Clues And Warning Signs Of Psychopathic Seduction

Psychopathic relationship

Your deepest sexual desires are mirrored, that’s why it felt so passionate and flawless, like you were both in sync when together. The flow was limitless and fluid, they knew the exact places to touch, what to say and when to do the right things the compatibility was perfection.

Or so you think…

After you felt empty, fulfilled sexually but not emotionally, you kind of lay there lifeless for a moment stuck in your own thoughts during all the identity erosion there was no emotion.

You misunderstood the passion as emotion, why?

Because those most intimate fantasies you thought you shared were actually just grooming and observing, tailoring their behaviour to match yours. You were at your most vulnerable but they sat, watched and learnt; they never matched you in the spiritual pleasure you felt.

Their sexual approval and flattery becomes needed in such a way you feel desperate as that’s the only way you feel attractive. You become a target in which they control. They use their pull on you to make you feel desperate, needy and slutty. In the beginning, they couldn’t get enough of you but once you’re hooked the mind games start to play out, sex is withheld, making it a privilege that they hold.

Fundamentally, it is false that psychopaths make good lovers, generally they have low impulse control and are very promiscuous.  In the beginning, he is hyper sexualised with you, the “chase” and “conquest” excites him; you are merely a novelty. You drew him in though, the aura of your romance was seductive to him, and he couldn’t keep his hands from embracing your body, anywhere and everywhere. Control is vital in every aspect, how you dress, what you do, what you say, whether you wear makeup or not, to dress in a provocative manner, to practically cover yourself from head to toe, to humble them and satisfy their desire for indiscretion.

Your pleasure is their power.

Why do people have insecure attachment styles?

Recent studies into psychopaths have enlightened us to the fact that when women have “insecure attachment styles” it is often that they find themselves falling for the empty emotional core of the psychopath. This is instead of facing their fears of intimacy, and on top of that they are persistently dissatisfied with vaginal sex, they may have more anal sex and achieve orgasms through the use of vibrators. Research has shown that genitals are not the only part of the body sufficient for orgasm, without emotional fulfilment and a mental state of secure attachment there isn’t a sufficient depth for the ability to orgasm without sexual health aids.

Those of us with insecure attachment styles are anxious about intimacy, and thus avoid real closeness. A surface style relationship is more appealing than one of substance and depth. Women who fear intimacy or those who are avoidant, anxious or fear abandonment are stuck in a catch-22 situation, but becoming anxious is far less terrifying than the fear of actually becoming close to someone and allowing them the possibility to abandon them later on.

There is a genetic factor that contributes to insecure attachment styles where there is an alteration in the serotonin – receptor gene. But this isn’t always the full story and if it were to be a blanket reason for every self-depriving and self-destructive person they would have their fate there and then. More defines your insecure attachment style with how often you have an orgasm, your childhood, friends, social interactions all influence into this.

Image: Psychopathic lover

You may question why all this matters? And how can you obliterate all the years of your insecure attachment patterns?

To put it rather bluntly you need to stop dating men who cannot appreciate how you feel, and who you are. There is a land that psychopaths live in and that is in the realm of fantasy, there is no concept of standing by you during difficult times or even being compassionate towards your needs, and the only time he is close is when you are satisfying his immediate needs.

There is a brain-based method called spreading of alternatives this is where an individual evaluates the chosen alternative in a more positive manner and the rejected alternative more negatively; you need to start having vaginal orgasms rather than only anal and vibrator ones. There is a detachment you experience with anal and vibrator orgasms and you need to allow yourself to feel the full intimacy and vulnerability that comes with a vaginal orgasm.

How do you stop the cycle of insecure attachment patterns?

You have two alternatives to stopping this vicious cycle of endless surface relationships. Number one is by not changing, and being in the empty relationship without real intimacy or vaginal orgasms. Number two is to face your fear of intimacy and move on to someone and something more fulfilling, because your brain is so accustomed to your insecure attachment style it cannot make a distinction between the two, and so it simply regresses to what you already know every time.  Making a list of why staying away from intimacy is harmful to you is always a visual help, it may cause your anxiety to be heightened but only due to the fact you are conquering your deepest fears head on.

Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form.

