Hitting On Women, A Guide

picking up women

So we all love going out and trying to find someone, whether that be a romantic partner (or partners, am I right?), or just a cute little one night stand. But with COVID-19 and the constantly growing and evolving of dating apps, we all might be a bit out of touch with how to hit on each other, keep it appropriate, and make sure everyone is comfortable. It can sometimes be a super fine line between having a good flirt and a laugh and being called the harasser of the day in the group chat. I’m going to go through a few “safe bet boundaries” where you can safely bet that it’ll come across creepy if you cross them.

Cat calling:


You’ll get the occasional woman who says they love being cat called and that it let’s them know they look good that day. But I can tell you right now the majority of women purely feel uncomfortable in this situation, it’s not fun to have people yelling at you from a car in any circumstance, but being yelled at purely to be objectified? It’s not gonna get you laid… As much as you think it might the chances are super unlikely. There’s something about men yelling out of a car window at me that just makes my blood boil, and the amount of times I’ve heard them yell out “she’s a bitch bro” after not responding or giving them the finger. Don’t be that guy.

Grabbing a Woman’s Ass:


Look, I really wish this was common sense but the number of times this has happened to me is simply unbelievable. I don’t particularly want to be grabbed anywhere without being asked first… Especially not my ass. This is a certified way to get hit in most regards. It shows a clear lack of respect for the person you’re grabbing, and honestly, I don’t know why people think that they have a right to do this.

Starting Up A Conversation:


This one is all dependant on how you deal with it honestly. If a girl’s busy doing something, probably not the best way to go about it (I’m talking to you: dudes who hit on women in the middle of a gym sesh, just trying to do their job, have headphones on.). If someone looks like they DO NOT want to be interrupted just ignore the urge to chat, you’ll probably not get a great response anyway due to taking them away from what they were doing. However, if you do go for it be mindful to respect their boundaries and take no for an answer if that’s what you’re presented with.  There’s only a few things worse than having a man not take no for an answer, and while you may think it’s cute and showing “persistence” this isn’t a job interview, persistence isn’t always good in the situation… A lot of women I know will start to feel incredibly unsafe in this situation and will not find your persistence charming at all.

AT HER JOB:


I just really want to make sure this gets through everyone’s head… We are there to do our jobs, we are being nice to you because customer service is what we get paid to do, we are not here to flirt with you or be flirted with, unless you have the CLEAREST of signals just let us work in peace, please!  Maybe we sell sex toys but we are not there for you to live out your fantasies on us.

Social Media:


This is all so dependant on how you go about it, for example: hearing someone’s name once while you’re shopping at their place of work and then proceeding to find all of their social media’s, their phone number, and messaging them 3 times, not getting a response, messaging another 4 times, and then messaging over 20 times through other socials and then finally finding their phone number and messaging them via that when you don’t get a response is not the way to go about it. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience here, it just makes us very uncomfy, and even unsafe in our own work place sometimes, it’s not fun or flattering.

I’m not saying don’t ever try to flirt with a woman, but honestly almost any of these methods are going to get you a swift no or a pissed of look. Just learn how to read the room, don’t assume a lady is enjoying the conversation and interaction just because you are, that’s not how it works.

It can be a weird and difficult field to go through, but honestly as long as you’re respectful of women and boundaries it isn’t too much to handle! Best bet, compliments (not about tits and ass), be respectful, be nice, take no for an answer if need be, and just don’t be a dick, plain and simple.

 

Happy flirting!

My OnlyFans Experience

only fans income

Another OnlyFans article? By the same person? What a crazy idea, it’s almost like my life is work and then sexy work!

I’ve been an OnlyFans creator for about 6 months now, did I start due to the pandemic? No, I started because I made an impulse buy of lingerie that was way out of my budget and decided I’d make the lingerie pay for itself, which is incredibly on brand for me as a person.

When I started I had about 2 toys and a few sets of lingerie, and took your standard nude selfies that you’d send to your tinder matches or your boyfriend; let me tell you how I’ve stepped up my game to keep my fans coming back 😉

Tech:

One of the first things I bought for my photos was a ringlight, it’s only small and I will be upgrading in the new year. Believe it or not LIGHTING IS EVERYTHING, this will change your photos in ways you won’t believe. Having a ringlight means you can choose where the light is coming from and how it will hit you, meaning you can choose exactly how your body looks on camera.
I also bought LED strip lights, being able to change the background colour of my shots is so fun and different, it can give the same outfit a tonne of different vibes with the click of a button. It also removes the need to have a ceiling light on, which removes having light shining directly down on you which isn’t flattering on anyone. They’re also super cheap which is awesome considering how much money you’ll make off them.

You need to get good at adding photos, removing shadows from where you don’t want them, fixing the lighting, removing blemishes if you want to (I find that my audience likes the more natural vibe because it makes it feel more realistic, but that’s just my boys).

