Sex Doll Buyers Guide

Sex Doll Photo

When we think about a sex doll, most of us end up imagining a blow-up doll that we saw a few times in some erotic movie or at someone’s place. However, the market of the sex dolls has grown to a level which is quite unimaginable. We all know that technology has changed a lot in the last few decades and the manufacturing of almost every product in the market has become different and more realistic. The same has happened with the sex dolls. Nowadays you can choose a sex doll of different shapes, sizes, gender, ethnicity, color and even get it customized as well. For example, if you like a curvy body with small breast you can order a custom made doll! This sex doll guide will help in choosing the right piece for you.

Why would someone buy a sex doll?

There could be many reasons for buying a sex doll. It is an unfortunate time where we are unable to connect with real people. The stress of work, difference in the mindset and sometimes even desire to live alone can lead to an unsatisfied sex life. However, even if you are completely satisfied with your partner, there are some fantasies and desires which you are unable to fulfill with him or her. The reason can be emotional, physical or lack of communication. To overcome such situations and live a healthy and fulfilled life, it is important to have someone or something that you can relate with. The realistic sex dolls that are available these days can easily fit in the scenario perfectly.

Companionship: Companionship is not limited to the emotional bonding with a person. Your long-term partner might be in some other city, state or even another country. It gets lonely and physically unsatisfying to live with the spouse. Also, in case you are single for a very long time, the need for companionship and physical intimacy is can increase to a level where it is hard to control. Sex dolls can help you relieve your stress. You can cuddle and sleep with the realistic sex dolls available in the market and feel the presence of a true companion.

Gift: Sex dolls are also a great gift for your single friend or family member. In case you want to have some fun while watching an unexpected family member getting shocked with your choice, sex doll is the perfect gift.

Sexual pleasure: In many cases, we may not have physical contact with another person for a long time. Besides that, you might feel the need of an out-of-the-box sexual encounter with your partner and fail to communicate that to him or her. In that case, you can always count on the sex dolls to fulfill sexual pleasure.

Fantasies: Are you looking for someone who can stay with you in a room full of kinky stuff? Is it hard to tell your partner about your wildest fantasies? Do you often imagine how will it feel like to have sex with someone of the same sex but do not want to actually do it with another person? Sex dolls can be there for you in all these circumstances. With the advancements in the development of these dolls, you can actually get exactly what you want from them and that too at a very affordable price.

Art: Someone has rightly said that art has no boundaries. So much so that these sex dolls have inspired many artists, designers, and photographers to experiment the wildest projects. There are some photographers in the market who have done extensive work with sex dolls. Fashion designers also use these dolls to try out their outfits and see how they will look on real people. Overall, these sex dolls provide a bridge between fantasy and reality without compromising the ethics of the society.

Different Types Of Love Dolls

When you buy a sex doll for the first time, the process can be really overwhelming. There are so many options available in the market based on different factors that it may get confusing for you. The following information will help you in deciding where to start while hunting for a decently priced, best-looking sex doll.

Different material: We are not talking about another person so the material that is going to touch your skin should not cause any allergy or uneasiness. There are different types of sex dolls available in the market based on the material used. Most basic sex dolls that are available in the market since the 90s are the blowup dolls which are generally made of vinyl or PVC. Apart from that, you can find high-end sex dolls made of silicone, fabric, TPE, and Rubber.

Rubber dolls are available at a price of USD 100 to USD 500. They were more popular before silicone dolls took over. The main issue with the rubber dolls is that it is porous. There is a chance that mold and bacteria start growing on it. You have to make sure that it is clean and dry all the time.

Sex dolls made of fabric are less common but some customers really prefer dolls made of soft fabric. These dolls lack the feel of skin-like touch. However, if you look from the point of view of a companion, they are much comfortable. These dolls are available in a price range of USD 700 to USD 1000.

TPE is comparatively new material and has lifelike feel just similar to silicone. It is cheaper in comparison to silicone and often used to make affordable realistic sex dolls. The price range is between USD 1500 and USD 3000.

The last and most lifelike sex dolls are made of silicone. The material is soft, does not cause any allergy, long lasting, does not react to anything, and feels amazing while having intercourse. Most of the custom sex dolls are made of silicone. These dolls often come with a heating mechanism and offer human-like body temperature which makes the experience even more realistic.

