Never Lose To The Seven Year Itch

Unhappy husband and wife

From our birth onwards we simply desire contentment. We want happiness and a happy life.  This is especially true when we get married and enter into a new relationship. We are human beings and the human species on this planet earth wish to have a joie de vivre and we make every effort to attain it. I don’t know about extraterrestrials, perhaps they may be visiting planet earth in their flying saucers just to find the thing called happiness. (We must ask Steven Spielberg about it….!)

After marriage both the partners are in the pursuit of happiness. There is a supreme dedication for one another as a thorn may pick at the sole of a husband and tears appear in the eyes of his wife. Every kind of happiness and every kind of suffering is related to the mind and body. The impact is both mental and physical. Between the body and mind, it is our mind which is primarily related to the sentiment of happiness. The body is secondary. If the body is content we even ignore its existence.

Sexual activity is a physical one and thus the body is content in the initial stage of marriage. The touch, the friction of skin, the sexual attraction for each other’s erogenous zones and the building of fire and subsequent lustful crescendo, ending into a lethargic ambiance of relaxation and blissed out state of existence overtakes the honeycombs of the inner core. However the mind is fluid, and when the mind overtakes the body the turmoil begins. The mind of a woman is differently wired as emotion overtakes practicality. It registers every detail, however small it is. Then the result is joy if the detail is cheerful, or agony if the detail is painful.

During the first few years of marriage everything seems rosy and heavenly but once the novelty wanes out the difference of opinions between two partners crop up. The activities are loved by both people at the beginning become abhorred at a later stage. As the saying goes, it is the seven years itch.

How To Deal With The Seven Year Itch

The question then arises as to how to deal with such a situation.  The research has shown that if you happen to be charitable, philanthropic and bountiful than you emanate that quality of happiness. When I say be charitable, you don’t have to shell out money to be charitable. As the saying goes, charity begins at home. You have a heart. Open it up.  Bestow your love. Be compassionate towards others. When we understand that everyone in this world encounters suffering in one or the other way, our own problems become realistic and the obstacles don’t look unattainable. What is required is few soothing words instead of clashes of the ego. With a few sweet words from the bottom of the heart and a broken heart starts healing itself.

Unhappy long term relationship
Image: Dating Problems

The Importance Of Interdependence

However capable an individual may be, if he or she is left alone he or she is sure to diminish. A support system is a fundamental requirement of human beings and it is a vital part between two adults who are wedded to each other. It is interdependence. The whole of the universe is an example of how it has come to evolve to its present form is because of interdependence. From the planet to the space, oceans, mountains, forests, the flora and fauna, even the garden around your house, to the tiny world of insects all are entwined together. If they don’t interact they will decay, dissolve and die.

Therefore, be interdependent. Interact. Develop a sense of compassion. Believe in the relationship, companionship and camaraderie. They are hard to come by. When the promise of a relationship and friendship breaks, there is no noise. What remains is silence. Eerie silence. Unbearable silence pleading for communication that is asking for interdependence. If that is done you will feel special and loved.

It is of prime importance that we try to have mental tranquillity. This peace fullness and understanding of each other’s flaws is very vital between husband and wife because it is a union of two imperfect human beings.

Author: Dr. Satish Bendigiri is a human resource specialist and educator with two decades of corporate experience and management education. Dr. Satish has a doctorate in training and development of employees in general and employees in the automobile sector.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

9 Hot Ways To Spice Up Your Love Life

Couple having foreplay

If you have been married or dating for a while now, you probably would not describe your sex life as being what it used to be.  Chances are, it’s not quite as exciting and fulfilling as it used to be.  Though your sex life might have started out as hot as a habanero pepper you have likely ended up in the pepper range. However, the good news is you do not have to stay in this range.  You can add some heat, excitement, and fun to your love life.  “Dinner and a movie” is the classic date, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get boring. Whether you’ve been dating your partner for weeks or for years, it’s important to make sure to spice up your relationship every once in a while.  Even if you’re just friends with benefits, you can look to one of the below suggestions to help keep things spicy.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Always doing the same thing? Try something that you both have never done before, like scuba diving or even a painting class. It doesn’t have to be something scary like sky diving (although that’s a great option!) but anything out of your normal routine will be exciting and feel sexy.

