Consent, Respect and Oversharing!

I know it’s an exciting time coming into an adult shop and finally being able to open up and talk about the thing we all love to do but don’t want to talk about…. Sex. I understand that I may overshare a little but it’s my job to overshare so that you know exactly what it is you’re spending your hard earn money on. Now, when I say overshare I don’t mean you telling me the things that you are into, because I asked you these questions, therefore, I am consenting to hear whatever the answer may be.

What I’m talking about are the situations like where you’ve asked for my opinion on what butt plug you should get your wife and as I’m showing you, you think it’s time to tell me all the stories about your wife’s past and how well you make her orgasm now….*coughs awkwardly*

  1. Do you think your wife would be happy that you’re sharing these stories with me?
  2. Did I ask for this story?
  3. Even if you were telling me stories about your own sexual past, did you ask me if I was ok with listening to them first?

The funny thing is if you had asked if I was ok with listening to a story, I most probably would have been intrigued and ask you to go on but instead you have thrown me off and made me feel super uncomfortable.

Just going to leave this definition here because it seems like a lot of people forget it.

consent
kənˈsɛnt/
noun
  1. 1.
    permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.

It isn’t even just consent, it’s common decency.
Just because I work in an adult shop doesn’t mean I want to listen to the ins and outs of your sex life. I get paid just like any normal retail worker…. NOT A SEX WORKER OR THERAPIST! No, I am not here to make you feel better about the things you choose to do in the bedroom and I definitely don’t want to know how many times you made your fuck buddy cum last night…..

 

I absolutely love being able to have conversations with customers that are comfortable enough to open up about what they are into so that I am able to help choose the best products for them. In return, if I can relate with what they need and if I have used a product in that department I will open up and recommend a toy that I personally own and have enjoyed. 

Now, with these customers, I have asked a series of questions that I have consented to listen to the answer to and before I tell them any of my recommendations I will ask if I can do so beforehand.

These are my favorite kinds of customer interactions! I could spend hours going on about my beloved toy collection and recommending toys to the groups of customers that come in looking for a good quality toy and that are consenting for me to do so.

What I am not comfortable with is the same male customer coming into the store constantly, conveniently asking for all my recommendations on great female toys. Him asking if I have ever used them myself and what my experience was like so that he can pick a toy for his mysterious wife that has never ever come into the store with him and him constantly never purchasing anything!! Do you think I don’t see what you are doing? I am not here for a free boner sir and you are just taking advantage of my kindness! I also don’t appreciate 70-year-old men asking me to put their new cock plugs in for them while I am down here on my knees trying to reach and grab what you have chosen from the back of the damn cabinet…. SERIOUSLY???? I’d rather just lay and on the floor and die slowly now but instead, I will laugh uncomfortably, stay silent until you leave the store and pray that I’ll never have to be the one to serve you again. This situation happened to me when I was only weeks into working in an adult shop, if that happened to me now I’d tell him his gross, disrespectful and needs an attitude change before he walks into the store again. I’ve grown some serious balls over the past few years from dealing with these creeps and I am not afraid anymore to tell you if I think you’re acting like a disrespectful pig. I want you to know that you can’t just walk into somebody else’s space and do whatever you want for your own personal enjoyment, that’s not how life works and I refuse to allow you to walk out thinking otherwise.

We have a lot of customers that appreciate and thank me and the other staff members. They tell us how much they appreciate having someone serving them that makes them feel comfortable, rather than your stereotypical adult shops with a creepy person staring at you from behind the counter. I’ve even had plenty of crappy experiences in dodgy adult shops myself. So, instead of taking advantage of the kind people willing to open up and help you, maybe appreciate and respect them like you would expect for yourself if you were in their shoes.

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