Effortless Tips For Great Sex

Body Positivity Men

If you think about your ex-partners you’ll fondly remember the good and the bad things that they did during sex. You’d remember which ones hit the spot, and which ones didn’t. Which ones you had to fake it with, and which ones you could barely stop the drool on your chin from anticipation of that moment because of the great sex. It’s pretty amazing really when you think about it because the ultimate end goal is the same with each one. But there are so many variables to sex that it seems pretty complex.

For research purposes I looked up what other people thought made great sex partners. The Women’s Magazines were pretty generic and included things such as not being judgmental, focusing on your partner’s needs, ability to laugh at yourself and stuff relating to your mental state as opposed to your physical state. In Essence, they were targeting the right areas but just not saying going that one crucial step further.

The Men’s magazine like Australian Men’s Health had such delightful comments such as; they love giving head, they are physically fit, and they have a good body shape. Yeah, um, no. Both of them focused on the idea that paying attention to your partner is important and that you need to forgo your own sexual desires at times to please them. This is probably the most accurate of the statements, but still it’s simplistic. It’s more than that, yet it’s not as complex as how redbookmag makes a hand job seem.

‘Men love to be stroked, fondled and handled with authority by expert female hands—and they love watching a woman take manual erotic control of them’.

I laughed for a long time when I read that sentence. Are they speaking plainly or are they sugar coating a hand job to make it sound seductive. What? It’s a hand job – not an atrociously bad Mills and Boone Novel with ‘Manual Erotic Control’. It’s almost akin to drving a car – Wheres the fun in that? Expert hands? (I’m taking the gender pronoun out of this – because I’m sick of the lack of sexual diversity in these ‘tips’). It’s bullshit. Not everyone likes hand jobs, not everyone likes giving/receiving oral pleasure and to reduce great sex to these tips. The tips are generally so heteronormative with stock photos of good looking couples, but they generally focus on the physical pleasure of the situation. The tips that focus on the mental pleasure are the way to go.

Body Confidence Women
Photo: Body Confidence

See, the fact is we all do things differently, our movements, our rhythms, our bodies, our shapes and sizes, even the way we move our tongue. It’s about a connection. You’ve seen those couples, and you’re wondering why they are together. We’ve all done it, sitting there during lunch, brunch dinner, or having a drink at a bar and you make the offhand comment to your friend/partner/colleague and you giggle as you wonder why they’re together. None of these so called sex tips speak about ‘connection’. I’ve been working in the Sex Industry for almost a decade and I’ve seen all sorts of couples. I distinctly remember this one couple, loved up, cute and apparently having the best sex of their lives. They’d tell me about it, how they’d have a long afternoon session and it wasn’t even all about penetrative sex or tongues, or even body parts. For them, an afternoon of sex was about intimacy, about touching, feeling and laughing. You could hear it when they spoke about it, some strange mysterious connection that whenever they got together, they didn’t give a damn about the rest of the world – they created their own world, their own space and when it shattered they laughed about it and moved on. They were two bodies together, exploring, having fun, and absolutely being in the moment.

So you’re sitting there thinking well what is this guy on about – what makes great sex? The answer is as simple as it is complex – not giving a damn. Being in the moment, let it flow and just follow the grind. It’s about pleasuring the mind, which is most likely why that time you had sex in the change room despite it being an awkward quickie was probably mind-blowing sex. That ex who you’d fight with constantly, but the second their arms were around you you turned into a quivering and horny mess.

Great sex is about accepting who you are, accepting your flaws, having body confidence and accepting theirs. The ability to have a laugh when it doesn’t go to ‘plan’, the idea of not actually having a formulaic plan to please your lover.

Here’s the secret. There’s no one way to have great sex. You can read all the tips on the internet, know exactly how to move your tongue, and physically please your partner. But you can still not be the best in bed. People are reluctant to let go of the idea of having great sex. So hell bent they are on discovering the secret they are absolutely convinced that there must be something tangible that gives access to great sex. There’s not. You can be reductive and say that it’s about understanding your partner’s body and mind and you’re not going to be wrong. But how can you teach someone to understand their partner’s body? You can learn, but without that connection you’re not quite going to reach that final step. Most people insist that it is some physical way of moving (Because, like, they tried this move on three chicks last week and they all went nuts man. Or, I moved my tongue like this and two dudes last week came like that *Snaps fingers dramatically*). People sometimes feel that they must sacrifice a part of themselves to have great sex, or forgo their own likes and dislikes to achieve that mysterious mind blowing sex that your best friend seems to have. All. The. Freaking. Time. Leaving you sitting there, wondering am I bad in bed?

