My Kinky Boyfriend Made Me Wear A Bondage Mask!

I’ve seen some kinky shit. I’ve been to my local sex store at Kogarah you know, and they have some wicked stuff. I’m also gen Y and have had been toddling around on the internet for decades now. I’ve always thought of myself as being kind of out there, open and intelligent. I even went to Sydney university. So when my boyfriend came up to me and said, i want you to wear a leather hood, I’m going to be straight up. I panicked! I fumbled through some half heated response, and we moved on. But there was a mark there. He’d come to me with something he was curious in, and I’d not necessarily rejected it, but I’d been dismissive of it. We had kind of thrown it at each other so on one hand it was understandable.

I spoke with him again, let him know that I’d be happy to give it a go but I’d like to do some research and reading on it first, give me some time and I’d get back to him. He agreed. I’ve been in the store when people have picked up the some of the bondage masks they have there and they laugh it off, and joke around. But it’s indicative of their fear and curiosity – can’t be scared of something if you mock it. I knew one of the guys that worked at the Kogarah store was into bondage and BDSM and i went in to speak to him.  We had a great conversation and he answered my questions patiently and in a way that didn’t belittle me. With the newly found knowledge in my head i could go off and research it.

What I discovered was interesting and I could summarize its entirety in two sentences:

1  ‘Masks are primarily for aesthetic purposes and the development of a mindset for a scene.’

This made more sense after the guy in Kogarah explained it to me. He used an analogy of a guy wearing a pink Tutu coming into a room with a whip compared to a guy in leather pants and a jacket smoking a cigarette and twirling a crop. The image is different, the ‘power dynamics’ of the room are completely different. One comes across as authoritative, whereas the other comes across as whimsical and absurd. That’s also what it means by a development of a mindset i guess, when someone walks in the room wearing a certain outfit, you instantly know your place and your role. It’s a fairly simple concept when you break it down.

2  ‘The secondary purpose of a mask is to create a confinement of the head, and potentially of the senses’.

Apparently there are heaps of different masks on the market, i didn’t know that. Some will cover your entire face, some only your ears, or your mouth, nose or eyes. When one of the senses is diminished, or blocked, the other senses try and pick up the slack so your body can make sense of its surroundings. Apparently its why people subconsciously prefer sex in the dark. Masks can apparently also restrict movement depending on the way they’re tied together and fit.

Blackout Latex Hood
Sex Toy: Fetish Fantasy Extreme Total Blackout Latex Hood
Armed with my new information I went to my partner and we sat down and talked – we spoke at length about the things that we would like to do, not like to do and where our limits were. After negotiating and some relief that we’d opened up to each other we went off to Kogarah to do our shopping. After looking through the masks that they had there – we ended up getting a mask called the ziggy. It has a detachable eye piece so you can choose to have the eyes covered or not and a wide zipper mouth. We opted for the wide one for two reasons, firstly so he could fit his dick in it, and secondly in case we decided to ever get a ball gag. I liked this one because it had a soft silky feel on the inside to it, and that I’d read that masks can get pretty hot. I thought this one would be slightly cooler, and so far its worked well. Whilst we were there we got some bondage restraint sets, which included some hand cuffs, a paddle and also a body wand which is a very powerful thing, that the guy recommended. It’s a start i guess. I said I’ve seen some kinky shit, that’s true. Now I’m a part of that kinky shit and don’t tell anyone, but I kind of like it.

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Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

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