Interactions:

Not everyone realises this when they start but you do need to be in touch with your subscribers, they’re not there just for the porn and the photos, as men always say “you can get that for free”. These fans usually love feeling connected to you so you need to be interacting with them, responding to your DM’s, doing deals for your top paying subs, gifts every now and again. Just keep in touch with them, make sure they feel special, after all they are paying for your content and bills.

Keep your personality:

My content isn’t always super serious and sexy, sometimes it’s me dancing around, having a laugh, just looking cute.
I once made $150 by telling people to tip me if they thought I was “smexilicious”, I posted it as a joke and they came through, maybe because they love to pay me, more than likely because I’m having fun with my content.
Occasionally I post photos of me with my car because I like my car, I love feeling like someone from The Fast & The Furious.
It’s just important to keep your content you, it’s what sets you apart from everyone else!

Outfits:

My outfits are usually mostly black, I used the same lingerie over and over again, but now I have that many I can rotate through them and no one realises I’ve worn them before. My go to is usually bodysuits because they flatter my body nicely and they’re easy to switch out of because I take a month’s worth of content in one night most times.
Recently, however, I have started leaning into lighter coloured two pieces, I have braces and glasses so leaning into the teen category really does boost my numbers sometimes, and it’s just a nice change from constantly being all black everything!

Conversations:

If you can’t hold a conversation there’s really no point, these guys want a connection as stated above. Being able to check in and tell them how your day’s been, ask them how there’s has been, talk about stuff like you know them is going to get you so far.
If these guys are sending you DM’s and getting one word responses or left on read constantly they really aren’t going to be happy, afterall they are paying a certain amount every month to be a part of this and it’s not all about the content.

 

I think the most important thing I’ve learnt so far is to keep doing new things, keep switching it up so that everyone’s having fun (including me!!), it’s work and it can be tiring sometimes; but as long as you’re enjoying it and keeping them happy it will be one of the easier jobs you can do.
I always have an extra bit of income (how much extra I have that week is dependant on how hard I hustle), and have an excuse to be hot and have a good old fashioned orgasm. 😉

Sex Toy Materials vs Lube

sex toy 101

Going into buying sex toys can be scary enough if you’ve never gone into a sex shop (it shouldn’t be, all workers at the best adult shops in Sydney are amazing, helpful, open minded, and just want you to have good orgasms), and then when faced with all the choices of lubes it can be overwhelming, not knowing what’s safe with what is another hurdle, so here are the common materials and what they can be used with, with the added bonus of how they should be stored and cleaned!

You would be amazed what are the most popular sex toys in Australia!

Silicone – smooth, no real smell or taste, some with a silky finish. Medical grade silicone is body-safe and is 100% hypoallergenic with no latex or phthalate.
Lubes: safe with water-based, oil-based, and hybrid lubes. (Extremely high quality is safe with silicone lube, Colours triple density dongs are safe.)
Cleaning: 100% silicone can be boiled, others should be washed with a toy cleaner!

Glass – most are made from the same glass as Pyrex, they are heat resistant and shatterproof. They are smooth and sturdy and perfect for temperature play. Glass is incredibly skin safe but be sure to check for cracks and fractures before each used!
Lube: Glass is safe with all lubes.
Cleaning: Can be washed with toy cleaner and water, or even thrown in the dishwasher, or boiled.

Plastic – most commonly made with ABS (the same material as LEGO), used for it’s cheap production value, these toys may be blended with latex. These are hard with no distinct smell or taste. Generally a skin safe material but could be blended with phthalates and latex, which are common allergens and harmful to skin.
Lubes: safe to use with all lube types
Cleaning: can be cleaned with sex toy cleaner, anti-bacterial soap and water, or through boiling.

PVC – man made plastic, can be hard or more flexible, has an intense plastic smell and more often than not contains phthalates and latex so isn’t the most body-safe option in the world.
Lubes: this material should be used with water-based lubes only, as oil and silicone can melt the material.
Cleaning: rigid PVC is non-porous and very easy to clean, flexible PVC can be porous so may be harder to clean. Store these toys away from other materials and preferably in their own casing to avoid chemical reactions and damage to toys.

TPE – the material used to create Real Feel, Cyberskin, Softskin, or Ultraskin. Frequently used for male masturbators. Realistically fleshlike, warms to the touch, incredibly flexible, due to it’s softness it isn’t a great option for vibrators as it can weaken vibrations. Can tend to have a rubbery smell and taste. TPE is non-toxic but is porous so it’s prone to bacterial growth, and can be mixed with product softeners which can be allergens.
Lubes: use water-based only with this material.
Cleaning: as this is a porous material it can be hard to clean, best to use just water and a toy cleaner.
This should be kept away from other toys in storage to be on the safe side. Any discolouration can be a sign of growing mould in the pores of the material, so throw it away. These toys should be replaced every 5 months.

Metal – usually made from medical grade stainless steel, they can occasionally be mixed with other metals (such as nickel WHICH SOME PEOPLE ARE ALLERGIC TO), so be sure to check this. These toys are rigid and smooth but perfect for temperature play, higher densities are good for weighted and pressure play.
Lubes: all lubes are safe to be used with metal! 😊
Cleaning: this is a non-porous material which makes cleaning a breeze, toy cleaner, soap, dishwasher, or boiling all work.