Pipedream Exreme Fuck Me Silly Bubble Butt Sex Toy
Sex Toy: Pipedream Exreme Fuck Me Silly Bubble Butt


Different ethnicity: In the beginning, sex dolls basically came with a similar face, expressions, and style. Now you can choose to have Indian, African, Asian, American, French, Russian, and Brazilian or any type of ethnicity in your sex doll. There is no limit to the creative and choice.

Different gender: If you think that sex dolls are only made for men or lesbians because only female sex dolls are available, that you are completely wrong. The sex dolls are available in male, female and shemale genders. So basically, you can allow your fantasies to go wild and enjoy some of the most elaborate fantasies with the sex dolls.

Realistic or fantasy: There are two types of sex doll buyers. First who are actually looking for something that can fill the space of a companion and second are those who may or may not have a companion but looking to fulfill the sexual fantasies they had. Bigger boobs or heavy bums are most common requirements that custom doll makers get. If you are a female and want to experience intimate moments with someone who has huge manhood, sex doll can be that “one”.

Structure: The skeleton structure of the sex doll plays a vital role in the performance. No, we are not talking about actual skeleton here but the framework on which these dolls are built. There are sex dolls available in the market which comes with detachable and foldable limbs. It all depends on of what kind of inner structure they have. For better experience and durability, it is important to get a doll with the solid and flexible skeleton.

Heating mechanism: We look for body heat while cuddling with our partner. The dolls that were available in the beginning were not able to provide the body heat. Thus most of the customers wrap the sex dolls in electric blankets before using them. However, nowadays some companies provide the dolls with inbuilt sensors and heating mechanism. These dolls are so advanced that they can heat up at a different temperature on different parts of the body to mimic the human body.

Appearance: For most of the people, sex dolls are a one-time investment. To make sure you are buying the right one, always check the appearance and body structure of the doll. The measurements of the doll are very important as this piece of art is going to fulfill your deepest fantasies. Always check the appearance and compare different dolls before making the final choice.

Orifices: Last but not the least, the sexual parts or orifices are very important. The vagina, anus, and mouth fall under this category. Every sex doll contains at least one orifice. The dolls come in two different categories that are with detachable and one without detachable orifices. You should prefer to choose one with detachable orifices and it is easier to clean after making love to them.

There are sex dolls that come with functional mouths. They have silicone based tongue and teeth as well which do not hurt but provide immense pleasure. You can widen up the mouth by simply pulling down the chin.

Vaginal and anus holes provide amazing variety in terms of color, structure, texture, and other features. You can also get customized vagina in case you want something interesting. There are some customers who like pierced vagina which gives a kinky touch to the doll.

Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2 Sex Toy Photo
Sex Toy: Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2


How To Purchase My Love Doll?

First of all, once you have decided the gender of the sex doll. Most of the order websites start with the gender. Once you are done with choosing the gender of your doll, shift to ethnicity. Asian, Caucasian or something else. It all depends on your mood, style, and choice. After that, the aesthetic appearance of the doll will come in the light. You can make your doll look as attractive as you want. Some websites allow you to choose the skin color, built, height and many other features as well.

Always make sure to check the reviews of the seller before finalizing the purchase. Choose a reputed seller to make sure you get what you have ordered. Always check for the packaging details. Most of the sex dolls come in properly packed boxes but it is always better to check how the seller is going to transport the doll.

What accessories are available in the market?

The market is filled with accessories for sex dolls as well. You can buy clothes, wigs, orifices, limbs and even different erotic add-ons for your doll. All you need to do is to go to the accessories section of the website of the seller and choose the one you like to try.

How to maintain a sex doll?

Taking care of your sex doll is very important. In case you have sex with the doll, make sure to clean it after every intercourse. If you are using it just for cuddling, wash it every 2-3 days to make sure it lasts for a long period of time. Most of the manufacturers send cleaning kits with the dolls. If the seller has sent you one, make sure to use only that kit as they make special cleaning kit for their dolls depending on the material and other aspects.

If your doll has a detachable head or other body parts, remove them and wash them properly. In case the seller didn’t provide the cleaning kit, you can use lukewarm water along with mild detergent and any antibacterial soap mix to clean the doll. Dry it properly before storing.

Getting creases and wrinkles on the skin of the doll is very common. If it occurs do not panic and let the doll rest in the straight position on the floor. The wrinkles will disappear in a short span of time. Do not fold in case there are wrinkles to avoid any damage. Let the skin come to its original shape before you store it.

