Edging 101: What To Do and How To Get Started

Man kissing his girlfriend

“When you are pulling against the restraints… when your back is arched and your hips are writhing… when your mouth is open in a silent scream of tortured rapture… you will know that my work has begun”. – Pleasure Torture

Edging or orgasm control can be achieved through masturbation or help from a partner. We have partnered up with Bait’D Designs BDSM, Sex, and Jewelry Blog to teach you how to get started edging for your first time.

What is Edging?

During sex, BDSM, and kinks, achieving orgasms is not the only thing that can bring you or your partner pleasure. Edging is a popular method that involves controlling orgasms by bringing you or your partner to the brink of orgasm, and then right before it happens, you back away. Then you repeat this process over and over again, building up your sexual energy until you or your partner finally allow you to achieve an orgasm. The sexual energy building up to an orgasm can be similar to the sexual energy you build from celibacy. You can repeat the edging process multiple times to intensify you or your partner’s orgasm. For men, this exercise can increase the volume of ejaculation and force of ejaculation. This can be effective especially for men who suffer from premature ejaculation. Other popular terms that can describe the act of edging are peaking, surfing, or riding the edge.

Edging For Women

Edging for women is a difficult process to master. You want to focus on getting her to approach an orgasm, but don’t let it actually happen. Some people find it beneficial for the women to alert their partner when they are getting close to an orgasm so that their partner knows when to back off. When men typically hear that their women is about to ‘cum’, their usual instinct is to go harder, but in the case of edging, this requires some discipline from both participants. It is important to remember that as you are edging a woman, the smallest change can make a huge impact. Sometimes change will make a women lose the build up to an orgasm, or it may bring her over the edge. Losing an orgasm will send her into the refractory period, and then you will have to start over to build up that orgasm again. Staying consistent is key and the lighter touch, the better. In fact, 70% of women who like edging say lighter touches help to reduce the pressure when climax is near. Everyone is different so what works for one women may not work for another.

If you are going in solo you will also need to have some discipline as well. Our natural instinct is to keep going when something feels good, so you will need to be able to slow down and prevent yourself from orgasm, especially since you know your body best.

There are a variety of methods you can use to perform edging on a woman, but the easiest would be with the external clit (or clitoris). You can perform edging on your lady partner by rubbing, licking, and other movements. For a more advanced way to edge a women, you can try G-spot stimulation. The G-spot orgasm is harder to control because you are dealing with the sensitivity of the vagina walls, as well as vulva stimulation. It is recommended that you start out with a vibrator or dildo instead to stay more consistent in this area if you are just starting to learn how to edge.

Dom overpowering woman
Image: Dom

Edging For Men

Benefits for edging men include increased testosterone levels, lasting longer during sex, and self-discipline. Edging for men also helps to minimize or overcome premature ejaculation when done properly and consistently. During the edging process you are training the brain to be comfortable achieving a high level of sexual pleasure without ejaculating. Much like edging for a women, edging a man also follows the same principles. The giver and receiver must be disciplined and not get over excited during this process.

Edging for a man can occur with a hand job, blow job, vibrating cock ring, or whatever tickles your fancy. Let your imagination explore the possibilities. It is recommended that edging is done without the use of porn for a more controlled environment.

For men, there is also a popular ballooning technique that is similar to the edging, but a lot of men who have done it feel it is better than edging. Ballooning begins by masturbating and gently rubbing the sensitive part of the penis until full erection is achieved. Continue to stimulate and then just before ejaculation, you slow down the stimulation. At this time, you should incorporate medium Kegels exercises as you inhale, and then release the Kegels as you exhale. You should increase the intensity of the Kegels upon every inhale, and repeat this process just like you are doing reps in the gym. During intercourse, this technique can also provide a stimulating effect for the women.

Edging As A Dominant

Edging is often used as a way for a dominant to take control of their submissive by using erotic denial as control. Some masters allow their slave to masturbate without orgasm. Masters will usually give their slaves tasks and will tell a slave how many times during the day they should take themselves to the edge of orgasm and stop. The slave learns that their orgasms are owned by their master and practices control and discipline. The master can also incorporate punishments when they orgasm. Beyond edging, orgasm control for a dominant or master can also mean not allowing your slave/submissive to stop cumming until they beg you to stop.

