Hitting On Women, A Guide

So we all love going out and trying to find someone, whether that be a romantic partner (or partners, am I right?), or just a cute little one night stand. But with COVID-19 and the constantly growing and evolving of dating apps, we all might be a bit out of touch with how to hit on each other, keep it appropriate, and make sure everyone is comfortable. It can sometimes be a super fine line between having a good flirt and a laugh and being called the harasser of the day in the group chat. I’m going to go through a few “safe bet boundaries” where you can safely bet that it’ll come across creepy if you cross them.

Cat calling:

You’ll get the occasional woman who says they love being cat called and that it let’s them know they look good that day. But I can tell you right now the majority of women purely feel uncomfortable in this situation, it’s not fun to have people yelling at you from a car in any circumstance, but being yelled at purely to be objectified? It’s not gonna get you laid… As much as you think it might the chances are super unlikely. There’s something about men yelling out of a car window at me that just makes my blood boil, and the amount of times I’ve heard them yell out “she’s a bitch bro” after not responding or giving them the finger. Don’t be that guy.

Grabbing a Woman’s Ass:

Look, I really wish this was common sense but the number of times this has happened to me is simply unbelievable. I don’t particularly want to be grabbed anywhere without being asked first… Especially not my ass. This is a certified way to get hit in most regards. It shows a clear lack of respect for the person you’re grabbing, and honestly, I don’t know why people think that they have a right to do this.

Starting Up A Conversation:

This one is all dependant on how you deal with it honestly. If a girl’s busy doing something, probably not the best way to go about it (I’m talking to you: dudes who hit on women in the middle of a gym sesh, just trying to do their job, have headphones on.). If someone looks like they DO NOT want to be interrupted just ignore the urge to chat, you’ll probably not get a great response anyway due to taking them away from what they were doing. However, if you do go for it be mindful to respect their boundaries and take no for an answer if that’s what you’re presented with.  There’s only a few things worse than having a man not take no for an answer, and while you may think it’s cute and showing “persistence” this isn’t a job interview, persistence isn’t always good in the situation… A lot of women I know will start to feel incredibly unsafe in this situation and will not find your persistence charming at all.


I just really want to make sure this gets through everyone’s head… We are there to do our jobs, we are being nice to you because customer service is what we get paid to do, we are not here to flirt with you or be flirted with, unless you have the CLEAREST of signals just let us work in peace, please!  Maybe we sell sex toys but we are not there for you to live out your fantasies on us.

Social Media:

This is all so dependant on how you go about it, for example: hearing someone’s name once while you’re shopping at their place of work and then proceeding to find all of their social media’s, their phone number, and messaging them 3 times, not getting a response, messaging another 4 times, and then messaging over 20 times through other socials and then finally finding their phone number and messaging them via that when you don’t get a response is not the way to go about it. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience here, it just makes us very uncomfy, and even unsafe in our own work place sometimes, it’s not fun or flattering.

I’m not saying don’t ever try to flirt with a woman, but honestly almost any of these methods are going to get you a swift no or a pissed of look. Just learn how to read the room, don’t assume a lady is enjoying the conversation and interaction just because you are, that’s not how it works.

It can be a weird and difficult field to go through, but honestly as long as you’re respectful of women and boundaries it isn’t too much to handle! Best bet, compliments (not about tits and ass), be respectful, be nice, take no for an answer if need be, and just don’t be a dick, plain and simple.


Happy flirting!

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