VIP Interview With Intimalogist Dr. Kat Smith

Intmaologist Dr Kat Smith

Dr. Kat Smith is Doctor of Human Sexuality (Intimalogist™ – Certified Intimacy Expert) and certified by the American College of Sexologists. An Intimalogist specialises in helping people connect with deeper levels of intimacy in their personal and sexual lifestyles by re-educating how they are able love and be loved. Dr. Kat Smith helps you look into the roadblocks and experiences that are preventing you from moving forward with your life and specialises in the area of sexual trauma recovery.

Through Dr. Kat Smiths well known appearances on Ted X, Good Morning America, Fox News and The 33, she has been able to become a voice for people who have experienced molestation, sexual assault and abuse. This is extremely important to spread awareness and understanding on a topic which can be incredibly difficult to talk about. Dr. Kat Smith had said

“Through my own traumatic history of molestation and rape, I know first hand what you are feeling, thinking and what may be blocking you from receiving and giving love at its fullest potential. Learning to seize your own pleasure and please your love has to be free of guilt, fear and past hurts. Letting go of the beliefs and experiences that stifle your sexual expression and intimacy is key in laying the foundation for your relationship.

By nurturing physical health, emotional intimacy and spiritual growth, I feel we can remove the confusion and discover the saboteurs that often times holds us back. By doing so we open up to cultivate a more holistic and healthy view of sexuality and love”.

She runs seminars, counselling, workshops, media events, individual sessions and couples sessions. The sessions can be run online, on the phone or in person.

Dr Kat Smith America's Intimacy Expert
Image: Dr Kat Smith Banner

Tell me about yourself

I have been helping couples repair relationships through intimacy re-education for over a decade. I earned a doctorate in Human Sexuality, I am a practicing Intimalogist™ (Certified Intimacy Expert), and a published authority on sexuality and relationships.

I am also an international expert who co-hosted two syndicated radio shows on ABC Radio Networks, Inc. and have been a guest expert on GMA, Huff Post Live, Good Morning Texas, WFAA Daybreak, KDFW Fox4, KDAF, CW33, and Ted Talks.

What is Intimalogy?

No one was really using this term and most people usually think of Entomology which is the study of bugs. But I’m not into the creepy crawlers even though I can bug the hell out of people.

Intimalogy as I explain it is the study of intimacy and all its intricacies as the foundation of our relationships. I refer to myself as an Intimalogist™ to draw more attention to intimacy as opposed to sex because I feel intimacy is so much more than just sexual intercourse.

What inspired you to become an Intimalogist?

I am a survivor of molestation and rape and always believed that because I came through my experiences with the ability to communicate and articulate how it feels to be violated and betrayed that I should use it to help others. I began with my radio show and it has grown from there. Personally, I have gone on to develop loving, caring healthy and satisfying relationships and I can help others do the same.

How does intimacy impact a person’s sexual lifestyle?

First there is the need to re-educate that intimacy and sex are not the same thing and there is much confusion surrounding the two. Intimacy, as I describe in my book the ABCs of Intimacy, is the nurturing, affection, respect, support, trust, communication, and more and yes sex is a component, but it lasts on average 7 minutes (okay, not including the fore and after play). I ask what are you doing with the rest of your time to truly connect with the one you love?

Sex is the beautiful physical expression of the lust, desire, passion or attraction we feel for another. Intimacy enhances and enriches the sexual experience by adding the emotional, mental and even spiritual aspects. We all can have sex with no attachments and that makes it strictly physical, but when you want something more or feel that something is missing, its intimacy. That connectedness.

What inspires you?

I am touched by so many people, their work or life examples. If I had to give one it would be Oprah because she seems to walk the path of survivor and inspire others to growth and enlightenment.

I am self-inspired and I try to live my life by this quote by C Rearie –

“When passion and skill come together you create a masterpiece.”

I want to inspire and teach people the skills to create masterpieces in their intimate lives.