It’s always beneficial to spice up your sexual routine. Now you know the basics, so get out there and experience edging for yourself! Whether you are going in solo, edging your partner, or receiving, the benefits from edging will help enhance you and your partner’s sex life for the better.

6 Sure Fire Tantra Methods!

Half Naked Couple In Bed Photo

My 25 years on this earth have led me to many conclusions and realisations, the most relevant right now being that sex is one of the most exciting topics of conversation. I don’t know if it’s the people I seem to attract into my life or my own willingness to turn any conversation into one about sex but I end up talking about it all the time (Working in an Adult Store and studying Sexology, it’s expected with the territory too I guess!!).

I notice how so many men and women light up when given the space to discuss one of the most intimate areas of their lives. It fills me with so much joy when I have people come into an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres shy and nervous initially and then leave talking explicitly about sex and not wanting to stop.

Sex and the overt representation of sexuality is everywhere in our lives, from advertising and social media to pornography and films. Despite this, there is a lack of frank conversation about sexuality meaning many people have a warped perception of what healthy sexuality looks and feels like. One of the concerns with society’s widespread unwillingness to discuss sexuality is that when it comes to developing healthy sexual relationships, many people are unsure of how to speak of sex with the people they’re actually having it with.

I know of many people who struggle to talk openly with their intimate partners about sex sometimes resulting in unhealthy consequences. The repercussions of leaving things unspoken with our intimate partners can result in unnecessary conflicts, physical and emotional trauma and general unfulfilling sex lives.

We miss out on accessing the potential of our capacity to feel exquisite pleasure because we struggle to ask for what we like and we remain silent when something doesn’t feel good.

I recall a time a couple of years ago when I was being intimate with a new lover and he asked what it was I wanted. I remember freezing in fear and had no idea how to put what felt good for my body in words. I think I ended up saying something along the lines of “what you’re doing” just because I was so mortified that I didn’t know how to ask for what I desired.

Couple Having Breakfast In Bed Photo
Photo: Romantic Couple Having Breakfast In Bed

Throwing myself in the deep end shortly after this experience, I discovered the world of Tantra and Conscious Sexuality which provided me with some tools I needed to communicate clearly with my intimate partners. I’ve including the following tips that if applied, have the potential to lead to greater levels of intimacy, connection and pleasure in your sexual relationships:

1. Be Open To Talk About Sex

Speaking of any discomforts you may have around talking about sex is an excellent first step. Let your partner know that you would like to be more open discussing sex and acknowledge the fact that it may be a difficult conversation to begin for the both of you. Express the importance of opening this conversation and speak with honesty.

2. Use Explicit Words

If the thought of even speaking words associated with sex makes you cringe, I recommend trying this exercise with your partner. Jump in the deep end and throw explicit words at one another. It may go something like this “Cock, pussy, lick, anal, orgasm, cum, wet, squirt.” Think of this as the ultimate “ice-breaker.” Come up with as many words as you can that you identify as sexual and get used to saying them to each other. In little to no time, it will be a breeze to say what you need without shame or embarrassment. Make it fun and playful because sex is supposed to be!

3. Take Ownership Of Your Feelings

Stay away from blame and take ownership of how you feel. Instead of “You’re really bad in bed and you need to change” turn it into “I am feeling like there is so much more I want to experience sexually and I would love to try this with you next time.”

4. Try The Palm Exercise

Take in turns tickling each other’s palms with your fingers and make adjustments that will lead to a more pleasurable experience. “May I have a softer touch?” “Can you move your finger faster/slower?” “Can you give the top right hand corner more attention?” Becoming used to asking for what you need in a non-sexual activity will translate to greater comfort and ease asking for what we desire sexually.

5. Invest In Adult Lifestyle Products

Invest in sex toys for couples to make your lifestyle easier.

6. Get To Know Your Body

Last but certainly not least, get to know your own body and what feels pleasurable to you. I cannot express the importance of this enough!! If you don’t know what feels good to your body, how can you expect that you can communicate clearly to your partner? Sex can be a hit or miss and expecting your partner to know everything that turns you on is a lot of pressure.

