9 Naughty Assets – The Big Beautiful Women Fetish

9 naughty assets to a woman’s curvy body.  There is more to a woman’s curve than you think. As a curvy woman myself, I only started to notice the older I got the more my body type was desired. When I was in school I stuck out like a sore thumb.  I was one of the only ones whose body had embraced the “coke bottle” curves from a younger age than most.

While the rest of my friends shopped at stores like Supre, I was in Myer discovering the bias world of granny bras.  Those unflattering basic bras that you cringe at.

Women really need to consider what type of lingerie they buy!

My next hurdle was jeans.  Did you know that it’s very hard to fit into jeans especially high waisted when you feel like your ass is in fact eating your clothing?  Incoming, the world of leggings!

HELLO! Something I could wear that fit me all over honestly the best invention since sliced bread.  Although it took me a few years I now know exactly what styles of clothing fit and what doesn’t.  Men wonder why we take so long to shop.

pixabay royalty free: Image by Newium

There was a bit of a struggle when it came to love

I thought the only way a guy was going to love me was if I was tiny.  Truth is, it has taken me a long time to accept that everyone is loved.  We don’t have to be loved by the same guys. Some men will appreciate us and others will turn their nose up.  That is life.   I’ve always pondered the questions “Why do men like curvy women?” and “What’s the appeal?”

I mean no complaints from me.  But as women we constantly see images of thinner women as the ideal female body shape.

Could there really be more to sex appeal than just skinny?

Just like with anything there is no black and white. Curves aren’t just curves and guys aren’t just attracted to certain curves. There is a whole world of curves you might have not known about that the male species find attractive!

Prepare to see some crowd favourites and others that just might surprise you as well as logical reasons why curves in general are just appealing.

9 naughty assets
Good Girl Guide: Sex Guide

9 Naughty Assets 

  • Boobs

Bags of fun that sit precisely on your chest. There are many men who have a slight obsession towards bigger boobs and women who tend to be curvy have exactly that feature that men are drawn too.

  • Booty

Junk in the trunk need I say more?

  • Back curve

That “S” curve your back creates when you have a larger rear end.

  • It’s a sign of fertility

Larger breasts are always associated with breastfeeding as well and wider hips are associated to caring children.

  • No bruised thighs

Ever heard of the term more cushion for the pushing? I think you catch my drift…

  • They are softer

Guys want to be the hard one in the relationship; they want a softer girl to cuddle up to. It’s more satisfying to them than getting bones and elbows dug into them.

  • They are not afraid to get a little rough

Curvy girls are said to handle things in the bedroom more. Many guy have said that they were afraid of hurting a girl when they were on the smaller side. But with a girl that was curvier they could get harder and kinkier.

  • It’s classically beautiful

From back in ancient times many paintings were honoured with the presence of women with curves. Beautiful women who were larger, had cellulite thighs and chubby arms. They were all considered beautiful because not only did it promote fertility.  But it also meant that they were well fed which was a sign of wealth and health.

  • It’s less boyish and less child like

Many men associate curves with a motherly figure.  While there are still a fair few men that are attracted to skinny, there are a lot of men who prefer curves even with a little extra weight.

9 naughty assets
Katy Perry photoshopped to be plus size

Exposing The Extreme Big Beautiful Women Fetish

“You’re actually really pretty… You know some guys actually like a bigger girl”

This well-meaning but rude customer commented out of context while I finalised the sale.  I smiled and nodded in that way you do when you really want to chew someone out. But can’t because you’re at work.

If I weren’t at work what I would have said was.

“Listen, I don’t need you to comment, reassure or say a damn thing about how I look.  Firstly, I’m fine with how I look and I don’t need or want the bullshit “sympathy” you’re offering.  And secondly my weight and this transaction have nothing to do with each other.  My weight is not relevant to you, my job or much in my life.”

Being a plus sized woman means my weight and discussions around it are always relevant.

It is always a focus that people feel they can comment on, joke about or offer “helpful suggestions”.  Yes, I have heard that exercising can help people lose weight.  You don’t need to tell me.

I have always been bigger (whatever that word actually means).

At my smallest I was still considered on the larger side of normal.  So I haven’t ever really known any different.  But as I have gotten older I have found that I have much less patience for people wanting to bring up my weight.

When I was younger, every comment, mean look or anything I interpreted as being about my weight would hurt me for days.  I starved myself.  Trying every diet possible. I worked out every day, played sport 3 times a week and ate like a mouse.

