Love Is Fear!

FEAR: Love is fear is something in a relationship that had previously taken on a whole different meaning. Fear should not mean you are fearful of your partner.

This week I had a huge wake up call in my life, I learnt a very valuable secret about love and relationships.

Fear is actually a very useful feeling within a relationship if you pay attention closely to the reasons why you are a fearful.

An Explanation of Love is Fear

It is an emotion that will surface within any relationship as it is a crucial feeling.  But it doesn’t always have to end badly.

It is so incredibly normal to feel fear within a relationship, as it is normal to feel scared, insecure, doubtful.  And not completely in-touch with your partner.

Unlike previous experiences I don’t feel scared of my partner.  I feel scared that the relationship won’t work out.  And I am not insecure because my partner makes me feel that way. I feel insecure that I am not good enough for him.

And I am not doubtful of my partner.  I am feeling doubtful that I really can love this person to the best of my ability.

Nothing is actually wrong.

But yet I feel challenges that are different to previous feelings I’ve had.

Marianne Williamson explains in “a return to love” that relationships equate to earning a PhD in love.  She says

“When we’re not in a relationship, the ego makes it seem as though all the pain would go away if we were.  If the relationship lasts, however, it will actually bring much of our existential pain to the surface. That’s part of its purpose.  It will demand all of our skills at compassion, acceptance, release, forgiveness, and selflessness.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Most people assume love means no more pain, no more troubles, no more arguments, and no more fears.  But truth is love brings out all these feelings plus more!

Doubt, rejection, jealousy, anger, frustration and confusion.

All those emotions show us how much we are invested into the relationship.  And if it is worth all these emotions.

We only ever hear about the good things in relationships

Yep, we do not learn about the all the other emotions.  When these emotions do surface we become confused and stumped and we begin to doubt our feelings of love.

We all know relationships take work.  But we also are told that love will always conquer.

Truth is we are told relationships shouldn’t be hard, but they are.

Relationships are Hard – Fact.

They make you question every sense of your being, they make you question if the person with you is right for you.  If you can handle all their quirks, all their bad habits, all their good habits or if its love or hate.

We need to look at the fears we have and invest into the reasons why we have those fears.

True love isn’t just a fairy-tale with only happy endings.   Love will make you feel the whole spectrum of emotions the good and the bad.

Pinnacle of romantic love

Is the aspirations we all have in life to one day experience.

The part I struggled with is that I had only ever been in abusive relationships.

That has skewed my interpretation of love and hate, of struggles and of fear.  What I have learnt is to never believe that there is something wrong with your relationship just because it seems to be challenging at times.

Greatest challenges you face will be within your greatest love relationship

This is the relationship you will question yourself the most.

Question your partner the most and truly have an internal argument back and forth with yourself about if this is what it really feels like.

love is fear two wooden hearts
Loving One Another

Love will never be easy.

Relationships should be amazing, deeply loving and you should feel truly connected with your special person.  But remember there will be hard times. There will be boring times, there will be mediocre times and there are times where your fear will get the best of you.

I’ll let you in on some feelings I have that I have never experienced before in this capacity.

As of recently I have been questioning myself.

Questioning myself as to if I am truly good enough, if I deserve this kind of love.  Or if all the fears I am feeling are latching onto the doubt and insecurities I have from previous relationships.

Previously my gut told me that if my partner didn’t message me he was not interested anymore and previously I was correct.

The difference now is that when my partner doesn’t message me he is busy at work or driving or is asleep.

Previously when I felt insecure about myself

It was because my partner had made me feel that way with his actions and his comments.  Now when I feel insecure about myself it is because I am struggling to believe I deserve this amazing person in my life.  And I want to be the best I can be for him and for me.

Fear stops you momentarily from being the authentic and vulnerable self that you are.  And fear tries to trick me into being someone who I am not.

The old me would believe these fears and allow it to ruin a good relationship by over thinking a situation.

But the new me can stand back and assess the reasons why I feel these fears.

Fear is simply the amount of love I have for that person

Less walls means more vulnerabilities which means I am more my authentic self then I have ever been before.

Anxiety makes you feel that these fears are bad and damaging.

But love means these fears are you.  You are your true authentic self completely open, completely vulnerable, but also so full of love.

Love over fear

Both are such powerful emotions.  If I remember this every time doubt fills my head, the more I will be my true self and the more love will flourish in my relationship.

Love is finding the compassions, forgiveness, truths, and the peace that will stop our greatest fears from surfacing.

