Getting to Know Your Body Again After the End of a Relationship

Most women have been there, haven’t they? A long-term relationship has, for whatever reason, crashed and burned, and you feel pretty much at your lowest ebb emotionally and lacking in self-esteem. Maybe the last few months of your relationship saw lots of conflict alongside a dip in the quantity and quality of sex, your partner cheated on you with someone else, or you found the courage to leave a mentally or physically abusive relationship – whatever happened, you’re nursing a bruised and broken heart, feeling quite lost.


Once you get over the initial heartache, though, you’ll realize that this is the perfect time for you and your body to get reacquainted with one another in a slow and sensual fashion. In all likelihood, you spent a large proportion of your relationship trying to please your partner sexually and, if this is the case, neglected your own needs and desires in the process. Or, alternatively, you may well have been with your ex-partner for a number of years and forgotten who you are without them. Either way, one of the key ways to come back to yourself after the end of a relationship is to love yourself and explore the boundaries of your pleasures (or beyond them, if that’s your thing!).

Set the Scene

As relationships mature, some of the romance and excitement eek their way out of the bedroom – which is perhaps why there is a purported orgasm deficit between couples of the opposite sex. Instead, sex becomes a dull, missionary affair that you feel obligated to engage in to try and keep the spark alive just a little longer.

Being newly single, however, gives you the unique opportunity to treat yourself like the absolute queen you are. Run yourself a luxurious bubble bath, light some candles, and pour yourself a glass of whatever tipple you fancy; you can take this a step further and create yourself a sexy playlist to listen to on your phone to get yourself in the mood.

Once you’ve settled in the suds, you can start to gently stroke the curves of your body, focusing on the feeling of your fingers running down your body under the water.

Lavish Yourself with Lingerie

Who said that indulging in some sexy lingerie should be reserved exclusively for those in relationships? A great way of boosting your confidence and feeling sexy is to spend some time choosing lingerie that you find alluring and that you will feel comfortable in. Opting for satins and silks are perfect, as they tend to gently skim your skin and feel sumptuous.

Touching yourself over the top of said lingerie is both arousing and sensual, engaging multiple senses at one time. If you’re feeling particularly racy, you can even take some risqué snaps on your phone to admire yourself and your body (just be careful to hide them from prying eyes).

Learn More About Your Sexuality

In many cases, spending a long time with one person – particularly if you got together at a young age – can repress your knowledge and understanding of your own sexuality. You might not have had the opportunity to explore or identify what turns you on, or you might have been more focused on pleasuring your partner over yourself.

For women, in particular, it’s often the end of a relationship that spurs them on to learn more about themselves and their sexuality, leading to a discovery that they are gay, bisexual, bi-curious, or polyamorous, or have certain kinks they were previously unaware of.

An interesting way to explore this further is to look into exclusive, high-end sex parties. Most of the time, you can remain anonymous and uninvolved in the antics, or get stuck in as you wish, and an added bonus is that the women often have to make the first move, preventing you from receiving any unwanted attention.

Get Yourself Going

For some, watching porn with their other half can be an awkward experience, which is why it’s a great way to get yourself aroused when you’re alone instead. Not only can you choose from a whole range of categories on the top porn sites, covering all sorts of kinks and desires, but it’s a less intense way of figuring out your sexuality and what you’re into.

Change Things Up

If you have ever found yourself getting bored of missionary position during sex, consider your position when masturbating – if you are always laying back with your legs open (essentially the missionary position for masturbation), it’s likely that you aren’t having a very exciting experience or learning new things about your body and how to please yourself.

Thinking back to the orgasm deficit in heterosexual couples, one great way of dispelling this in future sexual encounters is to try masturbating in a variety of positions, which will help you to discover what works for you when your body isn’t in the standard on-your-back position. When you do then get with a new partner, you can show them how you like to be touched during sex and what works for you in different positions.

Go Electric, Baby

These days, there’s a vast array of different sex toys that work to pleasure different parts of your body in the most exciting of ways and you would, quite frankly, be a fool if you didn’t use this time to familiarize yourself with the all-singing, all-dancing models that are available today.

From clit suction toys to specially shaped dildos, there’s something for everyone to enjoy, so grab the lube and get down and dirty with some electric fun!

Strength and Self-Esteem Building

Pole dancing is a craze that has really taken off over the past few years, demonstrating that it is a difficult sport to master, but one that helps women to build their muscle strength and self-esteem at the same time. Learning a range of moves that build your core and push your body to the extreme can help you develop a powerful sense of self – particularly if you know that the only reason you’re doing this is for you and no-one else! Although it may take time to master some of the more complex moves – along with lots of bruises and metal burns on the way – you’ll no doubt develop a fierceness that you can own and that you know comes entirely from within yourself.

Whether your relationship was a bad one that needed to end, or the romance simply fizzled away, the greatest gift you can give yourself to help you heal and polish your armor is to look after, and love, yourself. Because, at the end of the day, you’re stuck with yourself each and every day, so why not treat yourself like the most important person in the world? No one else is going to do it for you!

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