have been delivered to me – I had to share it with someone!!!!

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

When was the last time you laid eyes on a person who made the butterflies in your stomach throw an impromptu party by jumping up and down like their lives depended on it? If you can’t remember, and yet you’re not single and consider yourself to be happily married or in a long-term relationship, the answer is probably – the last century. It was so long ago that even if you found yourself single and ready to mingle, you wouldn’t even know where to begin because back in the day no one in their right mind tried to find love online!

Sustaining a marriage or any sort of committed relationship takes plenty of patience, excellent communication skills, and an incredible amount of understanding.  So, what’s love got to do with it? Well, it’s a foundation, and it better be a solid one otherwise all the other ‘stories’ you build on it will come crashing down sooner or later. Today, we’re not here to discuss the foundation but would like to take a look at what it takes to maintain a relationship in this day and age when even the people have become disposable.

#1: The Art of Patience

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and it’s easy to enjoy the good times knowing a difficult period is behind you. But what do you do when you find yourself in the midst of challenging times where the future of your marriage is uncertain, and you definitely can’t predict what tomorrow will bring? Couples who stay together for decades have a common goal – to stay together for as long as they both shall live. This common goal is one of the key factors that helps each partner get through a tough period that threatens to break them up. This is anything but easy, and in most cases, time is the biggest ally because it heels wounds and eventually opens new doors, and it is patience that each partner must have for time to do its job, and bring their relationship back to normal.

#2:  Communication is Key

Getting your message across so that your partner can understand your point exactly is crucial for maintaining any kind of relationship, even long-term friendships. At the same time, listening intently and paying attention to your partner’s body language even when he or she is not talking goes a long way, especially if you take the opportunity to show them you’ve been paying attention when they least expect it. When you run into problems, talk to your partner when the emotions settle down instead of poking each other’s eyes out when you’re each at your wit’s end. Being prepared to compromise on your wishes and desires to include some of your partner’s as well ultimately leads to a happy and healthy life together.

#3: Putting Yourself in Someone Else’s Shoes

Having sympathy for someone is nice, but it won’t get you far. Having empathy and understanding someone else’s point of view means that two people are mature enough to be with each other. Children have extremely narrow points of view and aren’t capable of seeing the world through anyone else’s eyes but their own. As we grow older, we begin to understand that we don’t live on a remote island, are social creatures, and as such must take another person’s feelings, desires and beliefs into serious consideration. Otherwise, a very lonely existence awaits. Couples who are happy in their relationships for years and even decades have no problem putting their partner’s needs ahead of their own, and their partners are more than willing to reciprocate.

This article is written by –

Stefan Guest Post