Stay Safe by Sexting This Holiday Season

Flirting

We all need a lot more affection in our lives in the age of a pandemic. It’s been a trying time for everyone to find ways to feel human again. A sense of touch, smell, and sound of a sexual partner in crime has been taken away from those who are single and ready to mingle. In today’s world, we are to stay at a minimum of six feet away from everyone who is not in our own household. The scent of the perfume is harder to get a whiff of when farther away. Masks are worn in public, while adding a sense of mystery to one’s appearance, also muffle the sound of a sexy voice. How is a sexual single who may have been more sexually active pre-pandemic to get their needs met in this scenario? Well, one sure bet to stay safe and sexy while at home is sexting.

 

This is about staying safe, being considerate of others but still finding alternative ways to get off. As it’s vital to stay isolated as much as possible it’s equally as vital to feel connected every day. We are more sexually repressed now than we have ever been in decades past. Even when the world was more sexually inhibited in the 30s, 40s, and 50s there was no stay at home order in place in those eras. This is a very new thing for humankind to go through while still trying to have somewhat of a life. Especially a sexual one!

What Are Sexting Ice-Breakers?

 

Just like approaching a woman in a bar, it can be tricky for the naturally more shy/introverted man to think of the right things to say. With sexting, a lot of the stress of having a good conversation starter is off the table. There is no small talk necessary, you’re in a space where you get to focus on having your sexual desires met at a distance.  When you sext it’s about establishing what your kink factor is before anything else. Not asking someone “How was your day?”.  Here are a few sexting icebreakers below to help you get the party started via your smartphone.

Are you Vanilla/Hardcore?

What are you wearing?

Guess what I’m wearing right now…

What’s your fetish?

Do you like being bad/good?

How wild are you on a scale of 1-10?

Are you into group sex?

 

Finding out what your kinks/desires are is half the fun of sexting. The other half of the fun is finding out what the women are on into the receiving end of these sext messages.  It’s the easiest conversation starter, to ask/tell a woman you are sexting with what you may be into/are open to knowing more about before hooking up. Maybe you are more Vanilla but curious to know more about what a hardcore sexting exchange might be like. It’s good to mix things up and you will find sexting is really about uncovering what really drives you and turns you on.

Where To Start?

 

A long-standing, reputable, and fun place that caters to the sexting community is Arousr. There’s no better place to start sexting than to do so anonymously. This way you don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing to someone in your inner circle that might lead to awkward social gatherings or gossip when things do eventually open again. Discretion is key when it comes to sexting. When you are not required to reveal your identity it adds an extra little bit of freedom to go wild. You never have to worry about a chat host holding what you say against you. They are there to cater to your sexual needs and desires, whatever those may be.

Yes, you can always text people you know for free. If the texting you do now led to hot steamy sexting you wouldn’t be here reading this blog. In life, we tend to get what we pay for. Sometimes the hottest woman you know may simply not be into sexting or actually be terrible at it. When you use platforms tailored around feeding sexual desires you’ll find a lot less trouble, hassle, and headache, all while maintaining your anonymity. Feeling secure and safe in a sexual environment is what we all need to have an enjoyable experience.

Final Thoughts On Sexting

This year was a tragic one for many but it’s also a teachable moment. One thing we know is that if we want good things in life we must invest in them. That does not exclude our sex lives. Waiting for things to open to be flirty and reach sexual pleasure is not realistic nor is it healthy, both mentally and physically. It’s enough to make anyone go stir crazy being stuck inside with no place to safely go.

It’s very healthy to seek out ways to express yourself through the written word and can also be quite cathartic. It’s sexy, safe and it is a lot of fun when you have an open-minded woman on the other end to enjoy sexual banter with. Now is the best possible time to step outside of your comfort zones and try something new. Sexting is safe, stimulating, and much more personal than streaming porn or Netflix all day.

About the Author

 

I’m Femme Fatale, writer, and Sexpert. I have a vast knowledge and affinity for Fetish culture as a former Fetish model. You can find me every week writing for Arousr. My favorite fetish is Domination.

 

 

 

 

Consent – There Are No Blurred Lines!

Sexual Conent

What does this word consent mean?

And look like anyway?