Ironically psychopaths are lovers who cannot love, this isn’t always obvious at first when the psychopath becomes infatuated with you and is pursuing you intensely, but becomes agonisingly apparent over time. If you don’t become numb to the mistreatment or stay in the realm of denial you come to the realisation that everything that is important and vital in a relationship is missing, just when you thought you had it all.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

Breaking Up With Love Addiction

Love addiction

The heart is an addiction

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others” – Sonya Friedman

But what if the way you see yourself isn’t good enough? What if you feel the only way to feel good is by loving someone else?

Choice isn’t a factor when you fall in love, love like so many other things is addictive but comprehending that on many levels is difficult.

Love is addicting, love is addiction, and love isn’t a choice.

Addicted to love
Image: Love Addiction

So many of us fall in love and we can’t explain fully why or how, we just do. Something in us sparks this feeling and we can’t get enough of it, we obsess over it and it engulfs us with all our being.

Love is beautiful, love is magical, love is truly meaningful but love can also be what you think is a safe and virtuous way to escapes one’s own mind.

I didn’t realise till I was reading other blogs that I was obsessed with loving people, I was obsessed with loving people and doing everything I physically could to please people. But on the flip side I never allowed anyone to love me back, I pushed them away, I never set myself healthy boundaries because when you have no expectation you can’t get hurt can you?

I was so drained, I felt numb always and felt that I was never good enough for anyone… those were my excuses for my partner cheating, those were my excuses for previous abusive relationships, I was never actually good enough… I victimised myself over and over again and told myself I didn’t deserve to be treated well, and I thought that so much I actually started to believe myself whole heartedly.

This ended up being my solution to all the pain and suffering I once felt, because you can’t feel if you don’t let anyone in. This was my escapist behaviour; this is what became my normal and my comfort, my ability to reject. Our deepest insecurities can be numbed with drugs, alcohol, exercise, shopping and love. It just depends what we choose to be our addiction. I chose love, because how much harm can really be in love?

At the root of our core in any addiction is that “we are not good enough”, and we use this feeling to people please, we don’t say no, we are loving and kind. We feed all the things we want most into everyone else why? Because deep down it’s what we want because we have drummed into our own heads that we are not worthy of these things so instead we shower everyone else and seek pleasure from giving.

Giving isn’t a bad thing, it’s far from being a bad thing but when we give all of ourselves we forgot about our own pain because we are too busy loving everyone else. This is when it turns into something bad, this is when it becomes damaging and detrimental to our own lives and minds.

Love and attachment quote
Image: Love vs attachment

How many times have you heard the saying:

“You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you”

How many times did you roll your eyes? The truth is just that. We try and love ourselves by loving others more, by never saying no to peoples demands or wants, by feeling guilty when we want things ourselves or want to make time for ourselves, by putting up with abusive behaviour like neglect, or inconsideration, you end up realising you have lost respect in yourself. You end up realising that you were never loving yourself, you were trying to love others more as a way to trick yourself into thinking you are loving yourself because it’s what you think you want.

Deconstructing your self-denial is the hardest part of learning to love yourself again. There is a colossal difference between experiencing self-love rather than just conceptualizing it mentally.

Self-love starts internally; seeking happiness, acceptance and contentment outside ourselves will never keep us satisfied. We need to realise that all the energy we put into others needs to also be put into ourselves, instead of looking for validation elsewhere.

We need to love ourselves deep from our core. Until you’re ready to accept yourself and practice creating healthier boundaries you will not respect yourself. You need to deconstruct your self-denial before building up your true authentic self in all areas of your life.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

Fifty Shades Of Pleasure With Ben Wa Balls

Fifty shades kiss

Ben wa balls, ben wah balls, burmese balls, venus balls, geisha balls, kegel balls…. Oh my!

Image: Hollow stainless steel

30mm of hollow medical grade surgical steel shaped into a sphere ball and mirror polished, inside that sphere is a smaller weighted sphere rocking back and forth with each and every movement. Double chains hanging at a length of 9cm from the base of the sphere with two 10mm balls attached at the end of each chain.

Is this what you’re thinking of?

Ben wa ball
Buy Now | Steel sex toys by Hell’s Couture

Ben wa, ben wah… any which way you pronounce these or call these the many different names they answer to, what these are, are small balls that can range in size from marble sized to two or more inches in diameter. Often made of steel these little gems can also be made from glass and different silicone coatings.

Using Ben Wa Balls For Pleasure

But aside from toning your vagina, do these little dynamites send you into waves of pleasure from each and every movement?