Repeat The Past

Remember your first date? Of course you do, and you probably remember all of the feelings and emotions that went along with it. If you’re trying to keep things interesting, why not repeat that first date? It obviously worked at the time, so who knows how much you’ll enjoy it now.

Couple at the park
Image: Couple Eskimo kissing

Change Something

Most spouses fall into a habit of doing the same old thing all the time, for instance, having sex in the bedroom.  This is not good, repetition gives way to boredom, mix things up.  Every time you have sex, change something, perhaps the location.  You don’t have to go to a hotel, you can have sex in the dining room or on the floor!

Introduce New Sex Toys

If you’re stuck in the same routine in the bedroom you can get really bored and introducing something different like sex toys can really spice things up.  You don’t have to jump straight into whips and chains but start somewhere.  Buy a vibrator or a dildo and test it out.  Just have a play with it, make it fun.  Buy a fantasy costume like a nurse or French maid.  If it’s with someone you trust, why not try some fluffy hand cuffs and let the other person do whatever they want to you (within reason obviously).

Make Sex Fun With Public Play

Vibrating panties can be a great way to spice things up.  Vibrating panties allow you to have your partner control a vibrator that’s hidden in your panties either via a remote control or a phone app.  That way you could be in a park or anywhere public and your partner can give you an orgasm.  I wouldn’t jump straight into this though, test out some vibrators and dildos before you move on to something a little kinkier like vibrating panties.  To find out more about vibrating panties, check out Vibrating Panties – The ultimate guide.

Talk About It

This might be hard but it can bring you closer together to open up and talk about your sex life.  Poor communication has been the source of many problems in a marriage.  So don’t go bottling things up, let your partner know how you feel and what you think.  This will show them that you value the marriage as well as your sex life.  Also, listen to what they have to say. It is not good to assume what the other feels.

Channel Your Inner Artist

Feeling creative? Picking up a sketch book and some pencils makes for an inexpensive date, and you already have the best looking model at your disposal.  Taking turns posing for a sketch is exhilarating and will definitely open up the rest of the day to more fun.

Do Some Reading

Looking to keep the passion alive? There’s no harm in picking up some spicy books to inspire you and your partner.  From steamy romance novels to sultry how-to guides, there’s a whole world of reading out there for the two of you to enjoy.

Pretend To Be Strangers

Perfect for the couple who has been together for a while – pretending to not know each other. Dress up and arrive separately at a bar with pseudonyms and back stories already created. There, you “find” each other among the crowd and allow your alternate personalities to hit it off.

No matter which one of these date ideas you decide to try, spicing things up if you’ve been together a while is important.  With these simple tips, you can get the ball rolling.  Remember all these cannot be accomplished by only you, it requires your partners help as well, what you can do is take the initiative and as I said talk about it!

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

13 Essential Tips To Find Love In An Arranged Marriage

Indian marriage traditions

One of my friends sent his son to me who seeked some advice before his wedding day. When I talked with him I realized he was not aware of the institution of marriage. What I have observed during all these years is that boys really do not know many things about this union of two adults and this can cause further issues building a relationship.

Here in India we find that the marriages are mostly arranged ones, a match is found either through an acquaintance or through matrimonial sites. A boy or a girl will register his/her name on a matrimonial site of his/her choice with all the relevant details and seek a match. When both parties are a suitable match, they exchange horoscopes and if they are compatible there are subsequent discussions that take place and finally, after the grand wedding the girl enters the boy’s house.

The most delicate part starts here as the boy is not aware of women’s issues nor does he understand the psychology of women. I believe that every man must study women’s issues especially related to menstruation. Before he gets married he must understand the menstrual cycle and the repercussions such as bleeding, pain, cramps, mood changes and the related psychology. It is he who is going to take care of her in the initial years of building a relationship with her because she has entered his house for good and it is not the other way round.

It is his responsibility as a husband to make his wife happy so that they can both lead a good life. Here are some suggestions to make it possible.