If you forgo your likes and dislikes you’ve already lost the battle. If you’re doing something you can’t stand, you’ll never achieve the pinnacle because you’ll be focused on the idea that you’re doing something you don’t like to please someone else. If you’re on your knees sucking dick or whatever it is your doing and you’re wondering if they’re liking it, you’ve lost the battle. Let go, seriously. Just let it go. Relax in the moment and just do it. It’s like your special pair of underwear, the pants that you put on when the world seems dark, that instantly boost your mood, your lucky pants. There’s absolutely no reason why they’re special, no foundation but for some reason they make you feel better. Grab that feeling, that blasé-ness, and ride it all the way to the top.


By Stephen Smith a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Slow Sex is Better Sex

Women in Bed

You’re young, fit and eager! What’s more, regarding the matter of a lover in the bedroom, you nail it quick and hard. You may think that’s the way she prefers it as that’s what you see in the movies or when your watching pornography. The issue is, that’s not the way she actually likes it, as this is not the way people normally experience complete sexual delight. Today you will learn how to have some of the best sex in your life. You need to start by the simply acknowledgement that women and men are all different. People are unique and experience feelings completely different to each other. But what is most common among most people is that sex is better slower and steady. Slow and steady sex means more thought has been placed into what your lover enjoys. So the answer on how to have better sex and improve relationships, is to take sex slowly.

Give your lover the time to get up to the same speed as you. It has been said that when men climax quickly through intercourse. It can take men around 2 minutes of full on pumping whereas most women can only take about 14 minutes until they reach orgasm. If you crunch the number between both genders, there’s a 12-minute difference in timing! When you participate in sex at a slower, more conscience rate, you will help her achieve a higher quality orgrasm then what she has previously had. If you improve the sexual experience you are also increasing your chances for having more sexual intercourse. With men, they can practice to hold of their climax, this is a practice that called “edging”. Edging can amp up the force when you do at last cum, which will improving the sex and enjoyment you feel.


Man on Bottom


Why She Likes It Slow

  1. Just because a women is wet, doesn’t mean she’s close to peaking. She is naturally lubricated because she is thoroughly turned on meaning she wants to have sex with you that badly. For a decent general guideline: Take the amount of time that you think she needs, and times it by two. Now you are somewhat on the way to pleasing your woman. In the event that she’s ready sooner, you’ll know it.
  2. Synchronicity is misrepresented. Women of all ages couldn’t care less when we have a climax or the length it takes for us to get one. The more you empower a woman to climax and the slower you take things the more probable that gets to be. After she climaxes she will want to satisfy you more. All you have to do is listen to her sexual needs, if she wants you to go faster, go faster and if she wants you to go slower, go slower. Don’t follow the thing’s you see in porn, it is always best to follow what she needs. It nay feel uncomfortable to do it at first, but if you do, she will thank you for it!
  3. Hell, sex is enjoyable. You race through the workday and dependably attempt to be proficient, yet with regards to the play. If you are experiencing any sort of play, no matter the type of sexual play, make the most of it. She needs the break and joy as much as you do, and if you try your hardest you’ll get better at it.

Why You’ll Benefit from Taking Your Time

  1. Men need more time to recoup after climaxing during sex than ladies do. It’s known as the too intense period and there’s little you can do to speed it up. For a man once he comes that is often the end of show yet with a woman this can just be the opening act. Some men are able to reproduce sperm really quickly. This means some men can come multiple times in a day whilst other men may only be able to cum once a day.
  2. Sex is superior to drugs. As indicated by Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D., a porn star turned sexed instructor, sex advances the creation of torment diminishing pheromones called neuropeptides that give you that feel good and after glow feeling.
  3. Two words: stronger climaxes. The slower you take things, and the more times you draw near to the edge without going over, the all the more capable the orgasm will be the point at which you at long last go off.
  4. Sex will feel more private and intimate.

Slower sex communicates something specific that is the opposite of bim, bam, thank you ma’am, It’s more suggestive of issuing her time and permitting her to appreciate the joy.” Fundamentally, taking your time can change your ordinary routine into “fuck me more” and make it like you’re giving her warmth regardless of the fact that the sex is, in light of present circumstances, nothing new. You can be a superior stud in bed using this quick tip for better sex and women will be wanting you more. You can also add sex toys into the bedroom, we recommend Fun Factory as they are a high quality brand that may add a little bit of fun into the bedroom.


