Oh My God! That Penis Is Tooo BIG For My Bottom.

You are gay and you have a boyfriend. You are together and have feelings for each other deeply while feeling you are on your way to love. You experience just one problem though. He has a big thick dick. Giving him oral sex isn’t a problem but it’s just not going inside of you. This can cause pressure on the relationship as you both experience sexual frustration – that’s not to say you’re not having sex. Just, you’re having all of it. You’ve tried the various relaxation techniques. You’ve tried lubricant. You’ve tried different positions and it’s still not happening. Well, here’s the deal. Even though you think you’re relaxed you might not be, you might actually be quite fearful of the size of it and you might unconsciously find it intimidating to deal with. So what else can you do to make it easier?

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Yes, it can certainly need a little care and practice to take a big penis inside especially if you haven’t had one for a while. One great way to practice and get back into ‘shape’ is to take incrementally sized anal toys to slowly stretch and relax your muscles again. Lube up the toy, relax a little and try again. If you’re feeling pain that’s a sign you could be causing damage. By slowly increasing the size of the toy you can take smaller steps as opposed to simply going from 1 to a hundred with nothing in between. You can buy sex toys in packets of three, the sex toy will have a small, medium and large size so your body can get used of the size differences during foreplay and over the long term use of the products.

There are several numbing sprays on the market and whilst I do not normally recommend them – they can sometimes be useful. I usually do not recommend them excepting in rare cases because pain is a symptom, it is a reflection of when things aren’t going well and is the bodies natural reflex to protect itself. By taking away that ‘pain’ you could be unknowingly doing damage to yourself. Numbing sprays are commonly used to help assist in this problem. It is a good idea to go the same speed of sexual intercourse as before you used the numbing spray.

With your dildo or anal tool, use loads of lube and practice taking the big penis or dildo inside in the way that is right for you. This means both in terms of technique and in terms of your opening up and relaxing physically and mentally. Lubrication will make you feel exited, it will make foreplay that much easier and if you are having a fun time time without any pain it will be penetration much more easier when you are ready.A technique that usually works is to push slightly with your anus against the dildo or penis and distract yourself either with some quality gay porn. That way, your anus will open up. Of course, you will need to know you’re clean inside when you do this. Douching can help with this, but may not be necessary. Experiment with how you sit, kneel, squat or stand as well as you might find some ways are easier than others.

Remind yourself, with the dildo, about what it is like being a bottom when having sex. Let your self go with the old feelings and get ready to enjoy them again. You might even want to do this with your partner there. He might feel a bit weird at the start of using the dildo on you, but when you’re loosened up you can start to have sex without the feeling that he’s hurting you. Basically, it’s not a question of forcing your anus to open out, more of allowing yourself the right frame of mind and using the right techniques. This will include the gay sex positions which allow you to open up most fully. Some say a deep missionary is best for this, while others prefer a doggy style position, with the ass really angled up from the lower back. So, by following these simple tips you and every gay man can now experience how great anal sex is.

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PJ Weir was employed at the Gay Exchange for over a decade and was a regular contributor to the blog. He is a gay activist and an advocate for same sex marriage. PJ is proud of his aboriginal descent and has remained in a long term relationship with his partner Darren.
PJ left work in late 2014 as his mother fell ill. He has moved to Queensland where he has become her full time carer.
Unfortunately the iconic Gay Exchange, Sydney’s first all gay adult store closed down in June of 2017 as the building was taken over by the State Transit Authority to build the new rail.

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