Why does trauma have such a huge impact on a person’s sexuality, relationship and lifestyle?

Because it is one of the life experiences that create beliefs. It, along with religion, culture, race, society, the media, gender and more influence what I call our Love Perspective™ – how we view love, sex and romance. We have to sift through all our beliefs and habits to find our truth and in many cases grieve after trauma, because we lose a lot about the person we were before. For each individual that happens over time and for many it can take decades.

Trauma changes our brains and even our senses. We see this evident in PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Trauma affects how we feel about ourselves, others how we interact and if we feel worthy of love. We feel less lovable or less love ABLED – disabling love and intimacy in our lives. That is until we are given the tools to heal and rebuild each facet of our being so that we are once again radiant.

How do people learn how to let go of the experiences that hold them back?

They begin by examining the experiences that impact our lives for truth. Because of our Love Perspective™ we see things a certain way and it maybe due to how our parents taught us to believe.

We try to mask or cover up our garbage, but somehow the stench reminds us that we need to deal with it and get rid of it for good. That is what happened to me. I tried to stuff my pain down so far that it would go away, but it kept showing up in my behaviors until I finally dealt with me.

The late Lena Horne once said –

“Its not the load that breaks us down, it how you carry it.”

One of the reasons I feel so fulfilled about my work is that I can help people lift that burden and leave it for their own good.

What does therapy involve?

Therapy is individualized. I let the client dictate how we will work together. It may involve repeat exposure for trauma or learning communication skills or what is desired for sexual satisfaction for couples having some challenges. I have a lengthy intake questionnaire that I have each client fill out so that I can assess prior to our session and then we determine their needs from there. All of this happens in a safe and comfortable environment. It is imperative that they feel at ease and confident that I can help them with such intimate concerns.

What services do you offer?

Private sessions for individuals and couples, In Home Therapy, family group therapy in the form of a Love Infusion™ and An Evening with Dr Kat which is an entertaining appearance at the customer’s event such as a bridal shower, slumber party or wine tasting. I also have an online school – School of Intimate Knowledge™ (@IntimateKnow) for classes on an array of topics.

What is the 30 Day Power Challenge?

Since my goal is to re-educate people about intimacy, the 30 Day Power Challenge helps you tone and build your intimacy muscles. It begins with 30 days of tips and information to help you create deep intimacy and reconnect romantically. It’s my gift to anyone who joins my list by becoming one of my IntiMates™ – a member of my exclusive list who receive information and freebies that I don’t share anywhere else. If after the 30 days, you want to unsubscribe you certainly can do so.

Intimacy Challenge
Buy Now | Sex Toys For Couples

Are there any questions of information you would like to add to the article?

Use my website DrKatSmith.com as a source for information. Feel free to read my blog posts and listen to Intimate Pleasures Podcast on Wednesdays 12 noon CST. I share valuable insight along with guests to help you navigate emotional waters and the journey to true intimacy.

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

VIP Interview With Lisa Clampitt Matchmaker, Author & Relationship Expert

Expert Matchmaker Lisa Clampitt

Lisa Clampitt is an industry leader in the field of matchmaking and has founded Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking as well as the Matchmaking Institute offering high quality services to singles and people who are interested in starting a career in matchmaking. Since 1991 she has dedicated her life to learning everything that is needed to know about relationships, dating and sexuality so that she was able to become one of the best.

Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking offers a variety of services which helps men and women find real love in New York. The services are offered by a range of experts in the field of romance and relationships which will help you connect with a special someone within your area. Qualified candidates are able to have a complimentary consultation. Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking also offers coaching services, one of the main skills they teach is the SWOT Analysis which helps you understand what you want in your relationships. It will help you to understand who you are and the type of people you would like to attract.

The Matchmaking Institute is one of the only accredited schools in the state, licensed by the New York Department of Education. They have worldwide conferences, live training programs, and educational literature. When you become accredited you will be able to have a career on your own schedule and in the comfort of your own home or company so you are able to best support your clients,.

