Sexual Perversion or Satisfaction?

BDSM and Fetish Community

I recently read an article about a young lad who was most confused. He had discovered that his slightly older and more experienced girlfriend enjoyed tying him up to a chair, and using various tools and toys to either torture him, tease or tantalise. He was confused because he enjoyed it, but also because he wasn’t sure if it counted as sex. He was also confused because he was conflicted, he enjoyed the play, but he felt that it was perverted, dirty, weird and that in some way it was going to change him and how he experienced pleasure.

The idea of sex is something that confuses a lot of people. If you cross-interview sections of the population and ask them what they consider to be sex, you’ll get a myriad of different answers and opinions. These could range from penetrative sex, PiV sex, oral stimulation, Over the Sweater action, Bondage play and scenes and everything in between. Some people rationalize their sex life by insisting that anal intercourse is not sex, likewise there are many people that don’t necessarily view a BDSM scene as a form of sex. This article is not necessarily designed to settle that debate, to do so would be limiting, and would be detrimental to how some people view the idea of sex.

Regardless of whether you view the lads question as sex or sexual play, It is concerning to hear him suggest that he was worried that the enjoyment of this type of play was going to change him and that he saw it as perverted. We could assume that he has had a sheltered upbringing, and since his girlfriend was slightly older than him that she was trying to broaden his horizons, and introduce forms of play that she enjoyed. Firstly, let’s consider the idea of perversion; which a quick google search reveals that the definition is;

‘A sexual behaviour that is considered abnormal and unacceptable.

Woma and Man in BDSM
Photo: BDSM Mistress

It is therefore safe to assume that perversion is an individual opinion. Why? Because people, as demonstrated above, have varying degrees of sexual practices, experiences, likes and dislikes. An individual who thinks that anything other than Penis In Vagina play is abnormal is certainly going to have a mini heart attack if they were to witness a BDSM Tit torture scene with no sexual penetration. The thing is that sexual behaviour is so broad and whilst I personally believe that sexual behaviour should not be considered abnormal unless it deliberately and without thought places someone in danger, involves animals or children, or does not involve consent as in rape, many others will not see it as that. In other words, perversion is generally going to be considered when the sexual play is deemed as outside the personal comfort boundaries of the person considering it. The reason why our young lad is confused is because it is clear that it is outside his normal boundaries, however, he enjoys it.

It could be argued that he enjoys the relinquishing of control, that he enjoys the focus being on him and that his girlfriend enjoys that shift in focus, or it could be that he enjoys the challenge. Regardless of what specifically it is about this type of play that he enjoys, it is his journey and whilst he seems conflicted now. I can guarantee that his sexual pleasure will diminish his conflict and he will chase what he enjoys. It is a pivotal moment in his sexual development.  

So what’s the point? My point is that it is can be potentially dangerous and limiting to consider forms of sexual play as perverse. It is limiting in the way that if you view perverse as anything outside your normal boundaries then you in all probability won’t challenge them. Engaging in play that pushes your boundaries is not perverse, it’s not damaging, and the only thing it’ll change is your sexual play as you seek new forms of pleasure. In a way it’s broadening, you’ll find greater satisfaction both within sexual pleasure but also within life as it will balance things out. It’ll help you gain an understanding of what makes you, you, and it will exemplify both your individuality and cause you to be more in tune with yourself and your desires. Sexual play is an outlet of ourselves, and denying what gives you pleasure out of fear of having others think it is perverse will cause more disruption to your individuality than you think.

Review: Sex Machine Gun

Pink Sex Machine Medchanical Dildo
Love Glider Sex Machine Medchanical Dildo
Sex Toy: Love Glider Sex Machine

Review: Maro Kawaii 11

Maro Kawaii 11 Vibrator
Emily is a consultant at the Adult Lifestyle Centres.

