2021 Sexual Needs

Living in 2021

2020 has been an absolute mess, this whole year is one to put in the bin, 2021 could not come soon enough for majority of the population. Weddings cancelled, no festivals, a whole pandemic, people missing funerals, births, important milestones that should have been celebrated have been put on the back burner. Well, it’s coming to the end of the year and I think we should all have one date, a date with the most important person in your life… You.

It’s been tough and you need to treat yourself for getting through it like the absolute trooper that you are, self-care has never been more important. Honestly celebrate you however you do it, but this is my step by step guide to taking yourself on a date.

Step One:
Order your favourite take out (or cook your favourite comfort food), I don’t care if you’re on a diet, you have earned this. In a year where a lot of huge things have been taken from us, you deserve this little thing as a congratulations for getting through it. Eat that, eat dessert, have seconds and thirds and fourths, whatever fills the void that 2020 has made in all of us.

Step Two:
Run yourself a bath, get some bubbles going, light some candles, play some music (in my case I usually pop on my favourite show), and just relax. I really cannot recommend Wildfire Black more, it’s such an amazing 4 in 1 oil, but a pump or two in the bath will leave you feeling amazing inside and out! Now what you do in the bath is totally up to you, you can start the big celebrations in here if you like, nothing better than masturbating in the bath sometimes. I like to take the time to wash everything super slow and just take my time taking care of myself. It really is the little things and taking the time to go over every part of your body slowly while cleaning is so relaxing, this is definitely one of the things we skip over with the day to day happening.

Step 3:
Do your skin care! Moisturise everything! All the lotions and serums and whatever!! It doesn’t matter if it’s a 12 step routine or a 2 step, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and nourish from the outside in. COVID has really made some people forget that taking care of yourself and simply existing is so important, especially to help you de-stress from everything going on. Fuck it, put on a facemask and keep watching your shows, or listening to music, just find your zen in this time, use it to really remind yourself that you’re doing great and this year hasn’t gotten the best of you.

Step 4:
Do something you love, have a dance, bake some cookies, read a bit, go on a google deep dive, SIT ON TIKTOK FOR AN HOUR. It doesn’t matter what you do here, as long as it makes you happy you’re doing it right, self care is about making the heart happy and full. I should probably take my own advice and do some reading, I bought Midnight Sun as soon as it came out and I’m still only 15 pages in… Anyway!

Step 5:
My favourite step, of course. Masturbate!! I cannot write about de-stressing from a horrific year without including masturbation, it’s the good vibe hot spot. Again, dim the lights (or don’t 😉), light some candles, or use an oil burner you can go to the Wildfire Black again for this one as it can be used as an aroma and it includes aphrodisiacs so if the bath didn’t get you in the mood that definitely will. Get your favourite sex toy out, dress up if you want. And do you (pun intended). Nothing releases happy hormones quite like a bit of one on one time with yourself! And then tuck yourself into bed, you’ll have the best sleep of your life, trust me!


This is obviously just my advice and how I would do it, but the point is you don’t have to follow this, just be sure to take some time to do the things that you like, that help you feel the best you can.

2020 has been rough for everyone, it really has, and we all deserve a night dedicated to ourselves. Whether that’s from you to you, with a partner, going to a gym class, working on your car, or as I said taking care of yourself and taking care of your sexual needs.

Just be sure to make it so that at least one day this year was all about you, and end it on a good note, let’s go into 2021 taking care of ourselves and existing happily in the world, and let’s hopefully leave COVID in 2020 where it belongs.

DIGNITY: A Power People Respect!

It is in times of crisis or hardship that the true colors of an individual are shown.  It is easy to crumble and blame, vent or even surrender but those that step up and act with honesty and decorum are those that we admire the most.  When the odds are stacked against, people with dignity tap into some universal source of power that enables them to perform above and beyond that of normal people inspiring those around them to support and respect them.

Dignity is an attribute lacking in many modern day politicians that believe the only way up is to sling mud around them in order for them to rise the ranks.  In other words to not only take advantage of but create misfortune for other people for their own personal gain.  There are too few ‘honest’ politicians out there that ‘do’ rather than say.  Regardless of what people thought about him I believe our former Prime Minister Tony Abbot was one such person.

Dignity requires one to circumvent the daily squabbles causing malicious resentments and get on with the job.  Find other people that are leading their lives not for their own selfish fulfillment but for the betterment of others, regardless of what consequences may arise because of it.  Look at Nelson Mandela – now there is the perfect example of living with dignity above and beyond what 99.9% of us can.

In adversary how do you handle yourself?  Do you break down and cry?  Do you blame someone else?  Do you try and sabotage?  These are common reactions but undignified.  Those with a lack of self-esteem tend to get angry, and in order to feel better will denigrate another.

Imagine having billions of dollars but giving away more than you earn?  Bill Gates one of the world’s wealthiest men has in his philanthropist ways.  He has given away his personal current worth many times over and has numerous charity trusts and projects.  He also will not be leaving all his remaining money to his kids – obviously setting them up but his outlook is that no one person deserves such wealth and has openly said that although he has paid every tax dollar he owed believes he should have paid more to contribute to society and people.  Could you be that dignified?

Each day dignity is being redefined in actions by every day people.  The smallest act of dignity can have a rippling effect through family, community, government and even the world.  Being aware and compassion are side attributes of dignity.

I choose to live the most dignified life I can.  Will you?