How To Join a Free Fetish Community – Tips & Advice

So what exactly is a fetish community? And how do you uncover these sometimes “taboo” groups of people?

During the short time I have been a part of the Adult Lifestyle Centre, I have only ever had a couple of customers inquiring about fetish events, clubs and classes etc. One of our lovely colleagues, told me that she had quite a few inquiries about the fetish community. She was wondering where and how a person can begin entering the fetish community. I will answer her question now with the knowledge of my many years of experience.

Finding Your Fetish Communities – Start With The Internet

The best place to begin in the fetish community is on the Internet. The internet is a wonderful place to start. These days you can find out just about anything you like once you click in the right keywords. You need to use a search engine like google if your wanting to explore the fetish scene, the correct word to type in is “BDSM” and click search.

When the search engine returns your results, you will find there are a lot of different resources you can learn from including web pages, blogs and even youtube videos. The best thing to do to submerse yourself in the fetish lifestyle is to start reading information about BDSM and fetishes. Submersing yourself in the information will help you gain the understanding of the mentality behind it all. There is a lot of reading that you need to do, to learn all about it!

Once you have read and understood the basics, you can start to consider joining an online fetish community named It is important to mention Fetlife is not a dating site. There are some people in the Fetlife community who treat it like a dating site only to discover that it is not one and get no where with it. Fetlife is only for those who take this lifestyle seriously. If you’re just curious about BDSM or fetish lifestyle or just wanting to “pick up” this website is not for you. You will need to go to dating websites like OkCupid, RSVP or eharmony.

Fetish Community : Fetlife Community Badge
Fetish Community : Fetlife Community Badge

Fetlife : Leading Online Fetish Community

Fetlife is a website for BDSM kinksters to share their journeys and experiences through their online profiles. The community shares their personal photos, videos (available to members only), poetry, writings and erotica. On Fetlife you will find Dominants, Submissives, Masters, Slaves, Daddy’s, Babygirls, Kinksters and many more.

When you first join Fetlife, I would recommend to just sit back and interact with people on there. They are generally quite happy to chat. You can exchange opinions, ideas and they will do their best to answer any questions you may have. You can talk about almost any topic you can think of including sex toys, sex positions, bondage, fetish and BDSM.

After you learn about the Fetlife community your next step is to meet people in the scene. You can meet people through a munch-up even which is a gathering for drinks and nibblies. This is the best way to start. There is a drop down menu which list’s the different events, gatherings and classes coming up. Some events are by private invitation only and are not on the events list. The best way to start with the events is by attending the “Hellfire” club. It is a lighter atmosphere with great energy!  The Hellfire Club is a good place to get into the swing of things without it being too overwhelming for a beginner.

BDSM – A Type Of Fetish Lifestyle

Since BDSM is a type of lifestyle, it is a way of life and there are rules each person who is in it needs to follow. The same applies to Fetlife events, following rules is a MUST! If rules are being violated, you will be kicked out of the club immediately no matter who you know!

Fetlife following provides safety tips which are everything to the community and respect is a huge factor too! So please don’t go in drugged or drunk or thinking that the rules don’t apply to you. It will get you nowhere.

Floggings take place throughout the night in different parts of the club. There is also a dance floor and a show which takes place at some point during the evening. There is a dress code. The dress code is fetish, goth or kinky. You generally have to wear black. If you take no effort with the rules, you get no entry to the event. The people are very friendly and welcoming.  Once you start meeting people, you will find that most of them will be quite happy to help you along on your journey. Everything else will fall into place on its own. Remember….be sensible and don’t judge. Enjoy!!

Meeting people seperately requires a lot more work and should be done with caution. You can meet people preferably at a munch or a public place. It’s also a good idea to let someone know where you will be meeting the person, so someone knows where you are at life times. This person is called a “safe person”. Remember….Safe, Sane and Consensual!!

Secrets of the Foot Fetish

What is A Sexual Fetish?