All You Need To Know About Pussy Pumps

Vaginal Pump
Pussy pumps, I didn’t even know there was such a thing until a few weeks ago..  But what are they for? Who uses them?  and most importantly,  how can they spice up our sex lives.
I  have decided to take a look at the Doc Johnson plus size, its a pussy pump for larger ladies but the basic principle of a pussy pump is the same regardless of which one you choose.  It is a vacuum enlarging device.  I discover that this refers to the measurements of the vagina not the size of the lady. The purpose of a pussy pump is to create a vacuum over the labia and clitoris which will in turn make the tissue swell, encouraging more blood to flow and making the skin much more sensitive. Whether you use a pussy pump alone or with a partner, the unique sensations and the engorged look of the area are for some a gigantic turn on.
It isn’t the kind of toy you can leave lying around with out having to explain yourself. It looks like it might drop out of the ceiling in a troubled plane.  The resemble a hard cup  (phalate free, bodysafe ABS plastic) , measuring  6 inches long , 3 inches wide and 2 inches deep. It is a shame it has to be hard as that’s potential pretty uncomfortable, but if it wasn’t it would be impossible to create an effective seal.  The cup has a 16 inch  hose and finger pump  which attach. The hose is put together in two parts because there is a quick release button to let air back into the cup quickly in case you get sore.


The most important thing when using a pussy pump is to get one that fits. . That’s why Doc Johnson has two sizes.  It is a useless piece of junk if it doesn’t fit.  I am usually good at thinking outside the box when it comes to uses for sex toys, but I give up with this one. You need to create a seal with all of your bits and pieces inside or it wont work. So please… MEASURE the pussy, before you purchase the pump!
 Here is how you do it, firstly measure  from just above the top of the clitoris,(Where the fatty part of the pubic mound begins) right down to your perineum, (Just below your vaginal entrance.) You can also measure the width from one side of the bikini line to the other.
Once you have picked the right size you are ready to go. I will explain how you use them, then go into a bit about what you can expect from them. You begin  by  lubricating  the outside edge of the pussy pump using a water-based lube to help to create an air-tight seal. Make sure that the quick-release valve, located on the hose , is closed and only allowing air out, not in.  Spread your legs wide , it helps to lift your pelvis.  Press the pussy pump plus chamber over the whole vagina area –  making sure that you achieve a firm seal. Keeping your fingers through the pump trigger pull it until you feel suction.
Now you would think that the suction would be most obvious as you were pulling the trigger but the real suction happens when the trigger is released and the vacuum is created, so let the air out slowly. The pump chamber should be able to be  held in place via suction only and it should not come away from the skin unless specifically pulled. If it hasn’t yet sealed against your skin, continue to hold it in place and keep pumping. Carry on pulling and releasing the trigger of the pussy pump until you can feel and see the clit and labia swelling in the chamber. Once your skin is pressing against the chamber, you will find it hard to pump any further – this is the maximum you will be able to pump.
You can then give it a rest for a while and start again . It will take around 30 minutes of on/ off pumping to get any sustainable swelling.  but it will feel super sensitive before then. It depends what results you are hoping for.
The reason people put themselves through this are many and varied. It actually feels great to have all the blood pumped to the area, and makes it super super sensitive to the touch. Every touch and sensation is heightened. You will need lots of lube though because the vacuum can create dryness.  Pussy Pumps are popular with people practicing BDSM. as there can be significant amounts of pleasurable pain enforced. It’s always best to let the girl play her self first to establish levels of comfort. Too much continuous pumping can leave the labia very swollen, even the following day. Some people love this hangover from a kinky night as it’s a sexy reminder of the night before. Others would probably prefer not to be getting their knickers twisted around their labia all day.  The pussy does eventually return to normal, with regular pumping the effects only really last a hour or so.
Some partners love the aesthetics of the pumped vulva and the feel of it during oral and intercourse.  There are lots of movies dedicated it! although I don’t think you can get the results you see in those  with the Doc Johnson plus. It is definitely an introduction and  something new to try.
For more information on pussy pumps why not visit this website dedicated to pussy pumps, their use and safety.

