The Stupid Things People Do: Male Masturbation!

We never thought this story could be topped but it appears it has.  Read on and you will question

whether you believe it or not!

In June of 2014 a Chinese man by the name of Lian Tien remaining exceptionally embarrassed after his genitals became stuck in a pipe leaving him for an entire two days at a building site. Lian Tien told reporters and Police that his reason for getting into one of the world’s most uncomfortable situations and the world was astonished by his answer. –

“It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result. I thought that no-one would believe me and I tried everything I could think of to get the damned thing off once it had got stuck. I cut it from the wall and tried pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides but my manhood was so tightly wedged that nothing dripped down. I went to sleep thinking that if I relaxed it would slide off. But it didn’t. It began to get red and inflamed. I was worried that I would get a terrible infection.”

The 61 year old Chinese man declared that his genitals were stuck in the pipe as it was sticking out. The pipe was previously used to pour water from the building’s ventilation. At the same time he thought no-one would be able to believe his story as it appeared to be to far fetched and he didn’t want to lose his job. He hid in the building for two days but his genitals were getting swollen from the friction of the pipe and his body started to get a fever, he knew this was not a situation he could maintain for a long time. Soon after he got the fever, he called an ambulance, who suggested they require the fire department’s help to get him out of this situation. Firefighters in Quanzhou City took four hours to cut him away from the piping around Mr Lian’s privates.

Doctor Dewei Yuan who treated Mr Tien said:

“The parts became swollen so severely that there was nothing more we could do, and we needed to call for help. “

Stuck Penis
Penis Stuck

So these Chinese must be frisky buggers as on 2 June of 2017 a man got his

penis ‘accidently’ stuck in a wrench!

The 37 year old bachelor from the the eastern Zhejiang Province was brought to the Taizhou Hospital after his parents had called the firebrigade as their son had his penis caught in a wrench.  The Linhai Fire Brigade attended armed with an angle grinder but determined that the operation would have to be performed more delicately bringing him to the hospital.  Apparently the penis had been stuck in the wrench for more than a day and had swelled – no reason was given as to why the man had put his penis in a wrench ring except that it was an accident.

Doctors at the hospital were unclear as how to remove the penis from the ring until a specialist who had studied a similar case at a seminar called in two local dentists.  The dentists armed with dental drills managed to move the ring after a 30 minute operation.

Surely the Chinese are aware that there are many safe masturbation techniques!

Penis Wrench
Jelqing gone wrong

We think this is most common and when people say that they accidentally just put something up their rear ends do we believe them?   Hospital departments gets their fare share of these sorts of incidents on a daily basis.

What Goes Up A Butt

At this time there are plenty of other incredible stories of what people have accidentally placed up their arse-holes, vaginas, penises, ears and noses. From frozen peas, to old Nokia vibrating mobiles placed inside condoms, cucumbers and much more. Sometimes thing’s that work for other people end up not working for others.  For most of us home products or food products are not made to sexually satisfy peoples cravings. Things like vegetables, children’s playthings, nail scissors, buzz light years, and glasses and a lot more have been inserted into peoples backsides.

I’m able to see the funny side about placing these unusual objects up a rear end but somehow just wonder what some of these people were thinking as they inserted a toy car up there.  Sure I understand phallic things like carrots or cucumbers with no harmful edges and as a substitute for the real thing but why place a set of spectacles or glass bottle.  As one surgeon put it –


“After more than 30 years in surgery, I am awed at what individuals will do to themselves. I have so far seen: a candle, lights, batteries, chop sticks, a cushion, hair curler, and even a container of Edge Shaving Cream (the 33% more in the can). I hope that he noticed that the shaving cream was the “33% more in the can” just so that there was 33% more to remove.”




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