When talking about sex with your partner/s becomes easeful, the possibilities to explore sexuality and sexual expression are endless. You can try different things, express fantasies and desires and get to know your partner more deeply…in more ways than one!! You can also talk about what is Tantra Sex and how to incorporate into your lifestyle.

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA NursingSave

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7 Sex Tips that Women Wish Men Knew

Sex can be easy and fun! Just follow these 7 Sex Tips that Women Wish Men Knew to instantly become a better lover. This guide is helpful whether you have just met someone through Tinder or whether you are in a long term relationship.

  • How to Find Her Erogenous Zones: Many people focus on the clitoris, nipples and G-Spot when it comes to pleasuring women. But there are other erogenous zones that are sensitive to touch. Caress your hands over her body and explore her curves. Ask her to let you know when you come across a sensitive area that arouses her when you touch it. Take your time to softly kiss these areas. Gently breathe on the areas to turn her on. A popular area that most people enjoy being massaged is on the sides of their neck. Remember what she enjoys the most for future reference.
  • Be Spontaneous with Dirty Talk: When you are out on a date with your lover and you find a quiet moment between the two of you. Let her know how much she turns you on and what about her you love the most. You can try saying something like “I love the way your hair falls near your face” or “You are so beautiful when you smile like that”. It can be surprising to receive compliments from your partner especially if it is out of character. If you find she enjoy the compliments, try your hand at dirty talking. Let her know everything that you will do to her later.
  • Play With Her Breasts: Breast stimulation can be performed by licking, touching, nibbling and pinching the nipples. They may become erect as she becomes more aroused which makes her body even more sensitive. During this process her body produces oxytocin which helps to create feelings of trust, it also can decrease the feelings of anxiety. Normally people provide pinpoint stimulation to the nipples. Remember to massage the area around her nipples. Sometimes areas that are forgotten can provide some of the most arousing feelings.The lower amount of stimulation can make her beg for more. You can also try biting gently on a nipple when she is about to orgasm. Some women are very lucky as they can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone.
Couple Eskimo Kiss Photo
Photo: Couple Kissing
  • Give Her a Shower: Showering can be a very sensual activity. Ask your partner if they would like to join you in the shower. Suggest to her that you would like to wash her body. Turn on the shower to a warm temperature that will keep the two of you warm. Lather up the soap within your hands. Massage your hands across her body. Wash her slowly down her neck, shoulder and waist. When you feel she is comfortable you can begin to wash her breasts, stomach and back. If she is aroused and happy with how things are going you can lather up more soap and massage her vagina. You can also ask her to clean your body to. Once you have finished showering, take her to the bedroom for some more private fun. Giving someone else a sexual shower can help to create a stronger relationship as they are trusting you to take care of their body. To make this moment even more personal, you can try having a bubble bath.
  • Put On A Show: It is natural to get sexually excited when you watch your lover touch themselves. When people masturbate, they are able to achieve maximum amounts of pleasure. This will be sure to get you both hot and heated. Masturbation is an activity that most people do in private so it can seen as a forbidden experience to. If you are nervous, you can ask your partner to give a helping hand. You can also invest in a sex toy to use which will definitely bring things to a whole new level.
  • Spoon Her: Spooning is always fun to do, especially when you are watching a movie together. Spoon her, she may adore feeling an erection gently placed behind her. If she is aroused, she may begin gently grinding against your body. You are than able to, massage her inner thighs and her body from behind. You can do a lot of things that will surprise her with every touch.
  • Ask Her to Take Control: Sometimes people are used to the give and take of sex. Ask her to take complete control, it may be a completely new experience for the both of you. This can make her go wild and take control of how much pleasure she can give to herself. She will ride you to build her orgasm as much as possible. With this type of sex, ask her to look directly in your eyes. You both will be entrapped within the moment. You will be able to find out what precisely she likes. So next time you are on top, give her what she wants!

 

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7 Ways to Make Public Sex Fun

Publicly Kissing

13 Tips For Better Sex

We all want to have better sex so why not follow 13 easy steps to improve your love life.