This is a VIP Interview With Lisa Clampitt The Founder & President Of Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking.

Matchmaking Lisa Clampitt Banner
Image: Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking

Tell me about yourself

Lisa Clampitt, LMSW, is the founder and president of Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking (formally VIP Life), the founder and president of the Matchmaking Institute, a professional matchmaker and relationship expert for over 20 years, a book author and a New York State Licensed Master of Social Worker since 1991. I was educated at New York University, receiving a BA in Dramatic Literature, and received my graduate degree, a Masters in Social Work, from the University of Michigan.

In 2001 I created VIP Life, Now Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking; a high end personalized matchmaking service creating a bridge into a social network that allows my clients to feel as if “they have a best friend”, to introduce them to other amazing singles.

I founded the Matchmaking Institute in 2003 to set a code of ethics and strict quality standards in the matchmaking industry. It is the first institute offering a Certification in Matchmaking. We offer a professional matchmakers network, matchmaking workshops, yearly world-wide professional conferences providing matchmakers with a group of peers & support and is the only State Licensed matchmaking school in the world.

I have been so lucky to have become a top matchmaking and relationship expert and have had extensive National and international press coverage including ABC’s 20/20, the O’Reilly Factor, Time Magazine, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Forbes.com, Worth Magazine, Crane’s New York, the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, Reuters and Today in New York among many other media outlets.

I am also the author of two books on matchmaking published in September 2007, Make Me a Match: The 21st Century Guide to Finding and Using a Matchmaker and Matchmaking From Fun to Profit: A Complete Guide to Turning Your Matchmaking Skills into a New Business.

What inspired you to become a matchmaker and create the Matchmaking Institute?

After spending many years as a social worker, I noticed a common thread. There is nothing more powerful than helping people find love. For me, if you have love, you have everything. But finding love can be a struggle – so much so that we put it off until it feels too late.

It became my mission to help people create long-term compatibility by fostering real connections. And when creating that connection, time is our most precious commodity. And the more you have to offer, the more difficult it is to meet that special someone.

That’s why I bring my social work skills to the table so I can honestly listen to you – truly understanding your relationship goals, values, and personality – and match you with someone of equal quality and style.

What inspires you?

The first is a quote from my dad from all his work giving the under privileged a voice in the world through media

“Responsibility Transforms”

And another also from the work my dad did, one of the teens that was interview said

“I am afraid to tell you who I am, because if you don’t like me, I am the only me I got”.

What is it like being a matchmaker?

Being a matchmaker is exciting, inspiring and I feel like I am changing the world by helping people find the tools they need to find and keep a healthy relationship. It has changed my life from and intense and regimented social work career to one where I make my own hours, make great money, meet amazing people and learn and grow personally every single day. Instead of dreading Mondays I can’t wait for Monday to come so I can get to work!

How do you go about picking people who will match up together?

By combining insight on the psychology of relationships along with my own theory on the ethics of matchmaking, you’ll realize it’s about more than attraction and chemistry, it’s about something much more lasting. So I look at a person’s history, both their success as well as obstacles. I see what needs to be tweaked and what can stay in terms of what they want; which of their must haves is healthy and which need to go. Then I find the best possible choice in terms of healthy long term compatibility.

Are you more likely to find that opposites attract or people with similar personality traits?

I think complimentary traits are helpful. For example, my husband is a brilliant scientist and I, by trade, am a social worker. I am high empathy and EQ and he is cerebral and low EQ. So we balance each other out in a wonderful way. We inspire and respect each other’s strength and learn from each other.

What’s involved in becoming a certified Matchmaker?

If someone is serious about becoming a matchmaker and changing their life in so many amazing ways, the key is education. So we have a 12 week online course that is an intensive training on everything from the history of matchmaking, to starting a business, how to find clients, how to match them and how to coach them for success. Students are in a 24/7 support online forum during and after the course for additional support. After the completion, you submit a business plan for review. If accepted, you get your certification.  It’s a pretty thorough course with material from dozens of top matchmakers and coaches around the world so someone get all the key info for success as well as learning what to avoid in terms of mistakes that have ended business in the past.