Wood – if made correctly these toys are beautifully smooth with a non-toxic resin coating to prevent splinters. The weight and look will depend on what kind of wood was used to create the toy. If made correctly these toys are super body safe and environmentally friendly. Some manufacturers use scrap wood which is great for conserving rainforests.
Lubes: wood is safe with all lubes, due to it’s smooth finish you only need a small amount.
Cleaning: best washed with just water to prolong life, be sure to check for any damage before and after each use.

Rubber – one of the cheapest materials, will be flexible with a very strong rubber smell and chemical taste. To ensure body safety it is strongly recommended to use a condom with rubber toys as they often contain phthalates which can be harmful to the skin. (They have produced body safe rubber recently but it is not widespread).
Lubes: best used with just water-based, however if using a condom with rubber silicone is okay to be used.
Cleaning: best washed with soap and water and stored away from other materials, just to avoid chemical reaction with other toys.

 

My personal favourite lube is the Wicked Hybrid as it’s super vagina friendly and can be used with most toy materials out there, it has the benefits of the longevity and silkiness of a silicone lube, but the easy cleanup of a water-based!

The Lovense Domi 2

lovense sex toys

So ever since I’ve heard of the brand Lovense, I’ve wanted to try it, when I found out it’d be coming into the store, I almost lost my mind and the second the order dropped in store I bought the Domi 2, no questions asked. Lovense has thought of anything and everything when it comes to online sex work and the toys to come with it, the ability to let others play, the ability to connect other toys, but my favourite part: the ability to make money and play games with your fans on camming sites.

 

Now Lovense has a wide range of sex toys to choose from, the Lush, which is an internal wearable vibrator (yes, the one in all the pornos) this comes as the Lush original an the Lush 2, the Hush; a vibrating buttplug that comes in 2 sizes a 1.5” and a 1.75”, as well as the Edge which is perfectly shaped for males to get prostate stimulation along with a good vibration on the perineum (taint, gooch, all that goodness). The Ambi which is a cute little pink bullet, but with the added benefit of a little handle to hold onto and two sides that give different stimulations, a small side that gives incredible pin point vibrations and a larger side that has its power more spread out.

There is the Osci 2 which is a beautiful g-spot toy that, rather than vibrating like most, actually oscillates (fancy word for moving back and forth) to give you a whole new level of pinpointed g-spot stimulation. Of course, we cannot forget the Max 2 and the Nora which are a male masturbator and a rabbit style vibrator respectively, these are great for solo play but the best part is they are completely interactive with each other from anyway in the world, making long distance relationships a hell of a lot easier.

Now, I got the Domi 2 because I’m a wand girl through and through, there’s not much that does me better than a wand will and I will die on that hill.

What won me over with this bad boy was a few things, but childishly enough it was the ability to customise the led that shows you what power level you’re at… This automatically comes set on multicoloured but you have the option of hat, red, pink, yellow, green, turquoise etc. But my all time favourite colour is green, it’s plastered throughout my car, so the second I realised this was an option I basically threw my money at it.

But back to the actual tech things that people care about. This wand can be hooked up to your phone (as can any of Lovense’s products), you can control the speed, the patterns, create your own, and invite partners to play. The built in text messaging system helps to build the mood as you can message (bit of dirty talk anyone?), photos, and voice memos. This is an awesome build up to anything you’ll be doing later 😉
You can also voice call and video call through the app as well, making long distance (or camming) a lot easier!

The wand can be used on it’s own with built in speed settings and patterns, a WHOPPING 370 minute max run time, and absolutely no vibrations felt in the handle, it is by far my favourite product I have bought in a long time. Even being on the lowest setting it’s one of the stronger wands I’ve felt in this size. The head of the wand in slightly bendable so you can make it work for you no matter what.

 

The app boasts some of the best connectivity I’ve seen in an app controlled toy, with absolutely no issues I’ve come across. You are able to completely customise your experience, creating your own patterns, hooking it up to music, making it so it vibrates in time to whatever comes through the microphone, it’s brilliant the things you can do with this one, they have thought of almost everything with this range.

Not only does Lovense boast amazing inclusivity with the instructions reading “he/she/they” when discussing those who use it (yes that made my heart melt when I read it), but they are also really going above and beyond for online sex workers.
They have a separate app that will help you with all your camming needs, including vibrations set off by tips, a little tip based Keno game, and many more exciting features that blow most other app controlled toys out of the water, but they’ve created a 3rd app for computers that make it so that you can set vibration patterns for videos you make and that way anyone who has a Lovense toy can feel included in the video.

 

I had high expectations going into buying this toy and using the app for the first time and they have absolutely blown me away, I’m so excited to continue to use their products and explore their camming options once I get a few more exciting toys. Let’s be honest, I say the Domi 2 is for work, but it’s mostly for me!
The advice I will leave you with is this: even if you think you don’t need Lovense in your life; YOU DO!