VIP Interview With Intimalogist Dr. Kat Smith

Dr. Kat Smith is Doctor of Human Sexuality (Intimalogist™ – Certified Intimacy Expert) and certified by the American College of Sexologists. An Intimalogist specialises in helping people connect with deeper levels of intimacy in their personal and sexual lifestyles by re-educating how they are able love and be loved. Dr. Kat Smith helps you look into the roadblocks and experiences that are preventing you from moving forward with your life and specialises in the area of sexual trauma recovery.

Through Dr. Kat Smiths well known appearances on Ted X, Good Morning America, Fox News and The 33, she has been able to become a voice for people who have experienced molestation, sexual assault and abuse. This is extremely important to spread awareness and understanding on a topic which can be incredibly difficult to talk about. Dr. Kat Smith had said

“Through my own traumatic history of molestation and rape, I know first hand what you are feeling, thinking and what may be blocking you from receiving and giving love at its fullest potential. Learning to seize your own pleasure and please your love has to be free of guilt, fear and past hurts. Letting go of the beliefs and experiences that stifle your sexual expression and intimacy is key in laying the foundation for your relationship.

By nurturing physical health, emotional intimacy and spiritual growth, I feel we can remove the confusion and discover the saboteurs that often times holds us back. By doing so we open up to cultivate a more holistic and healthy view of sexuality and love”.

She runs seminars, counselling, workshops, media events, individual sessions and couples sessions. The sessions can be run online, on the phone or in person.

Dr Kat Smith America's Intimacy Expert
Image: Dr Kat Smith Banner

Tell me about yourself

I have been helping couples repair relationships through intimacy re-education for over a decade. I earned a doctorate in Human Sexuality, I am a practicing Intimalogist™ (Certified Intimacy Expert), and a published authority on sexuality and relationships.

I am also an international expert who co-hosted two syndicated radio shows on ABC Radio Networks, Inc. and have been a guest expert on GMA, Huff Post Live, Good Morning Texas, WFAA Daybreak, KDFW Fox4, KDAF, CW33, and Ted Talks.

What is Intimalogy?

No one was really using this term and most people usually think of Entomology which is the study of bugs. But I’m not into the creepy crawlers even though I can bug the hell out of people.

Intimalogy as I explain it is the study of intimacy and all its intricacies as the foundation of our relationships. I refer to myself as an Intimalogist™ to draw more attention to intimacy as opposed to sex because I feel intimacy is so much more than just sexual intercourse.

What inspired you to become an Intimalogist?

I am a survivor of molestation and rape and always believed that because I came through my experiences with the ability to communicate and articulate how it feels to be violated and betrayed that I should use it to help others. I began with my radio show and it has grown from there. Personally, I have gone on to develop loving, caring healthy and satisfying relationships and I can help others do the same.

How does intimacy impact a person’s sexual lifestyle?

First there is the need to re-educate that intimacy and sex are not the same thing and there is much confusion surrounding the two. Intimacy, as I describe in my book the ABCs of Intimacy, is the nurturing, affection, respect, support, trust, communication, and more and yes sex is a component, but it lasts on average 7 minutes (okay, not including the fore and after play). I ask what are you doing with the rest of your time to truly connect with the one you love?

Sex is the beautiful physical expression of the lust, desire, passion or attraction we feel for another. Intimacy enhances and enriches the sexual experience by adding the emotional, mental and even spiritual aspects. We all can have sex with no attachments and that makes it strictly physical, but when you want something more or feel that something is missing, its intimacy. That connectedness.

What inspires you?

I am touched by so many people, their work or life examples. If I had to give one it would be Oprah because she seems to walk the path of survivor and inspire others to growth and enlightenment.

I am self-inspired and I try to live my life by this quote by C Rearie –

“When passion and skill come together you create a masterpiece.”

I want to inspire and teach people the skills to create masterpieces in their intimate lives.

Why does trauma have such a huge impact on a person’s sexuality, relationship and lifestyle?

Because it is one of the life experiences that create beliefs. It, along with religion, culture, race, society, the media, gender and more influence what I call our Love Perspective™ – how we view love, sex and romance. We have to sift through all our beliefs and habits to find our truth and in many cases grieve after trauma, because we lose a lot about the person we were before. For each individual that happens over time and for many it can take decades.

Trauma changes our brains and even our senses. We see this evident in PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Trauma affects how we feel about ourselves, others how we interact and if we feel worthy of love. We feel less lovable or less love ABLED – disabling love and intimacy in our lives. That is until we are given the tools to heal and rebuild each facet of our being so that we are once again radiant.

How do people learn how to let go of the experiences that hold them back?

They begin by examining the experiences that impact our lives for truth. Because of our Love Perspective™ we see things a certain way and it maybe due to how our parents taught us to believe.

We try to mask or cover up our garbage, but somehow the stench reminds us that we need to deal with it and get rid of it for good. That is what happened to me. I tried to stuff my pain down so far that it would go away, but it kept showing up in my behaviors until I finally dealt with me.

The late Lena Horne once said –

“Its not the load that breaks us down, it how you carry it.”

One of the reasons I feel so fulfilled about my work is that I can help people lift that burden and leave it for their own good.

What does therapy involve?

Therapy is individualized. I let the client dictate how we will work together. It may involve repeat exposure for trauma or learning communication skills or what is desired for sexual satisfaction for couples having some challenges. I have a lengthy intake questionnaire that I have each client fill out so that I can assess prior to our session and then we determine their needs from there. All of this happens in a safe and comfortable environment. It is imperative that they feel at ease and confident that I can help them with such intimate concerns.

What services do you offer?

Private sessions for individuals and couples, In Home Therapy, family group therapy in the form of a Love Infusion™ and An Evening with Dr Kat which is an entertaining appearance at the customer’s event such as a bridal shower, slumber party or wine tasting. I also have an online school – School of Intimate Knowledge™ (@IntimateKnow) for classes on an array of topics.

What is the 30 Day Power Challenge?

Since my goal is to re-educate people about intimacy, the 30 Day Power Challenge helps you tone and build your intimacy muscles. It begins with 30 days of tips and information to help you create deep intimacy and reconnect romantically. It’s my gift to anyone who joins my list by becoming one of my IntiMates™ – a member of my exclusive list who receive information and freebies that I don’t share anywhere else. If after the 30 days, you want to unsubscribe you certainly can do so.

Intimacy Challenge
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Are there any questions of information you would like to add to the article?

Use my website DrKatSmith.com as a source for information. Feel free to read my blog posts and listen to Intimate Pleasures Podcast on Wednesdays 12 noon CST. I share valuable insight along with guests to help you navigate emotional waters and the journey to true intimacy.

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

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