What certifications does the Matchmaking Institute offer?

We offer one main certification for people who want to enter the business of matchmaking or are already matchmaking but would love to gain key tools to make their business more successful. We also have a yearly Global conference for Love Professionals every April in NYC. This a a conference not to be missed if you are excited to learn more about the psychology and business of love.

What are your favorite success stories?

I have many amazing success stories but I think my favorite is when someone comes to me and they are burned out from dating, or newly divorced and have no clue about the world of dating today. Then inspiriting them and supporting them through the process of finding the right person to create the beginning of the rest of their lives. That is always Thrilling.

Using the right services for you will help you to stay away from the anxiety of finding a date online through dating apps like tinder and grindr. If you would like to find out more information to help you on your dating adventure you can read a how to guide on dating and kissing.Save

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

VIP Interview With Veronica Farmer Chief Experience Officer Of Zumio Inc

Banner For Zumio

Zumio is a revolutionary clitoral stimulator which is made with SpiroTIP™ a patented technology which literary moves in perfect circular motion, it naturally replicates the movements of a fingertip. Zumio is made with technology which does not vibrate. It was made with the idea in mind that when women take their time to build a gradual orgasm with the use of a vibrator, the vibrator can cause sensory overload where there is too much stimulation. Sensory overload makes an orgasm difficult to build up and difficult to control. Zumio combat this with the use of pinpoint stimulation which can be perfectly controlled by the handle, women are able to build quick and climatic orgasms with less time and amazing results.

As soon as Zumio was released to the public, it hit the ground running and immediately won an Adultex Award in 2017 for the “Best New Product” which says a lot since they were up against some of the biggest competitors in the adult lifestyle industry!

 

Zumio Clitoral Stimulator
Sex Toy: Zumio

Tell me about yourselves?

While Zumio may be a new company and brand in the market, our team have extensive experience in design, engineering and commercializing of a wide range of products, many of them world’s first and patented. Zumio is just the first of many anticipated new products focused on the adult pleasure industry.

What are your favourite quotes that inspire you?

Henry Ford once stated,

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

Zumio accepted the challenge to develop an innovative product that would break the rules and accepted norms within a mature industry. The desire to “break the code” in design and engineering of new products is the battle cry for Zumio as proving the impossible to be possible is a driving force of the company. Zumio’s focus is first and foremost on the “why” of a product. Backed by the confidence and experience necessary to effectively tackle the “how”, Zumio knows there is always a way.

What inspired the creation of the Zumio?

A mother is the mother of invention! The idea for Zumio was born out of frustration when a very busy single mother with several young children and limited spare time wanted a way to achieve orgasm quickly and quietly. The toys she tried—mostly designed by men—used irritating vibration, didn’t allow her to effectively control the sensation, and were too big to pinpoint specific sensory areas. In the absence of an effective toy, she was relegated to using her fingertip for manual masturbation. She reached out to Zumio to see if there was some way to take the tried and true circular fingertip motion to a new level. Female designers at Zumio eagerly accepted the challenge!

How would you describe the Zumio feels like on a clitoris?

The most common description is “different”! There is no other singular word that applies. Every woman’s clitoris and clitoral nerve response is unique. Some find it “deep”, “intense”, “totally satisfying”, “effective”, “rapid”, others describe it as “highly targeted” and “precise”. Some long-time customers have used all these terms and more as their daily moods, cycles and sensitivities fluctuate and this in turn impacts their Zumio experience on any given day. No one describes it as boring, bland or similar.

What do you love most about the Zumio?

Zumio intelligently and precisely stimulates the clitoral nerve without the use of unnecessary power, annoying vibration, or distracting apps and features. Zumio gives the user complete control over a highly effective and versatile product that empowers them to precisely apply stimulation where and how they need it for the best personal experience.