Sexual fetishes have frequently been stigmatised, misunderstood, or ignored. However, they constitute an essential aspect of human sexuality. This article aims to elucidate the concept of a fetish, its various types, why people have them, and the difference between fetishes and kinks.

1. Defining a Fetish

A sexual fetish, in its simplest form, refers to a sexual desire or gratification associated with an otherwise non-sexual object, material, or body part1. This could involve a specific physical attribute, clothing item, or even a particular behaviour.

1.1 Fetishism in Popular Culture

Popular culture, most notably through television shows and films, has often portrayed fetishism in a light-hearted or humorous manner. This has played a significant role in normalising and demystifying it to some extent. However, it is essential to understand that fetishes are a significant part of many people’s sexual identities and experiences.

2. Various Types of Fetishes

Fetishes can be broadly categorised into two types: object fetishes and body-part fetishes.

2.1 Object Fetishes

Object fetishes typically pertain to a specific item or material. This can range from clothing such as skirts, stockings, or underwear, to more specific items like medical objects, watches, or diapers.

2.2 Body-Part Fetishes

Body-part fetishes, on the other hand, are related to a specific part of the body or a physical attribute. They can include attributes such as height or weight, or specific body parts like feet or hair.

3. The Root of Fetishes

The reasons behind why people have fetishes are not entirely understood. Some theories propose that fetishes develop from early positive sexual experiences associated with a particular object or body part.

3.1 Pavlovian Response Theory

One hypothesis postulates that fetishes are formed due to a Pavlovian response. This theory suggests that if a person has a positive sexual experience involving a specific object or body part, they may form a fetish for it.

3.2 Individual Tastes and Psychological Associations

Another theory proposes that individual tastes and psychological associations play a significant role in the development of fetishes.

4. The Line Between Healthy Fetishes and Fetishistic Disorders

While fetishes can be a healthy and enjoyable part of an individual’s sexuality, it’s crucial to distinguish between safe fantasies and fetishistic disorders. A fetishistic disorder occurs when the fetish causes significant distress, impairs functioning, or involves non-consenting individuals.

5. Fetishes Vs. Kinks: Clarifying the Difference

While often used interchangeably, the terms “fetish” and “kink” signify distinct concepts. A fetish is a specific sexual desire linked to an inanimate object or non-sexual body part. In contrast, a kink represents a broader category of sexual activities that fall outside the realm of “traditional” sex.

5.1 Common Kinks

Kinks can include a wide range of sexual interests and activities, such as erotic role play, the use of sex toys, BDSM, exhibitionism, spanking, hair pulling, and voyeurism.

6. Normalizing Fetishes

Having a fetish is normal and can be a healthy part of a person’s sexual identity. It can add variety and excitement to sexual experiences, as long as it is enjoyed consensually and does not harm either party.

6.1 Seeking Help

If a fetish causes distress or interferes with one’s quality of life, it is recommended to discuss it with a healthcare provider or a sex therapist.

A Fetish Community Will Foster Support For Your Desires

Understanding and accepting one’s sexual fetishes can lead to a more fulfilling sexual life. While it’s essential to ensure that these desires do not harm oneself or others, having a fetish can indeed be a normal and healthy part of human sexuality.

Embracing your desires within a fetish community not only brings validation but also fosters a profound sense of belonging and support. As we’ve explored, these communities offer a safe space where curiosity is encouraged, boundaries are respected, and genuine connections are made. By engaging with like-minded individuals, you gain the opportunity to explore your desires freely, without judgment, and with the encouragement of those who understand.

Remember, your unique desires contribute to the rich tapestry of the fetish world, and in finding a community that supports you, you’re not just exploring your own passions—you’re also part of a larger movement towards acceptance and diversity in expression. So, step into this embracing world with an open heart and mind, and let the journey of self-discovery and communal support enrich your life in ways you’ve never imagined.

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