A Big Girl’s Guide to Casual Sex

Dating as a plus size girl has its challenges whether it’s online or off. Though women are supportive of each other, let’s be honest, plus size women have a completely different experience with dating than non-plus size women. Whether they’re looking for love or casual sex, there’s always one thing that’s the main focus: your body. Though having a bbw sex hookup is easy to have as a big girl, it’s important to find someone who’s not going to fetishize you, making you feel like an object rather than a person. And no one wants to feel like that when having sex. If you’re looking for casual sex, good thing you came to this guide.

 

Decide if this is really what you want

It doesn’t matter if you’re a plus size woman or not when it comes to this. Before engaging in casual sex, you really need to think whether or not this is something you want to try out. What are you really wanting? If you think casual sex will lead to love, you need to lower your expectations. Most people who are looking for casual sex are only interested in that. They’re not looking for love or a deep connection; they want to have sex.

 

Now, this doesn’t mean it’s bad. Casual sex can be a lot of fun, and a great way to experiment and explore your sexuality. You just need to make sure you’re on the same page as potential partners. If not, you’ll get your hopes up, and ultimately be disappointed in the end.

 

Don’t settle for just anyone

As a plus size woman, body image and self-acceptance is a struggle. Many BBW grew up being overweight for most of their lives, affecting their self-esteem and confidence. Fat acceptance and body positivity wasn’t encouraged growing up. On top of that, if you were overweight in high school, guys usually weren’t interested, leaving you to think, “I’m lucky if anyone will date me.” But that doesn’t mean you should settle for just anyone.

 

You’re a beautiful woman, and at the end of the day, you hold power in your hands. You make the decisions with your body, and who you want to have sex with. Don’t choose a guy just because he’s the first one or because you think he’ll be the only one. Make sure the man you want to have casual sex with shares a connection with you, and respects you. When it comes to standards, you need to create them for yourself. If you don’t, you won’t have good sex. And then what’s the point of having sex if you’re not enjoying it?

 

There’s being desired and being fetishized

You need to know the differences between being desired and being fetishized. Though it’s a fine line, you need to be able to point it out. If a man is encouraging weight gain, always referring to you as a BBW, and only talking about the size of your body, that’s fetishization. You don’t want to have sex with someone because they’re obsessed with the “fatness” of your body. Unless, of course, that’s your thing.

If you want to have great casual sex, they need to be interested in you. If they want to have sex with a big girl, well, they can do it with anyone. The fetishization of your body disconnects you from the actual sex itself. Instead of sharing an experience with someone, you’re used as a sex toy. The best partner for casual sex is someone who drives you crazy and vice versa.

 

Don’t put up with crap

Listen, just because it’s casual sex, doesn’t mean they can treat you with disrespect. If he’s giving you backhanded compliments, comments about your weight or any other fatphobia acts, you should not tolerate that. Remember, you’re the one who decides who you have sex with. If you’re not feeling good when you’re around him, ditch him. Your body isn’t going to be used as a punching bag. Nor are you going to let someone emotional abuse you. Create boundaries for yourself and stick to them. If he goes over your boundaries, well, as Ariana Grande said, thank you, next.

 

Work through any insecurities

Many big girls are insecure about their sexual experiences which is entirely understandable. Body positivity and fat acceptance are new movements. And when it comes to insecurities, these things don’t change overnight. But you can use casual sex as a way to work through these insecurities. For example, many big girls are worried about the men they sleep with being disappointed or disgusted by their bodies. This isn’t about them; this is about you and how you see yourself. When having casual sex, accept your flaws, and let them go. You’re deserving of sex and self-pleasure regardless of size.

 

Casual sex can be a fantastic experience as a way to explore your body, experiment sexually, and discover the things you enjoy. If you use these tips, they’ll help you better sex. And who doesn’t want to have great sex?  If you want an adult shop that specializes in big girl lingerie come to the Adult LIfestyle Center at Kogarah.

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