After the release of the “Fifty Shades” series many women have wondered what these little balls of delight feel like, but many women are often discouraged or disappointed with the outcome. This is typically because their expectations don’t match the outcome, if you go into this expecting orgasmic results like you would with a vibrator – this is not going to happen and you will be very disappointed very quickly.

Strengthening The Pelvic Floor Muscles With Ben Wa Balls

The results these balls give aren’t always apparent straight away, it’s about body knowledge and in another way it’s about having your own little secret. Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises can have a weighty long-term impact on your sex life. Many women benefit from having more control and deeper orgasms with regular and long term use, aside from the health benefits of strengthening your pelvic floor.

In saying that many women do find using these little gems pleasurable and enjoyable, and the bonus is the real benefit that comes from long-term use which won’t only be noticed by you but by your partner as well. For those women who wear their ben wa balls during the day and then engage in sexual encounters later that day or evening have spoken of having more intense orgasms. For many women this is due to the fact that they have a naughty little secret no one else knows about, the fact that there is a constant reminder that pressure is being placed on their G-spot is arousing and the build-up can have a climaxing experience.

Other Benefits Of Ben Wa Balls

If you are looking for a sex toy that’s a little more “typical” these balls might not be your go to, but there are vibrating options you can purchase and these might be more suited for your particular needs and desires. If you are looking for something with hidden class and elegance that is more of a tease and a subtle reminder that something is inside of you, these balls are the way to go!

Image: Surgical stainless steel

Whether it’s the way they look, feel or make you feel these little gems hit you on all levels. They are placed in the most sensitive part of your body, so clearly hygiene is a common concern no one wants embarrassing infections or reactions. Antibacterial toy cleaner is all you need for cleaning, a few minutes soaking and a gentle scrub with a sponge or cloth. These toys are made of non-rusting metal so soaking will not cause any damage or harm to your product and because it is a non-porous material it will not retain, hold or store any bacteria but I do highly advise keeping all toys in separate storage bags to make sure there is no contamination from other toys or substances, and I always highly recommend cleaning before use as well.

If you are naturally well lubricated or need a little help, it is always important to consider the use of lubricants, especially with surgical stainless steel sex toys. Although they are sleek, glossy and slippery, lubricants are always incredibly helpful and will make using your steel toy a breeze. There is no lubricant that is recommended with steel toys, any lubricant in the range can be used.

The element of elegance and class associated with steel sex toys and this ben wa ball is no different. The look, the feel, and the thought of wearing this toy is for some enough to increase pleasure and arousal, it has a beautiful smoothness to its design along with a naughtier side with the chains. You can use this ben wa ball in other ways such as temperature play and massage, running the smooth ball over the body is ideal for foreplay and exciting sexual arousal. When it comes to many toys imagination is vital, and imagination is the only hurdle we face stopping us from pleasure.

Give it a go… what do you have to lose?

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

Instantly Sync Your Sex Drives With We-Vibe

Woman's orgasm face

It’s like a cult following – the We-Vibe Sync, Oh My God! You don’t have one? Well, why not? You NEED one!!

It’s a couple’s vibrator, teaser, and pleasuring U shaped delight!

You want your lover to tease you while they aren’t even near you? Don’t worry We-Vibe has you covered!

Overseas? No worries!

At work? No worries!

In another room? No worries!

Right next to you? Oh my god definitely no worries!

The We-Vibe Sync is marketed as a couple’s sex toy but is easily just as amazing used as a solo toy, so no one will ever be disheartened by this little U shaped delight.

Not only does the We-Vibe Sync make your clitoris and G-spot spring into waves and pulses of delight with its adjustable settings, but it is made to suit almost all body types and shapes with its adjustable fit as well!

A few little specifications about the We-Vibe Sync

  • 2-year warranty
  • Dual stimulation
  • Adjustable fit
  • Body safe silicone: it is made without latex, free from phthalates and BPA.
  • Remote control connected: The remote can change vibration modes as well as the intensity in the moment. Either partner can use the remote and it works up to a distance of 3 meters.
  • Smartphone app connected: The free We-Connect™ app allows you to play and control from anywhere. Vibe to music with beat mode or use touch mode for real-time control at your fingertips.
  • 100% Waterproof: Yes, this means it’s submergible!
  • Rechargeable: Charges in 2 hours, for up to 90 minutes of play.
Specifications of the We-Vibe sync
Image: Features of the We-Vibe sync

It comes in two colour variations unless you get the sensations in Sync pack, which comes in a coral colour.

