Healing after cheating, delve into a comprehensive exploration of transformative methods and insightful strategies aimed at guiding you through the delicate process of healing after experiencing infidelity in your relationship.
Healing After Cheating
When I was younger I thought that if any partner ever cheated on me then that would be it. Over! Finito! I also thought I would never cheat on anyone, ever, ever, ever. One time though I got particularly drunk at a party and kissed someone behind my boyfriend’s back. I was absolutely mortified, with myself. I was so racked with guilt and remorse. I cried all the next day about what I had done.
There was absolutely no chance my boyfriend of a year and a half, my first love, would have discovered it. But I was utterly inconsolable. When my mum asked what was troubling me, I confided in her. Her response was dismissive, advising me to forget about it and ensure he never found out. Naturally, I stopped crying and immediately called him.
Anyway, long story short, that was the stupidest thing I could have done. The trust was gone between us and even though he forgave me, he completely didn’t forgive me in the slightest. The lesson here is not only to always listen to your Mum! Being unfaithful can happen to anyone and can have different outcomes depending on how you deal with it.
Did you know most marital affairs don’t actually end in divorce?
They can end up making your bond stronger. In some relationships the stakes can be really high so it is important not to react like I did but maybe step back and examine why it happened in the first place. For instance had I accepted my betrayal may be down to bottle of vodka I had consumed, I may have acted differently. Keeping it to myself and learning the lesson that doing bad things makes me feel bad would have produced a better outcome.
What is cheating?
What constitutes cheating to one might not be the same for the other. While I might think actually having sex is cheating someone else might think sending someone a rude selfie or creating a secret email is enough. It is actually the betrayed person’s views on this that are most important. If you feel that your partner has betrayed you then it is really up to you to think about what you can do to make the partnership work.
How Can Couples Navigate Healing After Cheating?
The main thing is whatever has come between you, even if it’s a 30 year long affair, it doesn’t have to be the end, as I mentioned it usually isn’t. It feels like the worst thing in the world at the time. Most people would rate it as one of life’s most traumatic events. However there is always the opportunity to turn a negative into a positive and learn something from what has happened, understand why cheating happens and improve the relationship.
It can sometimes even be the case that the very fact you have both survived such an awful thing makes you stronger. It is good to remember most affairs end. The secrecy and naughtiness is undoubtedly intoxicating and can make you feel so alive, but people are all human and come with baggage that eventually will reveal itself. its easy to get blindsided and choose only to see the things you want to see. It is easy to be the best person you know you can be on a part time basis.
What Strategies Promote Emotional Healing After Cheating?
When you are on the receiving end of a betrayal it can make you begin to doubt everything and question things you previously took for granted. It is important to remember that this happens to so very many people and while you might be thinking
‘How could this happen to me?’
Finding comfort in the prevalence of this situation, it’s reassuring to discover abundant support available. Even if seeking help isn’t your usual approach, recognize that during this time, your thoughts might be clouded. Seeking outside perspective can truly make a difference.
It is great to have the emotional loving support of friends, but they can often see things in black and white and influence your thinking . Sometimes it can be best to keep what has gone on to yourself or even stick to confiding in the type of people that believe that anyone can make a mistake.
How Does Trust Rebuild in the Journey of Healing After Cheating?
If you do decide to make a go of things again then it is going to take time. You can’t just suddenly return to how you were and if it takes a lot longer than you think it is going to then that is normal. There are going to be all sorts of things that come up and rather than throwing the towel in you have to try not to focus on bad events and focus more on whether the relationship is making progress positively in general.
It is like going through a breakup. You get over it when you get over it. Trust is such a hard thing to win back and true forgiveness happens in its own time you can’t force it.
The way to come back from an affair successfully is for both parties to self examine, and acknowledge the part played in what happened. Dwelling on the wrongs that have been done isn’t helpful. Forgiveness is something that has to be authentic and complete. You won’t ever forget of course, nor should you. Learn from the affair, If we were all the people we become in an affair, we wouldn’t want them in the first place.
