4 Toxic Ways Facebook Is Hurting Your Love Life

Admit it, we all have that one friend who just splashed their relationship all over Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Using social media to air all of their ‘dirty laundry’ or, even worse, we may be the ones spamming our friends with posts about our spouse.

I’m not old-fashioned, or anti-social media. In fact, I spend much of my free time at home just scrolling through my Insta and FB feeds for entertainment. But unlike some other people, I feel as though there are some things that shouldn’t be splashed on the internet for the whole world to see.

Facebook arguments
Image: Facebook relationships

Answer me this, if you’re a serial Facebook spammer… how would you feel if your significant other called all of their friends and your friends to tell them that you ‘didn’t take the garbage out’ or that you were ‘useless at everything’? Unless you’re a narcissist, you have to agree that it would hurt, even just a little bit. ‘It’s just harmless venting. It’s not that bad’ – Yes it is and here’s why:

It blocks or breaks down communication in a relationship

It has the other person watching everything that they say just in case it ends up splashed all over social media. People aren’t stupid (…well, the majority anyway) we all know that passive aggressive post about all the beer in the fridge being drunk and not replaced or the house is a mess, is about your SO. Come on!

It makes everyone feel super uncomfortable knowing things that happen behind closed doors

Especially if they have to spend time with your spouse or both of you. Call or message your bestie and have a vent, because the rest of us don’t need to see it.

Lasting relationship quote
Image: Relationship sharing quote

It also puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship

The constant sickly ‘kissy kissy boo boo’ and ‘Bae is so good to me, we’re so in love’ posts are just as bad. **News flash** These inevitably turn in to the above type of posts when the honeymoon period is over and you take off those rose-coloured glasses. It’s all flash, no substance.

I love to see photos of happy couples celebrating relationship milestones and read the affirming messages that go along with those pics. But everyone over the age of 16 will probably agree with me when I say – Nobody cares that your boyfriend/girlfriend just sent you a heart emoji text message.

It feeds mental health issues and insecurities

When you go from every post being about how much you’re in love in those first few months, to settling in to a long-term relationship where you have to negotiate the day to day stuff, then you might start to feel insecure about your relationship. Especially if you suffer from a mental health issue like anxiety or depression and have built a reliance on that continual public affirmation.

That constant craving for the ‘honeymoon period’ public affirmation may mean that you develop the inability to move past that point in a relationship. Keeping you in that perpetual cycle of love and heartbreak.

Relationship posts on Facebook
Image: Facebook relationship wall post

If you’re an attention seeking narcissist then, by all means, keep going with your public showboating. But if you’re normal human being, keep your relationship private. It’s not about how many likes you get from friends and family or how ‘open’ you are about your relationship on social media. Actions speak louder than words. A relationship (as well as all of its issues) is based on open communication and trust.

So, use social media wisely. Think before you post.

Author: Mia is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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