What’s included

  • Sync couples vibrator
  • Wireless remote control
  • Storage case/charging base
  • USB cable
  • We-Vibe Lube
  • Quick-start user guide


  • Length: 2.95”
  • Height: 1.65”
  • Width: 1.25”

    We-Vibe Sync
    Image: We-Vibe Sync in blue
We-Vibe Sync with package
Buy Now | We-Vibe couples sex toys

How the We-Vibe Sync works

Many people look at this device with the most confused look on their face and trust me, trying to explain how this device works using only words can be hard for some people to actually imagine. So with the use of this diagram I am going to show you how this device works and fitted. Simple isn’t it!

For those using it as a secret vibrator for your lover to control during a night or while at work, etc you can insert the device the same way, or for more control if you are nervous about the device falling out, you can put it in with the larger head inside and the smaller head pressing firmly on the clit, either way will give you waves, pulses and vibrations of delight.

Using the We-Vibe Sync
Image: How to use the We-Vibe Sync

The main issue most people have with this device is the app, the more reviews you read, the more you notice that people either love it with all their being or they hate it! And just to clarify they don’t hate the Sync they hate the app! If you read into the hate reviews they are all because of the app disconnecting during use. Now, I don’t know if it’s because they have connected it wrong or if they haven’t fully followed the instructions completely, but with my trials I did notice a few reasons why the app would disconnect.

This can be fixed by making a few simple changes and if you follow the instructions correctly, you can take full advantage of all the Sync has to offer. One issue I noticed was that laptops, iPads, tablets and other Bluetooth devices can interrupt the connection. That being said if you move them 1-2 meters away at least this considerably decreases the interruptions.

Also something that I thought was fairly self-explanatory others may have not thought of, the Sync must always be in close distance to the device that has the app on it, and you send a link to your loved one for them to control. Which means the primary app device should be on your own device, which then allows you to send a link to your lover to give them the option of controlling but you can also disconnect their control if need be.

The app allows you to have a lot more personal customizations then just using the remote or button on the Sync. You are able to create your own custom playlists choosing your favourite modes, intensities and durations.

Not only can you customize your vibrations you can also video call and text over the app to your lover (aka your pleasure controller) to make it even more personal and intimate.

The We-Connect app features

  • Touch the screen to control the vibrations and build intensity, swipe to change modes and pinch to adjust intensity.
  • Multiple modes
  • Create and customize your own vibes by drawing your own vibe!
  • Make your own playlist of your favourite modes. You can adjust the duration of each vibration and intensity.
  • Your lover can control the We-Vibe from anywhere in the world.
  • You can control each other’s We-Vibe and pass control back and forth.
  • In-app voice, chat and video.
We-connect on the smartphone
Image: We-Connect on the mobile

Now not only is the Sync amazing! It also has two features on the We-connect app that is exclusive just for the Sync!

  • Beat mode: This mode gives the option to vibe to the rhythm of your favourite music, or picks up ambient noises in your surroundings.
  • Touch mode: You have real time custom control over every action. Use the screen to instantly control the vibrations.

For these reasons and so many more the Sync is one of my favourite sex toys in store because it has so many uses and reasons for its existence.

If that doesn’t majorly tempt you into buying a Sync then I’d say you were insane! It is one of the best couples sex toys available.

I am part of the We-Vibe cult are you?

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

Chemical Addiction Is Stronger Than Love

Substance abuse

Try and love an addict, then look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t get a sense of empowerment “trying to fix” them. I am not an addict, but I was hooked on trying to “fix” someone. Loving someone who is addicted to a substance is consuming. It consumes your every sense of being, it consumes your life, your mind, your self, your time, and every single aspect of your life is completely consumed even the parts you thought didn’t exist. You drop everything for them; you try and be everything for them. I wouldn’t wish knowing this feeling even on my worst enemy.

Most days I have a deep compassion for those who are in similar positions and offer my support and advice. Most days I have a better understanding for the reasons why we choose to a turn a blind eye, the reasons why we prefer to be numb. But most definitely there are the days where I feel so empowered because of how deeply I understand my fears, my pain, my personality and myself. I understand how to forgive, I understand my boundaries and this is because of all my experiences.