 

So let’s break this down, waaaaaay down. You’ve probably heard about consent by now. It is becoming a bigger part of our society so it’s time we added some easy to understand information about it for you.

 

Consent is actively (and hopefully enthusiastically) agreeing to any sexual activity with someone.

 

Not agreeing, or being forced to participate unwillingly in any sexual activity (including oral, penetrative, phone, photo sharing, sexting, groping/genital touching and verbal) is sexual assault and/or rape.

 

Pretty serious right?

 

Planned Parenthood describes consent as easy as FRIES

 

Freely given – it cannot be coerced

Reversible – you can change your mind anytime

Informed – you need the full story

Enthusiastic – only do what you’re excited about, not what you’re expected to

Specific- yes to one thing does not mean yes to everything.

 

You can always change your mind during any sexal act if you start to feel uncomfortable. You can even ask to slow down. The big ticket is communication. Make sure that you are comfortable enough to speak your mind with whoever you are being intimate with. If you don’t feel comfortable it might be an indication that you should wait. Go slow. Take your time. Check in with yourself frequently.

 

Now we’ve looked at ourselves and consent, time to look at the people we are with. We are not mind readers, and sometimes people don’t speak their minds, we get it, so it is very important to take everything into consideration in the heat of the moment even when you are super excited. What is their body language like? Are they leaning closer or leaning away? Are they hesitant? Are they excited? Check in with your partner? Ask them if they like this or that? Ask them if you can kiss them here, or touch them there. Remove this piece of clothing. If they say yes, green light. Do it. If they say no, stop. Ask them if they are ok. If they pause, slow down, check in, see if you need to slow down or stop altogether. They might just need to catch their breath. But you won’t know unless you ask. Communication is the key.

 

Consent violation is more and more pressing and recognised in society and comes in many forms. For years the topic of clothing and how a person dresses has been portrayed in news and headlines as “asking for it.” BBC’s Quickies portrays it quite well that what we wear does equal skiing for anything. We see one of the actors barging into a conference room, dressed professionally and saying “i’m here for my promotion. Clearly I’m asking for it.” or another dressed for vacation and leaving work stating that they didn’t need to clear it with HR because, I mean, look at what she was wearing. Her intent was clear. Wasn’t it? The clip sends a resounding message that what we wear is not consent. It’s a no.

 

 

Over time, many have felt the need to be silent about their consent being violated. But this is not the case. It is important to confide in people you are close to, and if it is a serious offence, to contact the local authorities to ensure that this behaviour does not continue.

 

Violating Consent can look like:

  • Refusing to acknowledge “no”

  • Assuming that wearing certain clothes, flirting, or kissing is an invitation for anything more

  • Someone being under the legal age of consent, as defined by the law

  • Someone being incapacitated because of drugs or alcohol

  • Pressuring someone into sexual activity by using fear or intimidation

  • Assuming you have permission to engage in a sexual act because you’ve done it in the past

#Thisdoesntmeanyes

World famous photographer Perou started the campaign #Thisdoesntmeanyes, photographing 120 women in london at random to outline the rape culture that was happening in London. Their website could not be more accurate when it comes to consent:

A SHORT SKIRT IS NOT A YES.

A RED LIP IS NOT A YES.

A WINK IS NOT A YES.

A SLOW DANCE IS NOT A YES.

A WALK HOME IS NOT A YES.

A DRINK BACK AT MINE IS NOT A YES.

A KISS ON THE SOFA IS NOT A YES.

WHAT I WEAR AND HOW I BEHAVE ARE NOT INVITATIONS.

THERE’S A MYTH THAT SURROUNDS WOMEN, A MYTH THAT EMBROILS THEM:

WOMEN WHO DRESS OR BEHAVE SUGGESTIVELY,

WOMEN WHO ARE PLAYFUL OR WHO ACT PROVOCATIVELY,

WOMEN WHO FLIRT OR OPENLY DISCUSS SEX – THEY’RE ‘ASKING FOR IT’.

IT’S AN INSIDIOUS FABLE, AND IT NEEDS TO STOP.

EVERY WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION.

NO WOMAN DESERVES TO BE RAPED FOR IT.

