Freedom In Relationships!

Would you believe me if I told you that you can be in a relationship and have your absolute freedom?

I know that it may sound too good to be true for many of you. I have to admit that even I am coming to terms with the fact that the two can coexist.

What exactly do I mean when I speak of freedom? I’m not talking about that kind of free love, do whatever you want, fuck whoever you want kind of attitude that sees destructive behaviors normalized and people hurt. When I say freedom, I mean living life on your own terms and working towards those things that are really important to you whilst being loving and respectful towards your partner.

I completely empathise with those who cannot fathom the possibility of freedom in relationship. I feel at times somewhat of a conflict between living as a sovereign being who is whole and complete on her own and being in a loving relationship. Figuring out how the two can coexist can be a struggle. It seems that I become stuck in old patterns of thought at times as I attempt to make way for a new reality where absolute freedom goes hand in hand with the connection with my partner. “Do I really deserve to have both?” I often ask myself.

What I have come to know throughout my life up until recently is that freedom & relationship do not go together. Being in an intimate relationship in the past has meant sacrifice and giving up on those things I deeply desire. My only reference of what relationship meant growing up and in my previous relationship was one where constant compromise was seemingly necessary in order to “sustain” the relationship. There exists an idea of compromise and sacrifice when it comes to our intimate relationships, that to be in a loving relationship means we must relinquish certain things in our life for the other person.

I really want to clarify the ideas of “compromise” and “making sacrifices” in relationship as I believe them to be destructive when taken the wrong way. I don’t believe that we can go around in our life & in any of our relationships doing whatever the hell we want with little regard for others. Showing compassion and respect to others is vital if we’re to develop and sustain any relationships. With that in mind I don’t feel that we need to compromise on the big things that really matter to us. Our values and morals must be followed if we are to live in integrity. Our own unique path in life should not be neglected or compromised because we choose to spend it with another person.

Freeing Relationships
Free Relationships

Being in a relationship with a man over the last year who encourages me to live my life as I desire has caused me to re-evaluate my idea of freedom in a relationship. I am lovingly supported to follow my own path which can often conflict with my old belief that singledom is the only time when I can live my absolute truth.

My recent celibacy journey has deeply changed the person I have come to know as me. This means that right now I am attempting to get to know who I am and what I want from my life. Self-inquiry like this is challenging at times but I know it to be crucial for growth and expansion in all areas of my life. My previous patterns of thought would have me believe that I need to be single at this time to figure all of this out for myself, when in fact I am actually called to do this whilst being in relationship with another.

If I thought deep inner work was hard when I was single, being in a relationship trying to figure out “who the hell I am” is next level!! Having my freedom has meant taking a whole heap of space for myself and not being as available to my partner emotionally or physically.

 

Freedom can look so different for every individual. Freedom can mean having a non-monogamous relationship, being celibate, choosing to spend a week away on your own or simply choosing to do your own thing in life while your partner does theirs’s.

Freedom in relationship is only possible if you’re are willing and able to communicate your needs and desires clearly. I highly recommend having the conversations that may feel uncomfortable as opposed to supressing what you need until you reach breaking point.

Where in your relationship are you sacrificing your freedom for another? How can you open yourself up to the reality that freedom and a beautiful relationship coexist? How can you come to believe that you never have to compromise on the big things in life in order to be with another person?

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2 Replies to “Freedom In Relationships!”

  1. What I believe does not matter. If we live in free speech countries, then censorship must not exist, aside cases like pedopornography or the like. People should be free to listen and believe to whatever news or propaganda they want. There cannot be any exception, otherwise we are accepting that freedom actually does not exist. There is no such thing as limiting freedom in order to defend freedom, these are paradoxes that only prove that freedom is a flawed concept.

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