On bad days I hate myself. I am so angry with myself, my anxiety is through the roof, I cry at the most basic things and I cringe at the thought of being touched by someone again.

I know that after all my experiences I have become a better, stronger and smarter person. I know that I will love so deeply and I will give all of myself to my partner. I know that I can get through anything that is thrown my way, but I know not every day is the same and some days I crumble.

Substance abuse in relationships hits home hard, it hits home so hard that it makes me physically ill to think about it. You might just think the substance is the only bad thing; truth is it affects so many different aspects of a relationship and life. You can read countless articles about ways in which you can overcome these problems, but what none of them inform you about are the interpersonal conflicts that go on.

It’s not easy just to leave, it’s not easy just to seek help through councillors or rehabs and it’s not easy just to talk it out with your partner. Lies and deceit plague the relationship, everyday events are not trusted or are mistaken and taken advantage of.

Substance abuse damages social health and this is something that often isn’t spoken about or even thought of but the strain it puts on relationships is massive. It isn’t just the person who is abusing the substance that it affects; it’s the partner as well. To firstly be involved in a lifestyle, which they are not comfortable with, but also not understanding the reasons why your partner chooses this lifestyle over everything. You think to yourself “what am I doing?”. You try so damn hard to show the person you love that there is a better way of living and that life is just as fun without the substance.

But that’s exactly the problem… they think mundane things are made better and more exciting on substances, they think the only way to enjoy things is on substances and trust me it makes you feel like you’re the reason why they are on it… you see yourself as boring and obviously they need the substance to stand to be around you.

Drug addict
Image: Substance Abuse

Elements Of Successful Relationships

Even without the presence of an addiction, relationships are complex issues that take work to maintain. Successful relationships:

  • Use honest and assertive communication based on respect.
  • Are fun and rewarding.
  • Have the goal of compromise, trust and understanding.
  • Have an absence of physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, violence and aggression.
  • Can thrive with times of individuality and times of togetherness.
  • Allow for all members to feel good about themselves.

Successful relationships involve a lot of elements and when addiction becomes a problem those elements diminish and it makes the relationship a lot harder to maintain. Relationships cannot compete with the euphoric experiences that substances bring. The user will almost always put more time and energy into the substance than into maintaining the relationship.

When The Addict Builds Walls Of Secrecy

The one thing that is present in every relationship attempting to compete with a substance addiction is secrecy. It’s not the secrecy of the substance that is deliberating, it’s the constant questions of where are they? Who are they with? Why are they behaving differently? They isolate themselves and even when they are present, they aren’t really there. With this breeds trust issues, the differences between fact and fiction become apparent and it’s only a matter of time before you start to see the body language associated with your partner lying. Before too long you start to see it every single time they speak, and once that happens you never believe a word they say, promises become empty and you have no expectations for anything.

Everyone speaks about “walls” but what are they really? Walls are not boundaries, they are an emotional invisibility cloak and they are a way to have control when you don’t feel in control. It is a defence mechanism and way to stop becoming hurt before you are hurt.

You are shutting down to shut others out.

It is a coping mechanism.

Drugs That Can Induce Anger

Anger and abuse are major concerns in the relationship with someone who is addicted to a substance, this is because you learn to see the signs, you learn to manage the anger and learn what the “set offs” are. Drugs that are known to cause increased anger, irritability and violence include:

  • Alcohol
  • Cocaine
  • MDMA
  • Methamphetamine (crystal meth or ice)
  • Ritalin and other prescription stimulants
  • Steroids

It is a vicious cycle to be in, loving someone who is addicted to a substance means always avoiding the issue for the fear of starting an argument. When you do finally chose to express your hurt, the issue is magnified and a discussion can escalate into a knife being pointed or thrown at you, a firearm being placed onto your forehead or hands very securely wrapped around your throat. Some get out with minimal hurt or consequences, others aren’t so lucky, but almost all are left with emotional scaring and hurt relating to future relationships.

Healing happens at your own rate, no one is the same; self-love is the biggest asset to healing. Self-love brings trust back into yourself, because learning to touch yourself again means having the ability and strength to let someone else touch you. Working at Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres opened my eyes to the power behind sex, intimacy and how truly different we all are. The body is a wonderful and magical being, and should be celebrated, empowered and spoilt in every way possible.

Sex is the most intimate part of yourself you can give.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.