NO ONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO BLAME RAPE ON A SHORT SKIRT.

A SHORT SKIRT CAN’T TALK – A SHORT SKIRT CAN’T SAY ‘YES’.

THE ONLY YES SHOULD BE AN ACTIVE AND EMBODIED ‘YES!’

 

But it is not only Women. Consent is important regardless of gender, sexuality and diversity. Too often we disregard a no and even degrade the importance of such topics because men have been seen to “handle it”. Not only is it important to be respectful of ALL consent. It is important to remember that many people have also been taken advantage of saying that consent has been violated when in fact it wasn’t the case. So now in society not only are there Consent Violators, there are also False Stories of Consent. Both can gravely hurt and injure a person’s psyche, mentality, self esteem and trust.

 

So How can we tackle consent?

The above video is a brilliant representation of thinking of consent like offering a person a cup of tea. That you can’t force a person to drink tea if they say no. You cannot get an unconscious person to drink tea. A person can say yes, and then choose not to drink the tea once it arrives.

 

We can talk about consent. Make it normal and break the stigma around keeping silent. If someone discloses a moment when they were uncomfortable or their consent was compromised or broken, listen attentively and supportively. Sympathise and ask if there is anything you can do to help them, or get them in touch with someone who could help. Please try not to be dismissive when someone is visibly hurt or upset by something that has happened to them.

 

We can teach consent, constantly and consistently with everyone. Everyone benefits from talking about consent. The more we talk about our own experiences of asking consent in situations, the more we will all learn different ways to practice asking consent. And it can be sexy.

 

Consent Examples everyone can try:

 “Can I touch your arm.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Can I take off your shirt?”

“Can I hold your phone to look at that picture?”

“I would love to hold you closer, is that ok?”

“Would you like to try anal play?

“Want to see some pictures of me naked?”

“Is this ok?”

“Does my ***** feel nice?”

 

Consent can be sexy and inviting when you use your imagination, when you’re enthusiastic and when you’re respectful.

 

At your Service,

 

Tiffany

OhZone Adult Shop Sales Assistant, Educator and Consent Advocate.

AI, VR, Porn and the New Sex Tech Boom

teledildonics

Teledildonics, the webcamming boom, VR porn, and the general sex tech explosion of the early millennium showed little sign of slowing down as 2020 appeared on the horizon. As we now know 2020 to be a more or less unmitigated disaster year, many suspected something as seemingly frivolous as sex tech would suffer the fate of, say, live music. That has proven to be far from the case.

 

Virtual reality porn and its related forms offer a more intimate take on the standard pornstar-viewer exchange; a hugely more intimate take. Staring into the eyes of a star you’d previously only seen with other men and women as they surround you with their highly individual sexuality is an experience that most definitely changes a viewer’s understanding of the future of both entertainment and sexual expression. Not everyone favors sharing their private intimate time with your typical (or even atypical) pornstar but remain interested in expanding their horizons along a similar path. Thankfully, they too have plenty of options to explore during isolation and social distancing.

 

Guys, Girls, Games

 

Standing at the intersections of virtual pornography, artificial intelligence and adult gaming, Hybri offers users a chance to enter a slick sci-fi world and create a virtual companion of their own design, and to bring that companion into their actual environment via a mobile Augmented Reality app.

 

The virtual entities created by Hybri users can be customized in numerous ways and be made to look like basically anyone. Facial features and expressions, hair, body shape, skin tone, and even personality traits can be tailored by Hybri users. Obviously not all will be creating romantic partners but Hybri’s developers have certainly provided for those seeking a virtual romantic partner.

 

Next Gen Sexting

 

If designing a virtual partner from the (virtual) ground up is too much effort for you, and if you’re more interested in conversing with, rather than staring at, your digital pal, chat bots utilizing Artificial Intelligence may have more to offer. SlutBot, a text-message-based chatbot created by San Francisco outfit Juicebox, brands itself as a free tool to help those hoping to try sexting actual people by giving them an AI porn partner. Along similar lines but providing a more humanoid character-based approach in its app and web interface, Replika allows users to create a virtual chat partner who learns from their interactions and experiences. Where a user’s relationship with their Replika can lead is entirely up to the two of them.