Making Love The Right Way!

couple kissing on truck

Love making is a process and not just an activity. Even wild animals take time to prepare for sex and humans have to as well. Foreplay is no longer about fondling each other and kissing. It now entails a wide variety of activities, thanks to the introduction of various adult toys. Women and men with lots of experience in sex agree that the best sexual encounters are characterized by a long and physical foreplay. The mind and the body have to be prepared; it is a journey whose destination is multiple wild orgasms due to increased enjoyment and sexual satisfaction. Unlike common belief, you don’t have to wait for your partner to start foreplay. Technically, you can start preparing yourself for sex long before your partner makes it to the door.

passionate couple on bed

First Base – A respectable starting point:

Concentrate on making out. With tongue. A study distributed in the diary Neuro Endocrinology Letters found that couples are more satisfied and less disturbed in the wake of kissing, and the warm, up close and personal contact supports fringe flowing proteins in the body that enhance general well being and prosperity.  Begin by planting a shut lip kiss on him as you rectify his tie or neckline. Delicately pull on his base lip with your teeth before presenting your tongue. Trace your tongue around the bends of his lips, giving careful consideration to the dainty skin at the corners.

Second Base – A respectable halfway point:

Clasping hands on your approach to supper is charming and all, yet copping a vibe in the auto before you stroll in? That is hot. Touch is vital all through a relationship, not simply at the outset when you’re adapting each other’s bodies. Couples who stroke their accomplice’s body encounter an expansion in suggestive emotions and general conjugal fulfillment.

So  you and your man are feeling somewhat lively in an isolated corner of a bar, a dim motion picture theater, or the back of a taxi, don’t stop each other’s hands far from investigating underneath your shirt or over his jeans. Even better, channel your immaturity by getting off with your garments still on: Rub up against each other at a show or on a dance floor. Simply be slower and more considerate with your movements, so you can maintain a strategic distance from that clumsy, now and again fumbling attempts at foreplay you did as a young person.

Third Base – Almost there:

Once you’re in the privacy of your own room, you may have gotten into the propensity for hurrying through this base which incorporates any hand or oral activities. It’s a disgrace, considering that both men and ladies in the long term relationships wish foreplay would last more than 18 minutes all out.   After requesting that he close his eyes, wet your hands with lube and use them to stroke his balls while you perform oral sex. The blend of your smooth hands and mouth will give him the impression of two mouths on him rather than one and will most likely send him over the edge. After that have him go on top of you between your legs and roll the sides of his tongue together so it frames a tube.  Get him to slide his tongue all through you while squeezing his lips into you with a specific end goal to make wet suction beginning gradually and after that increasing the pace. Attempt a  whole heap of  third-base foreplay acts this way and you’ll both will probably achieve a very monumental sex session.

Home Base:

More often than not, you’re going to go the distance. Sex that has had this fore play is not the same as a let’s-get-bare and-do-it fast in and out—particularly if you, or your partner, have already climaxed. If that is the situation, it brings in a whole new ball-game as you are both still horny but have climaxed so bring in the big guns.  A bit of stimulating ointment or some sex toys and get ready for orgasm number two.

Relax during this process and it is imperative that you concentrate on the objective but take it easy otherwise you may psych yourself out. Control your breathing with the goal that it’s moderate and gentle, and convey to each other about what spots are the hot ones, or which moves feel simply right. By and large, consider returning to the basics if it becomes uncomfortable.

Why Not Add Some Spice?

In fact, if you are female, you can purchase the best female condoms which should be inserted eight hours before sex. Add a little spice in your relationship on your own before your partner makes a jubilant entry to the bedroom. Men can always find something from an adult store to set the mood. You may love a decorative cock ring. The ring, which cannot actually be used during sex, may just turn your partner on, and by the time you start romping it away, she will be wet, yearning for a really hot sexual activity. It is how we dress and act that makes our partners want to know more about what lies underneath and by the time you get to that bit, the table will be set, the food is served and ready to be eaten to your fill.

Undressing alone can complement foreplay.

Find an appealing lingerie and costume that your partner would love to watch you take off; go for simple but sexy. Kissing is a usual foreplay activity, oral sex and cuddling. You can find gags and blinds from the bdsm shops online at very affordable prices and surprise each other. Nothing beats total submission when it comes to sex and it is highly recommended. Is there a foreplay procedure, like a manual men and women should follow? Experts don’t think so. It is just how you let things fall in place. So long as you don’t rush to the main course before the appetizer, then all is well. What most sexual partners should be worried about is how to attain maximum sexual satisfaction, go for what you are ok with.

Sex is a very enjoyable activity. During foreplay, stimulate the sensitive parts, like the clits, nipples, oral sex or use a wide variety of adult toysr. This means that you should equip yourself with at least two toys of your choice. Finally, before you get busy, don’t forget the condom-you can find all types, shapes, sizes and flavors to spice things up.