While transporting a sex doll makes sure you count in the weight you are carrying. In general, a sex doll weighs approximately half of the real human of same shape and size. So you can expect your doll to be between 70-100 pounds in weight. Do not put any weight on the packaging or the doll. Pack the accessories in the different box while transporting it.

Sex dolls are the perfect example of how we can fill the emptiness in our lives. There are many different reasons to buy a sex doll and in most of the cases, it is a onetime investment. Always make sure to choose the right product and enjoy it for the rest of your life.


Differences Between Chastity Device Materials

ExoBelt V1 Male Chastity Device Photo

There are several sex toy materials to consider before selecting a male chastity device, and this is an important consideration to make. The choice of material will affect your comfort levels, your ability to remain clean, as well as the look and the style that you’re going for. Male chastity sex toys aren’t solely about the restriction of sexual satisfaction. Especially if you’re being taken to parties, BDSM events, and Munches, then you or your partner might be trying to achieve a certain look for the occasion. Some chastity devices are incredibly ornate and aesthetically pleasing, but they may or may not be suitable for long term wearing. With that being said, you might find yourself constrained by one particular device for everyday use, and a second device for ‘showing’ off. Some materials and styles might accentuate your size, and others might restrict your size.

  • Leather: Leather is an inexpensive material to use and is generally considered to be an entry level device into chastity toys. Indeed, leather is the material to use when you’re first exploring chastity play due to the slight ‘stretch’ that it has as well as it being relatively easy to take on and off. Owing to the nature of leather, it can be worn for extended periods of time, however the device does need to be taken off for showering and bathing. Leather cock rings may be all leather, or they may have a small metallic piece/tube at the end. Leather cock rings do not generally completely encase the penis, meaning that there’s still opportunities to touch yourself, though this does depend on the actual design.  Leather ensures a natural air flow, and in emergency situations the leather can be cut. So long as you’re looking after the material leather will last for a while, though not as long as steel chastity devices. Failure to look after the leather will result in a short lived toy.
  • Plastic: Plastic Poly Carbonate devices are generally recommended for people on the move. They are exceptionally light weight and can be worn for extended periods of time so long as there is care given to cleaning and hygiene. Indeed, some people are able to wear their plastic cock cages for months at a time! There are numerous plastic chastity devices on the market, and some will completely enclose the penis, and others will have large open cages so there’s a good mix to select from to ensure your comfort levels. Plastic cock cages will generally come with a variety of cock rings to ensure a snug fit and the ability to customise. In emergency situations plastic devices, or the clip holding the device in place, can be cut with wire cutters, or side cutters.
  • Metal: Most chastity devices are metal, and metal is sought after not only for its durability, but also its security. The downside to metal is the weight so this must be a consideration before purchasing one – though many people prefer the weight as it is a reminder that they are being held captive. A variety of metals are used in chastity devices and the best metal that you can get is Stainless steel and 316 Stainless steel – these types of steel are used by the medical profession and ultimately considered to be body safe and hygienic. Metal cock cages are very difficult to get out of without the key as they will require a bolt cutter to the padlock to get them off. Metal can also be worn for extended periods of time, so long as careful cleaning and maintenance routines are undertaken.
  • Silicone: Silicone cock cages are a relatively new material to the market. Like plastic, they are incredibly light weight and are ideal for discreet everyday use. Silicone does not absorb bacteria, though it is important to note that the material is not breathable and will require cleaning and care on a regular basis. Silicone is also a stretchy material that you will find that it far more forgiving than something like metal.


Nugatory Cock Cage Surgical Steel Photo
Sex Toy: Nugatory Cock Cage Surgical Steel


When choosing the material of a chastity device, you should also consider personal hygiene, care & cleaning, whether you are circumcised or uncircumcised and if you have any genital piercings.

Personal Hygiene

You also need to take into consideration a device which allows for care and hygiene and which best fits your lifestyle and wear. Cages which have completely open ends are the best ones to consider as these offer continued air flow to the head of the penis, and are easy to clean. A reminder is given that they do allow easy access to the penis, and may not be suitable for all types of chastity. Open tubes and wide netted cages are also considered to be good be good options for the airflow and accessibility for cleaning, though care will need to be taken to ensure that any sweat build up is carefully cleaned at the end of each day if they have any solid pieces to them.