Review: Budget Friendly Sex Toys

Odeco G-Spot Vibrator

So you might be looking to get a bit of pleasure but you don’t have much money or maybe perhaps you are a beginner and can’t justify spending above $100 when you don’t know just yet what rocks your boat, well don’t fear too much because believe it or not there are some great budget toys out there, you just need to know where to look.  The thing is buying on a budget is pretty difficult as is and it can be even harder when it comes to buying a vibrator especially if you don’t know what’s good to buy. The main things to know when buying a vibrator is whether it is going to break within a week, whether or not it will do the job or not and if the shape right for you. Everything else can take a back seat. There are some really good affordable vibrators out there but get rejected because it might look like a cactus or they don’t like the colour it comes in. In most cases the good affordable vibrators do tick most of the boxes but quality is way more important on a budget then looks does.

Lately I’ve been researching three very popular brands so I came to you guys and let you know what you can expect from them when buying your next toy on a budget.


Firstly on our list is Odeco and their extensive range of vibes. This UK based company has a massive range of quirky and fun looking vibrators from small bullet sized eggs to large classic styled rabbit vibrators. They are all battery operated and some have a weird looking shape but besides that their vibrators are great. They are more powerful than the OVOs and provide larger classic rabbits for all the 90’s fans out there. My favourite vibe out of their range is also their best selling and that’s the Lilith. It is mainly a G-spot vibrator and its very elegant and modern looking. Odeco’s vibrators all come in variety of extravagant colours like bright orange and lime green but they also have simpler colour pallets like wine red, black and of course pink!

For research and testing purposes I decided to to open a few of the Odeco products and one amazing thing they all amazing have in common is that they don’t sound like freight trains. They are all are surprisingly quiet, not whisper quiet though but definitely quiet enough that your roommate won’t know what you are up to at 2am in the morning. What this particularly means is that when a young girl comes in wanting a quiet yet affordable vibrator I know exactly where to look and can safely say that the Odeco vibes can provide that necessary discreetness.



OVO F3 Vibrator G-Spot
Sex Toy: OVO F3 Vibrator $25


Secondly the clean and presentable OVO. OVO presents itself very well and all their products come in crisp white packaging. The OVO  products are all designed in Germany and assembled in China. All OVO products boast a whopping 15 years warranty that covers company defects not wear tear of course and they have arguably the most competitive prices on the toy market. The vibrators from OVO do look very nice and surprisingly elegant for how affordable they are and there are so many different shapes and models to choose from, so in most cases there will be a vibrator that suits your tastes.

Another added plus is that most of OVO’s vibrators and cock rings say that they are water ‘resistant’ and be used in the shower, Now I haven’t gone to the effort to test their claim but I would believe that shower play would be fine but it would be hard to recommend OVO products as a reliable deep sea diving tools without doing tests myself. As you can see OVO are fantastic on a number of points but one thing to note is that the power behind most of their vibrators are pretty weak.  My favourite thing from OVO is their cock rings, they are tight, practical, and have enough power for most and to top it all off its cheap, which ticks most of my boxes.



Screaming O Double O 6
Sex Toy: Screaming O Double O 6 $16.90


Lastly is arguably the most recognized and widespread is ‘Screaming O’. This US based company must being doing something right because they have an extremely large range of different and unique products ranging from tongue vibes and cock rings to bullets and even snorkels. The amazing thing about the ‘Screaming O’ products is also kind of the worst thing as well, they are cheap and disposable. They are great when using them but after you have had your fun you can just replace it or get something different. It’s simply cheap and affordable fun. Their products aren’t all meant to last but the prices of them kind of already suggest that I guess. Even though they are cheap and don’t last that long, they still are worth buying due to the fact that they work. The cock rings are comfortable yet tight enough and the bullets have a decent amount of power behind them. Most of the products are not made with high quality silicone but mainly rubber so the use of any lube that is oil or silicon based is not advised, so use good quality water based lube and you shouldn’t have any problems. in summary the ‘Screaming O’s’ are a fantastic choice for some impulse fun and experimenting with a range of their products will keep you entertained for ages, but if your looking for something lasting then it would be wise not to consider ‘Screamin O’ as reliability isn’t their strong suit.

Ultimately the choice is dependent on you and your finances, I think Odeco is the safer choice but there are positives and negatives for all, and it’s especially important to go over them and see what best suits your needs so you can get your best ‘bang’ for your buck.