Author: Emily is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres
The Psychology Behind Cheating
Infidelity, a breach of trust that often leaves emotional wreckage in its wake, has been a subject of interest for psychologists and relationship experts for decades. This article delves into the complex psychological dynamics that drive infidelity, providing insights that could shed light on why people cheat, even in seemingly healthy relationships.
Understanding Why People Cheat
Infidelity, or cheating, is a term that encompasses a range of actions that breach the trust and expectations of a romantic relationship. It can take many forms, from sexual affairs to emotional connections outside the relationship. Understanding the psychological mechanisms behind infidelity can offer insights into why some individuals cheat.
Key Psychological Factors in Infidelity
Cheating is often driven by a complex interplay of psychological factors. These can range from dissatisfaction in the current relationship, desire for novelty or excitement, low self-esteem, and even certain personality traits.
The Role of Dissatisfaction
One of the primary drivers of infidelity is dissatisfaction within the current relationship. This could stem from a lack of emotional or physical intimacy, unfulfilled needs, or unmet expectations. In such cases, individuals may seek what they lack in their relationship from someone else, leading to cheating.
Seeking Novelty and Excitement
The desire for novelty and excitement can also be a potent driver of infidelity. Over time, a relationship can fall into routine, and some individuals may crave novelty or excitement that they do not find in their current partnership. This desire can push them to seek out new romantic or sexual experiences outside their relationship.
Low Self-esteem and Infidelity
Low self-esteem can also contribute to infidelity. Individuals with low self-esteem may seek validation and affirmation from others to compensate for their feelings of unworthiness or insecurity. This can lead them to seek out extramarital affairs or relationships to boost their self-esteem.
Personality Traits and Infidelity
Certain personality traits, such as narcissism and Machiavellianism, have been linked to a greater likelihood of cheating. Individuals with these traits may lack empathy, prioritizing their needs over their partners’, which can lead to dishonesty.
The Psychology of Lying and Cheating
Cheating and lying often go hand in hand, as individuals who cheat often lie to conceal their actions. Understanding the psychology of lying can provide further insights into the dynamics of infidelity.
Why People Lie
People often lie for a variety of reasons. They may aim to avoid conflict, protect someone’s feelings, or create a favorable image of themselves. In the context of infidelity, lying typically serves to hide the truth and avoid negative consequences.
Cognitive Processes Involved in Lying
Lying requires cognitive effort as individuals need to suppress the truth and create and maintain a false narrative. Over time, some individuals may become adept at lying, experiencing less cognitive load when being dishonest.
The Intersection of Cheating and Lying
Cheating and lying are often interconnected, serving to enable or conceal the other. Once an individual starts to engage in these dishonest behaviors, they may find themselves trapped in a cycle of cheating and lying.
The Cycle of Dishonesty
Once an individual begins to cheat or lie, it can lead to a cycle of dishonesty. This cycle can perpetuate, with individuals continually lying to cover up their initial deceit or cheating. This continual cycle can strain relationships and erode trust.
The Impact on Relationships
Both cheating and lying can lead to a breakdown of trust in relationships. They can cause emotional distress, damage the bond between partners, and potentially lead to the end of the relationship. Trust, once broken, can be challenging to rebuild, and the emotional wounds inflicted by infidelity can take time to heal.
The Complexity of Cheating
The psychological underpinnings of cheating are complex and multifaceted, involving a range of factors from dissatisfaction and unmet needs to personality traits and cognitive processes. Understanding these dynamics can provide insights into why people cheat and how to address infidelity in relationships.
While infidelity can be devastating to relationships, understanding its causes and dynamics can offer insights that may help couples navigate these challenging situations. Recognizing the psychological factors at play can provide a starting point for addressing the issue, promoting healing, and rebuilding trust.
Remember, although understanding the psychology behind infidelity can provide valuable insights, it does not excuse or justify cheating. Infidelity is a breach of trust that can cause significant harm to both partners in a relationship. If you or your partner are struggling with issues related to infidelity, it may be beneficial to seek help from a professional counselor or therapist.
Jennifer is a marketer at Adultsmart! Embracing a non-judgmental stance, she believes in pleasure without limits—if it feels good and right, why not?