 

Replikas (as the virtual individuals are known, though they each have a name) exhibit personality traits somewhat more independent from those specified by users. Occasionally appearing to get stuck in a conversation loop and often taking a starkly opposite reading of a user’s inputs and their intentions, Replikas nevertheless have developed remarkably deep relationships with some users. As a tool providing therapeutic company, creations like Replika are becoming more widely utilized and valued. The fact that Replika, SlutBot and other such AIs can be used for purely prurient interests is a boon that reflects right back on mainstream virtual reality porn. And, as is so often the case, the feedback loop between the industries of vice and mainstream tech advancements is in full effect.

 

Bots Behind Closed Doors

 

In an effort to combine the open-ended opportunities provided by AI characters with the physical pleasure of more traditional adult interactions, AI-augmented brothels have begun appearing around the globe. Naughty Harbor, located in Central Prague, Czech Republic, offers patrons a chance to book time with one of the in-house attendants, each one as sexy as she is non-biological. With a motto of “What happens behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors,” Naughty Harbor seems to be freeing people of the complications arising from living out fantasies with another human being, someone with physical and emotional response systems built on self-preservation, not solely on gratifying a partner.

 

Suggestions that AI-equipped “sexbots” be largely used for teaching young people consent, personal boundaries, social interaction, and common courtesy before they enter the world of adult dating. Bots are now being constructed and designed with “consent modules” in place that will require the bots human collaborator to cultivate a compassionate, mutually rewarding interaction that’s much closer to the realities of human dating and relationships.

 

Some doll creators are heading in a more directly gratifying direction, however. Harmony, a creation of RealdollX, utilizes her AI programming to hold fluid, flexible conversations, charm her companion, and even tell jokes. Perhaps more importantly, Harmony’s facial features and articulation come extremely close to human realism. Must compassion and consent be directly programmed into such a convincing character or will users’ inevitably begin to see their artificial companions as more-or-less human?

 

Will our expanded expectations of virtual and non-human partners transfer across to our interpersonal relationships, too? Will those who employ the aid of an artificial companion come to be more sensitive and compassionate in their relations with other humans, or will they favor the more malleable, self-serving experiences had with a sexbot? As distant as a future full of artificial humanoid lovers may seem today, technology and human sexuality do seem to be headed in that direction whether we’re ready for it or not.

 

How to Have Phone Sex in a Long-Distance Relationship

sex on the phone

For real, it is not easy to be distant from one’s partner; nevertheless, it happens like that at times. Everyone wants a partner who can keep them all wet and horny despite the distance, like the famous saying out of sight is not out of mind. You should not just always have your hand in your undies because your partner is out of sight; you must learn to keep the sexual bond and satisfaction of your partner.

According to phonesexchat.com, a long-distance relationship, which some call LDR, usually is not advisable for first-timers as it can be very frustrating, especially when it comes to satisfying your partners’ sexual urge, which is essential for the relationship. But this is the right thing; you do not have to remain a novice as phone sex is not just an act; it is also an art that can be learned and mastered.

Like sexologists will always teach that the best way to have sex with your partner is to have made love first of all with the mind, you can make your partner wet and drip without physical touch, it is part of being hot, and it must be learned if you want to keep your relationship hot and lively. And thanks to technology, phone sex has taken a whole turn, and it is a lot easier and better as several sexting applications really help phone sex.

To have good phone sex with your distant partner, you have to pay attention to the following;

  • The most important thing in having successful phone sex is the choice of your words, it is inevitable, and you must learn it, to speak dirty words, yes! Dirty words, the dirtiest words!. By choice of right words, you can make anyone sexually aroused to drip. For starters, you can have a prepared script, although this makes you sound less sexy, it can make you calm.
  • The choice of the time and environment is also essential and you must be deliberate about it. It has been attested that the best time to have phone sex is in the middle of the night, psychologists have said it that the mind is most vulnerable and focused at the middle of the night. No time beats the midnight in phone sexing, try it.
  • When having a phone conversation, ensure it is communication for real, feedback is critical, phone sex should not be a monologue; it should be a conversation.
  • One practical thing that helps in phone sex is doing what your partner would have done to you (if physically present). For instance, having your hand over your dick (like a guy) or rubbing your boobs while making sounds like a lady, telling your partner what you are doing and how you feel about it. This must, however, be from the heart, as it is easy to detect when it is fake.
  • Make use of visuals, seeing your partner’s face is very important when having phone sex, it helps to know the way your partner feels and how they are doing it.
  •  One last and foremost thing is making your phone sex loud enough. Although it is not all the time that you come when you have phone sex if you do it well and you want to have an orgasm you can, and when you do, you can say it out loud ‘babe, I’m coming,’ let them feel the moaning.