19 Tips to Rekindle Your Sexual Spark

Man Kissing Ladies Back Near Bra Strap

The internet is full of challenges and dares and all sorts of different things to make life interesting. Indeed, it seems that every few months a new challenge comes out daring us to do something crazy and upload it online. I was watching an old episode of Desperate Housewives the other day, and the challenge between Lynette and Tom Scarvo is that they have sex every day for a month. The point of something like this is to develop intimacy within the relationship between the two individuals involved. Below you’ll find a list of various sex challenges and fun sex ideas. Cross them off the list, and see how you go!


reading tips of laptop

  1. Hop together under a hot shower with the lights off. Soap each other up in the most sensual way possible.  Use a loofah to create some suds, if you’re after a truly sensual time – go out and buy some body wash in a scent that arouses you both.  There’s few things hotter than shower sex, and especially if noise is an issue, just swap it from a sensual encounter to a quickie!
  2. Have sex in utter silence. Use only facial expressions to communicate with each other. Something like this is perfect to use adult toys during foreplay: female vibrator and maybe even a male masturbator and neither of you are allowed to verbally say anything. Say it with the body. Agree on a punishment for the one who breaks the silence such as a household chore. Or you could be truly seductive and whoever breaks the rules must give the other partner a pleasurable massage.
  3. Spice up the missionary position by handcuffing your hands above your head, adding a blindfold and wrapping your feet around his ankles, taking him closer as he penetrates you. Release your sense of control and ride the waves of pleasure without inhibitions.
  4. Make love lying on your side. Your partner can penetrate you deeply, while playing with your breasts/cock/nipples at the same time, and brush your butt against him. This is excitement and pleasure for both of your bodies as you both anticipate the movements against each other.
  5. Sit in your partners without any clothes on you…except boots/stockings/jockstrap. You are not allowed to touch yourself, only to work your partner and rely on them to pleasure you. Some may feel that this is a little one sided, and perhaps it is, however it’s about exploring your partners body and learning which ways to pleasure them and bring them to the precipice of climax.
  6. Perfect oral sex technique: pretend that his penis is an ice-cream that is melting fast. You have to lick him from different angles, catching drops that drip, lick him and take him whole in your mouth – it’s a great way to practice the gag reflex as well. Add some flavoured lubricant for some extra flavour, or you can even use some desensitizing flavoured gel if you’re still having trouble. Alternatively, use the same technique for cunnilingus.
  7. When in a position where you are on top, hold your partners hands above their head and gently bite down on the skin between the elbow and armpit. This will surely awaken their passion!
  8. Here’s a small collection of fun sex ideas, try leaning on a wall while he is entering you from behind – add to it, by not taking off your lingerie or by only wearing a skirt. There is a reason why this position is so often used in porn dvds and in erotic magazines.
  9. Lie naked next to your partner, brush your breasts on him and encourage him to tell you all his dirty desires. Give him sex a toy bought in one of the best adult stores online and tell him to use it on you as he wishes.
  10. Show him sexy underwear bought from a lingerie store. Tell him to slowly take it off you, kissing and stroking every inch of your body while undressing.
  11. Oil your palms and fingers with lubricant. Then firmly wrap your fingers around his penis and move them up and down, or in the case of a female use your fingers to stimulate them either with sensual caressing, or rough fingering. Obviously dependent on both of your moods.
  12. For the Girls – show him that you don’t wear panties by taking his hand and putting it under your skirt without a single word. For the boys, either use a jock strap or put your partners hand wordlessly on your hard dick. Obviously, use manners and decorum for either of these scenarios. There’s a difference between being seductive and being a selfish partner.
  13. Let your partner lie over you and enter from behind. Then put your legs together so they are between his. This is the perfect position for deep G-spot and P-spot stimulation.
  14. While you are driving somewhere, get off the road and find some lone spot where you can have sex in your car. It will be even more exciting if you can hear traffic, because it will feel like someone can see you at any moment.
  15. Buy something in an adult novelty store and write your partner instructions on how they will use it on you.
  16. Point a hairdryer towards your partner while stroking him with ice cubes. Because of warm air the touch of ice on skin will be extra-cold, and when you put your lips on his body, he will suddenly experience a sudden rush of passion.
  17. Order him to stay still while doing it doggie style, whilst you slowly circle with your hips. Just because you’re on the bottom doesn’t mean you’re not in charge.
  18. While you are on top during sex, hold each other hands. This will be an amazing way to exchange the incredible sexual energy that is circulating in your bodies.
  19. Introduce sex toys into your bedroom


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