Arranged marriage ceremony
Image: Indian Proposal

13 Tips To Build A Strong Marriage With Your New Wife

  1. In the initial days and months he must make her comfortable and help her get adjusted with the new set-up.
  2. If she is staying with you by herself, help her in small day to day work. Don’t expect her to be on her toes all the time.
  3. Never expect that as a wife she is aware of everything. She is as new as you are in this relationship, which is between two adults, not one. So maturity is essential to handle all issues that arise.
  4. She may not be a great cook. She is equally qualified as she spent her time studying and building her career just like you so she couldn’t learn culinary arts. So what? Give her some time. She knows that the way to a husband’s heart is through his stomach.
  5. Be a little romantic. Surprise her with small gifts to celebrate special days or write small ‘thank you’ and ‘i love you’ messages which will help her feel special.
  6. You must find time for her. Take her out on the weekend to celebrate with some quality time together.
  7. Always involve her in important family issues and discuss her opinions.
  8. Don’t be a mama’s boy, no wife will appreciate this idea of a mama’s boy. What if she starts being papa’s girl? So, be mature.
  9. Stop being judgemental. In any arguments between her and your mother or sister, avoid taking sides.
  10. If she has professional aspirations; help her pursue them.
  11. Remember you are her best buddy and not a typical husband. Let her feel free so she can share her thoughts freely.
  12. Don’t force her to do something which she doesn’t want to do especially in the area of sex. She is not a sex toy, don’t force her for sex, accept and respect her when she says “NO”. Understanding the difference between consensual sex and non-consensual sex is important.
  13. Give her some personal space. Marriage is not the end of her previous life, her old friends and her social life. She is an individual even after marriage.

The secret of a harmonious, loving and peaceful coexistence is to do SWOT analysis for ourselves and other people. Focusing on people’s strengths and merits rather than on their weaknesses and defects is the key to building strong relationships. When we focus on the faults of others, we only draw those negative forces on to ourselves. We are so cultured we do not want to pollute the atmosphere with negative vibrations. Let us do away with ingrained notions of prejudice and biased views. Let us eradicate the judgemental attitude we possess. No one in the world is perfect. A union through marriage, friendships and relationships brings two imperfect human beings together and makes one cohesive figure out of it. Unless we accept that we are imperfect we may lose all the possibilities of making our life blessed and blissed out.

Author: Dr. Satish Bendigiri is a human resource specialist and educator with two decades of corporate experience and management education. Dr. Satish has a doctorate in training and development of employees in general and employees in the automobile sector.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

Unspoken Signs Of Love

You may find that in a relationship a man hardly utters the words “I love you” even if a woman wants that assurance from him or she craves to hear these three words. Men do fail to understand women in the romance section and this was very true for a generation before mine. Here is a short story about this issue.

Three Magical Words

The other day there was an argument between my son and his wife. The reason she said it had happened was because he was not spending quality time with her and he was so busy he didn’t even notice her new dress. The last time he had said “I love you” to her was half a decade back, so she complained. And so the exchanging of words continued in a heated manner until it finally settled on a compromise where he had to take her on a long drive, have a lunch in a downtown restaurant and finally conclude with a movie, that Sunday.

I remembered how my grandparents loved each other. My grandparents to which my son could attribute his legacy. Whenever my grandmother was with me, she used to tell stories about how she met my grandfather and how they used to converse with each other. The stories were in a fragmented manner. Like how she never entered his room rather she would doze off in another room, she never looked up into his face and exchanged words once in a while and that too was on rare occasions. But whenever she said all these words, a faint smile lingered on her face and sometimes she would even blush, making her so attractive!

I wondered how this woman could love a man who always frowned; spoke in a low voice that was almost a growl which could frighten anyone. It baffled me, how two people who had been married for 5 decades could still be so much in love with each other. How my grandma could so clearly have this crush on my grandpa, how she could find him the most incredible man in the world when they had shared so many years of up and downs and perhaps so many of their own flaws and differences.

How could an old woman like her light up like that, when speaking of her husband? How could she smile and blush as though she was in her teens when she knew so much about the world and had made so many sacrifices for this person?

And I am sure he had never said “I love you” to her.

I love you message
Image: I love you leaf

Author: Dr. Satish Bendigiri is a human resource specialist and educator with two decades of corporate experience and management education. Dr. Satish has a doctorate in training and development of employees in general and employees in the automobile sector.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

9 Mischievous Valentine’s Day Sex Ideas

Valentine's kiss

Valentine’s Day is an excellent occasion to make your sexual life a bit more interesting. For couples, it gives them the perfect chance to deliver new and exciting pleasures to each other. It’s time to think about how you can please your partner and what can make the night unforgettable. Here are 9 mischievous Valentine’s Day sex ideas:

1) Dominate Your Lover

Instead of sighing and ecstatically moaning during sex, verbalize your own desires. Each of them! That is, say what your partner should do, how to stand, lie, where and how to touch or kiss you etc. Warn her that you won’t tolerate disobedience. All she needs to do is to listen and follow your orders.