It must, however, be noted that there is no one way to having phone sex, be creative about it.

Snap Sext Review: Do’s and Don’ts of Online Hookup Sites

Dating Sites

Having a bad online dating experience isn’t that uncommon. Many hookup hopefuls have fallen into the trap of engaging in really boring conversations, or going on a date with someone that doesn’t have the same expectations as them.

This shouldn’t demotivate you in trying to find someone you can get it on with. Rather follow these expert online hookup do’s and don’ts, for a more successful outcome every time.

 

DO’s

 

  1. Online Safety

Do practice safe online browsing. It’s important that you protect your online information from identity thieves and criminals. Many hopefuls have fallen victim to criminals who were only flirting with them to get money.

This includes telling you that they need transport fees in order to come and knock your socks off. Be vigilant and never provide anyone with your banking details.

Learn more about safe online browsing here:  https://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/features/the-20-commandments-the-dos-and-donts-of-online-safety-235057.html

 

  1. Do Pick Up the Phone and Call

Yes, this isn’t a myth. You can actually phone someone. If you’ve gotten really raunchy over texting, then you might as well start phoning them. It’s a great activity to break the ice and will give you a sense of what the individual will be like in person.

Some people can talk the talk over text messaging, but they aren’t really great at in-person conversations. Assessing whether you have a connection communicating, will give you an indication whether you will have some chemistry in the sheets too.

 

  1. Be Honest

Especially if you’re only looking for a one-night stand, then you should be completely transparent about it. Wasting your time chatting to someone who is looking for a relationship, isn’t worth it. There’s no need in pretending to look for something you are not.

You will only create devastation and heartbreak. Playing games with people’s emotions aren’t cool. So, just be honest and upfront about the fact that you want to get in their pants – and nothing else.

 

  1. Make the Most of It

Let’s face it, you won’t be single for the rest of your life. Having hookup sites making kissing and dating so much easier, is a gift. You should definitely make the most of it. Embrace every inch of attention and smother yourself in sexting, nude photos, and flirting.

 

  1. Use Hot Language

By going through hundreds of Snapsext Reviews it was evident that most singles enjoy sexting rather than chatting about their day-to-day lives. An online dating site is a place where you can live out your most inner fantasies, without worrying about your busy work life.

Jump right in with a few suggestive emojis to get the ball rolling and see where it goes.

DON’Ts

 

  1. Don’t Give It All Away

Even though sultry photos in underwear is part of the game, there’s no fun in exposing yourself right from the start. Don’t open a conversation with a full-on nude. Rather be a bit more mysterious and send suggestive and playful photos.

This will surely get the blood flowing to all the right places.

 

  1. Don’t be Judgmental

The fact that anyone is vulnerable enough to send their sexy pics to a complete stranger, is completely risky. There’s no need to be judgmental about anything the person is revealing to you.

Have an open mind and be careful with your words. You never know what the person on the other side is going through.

 

  1. Don’t Expect Them to Pay

Once you’ve sealed a date at a bar or restaurant, make sure that you take enough money to pay for your half of the meal. Expecting someone you don’t know to pay for you, is a bit ignorant.

If they offer to pay, you can decide whether you’d accept it or offer to pay for the next round.

Click here for first date rules.

  1. Don’t Be Picky

Especially if you’re looking for a fun on-night fling, don’t be picky. This is your time to experiment with a variety of different types of people. Sticking to your usual go-to, might turn into something really boring. So, be adventurous and go for it.

 

 

Hooking up with complete strangers don’t have to be a bust. When you do the right things, you’ll be knocking boots with a lot of fun, like-minded individuals.