Zumio Packaging And Contents
Image: What’s Included With A Zumio

What was involved in the design process? What was it like to invent the Zumio?

The invention of Zumio did not happen overnight, but rather was a rigorous iterative process, interlaced with exciting discoveries, numerous challenges, and let’s face it, LOTS of fun! Starting from the initial, technology-oriented patent, our design team went through numerous concepts, sketches, renderings and prototypes to ensure that the Zumio product did not just perform technically, but that it would also deliver an overall, wonderful experience! This design goal started with a quality packaging and unboxing experience and continued through to delivering the big “O” our customers were excitedly seeking! Engineers, industrial designers, UI and electronics experts worked together on the project, but most importantly, end users were always involved in the design process and decision making. Having enthusiastic, thorough user feedback was key to the design success. We were never short of willing testers!

What were the other prototypes of the Zumio like?

Zumio started out quite differently in shape and size from our final product. Vibrators have always just spun a weight on a motor shaft and the motion shakes everything. Zumio wanted a larger, sweeping and more precise circular motion like a fingertip. We initially tried a tennis ball shaped housing with soft curves to hold and control a vibrating plastic finger. We discovered during testing that you need to hold the product like an artist’s brush as this points your hand and fingers in the right direction and keeps your arm in a natural relaxed position. The tip design came next with substantial engineering iterations on length, weight and size. Eventually we developed a tip that would allow us to create motion in a wide circular path with the size, power and intensity we needed but without the need for a huge motor or battery. Numerous refinements, extensive testing and a color study thrown in, and we ended up with our first product, Zumio!

If the Zumio feels too pleasurable at first, how would you soften the pleasure?

We always recommend to our customers that they ease into using Zumio. Start with the lowest speed setting, pressing slightly harder to slow down the tip and reduce intensity, and apply in surrounding areas first before focusing on the clitoris itself. While Zumio is less powerful overall than most vibrators, the concentration of energy at the small tip can make it seem more intense. There is a wide range of clitoral sensitivity and Zumio’s mechanism of action is so fundamentally different than century-old vibration technology, users should experiment with various proximities, pressure and speed until they learn to effectively locate their “sweet spot”. Some users can manage direct clitoral glans contact, others may rest the tip and stylus alongside the clitoral hood using the hood as an “insulator”. Panties or other clothing can offer the same kind of dampening effect for those who may be more sensitive. While lubes are not necessary due to the small tip size and smooth finish, a small amount of lube will also enable a more pleasurable experience. Like anything new, practice makes perfect!

In order to orgasm in under a minute, whilst using the Zumio do you recommend other additional stimulation? If so, what?

The “under a minute” goal varies in importance and even in possibility from one person to the next. Zumio is quite capable of delivering a rapid orgasm and can do it solo. However, it’s impossible to apply the same rules to everyone as regardless of the sex toy in question, some women may need a longer warmup period to build the excitement and may find immediate use of Zumio or any other toy to be premature and even a mood-killer. Whatever puts you in the mood is always a welcome companion to using Zumio!

Can you use the Zumio comfortably on the clitoris during penetrative sex?

As a general statement, yes. Zumio was designed to be held on the clitoral region during penetrative sex and our test groups and studies showed that Zumio was used equally well with a partner as it was solo. There are physical considerations as well as various positions that can affect whether this is practical, however, solo and partner use was always the intent of the design.

What are your most memorable moments from working at Zumio?

Zumio was recently awarded the “Best New Product” award at Adultex 2017 and awards are, of course, very gratifying. However, when we first started getting incredibly positive feedback from test groups prior to bringing Zumio to the market, and then subsequently getting the first few blogs and reviews raving about Zumio, now THAT was a real highlight! We love our product, naturally, but when customers tell us they love it too, that’s when you know you’re doing something meaningful!

Zumio Is An Award Winning Product
Buy Now | Zumio Sex Toy Shop

Can the Zumio stimulate other erogenous zones?