Cages that inhibit the flow of urine also need to have special care taken with them as small drops of urine can get caught on the device and ultimately pose issues. The last type of cage is a closed end cage which completely encompasses the penis and denies any form of touching to the penis whatsoever. These are only recommended for play sessions, or very short periods of time as they can quickly pose significant hygiene risks.

Care and Cleaning

There are two ways to clean your cock cage. A temporary clean, and a thorough clean. It is important to attend to both on a regular basis to ensure the cleanliness of both you and the device. A thorough clean involves the complete removal of the device. You will need to be unlocked and clean the device as per the material. Steel can be boiled to remove the buildup of any bacteria and it is important to check for any irregularities and damage whilst the device is off. Plastic can have a tendency to build up an odor when worn for extended periods of time, so regularly cleaning and submerging with a water and a body safe anti-bacterial soap is recommended.

A temporary clean involves cotton buds and a body safe anti-bacterial spray/soap. Using the cotton buds, carefully clean both the inside and the outside of the device and skin which you may not be able to access normally otherwise. This is especially useful when cleaning up bodily fluids and to ensure that there are no odors during use.

Circumcised or Uncircumcised

For the most part all cock cages will be suitable for either circumcised or uncircumcised cocks – but there are some that are more practical and comfortable than others. If you’re wearing a cock cage that is too tight or short, you may find that the foreskin is being pressed against the cage causing discomfort. Worse, that it’s pressing against the cage in such a way that urination is difficult and unruly. If you’re worried about the foreskin being pressed up against the cage in an uncomfortable way, measure the length of your penis when flaccid and select an appropriate length cage, or get an open top cage. Cages with ‘piss slits’ or a small slit at the top of the cage may also cause discomfort to the foreskin which could result in the foreskin becoming inflamed if aggravated for extended periods of time. If you’re uncircumcised its best advised that you carry a couple of cotton buds with you at all times so that you adjust the positioning of the shaft if necessary.


Most cock cages will allow you to wear piercings whilst being caged up, though care should be taken to ensure that the piercing is not placed in a compromising position which will cause irritation. Some cock cages will also have a piercing ‘attachment’ which can be used to attach the piercing to the device, and keep it out of the way.



How to Measure Your Chastity Size

Ridem Tiger Silver Male Chastity Device BDSM

There are a variety of different chastity style devices on the market, and since everyone has differing penis shapes and sizes and comfort levels it is important to give careful consideration to any form of chastity device before purchasing. In this article we will go through how to measure yourself for a chastity device, materials, and cleaning and after care of chastity devices. If you’re unsure about chastity devices, or if you’re considering chastity toys and not sure where to start, hopefully by the conclusion of this article you’ll be better placed and more informed in making a decision.

A chastity device consists of two parts. A cock ring which sits at the base of the cage and goes around the base of the shaft behind the balls, and the ‘cage’ which will hold the shaft and is connected to the cock ring by a pin/lock. The first thing that you will need to consider when purchasing a chastity device is to ensure that you get the correct size. Unfortunately, if you get the wrong size chastity device, it is unlikely that you will be able to return it. A cock ring which is too large will mean that the device will eventually fall off or place too much pressure against the testicles, too tight and it can cause health issues. Ensuring that you get the correct sizing is important. The cock ring is generally measured by diameter, and you’re going to need to know your diameter size before you embark on a lifestyle of chastity and orgasm denial. To accurately measure the base of your penis you’ll need a piece of string, a ruler and a calculator.

  1. When erect, wrap the string around the very base of the penis behind the balls, marking where the string meets. Ensure that it is wrapped snugly, but not tightly. This will give you your circumference measurement.
  2. Measure the length of this string and divide the result by 3.14 recording the results.

We recommend doing this several times at different times of the day to ensure accurate results.  For example: You measure the circumference of the base of your penis at 7 inches. 12 ÷ 3.14 = 2.22. You will need a chastity cage with a cock ring diameter around this measurement. We’ve compiled a table for you to average out the results with both Metric and imperial measurements.