What we have to understand is that the greatest relationship is where our grestest fears will come to the surface the most.  It will challenge every part of you but it will also make you and your relationship stronger.

Relationships take our courage and commitment

To make us work for it, fear will make us understand true love in its most profound sense.

I wish it was at this point that I could tell you how best to stay calm when fear arises.  And how best to tackle the situations of fear when they arise.

Truth is I can’t.

The truth is only you can accept and understand when fear comes into your relationship and be able to step back and asses why.

When you completely put your heart, love and fear into someone, the more clarity you will begin to have and begin to appreciate.

Love is your most authentic self.  Only our greatest love will get to experience our most authentic self.


love is fear of the unknown
Woman in red lingerie and a big heart

Feel The Beat With Rianne-S Heart!!

The Heart is a handheld heart shaped personal massager manufactured by adult company Rianne S which was founded by Rianne Swierstra in 2010.

It is her mission to celebrate women.  And encourage them to explore their sexual desires and sexuality to create a fulfilling sex life for themselves.

Rianne designed the iconic Forbidden Fruit, with which she posed for Playboy Magazine and earned an AVN award nomination.

She also creates vlogs

Rianne has become the go-to person for Benelux media outlets when it wants a fresh and female point of view on sensual accessories and sexual wellness.

Her aim is to provide women with sex toys that are tailored to be experimented with for the ultimate sexual satisfaction.  Rianne the designer, actually designs burlesque clothing.

When you see this toy and how it is packaged that comes as no surprise.

This brand really gives its closest competitor, JimmyJane,  a run for their money.  JimmyJane and Rianne S both are of equal price and aesthetics values.

love is fear and sex toys
BUY NOW: Rianne S Sex Toys

Rianne S Heart is absolutely gorgeous.

In fact, all of Rianne S sex toys are equally as good looking as each other.  Alongside Rianne S Moon this heart shaped vibrator takes the cake to a whole new level of ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’.

Rianne S Heart is one of the smallest handheld vibrator that I have seen.

Features of the Rianne S Heart.

  • It is fairly light and measures  5 cm x 5.5 cm.
  • A small heart that comes in three colours including French Rose, Deep Purple, and Coral Rose.
  • Golden ABS plastic trim around it.  I hate using the word plastic as it gives the impression this toy looks cheap, and it really doesn’t.
  • Main body of the heart is 100% body safe and made from high quality silicone.
  • Feels silky velvety smooth, slightly soft and is of high quality.
  • There is a touch of a drag but I like that.

It keeps you rolling it around in the palm of your hands feeling the pleasurable sensations going throughout it as it is very tactile.

love is fear sex toys
Rianne S Sex Toys

Presentation and Packaging

It comes in a beautiful box so that the Heart can definitely be given, as-is, to anyone as a gift.  Would make the person receiving it feel very loved as it is a well thought out gift idea.

It thinks of everything from the packaging to the “heartfelt” heart inside it.

Like all Rianne S products I have come to the conclusion that they all feel like the ultimate luxury.

They are kind of like getting that haircut you have always wanted or buying that piece of clothing that makes you feel sexy.

Unwrapping the Heart

Inside the packaging itself is the same colour as the Rianne S Heart inside. It is packaged as if it were like an expensive perfume. There is a ribbon printed on it and a raised mock stamp.

A ‘With love’ message written in italics with three kisses in the corner in gold.  Inside the heart is presented on a black base.  This hides the USB charger cord, an instruction booklet and a cool little Rianne business card.

It is perfect for long term storage and will look good on any bedside table.

Rianne S Heart is really easy to operate.

There is a hole in the silicone, to plug in the charger.  You get a full  2 hours use out of it when it has been charged up. One tiny button under the silicone that you press and hold for a couple of seconds.

Then press again to scroll through the settings. I also want to mention the little heart light that blinks on and off under the pink silicone while it is charging.

It is so cute and reminded me of ET.


10 settings.  1-3 constant and increasing.  4-8 different pulses.  9-10 a mix.

I love the pulsing settings of the Rianne S Heart.  They are really quite rumbly. and the shape and the silicone disperse the sensations all over the sex toy. Its heart shape means you can use it for pinpoint stimulation.

Or you can cup the dent in the heart around your clit.

It is the ultimate in cool discreet toys

Very reasonably priced and a perfect addition to any girls handbag.  If you do ever have to explain what it is… they will just want one too.

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