Tragic Story Of The Man Child

You can call me “Misses Fix it”. I stayed in bad relationships constantly trying to fix something that was already broken, but here I am trying to understand what put me in that situation to begin with.

After being recently single for the past few months I have become aware of the types of men I seem to attract. After making a joke out of it to a few friends and work colleges I decided to use Google to find out if this actually is a thing or if it’s all in my head.

I was googling as to why I always seem to attract the same kind of men, even to the point where I can guess exactly the type of guys who have “swiped right” on Tinder. I was very against Tinder but after some pressuring from friends I decided to give it a go. It has actually become a game to me to see how many I’ve guessed correctly (I know this isn’t the specific use of Tinder but hey it’s fun).

I attracted heavily tattooed, muscles on muscles with a criminal history. The bigger the bad boy the more they seem to be drawn to me. Maybe I attract other types of guys but these ones seem to be more hesitant in approaching me or starting a conversation.

Now, I am not saying that all tattooed men, or men with muscles are bad, I am saying that if there is a bad one in the bunch (or multiple) they have their high beams on me. For example;

  • Man-child number one: A self-confessed bad boy, heavily tattooed with tattoos on the face, a serial liar and all his ex’s are apparently crazy.
  • Man-child number two: Again heavily tattooed, rides a motorbike, a self-confessed bad boy, very quick to over sexualise me, got rather angry and resulted in name calling when I did not match his sexualised talk and “brushed him off” nicely of course.
  • Man-child number three: Gym junkie, seemed normal, lots of muscles, pictures at the beach, decided early on after “hey” that I was in fact a piece of meat only…

I think you get the picture…

Man with tattoes
Image: Tattooed man

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and not everyone is attractive to the whole world, but when it comes to dating judgment initially is always based upon looks. It doesn’t matter if that person has substance; personality or a sense of humour, all that matters first is the level of attractiveness.

In fact, after a recent study found that 50% of people preference to faces were rather unique. Whom we find attractive is strongly influenced on our life experiences. Basically the study is saying that;

“If you were to rate faces [for attractiveness] and I were to rate the same faces, we would agree about 50% of the time”

Says study author Jeremy Wilmer, an assistant professor of psychology at Wellesley College whose new research was published Thursday in the journal Current Biology.

The whole point of the study was to understand why we find certain people attractive and others not; do life experiences and our view on life alter the way we define people. Prior research has found that we compare characteristics from positive people in lives with new people we meet and we automatically see them as attractive. Basically, who you find attractive is less about the demographics in which you grew up and more about your life experiences and your own unique journey through life.

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

The truth is that you don’t ATTRACT the wrong men, you ACCEPT the wrong men

And then it hit me… I was so blinded by all the wrong ones that I never let myself dive deeper for the nice guys. The ones who aren’t up front and show pony like. The ones that stand back in the shadows of mystery and wait for the others to go first… the gentleman. This could be the real difference between bad guys and good men.

Dating isn’t about committing straight away, it’s about getting to know someone and being able to walk away if they don’t treat you right. The truth is you’re going to attract lots of men, and most likely 95% of those men are going to be the wrong men. But you don’t have to accept them.

I crave stability, I crave normalcy, and I crave unconditional love and support… wouldn’t anyone?

It’s your job as a self-respecting woman is to leave and walk away if you’re not being treated correctly, it’s your job for your own dignity to put yourself first and don’t let someone else dictate the happiness in your life. There is no point in beating yourself up…. That’s going to get you nowhere!

Stop investing your time, emotions and life in men who refuse to give you the love, security and consistency that you deserve.  It is actually your fault that you attract these men, would you like to know why?

Because you think that your chemistry is powerful enough to change your broken relationship.

Save yourself the days, weeks, months, years of heartbreak and pain! Stop accepting anything less then what you KNOW you deserve.

It all starts with you!

Remember who you are, remember what you deserve and remember to learn to love and need yourself again. Once you realise this you will stop accepting and fixing because you will finally know that while you’re fixing someone else you will be destroying yourself.

Always thank the wrong man, because of that man you have realised your self-worth, because of that man you have realised you need to start to change yourself. He highlighted to you what you needed in order to fix yourself, to find your true happiness and what you truly deserve.

The wrong man always leads to meeting the right man, because you are strong enough and smart enough to know who is right for you.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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