 

Couple Kissing Each Other
Photo: 13 Tips For Better Sex – Couple Sex
  1. Avoid straying your thoughts while having sex: This involves having the right attitude about better sex. To fully experience the pleasure of sex, you have to free yourself of negative feelings such as self-consciousness, guilt, bad judgment, and other hang-ups. That also means you must avoid worrying about your unfinished work in the office or the things you’re going to do the next day while making love with your partner. Just savor the moment and enjoy each other.
  2. Relax and don’t pressure yourself: Mind-blowing sex shouldn’t be forced. You have to allow it to happen. In many instances, reaching orgasm triggers anxiety especially to women who pressure themselves into performing well during sex. That’s why many women subconsciously conceal their sexual problem by faking an orgasm. That’s simply not the essence of sex. It’s advised that you relax and enjoy the intimate moments you have with your partner.
  3. Be healthy and stay fit: You’re probably aware that people who get a lot of better sex are happier people. This, in fact, is supported by several studies. To be able to have more sex, you need more energy. Enough sleep, plenty of rest, adequate exercise, and balanced diet can increase your sexual stamina. These good factors induce better blood circulation to the sex organs, which is very crucial to arousal and orgasm.
  4. Relieve yourself from stress: Find ways to reduce stress to raise the chances of arousal. Why not go on a date with your partner at least once a week? Or you can make your sex life more exciting and steamy by taking a shower together or spending an intimate night by the beach.
  5. Accept and love your body: Do you hate yourself for being flat chested or overweight? Just because you don’t have an ideal cup size, it doesn’t mean you can’t have great sex. Your negative feelings toward your body can only ruin your sensuality. What matters is how good your body feels when you’re having sex with your partner. Learn to love your body and all its curves. Perhaps, you’re not aware that your big curves look sexy to your spouse.
  6. Don’t be afraid to explore and experiment: Sharing passion with your partner shouldn’t be too serious. Think of sex as a fun activity – you are free to be creative and to try things differently. For example, you can talk with your partner about your fantasies and find out how you can turn them into reality. Also, discover what turns you on in bed.
  7. Communicate: Finally, getting xsales better sex also needs good communication between partners. Don’t be afraid to speak up to your partner regarding your sexual relationship. This will lead to an understanding of each other’s sexual needs, thus leading to a greater sexual life.
  8. Stop Trying so Hard: Too many people feel that couples sex is much like what they will see in pornographic movies. The truth is, trying this hard during sex will lead to disappointment and more often than not, some pain and discomfort. The experience will certainly not be as enjoyable as it appears on the television.
  9. Incorporate Outside Items: There is certainly nothing wrong with incorporating sexual aid devices or toys in your routine with your partner. Perhaps the female in the relationship has a hard time achieving orgasm with straight intercourse. The solution can be to stimulate the clitoris with a vibrator while having sex. The combination of sensations is likely to produce much more sensation and result in climax. This suddenly makes a sex life more enjoyable to all parties involved.
  10. Discuss with your partner about your sexual relationship: How would your partner know if you’re no longer pleased whenever you make love? Being open to each other can do wonders in your sex life. With good communication, there’s less chance of spending nights in the bedroom with your backs turned to one another. You’ll feel more at ease with each other again and share the passion that you once had. And once the passion has revived, let your partner know how much you appreciate your night together. You can write him a note saying that last night was the best on your first honeymoon. Soon, you’ll realize how better sex life is if you maintain and open and constant communication with your partner.
  11. Enhance your libido by changing your diet: Certain food options can turn your sex life from good to better, as they trigger your desire and passion in the bedroom. How about sipping warm coffee mixed with a bit of chocolate and cinnamon before you head to the bedroom? This can get you in the mood.
  12. Get some warm-up: Aside from aphrodisiacs, there are other ways you can do to set some erotic mood. One great idea is to enjoy a bubble bath with your partner. Or you can spend a romantic dinner with red wine in the bedroom. It’s easy to achieve better sex life if you spend more intimate times with your partner before you have sex.
  13. Try something new: Variety makes a person look forward to something new. Have fun trying various positions with your partner. The pleasure that variety in better sex position brings can indeed make you look forward to something new every time you make love. Trying out a new sex position or style ensures that you won’t get bored with your sexual life.

 

 

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