  • 17.3 cm ÷ 3.14 = 55mm diameter
  • 15.7 cm ÷ 3.14 = 50mm diameter
  • 14.1 cm ÷ 3.14 = 45mm diameter
  • 12.5 cm ÷ 3.14 = 40mm diameter
  • 7 inches ÷ 3.14 = 2.25 inches diameter
  • 6.25 inches ÷ 3.14 = 2 inches diameter
  • 5.5 inches ÷ 3.14 = 1.75 inches diameter
  • 4.7 inches ÷ 3.14 = 1.5 inches diameter

The second measurement you’ll need is to measure the shaft of your penis – this is especially important if you have a large shaft when flaccid. You can do this by repeating the above steps (when flaccid) and determining the diameter of the cage that you need. If the base of your shaft is not the thickest point of your penis, then you should measure at the thickest point of the shaft. Selecting a cage that has a diameter smaller than this number will ensure a snug, but not constricting, fit.

Once you have these two measurements, you’re going to be well placed to successfully purchase a cock cage that fits. Over time, and as you become more accustomed to wearing chastity cages, you might find that you want an even snugger fit. Using the measurements above you can also determine that, or on your next purchase select a cock cage with smaller measurements than your previous cage. It is important to note that some cock cages will have a little stretch (Leather and silicone) in them, and others will not (Steel and Plastic).

Kinklab 5 Gates of Hell Photo
Sex Toy: Kinklab 5 Gates of Hell


What we generally recommend before embarking on a lifestyle of chastity and sexual denial, is to try a variant of the Gates of Hell. Technically, it’s not considered to be a chastity device at all, but this is what makes it a unique entry into the beginners list. The harness itself is a leather strap which is connected to a series of rings which will hold your shaft in place. Gates of Hell’s will generally have five rings, though there are some with more and some with less rings. The biggest of these rings will sit behind your cock and balls and will be what holds the device in place. The rings will give you a similar sensation as to being enclosed within a restrictive device, and this is an extremely inexpensive way to explore the physical sensations of chastity in order to determine if you’re interested in it. If the idea of metal rings makes you uneasy (maybe you need to rethink chastity), but you could work your way to metal rings by obtaining a gates of hell harness with rubber rings instead.

Gates of Hell are a fantastic way to be introduced to the idea without restricting you in any serious way. It could be a useful tool for a mistress/dominant to give to their sub as a teaser or intro way into chastity, or it could be a purchase of your own choice to determine if it’s something that you’d like to bring up with your sexual partner. Either way that you’re looking at it, it’s a fantastic beginners tool to utilize.



Cum Hungry in Singapore

Singapore Sling Photo

At night time, walking along the city of Singapore is a tall, lean man with a slight muscular build named Michael. He is looking at the midnight blue coloured water as the city lights playfully refract on the surface. The sound of the bustling of people and cars can be heard from a distance. He sits down on a park bench next to a Singaporean lady who is also taking a moment to relax. The wind catches her dress and her jet black hair, making her shiver as the breeze becomes colder.

“It’s pretty cold” Michael says as she nods to his comment. They begin to talk as they watch the city pass them be. She is so close to him now, he pulls her in. She straddles him in the comfort of his arms. He lifts up her dress to see her thighs, the summer dress is pulled high enough so her white laced underwear is just visible only to him. Unbeknown to her he lifts her bottom up as he reaches down to his pants to unbutton and unzip them. His cock is heavily throbbing uncontrollably and he pulls it out, placing it under her vagina. Michael feels her vagina surging with warmth through his fully erect cock. She quietly lets out a quivering, urgent, moan as her body begins to react to the gentle pulsing. Her panties are becoming wet at every moment she is sitting on him. He begins gently pushing his penis tip into her wet lace panties that are gently giving way. The panties are pushed to one side and he puts his penis tip in. He has a strong need to use her and give her his load of cum.

Michael unbuttons her summer dress exposing the top of her breasts, they are perfectly rounded and soft. He touches them and passionately kisses up her neck and bites her ear with need. He unbuttons her dress further down and he sees her white laced bra. Her nipples are blushed with pink without another thought, he holds her breasts in his hands and begins to lick them through her bra. Her wetness surges heavily, as her juices drips down his cock and balls, he slowly goes deeper as her vagina accepts his entire hard cock. He doesn’t move, he just let’s her vagina consume his cock. He begins to suck on her breasts. Her clitoris has expanded and is so swollen. She begins to move back and forth trying to stimulate her clitoris and finally begins to fuck him hard.


Laundry Town Photo
Photo: Laundry Town


“I just want your warm cum to fill me up” she whispers in Michael’s ear. His balls are filled up with a month worth of cum that is ready to release. Her pussy is sucking out his precum and is dripping into her.