At school I would skip lunches because I didn’t want anyone to see me eat. And all that work, didn’t change much, I stayed a similar size (never being able to leave the 14-16 range).

I could never lose enough weight

And when I did it was in the wrong spot. I was literally and figuratively stuck on a treadmill, miserable, for other people’s opinions.  I did this for years!  Would listen to people’s advice, pretend to be in on the jokes and ignore the comments.  All the while not standing up for myself, feeling like dirt and letting people treat me as less than because of the way I looked.

There wasn’t a moment or interaction that changed my perspective.

Learning to stop all that toxic self-loathing stuff takes time and I still have a long way to go and a lot more to learn about accepting myself.  But I’m trying.

A few things help me

  • A Husband who loves me no matter what.
  • My family and friends who are just happy to see me no matter what size jeans I’m wearing.
  • A brain which I decided early on would be my real asset and not my body.
  • Finally the amazingly strong women I know or know of, who inspire me every day to live my best life without apologies.
  • Knowing I have this in my life gives me the strength every day to starting owning and accepting my body.

Then I learned I was a fetish…

Big beautiful women (BBW) fetish is defined by people who enjoy watching and having sex with plus size women.   Now If I am being honest I was aware that there are men who like bigger women.   I have been in a relationship for 10 years and I listen to hip hop.

So I knew chubby girls were getting laid and what threw me was the fetish title given to it.

I think the word fetish carries different meanings depending on who you are talking to.  But I believe it can be generally considered as things (sexual acts, preferences, clothing etc.) that sit outside the norm of “regular” sex as white mainstream culture defines it.

No matter the kink, a fetish is generally thought of as alternative and niche.

I Have No Issues With Fetishes

Before I continue I need to state, I have no issue with fetishes, whatever form it may take. Even celebrities have secret fetishes that they think no one knows about.  An Issue I take with BBW being considered a fetish is that I cannot opt in or out of.

I didn’t consent to participating in this fetish.  Simply by living in the body I do, I am in a small way a part of it whether I want to be or not.

I imagine this isn’t only a problem for me and women like me.

But other people who don’t fit into society’s definition of normal (for example, people who are Trans), it is.  Because we don’t fit within the very narrow definition of who can be seen to be having sex within our culture.  Only young attractive people, normally white and normally heterosexual.

Any sexuality displayed by someone who isn’t them is considered a fetish or outside the mainstream in one way or another.

9 naughty assets
Magic of Wearing Lingerie

Another big hang-up I have with the BBW being considered a fetish

Is that it seems to be the “sex worlds” (for lack of a better term) way of labelling someone as “fat”.

I read the fetish title placed on BBW as de-normalising a fuller figured body. Thus reasserting that the standard porn star body as the normal body.  I believe this extends out of the “sex world” also.

An average Australian woman looks a lot more like a BBW actress than a standard sized actress.  When they see porn or visit an adult store and see themselves only represented within a fetish category.  While the rest of the store is populated with standard size porn actresses the message that is being sent is that you belong over here and nowhere else.  Or just, sex isn’t for you.

9 naughty assets
Plus size models on magazines

This is also a disadvantage to men.

Many men will often feel disappointed when the woman in front of them doesn’t look (and act like) a porn star.  People are missing opportunities for real and fulfilling sexual experiences with real people.  Because they don’t live up to the fantasy and unreal expectations set by porn.

A podcast “The Butterfly Effect” is an interesting listen if you would like more information about the way the changing nature of porn is both effecting and affecting people.

This leads me to wonder if my whole issue with the fetish label placed on BBW is that it seems to be trying to make real bodies a fetish and fake bodies the norm.

Maybe what my real problem is that I miss reality in sex.

And I don’t think I’m alone, the tide is changing. Amateur porn with real people and bodies is becoming incredibly popular.  Stores like Oh! Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres stocking inclusive products (lingerie in plus sizes for her, plus size toys etc.) are all part of the change.

Ultimately there is recognition in representation.  And recognition that more than just porn star bodies have sex is only good for everyone.  I am not saying we need to stop watching porn or pretending that beautiful people aren’t fun to look at.

We just need to treat them for what they really are, a fading fantasy that has no bearing on the real world. Maybe if we stop presenting such a narrow view of what sex can look like and be, we can all start having a lot more fun!

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