The True Expectations Of Love!

Love is a variety of different emotional and mental states that range from the deepest interpersonal affection to a simple pleasure. Being loved and appreciated brings that feeling of being someone special. In a checklist of life, it stands out to be a significant checkpoint for some people, an important milestone, in order to have a blissful and successful life.

When we look around we have a feeling that everyone is being loved by everyone and we wish to have what everyone else especially when it comes to love. We see in different forms of media, couples in relationships exchanging words like “I love you sweetheart”, “I love you honey”, “I love you baby” and other similar phrases. We feel we are supposed to have that love and that love will surely make us cheerful. But does it?

If a husband forgets his wife’s birthday she starts thinking his love has diminished. If he doesn’t pay attention to her hairdo or doesn’t compliment her new attire, she nurtures doubts about his love for her. If a wife has a long conversation on phone with an office colleague horizontal lines appear on a husband’s forehead. Her omnipresence on social sites may have an adverse impression on his mind.  The words:

“He loves me, he loves me not.”

“She loves me, she loves me not.”

These words are a constant turmoil going on in the mind.

The Signs Of Love Is Not A Check Point Or A Tick Box

Thus love changes form and becomes a check point or a tick box that must be ticked if all is well or crossed out if it deviates from the trajectory. If love becomes a checkpoint, then it becomes a commodity, a thing to be bought in a mall, a possession and a status symbol.  When it is treated like a commodity, it becomes deceitful. So much so, people start expecting in return authentic love, unconditional love, pure and unadulterated love. Just like interest on the fixed deposits in the bank, dividends on shares and statutory bonus on a yearly salary.

This, then is not an honest transaction. People approach love like they are buying a smartphone. It must have three years warranty, unbreakable glass, latest operating system, dual camera, headphone socket and countless built-in memory. And oh, it should work trouble free! Ultimately seekers of such unconditional love become sad. Waking up each day, tearful and sobbing, not knowing or understanding why nobody has stuck around.

Love is not a checkpoint. It is not a checkbox. People are not objects. Neither are they commodities. People are living beings. They have flesh, blood, a heart and a mind. Treating them as merchandise certainly kills the desire, the wish, and the expectations of real love.

Couple looking to the future
Image: Loving couple

What Is True And Real Love?

Real love is a labor. A pledge, an effort, and a commitment. The same way as we do our job. Do we stick our business card on our forehead to announce who we are, just to tell people our title and designation? No.  Love is not a showpiece either. It is an investment made day by day.  Every day deeply caring for the other person. That is why love is hard to get. Good people cannot be chosen like it is done in a game of musical chairs. Good people are the privilege to have on your list. Treat them with respect. Reciprocate their feelings.

We reap as we sow, we get what we give and that includes treating other people honestly, with poise and esteem that we wish back in return.

What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.

This is what Don Juan had said.

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