“If you keep going that fast I will explode in you” he exclaims but she is not slowing down. “I’m about to cum, you have to slow down if you want me to last longer” he whispers and begins to panic.

“I just want your warm load, can you give me a big one?” She asks. His body is stiffening up.

“I’ll try” He is holding back a large groan and thrusts deeply into her. He releases his load deep into her pussy and she begins to orgasm. His cum drips down her legs as she continues to thrust. He is still hard.

She moves off of his cock and places her hand on his cock. She kneels down and licks both of their juices off his erection.

“You need to be cleaned” she says under her breathe. He nods his head in agreement. She begins to deep throat his cock as she rubs her clitoris and touches her own breasts.

“I haven’t cum in a month, so I have more cum for you if you would like it” Michael tells her.

“You have to give me all your cum, please use me” She tells him and he nods in complete agreement. He grabs her head and pushes her mouth into his erection. She grunts as he pushes her to hard into her throat. He pulls himself out of her mouth and pulls his erection so his precum drips out of his tip.

“This is for you” He tells her as he wipes the precum away with his finger and rubs it into her nipples.

“Can you just use me?” she’s begging him “I just want another hot load”. He stands her up and takes of her wet panties and bends her over the chair. She tells him with confidence “You’re going to be a good boy, and give me all of your cum”. He holds his erection, places the tip into her vagina and jerks off into her. He tilts his head back in utter pleasure.

“Okay, I’ve got another load for you” He begins to thrust into her body, grabbing a hold of her waist and breasts. He is fucking her hot and heavy with the only intent to give himself pleasure. “I’m going to come again” He says among his groan and grunts. “Here’s another load for you”. She can feel Michael’s ejaculate hard on her inner walls. Michael was happy to be in Singapore with a good girl.

“Thank you” She groans.


By Singapore Sex Stories

How To Approach BDSM

Mask Bondage and Mouth Gag Photo

Read and Study BDSM

Studying and preparing yourself before trying anything related to BDSM. Do not forget that you have a big advantage: Many things have already been tested by others, and many are eager to share their experiences. Although not everyone has the same opinion, these “explorers” went through some tough experiences in which they learned about many things and reached the same conclusions but different paths. There are some pretty good books you should read them to you form an opinion about what it means BDSM.

What you need to prepare before the test on your skin is something to have in case of emergencies. For example, there are some people who even made first aid courses, others take their HIV tests before involving someone with experience that can transmit HIV, or have made hepatitis A vaccine.

By the way: you know what “safe word” is? A “Silent Alarm”? Or a “Safe Call”? For instance, a safe word is that word which cuts down all the play immediately and signals danger. There are some variations of it, such as the silent alarm which is a certain gesture that is set up for those times when you are duct-taped and you cannot say the safe word out loud. Screaming and saying “No, no, no !” generally doesn’t help in bondage and it’s considered as arousal for the dom/mistress and permission to continue tormenting the slave.

Find Out What You Want To Do

There is no reliable source to which people turn for information when making their first steps in BDSM. Everyone must realize what is good for them and what is not good. The good thing is that most people who have passed through many strange experiences are willing to share them with others in order to prevent such situations in the future. It is a good idea to talk to such people, to seek them out, learn from them to shun some situations; Some of them which can even be life threatening.

It would be very foolish to depend on a single source of information no matter how “persuasive” or “experienced” seems to be said.Try to read at least 3 books written by different authors on the subject that you want to document. Read various sites. Go to several BDSM meetings of the local community members.

Take Your Time Learning

A rush to experiment something you do not understand is nonsense. It turns into a big risk. Do things at your own pace. Talk to as many people from the local community. Observe their behavior. By the way: many of the people that usually looks “scary”. Do not be fooled by appearances. Bondage safety is a must.

And another tip: do not get involved too quickly, “exclusively” with someone from the local community. Do not allow anyone to isolate you. It is recommended to be careful of people who have been outlawed by the core of the local BDSM community. The outlaws they know they are not wanted, they are expelled and they are not welcome there. These people will prowl on the outskirts of the community, will target people without experience, usually submissive women rookie, whose level of knowledge and without a correct view on the BDSM community makes them vulnerable.


