Finding Your Partners Sexual Fetish

A fetish is something which arouses a person but deviates from normal sexual expectations. A fetish can be seen as a personal eccentricity. It is believed that a lot of people have a fetish or may develop one over time. There are many different types of fetishes even celebrities have fetishes.

But why is it important to understand your partner’s fetish?

By taking your time to understand someone’s fetish it will bring them feelings of acceptance, trust and love. These feelings allow the person to fulfill their strong psychological and social need to belong. When they feel they belong in a place in society, they are able to explore their fetish by themselves or in a safe environment with you.

We must be able to tolerate the fetish by decently living aside it. Acceptance is much more than tolerance; we don’t simply just tolerate the fetish but we say that the fetish is okay.  Acceptance is when we are able to live with the person’s fetish and we do not try to change it or argue against it. When we move past acceptance, we are able to understand someone’s fetish. This can be done by taking your time to think about the topic and then communicating or managing social interactions in a respectful and unprejudiced manner.  If you have a live-and-let-live attitude you will easily be able to accept other people’s views. This attitude will assist you to get along with other people.

Your partner must be able to trust you to disclose their fetish to you. Trust is important because people have had their trust broken by a violation of an agreement that may have mentally injured them. For example, there is an agreement between people in a relationship that they must care for the other person. After they disclose their fetish to you; Maybe their fetish was that they watch tentacle porn or maybe they like dressing up as a furry. In response, you may have accidentally humiliated them. They may then feel a sense of betrayal. When the humiliation is left unaddressed, they may develop hurt feelings.  Betrayal of agreements will occur in any relationship. When it occurs you must be able to take responsibility for your actions, apologies whilst deeply feeling remorse.

Porn Parodies
Image: The Doctor Porn Parody

To trust one another, we must learn about them and they must learn about us. It is not about putting the best version of yourself forward. It is about consciously being honest with who you are which includes your eccentricities, natures and habits. In this case, trust is built on these very human qualities.  This means your new definition of trust is that you may unintentionally hurt each other, though each of you will take responsibility for your actions and then work towards improving your relationship in a loving environment.

If you are in a loving long term relationship, when you touch your partner their fear response gets turned off and their stress levels are relieved. They are instantly comforted by your familiarity and soothed. The loss of stress and inhibition allows them to feel aroused more easily. This environment provides your partner with a feeling of safety.

Safety is the one ingredient that allows people the freedom of sexual exploration, imagination and play. When people feel safe and ready, they can allow themselves to open up to you. Safety is incredibly important, especially when used alongside BDSM which is one of the most popular fetishes.

Questions to ask a lover who has a fetish

Once they have opened up to you, it is important to ask them questions about their fetish so that you can gain enough knowledge about their preferences. The questions may include:

  • What is the name of your fetish?
  • What is the fetish about?
  • How long have you had this fetish for?
  • When did you know you had this fetish?
  • What do you like most about the fetish?
  • What are you psychologically attracted to in the fetish?
  • Are there other aspects of the fetish you don’t like?
  • How often do you think about the fetish?

Experiment or find a workable compromise

You can take your time to tolerate, accept, understand, build trust and provide a loving environment for them to explore their fetish privately by themselves or find a workable compromise or if you would like to take the opportunity to explore it with them in your sexual interactions through role play, costumes, literotica, pornography and sex toys like bondage and fetish gear.

On the other hand, it is also important to be aware of someone else’s fetish as sadly, sometimes people don’t share the same level of enthusiasm for the fetish or the fetish may cause distress through the harm of others. In this case, it is important to question your long term compatibility so that everyone in the situation is taken care of.

Author: Elaine is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle CentresSave

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