While we focused the design exclusively on clitoral stimulation, we have had numerous customers tell us they have used it quite pleasurably on their penis (glans, frenulum) as well as nipples. We don’t specifically recommend or discourage use on other erogenous zones. If it feels good and is pleasing why not? The only thing we specifically recommend against is internal use. This was never the intent of Zumio nor has any testing been conducted so we therefore maintain Zumio is for external use only.

About Zumio™ Inc.

Zumio transforms women’s desires and ideas into innovative products and experiences. Our flagship clitoral stimulation product, Zumio, was conceived, designed and perfected by women. The unique, patented SpiroTIP™ motion was inspired by the natural movement women have used to pleasure themselves throughout the ages. Zumio can deliver a fast, intense orgasm, multiple orgasms, or hours of delicious exploration for a unique experience each time. Zumio was created by the design and engineering team that helped develop numerous innovative, market leading products for the adult and sexual health and wellness industry. For more information, please visit www.myzumio.com

Zumio is now available in 40 countries from a growing list of distributors and retailers in Europe, Australia, New Zealand, USA, Canada and China. Zumio is also available in all good adult stores online.

If you would like to know more information, follow these steps to have multiple orgasms with your clitoral stimulator today!Save

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

VIP Interview With Janet W. Hardy Writer, Illustrator, Sex Educator & Editorial Director Of Greenery Press

Janet W. Hardy Sex Educator, Illustrator, Publisher And Author

Janet W. Hardy is well known for being a force within the sexual lifestyle industry. She has published The Ethical Slut which has sold over 200,000 copies worldwide. Janet is also the editorial director of Greenery Press a book publisher which was established in 2002, her company has published well over 100 books. Greenery Press specialise in the publication of non-fiction sexuality, BDSM, fetish and kinks books.

Janet is a passionate sex educator and has traveled to speak at a multitude of classes, workshops, discussions and demonstrations. She has also stared in documentaries including Beyond Vanilla, Vice and Consent, Slut and BDSM: It’s Not What You Think and TV shows including SexTV and The Dr. Susan Block Show. This is a VIP Interview With Janet W. Hardy Writer, Illustrator, Sex Educator & Editorial Director Of Greenery Press.

Tell me about yourself

I am a writer, illustrator and sex educator. I also serve as the editorial director of Greenery Press, a small publishing company that I founded back in 1992, specializing in alternative sexualities.

What is it like being a book publisher, author and a documentary film star within the sexual lifestyle industry?

In some ways it’s a bit schizophrenic. Although I write and publish about outrageous sexuality, I am a physically rather reserved person, not a big toucher or hugger. While I certainly spent a lot of years as an active participant at play parties and dungeon parties, I no longer have much interest in that kind of play (although I still do attend such events on occasion). I call myself a “sadomasochist emeritus.”

And yet, I still have knowledge and wisdom to impart, and I still take great joy in passing along what I know so that others can have fun with it.

What inspired you to create a publishing company that specialises in BDSM, fetish and kink books?

Desperation! I had just been fired from a job in my previous career as an advertising copywriter (apparently because they knew a bit too much about my “other life” from listening in on my personal phone calls). My then-partner, Jay Wiseman, had a manuscript he’d been working on for years – which is now SM 101: A Realistic Introduction. And I had a long article about female domination for beginners, which I’d written in hopes of magazine publication, and which would later be expanded into what is now The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners. We hustled them both into print (they were at that time quick-printed and spiral-bound) because we weren’t sure where our next meal was coming from. And from that rather shaky beginning grew what is now Greenery Press. I never intended to become an alt-sex publisher – it just happened!

What do you love most about your work?

The letters I get from people who have been helped by my work. So many people think they’re the only ones who want whatever they want, whether it’s kink or poly or fetish or whatever – and then they read a Greenery Press book and learn that not only are they the only ones, but there are enough others that someone wrote a book about them/us – and often they sit down to write a letter or email letting us know how profoundly they were helped by our work.