Woman in Rope Bondage
Photo: Shibari Rope Bondage


Be Careful Of The Type of Attention You Attract

When joining a BDSM community it is normal to find both men and women, but here is the thing that many of these men want a woman with whom to experiment. In “BDSM vocabulary” that only means to “play” with someone in a similar manner … somewhat like playing tennis. So, you will get huge offers, some of them more harsh and rude, and only few of them polite. There is nothing wrong to receive such requests, but …. do not rush. Do not get involved very quickly with someone, especially on an exclusive manner. (Whether it’s a man, a woman or a couple). Try to find out personal information about those who you talk with but be more reticent in disclosing too much personal information about yourself (such as your phone number, where you work, personal e-mail, etc.).

Because the competition is very high for a woman it is not a good idea to approach or to get involved with the more aggressive male who approaches you. Why? Because truly interesting people will be those that will respect your limitations and will not keep talking about their skills and experience. On the other hand, ferocious males will use their so-called “skills” and “experience” as a marketing tool, they will throw them right upfront. They will blind you with them. It is important to not let a single person control you exclusively. Not yet. Not so fast. Do not allow anyone to monopolize you.

You are not forced by anyone or anything at all, and you should not behave in a submissive manner to someone until you have negotiated it. If an idiot tries to ask you to address him with “Sir”, “Master”, give you orders, touch you, to reproach you’re not submissive enough because you refuse to do what you order it, even though you have not talked / have not negotiated anything about something you should immediately go off “alarm bitch” and yell from the bottom of your heart and run.

Be more open. Try to meet and have conversations with various people. After you start forming your own opinion, getting to know someone as potential partner is a good idea. The more known in the local community, the safer it is. Someone who is a member of several communities for 1 year is much safer to meet with him than with someone who is fresh-beaf.

By the way: a relaxed approach from a man, friendly, polite, courteous is a good sign. A Dom “quality” has a careful and relaxed approach. But of course, this depends what you prefer. If you prefer a controlling dom which greatly restricts you, then go for it. Remember: the more reserved people are usually the more interesting ones, have more to offer and you will have more to benefit from discussing with them.

BDSM Can Be Participated in By Beginners

Some men like to impress you will try to make you think you are part of a small group of elite people kind of BDSM community, as a sort of “secret organization”. The fact that there is such exclusive clubs.Be skeptical when it comes to such specimens without independent who need a “certification” from anyone to prove the quality of their information.

Remember that self-praise is a tactic of hanging a woman. Let him boast, listen to it carefully, pay attention to what he says and says. How long he was involved in this style of life. How many meetings, parties, workshops was? How many books to read relevant? He held a presentation at any meeting ever MS? What most people in the community think about it? What he thinks about others in the community and the opinions of others about him? Bondage safety should never be forgotten.

Dominant males usually have a personality and behavior which are evident from their reactions. It’s normal to have a low opinion of some in the community … but just about everyone? Please notice how much is packed when it comes to expressing an unfavorable view of someone from the community, how easy it goes. It is normal to be some people in the community that like your dom/mistress and some who don’t. Try to figure if those who attack him/her do it for a reason or not. How many friends does he/she have? Does he truly seem dominant in everyday life?

When you go out on a date with him, do the waitress test: Be careful how he/she treats the waitress as he will treat you the same way. Does he behave politely in the face of a stranger? Or behaves brutally, showing a lack of education? Any complains against the waitress? At the first meeting with you, it will behave toward you, because he wants to impress you. But the restaurant waitress will reveal his true colors. In those moments he focuses only to do you a good impression. Not thinking at all about the waitress.


The first year spent in the world BDSM is a period where you learn many, a period of growth and development. Especially personal. You will experience many new experiences, You’ll meet new people and you’ll discover new things.You may find:

  • Many women are not 100% submissive, many will switch between roles.
  • You will discover a lot about bi-sexuality and polygamy.
  • You will have the opportunity to explore many of the BDSM: bondage, shibari, spanking, whipping, wax, etc.
  • It is normal to discover that actually you like a lot about who you knew from the start and some of the things that attracted you so much now you find that you like a lot.
  • “Never say never”.
  • Follow your intuition. If instinct tells you that something seems interesting, then putting it into practice will certainly be something pleasant. But if instinct warns you about something …. Please keep in mind your instincts. That thing will not put into practice brings so much pleasure.
  • Do not rush to do anything. Everything will normally come at the right time.
  • Perhaps it will seem interesting to explore BDSM having multiple partners.

As always, do not rush, knowing the other person and negotiating. Bondage safety should be considered first.