2) Close Your Lover’s Eyes

For this one, you’ll need a blindfold, an ice cube, a feather, a vibrator, and other objects that you can adapt and use for foreplay. Use the blindfold to cover the girl’s eyes, then touch her in unexpected places with unexpected objects (the more unexpected the objects and the spots are, the better) until she finally begs you to take her. When her eyes are closed, other senses become sharper, so her orgasm will be unforgettable.

3) Visit New Places For Sexual Discovery

You need 10 sheets of paper and 2 pens. Each of you writes 5 places on the paper (“cinema”, “restaurant”, “parking lot” etc.), throw the pieces of paper in the hat and pull one out. Next, go straight to the location written on the paper. Find a quiet and cosy spot so you spend time enjoying each other. Sex will be spiced up with adrenaline (and the possibility of being caught is also a kind of extreme) which will feel incredible.

Valentine's restaurant date
Image: Valentine’s Date

4) Become Strangers

Meet in the lobby bar of the hotel and pretend that you don’t know each other. Offer to buy the girl a drink and try to make friends with her. You can both be whomever you would like to be and say whatever you want. For example, you can pretend to be a stewardesses, a millionaire or even a nuclear physicists.  The main thing is not to break character and act according to the role until the very end and by “the very end” we don’t mean the moment when the “stranger” agrees to go up to your room, the end is the check-out time the next morning. This way the “immersion” will be better.

Since both of you will be playing new roles (and this is the main rule), your sex will at least be non-trivial. It may even turn out to be the best in your life. Besides, it’s sometimes extremely entertaining and interesting to know how your partner sees herself.

5) Try New Sex Toys

Each of you can bring, say, 3 new sex toys to your bed and then go for a test drive trying all of them. The main thing is to be realistic about your capabilities and not turn the marathon into a sprint. Usually, the novelty of the sensations experienced inevitably affects the rapidity of a male orgasm. And the task is to unbox and try all your new purchases.

What’s the catch? This game allows both of you to suggest to your partner to try a new toy you have always wanted to bring into your sex life. When both of you are free to choose any device you want, you’ll avoid embarrassment, misunderstandings and phrases, like “normal human sex is no longer interesting to you.”

6) Try New Sex Positions

This sex position will be great if both of you want to reach maximum levels of pleasure. Get on your knees, take her by the ankles and put her feet on your shoulders. Once you’re inside her, move both her legs onto one shoulder. In this position, the blood flow to her genitals is increased, which means that sensitivity is much higher than usual. Besides, in this position, her legs aren’t spread, the vagina is tightly wrapped around the penis, which increases the sensations during friction. You can also use your hand to stimulate her clitoris.

7) Visit A New Place

Nothing brings brighter sensations than extreme sex. Why not leave the standard options for later and try something new and even exotic in the name of Valentine’s Day? Everything depends on your sexual fantasy and the level of adrenaline you wish to experience. For some couples, sex on the kitchen table is already extreme and for others, sex in a crowded bus is quite normal. Wherever passion gets you: in the fitting room of a shopping centre, on the roof of a multi-storey house, in an elevator or in a public toilet, do it.

Valentine's holiday
Image: Couple Swimming

8) Try A New Experience

According to the polls, more than 20% of couples in love go on holidays for a new sexual experience. The most innocent one is a trip to the nearest sex toy shop to buy a couple of toys and spend the night experimenting with them. But some couples go further. To spice up their sex life, they invite a third partner into their bed or even try tantric sex. Why not? Just make sure that your loved one is OK with such experiments.

9) Make It An Intimate And Romantic Atmosphere

If you’re conservative, you can simply limit yourself to a nice, romantic dinner and continue the evening in a hotel room with a glass of champagne. You can enjoy a striptease performance from your girlfriend and end the night with passionate sex. In general, everything depends on your desire and thickness of your wallet.

Make your fantasy work and give your loved one a truly new feeling. And if you happen to be alone, find yourself a mate on Contact Brides.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.