Writing is a solitary profession, so hearing back from readers is enormously gratifying.

What do you look for in a good fiction and non-fiction book?

I don’t publish fiction. I tried it for a while back in the late 1990s and it turned out I suck at it – I just don’t have a good sense of what makes a good fiction book or how it finds a market.

As far as nonfiction goes, I’m interested only in those that teach a skill or approach (which is not to say I don’t personally love a good memoir or biography or whatever; but I’ve learned through the years that what I know how to publish is how-to, so I’m sticking to that). I look for a book that is knowledgeable, responsible, utterly clear, and with a strong authorial voice. A sense of humor doesn’t hurt either – many people are threatened by alternative sexuality and relationships, and humor helps pull the fangs on a scary topic.

What are your best sellers?

SM 101 is still at the top of our list, with The Mistress Manual and Jay Wiseman’s Erotic Bondage Handbook following closely.

Sex, BDSM And Fetish Book Covers
Buy Now | BDSM Store With Spankers And Ticklers

The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book are perpetual top sellers as well.

Sex Education Books From Greenery Publishing
Image: The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book

The Ethical Slut, which was originally published by Greenery in 1997, is now published by Ten Speed Press, a division of Random House, where it continues to sell extraordinarily well.

Sex Education Book From Greenery Publishing
Image: The Ethical Slut

What are your favourite memories?

My best memories tend to end up as fodder for memoir, so I’m attaching an excerpt of a particularly lovely scene for you. Excerpt from Impervious: Chronicles of a (Semi-)Retired Deviant, © 2017 Janet W. Hardy:

“Something kind of fun going on tonight, my friend says. I think you’ll enjoy it. You in?

I don’t know very many people in the city where this conference is being held, but I trust her to know my tastes and limits. Sure, I shrug.

As it turns out, the “kind of fun” thing is a group effort to enable a tall, heavy-boned husband to fist his tiny blond wife for the first time. He is the only man in a roomful of half a dozen women. All except the wife begin the female version of dick-measuring: each of us holds our hand up next to each of the other women’s, and then we arrange ourselves in order, from the smallest hand to mine, the largest.

The wife arranges herself comfortably on the hotel bed, legs splayed wide. As the first, smallest woman begins to stimulate her with gloved fingers and a vibrator, the rest of us arrange ourselves around her, supporting her pale body and petting her into boneless relaxation. The husband, with a ringside seat against the wall, watches avidly but does not yet touch. We feel her twitch as the first well-lubed hand slips past its knuckles and into her.

She writhes, wails, comes. Smiling, the first woman relinquishes her place to the next one.

And so it goes, until it is time for me, the penultimate. By the time I take my place between her legs, her cunt is so gooey and accommodating that it takes almost no effort to slip in. Slyly I press the heel of my left hand into the area right above her pubic bone, so it presses her g-spot down toward my questing fist, and she convulses and roars into orgasm.

I smile, withdraw slowly and gently, and relinquish the seat of honor to her husband. It takes almost no time for his enormous paw to slide into her for the very first time. The rest of us, the midwives of joy, place our hands around her torso and share the love that connects them – the ecstatically fucked-out wife and the husband who loved her enough to make this thing happen.

I feel their devotion burning in my own body. I turn to my friend and whisper, too low for the couple to hear or care: I love my life.”

What do you feel people should do more of to live happy and healthy sexual lifestyles?

Shame is the biggest obstacle to any kind of happy and healthy sex or relationship, with ignorance a close second. Ignorance is easy to solve: read books, peruse websites, ask questions of people who have been around longer than you have, and understand that you will make mistakes – everybody makes mistakes.

Shame, however, is harder to eradicate. Most of us learn sexual shame from earliest childhood – there’s video of fetuses masturbating in the womb, yet if we touch our genitals in infancy or toddlerhood, adult reactions may range from embarrassment to rage. About all we can do with shame is pay close attention to it when it surfaces, and then do our best to move past it – preferably with the help of a few accepting friends or lovers.

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

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