What Is True Love?

We all seek it and then when we first find it,  it is probably the greatest feeling, along with having babies, that we will ever feel before we leave this precious small planet that we get such a short privileged time to spend on.
I had an epiphany last night in bed with my partner. I was in a huge mood with him! We have been going through a patchy spot and I  hated him with every fragment of my being because he had been angry with me. I may in hindsight have behaved like an idiot, and perhaps was slightly,  but only very slightly, to blame!
What it did start to make me think about though, was, if we are falling out of love all the time, why the hell don’t we both just wave farewell and just go our separate ways?
Then I thought to my self,  well…for one thing, ..I have been with him for nearly 20 years. Perhaps that is it? Am I just frightened of change? I am almost 50 for goodness sake! Will no one else ever want me? Then there is the fact we have three children together, one of them hasn’t even had a first birthday yet!

Perhaps that is why I don’t leave him?

However,  While I was lying trying to sleep next to him, as he was snoring so bloody loudly I wanted to punch him in the face and retreat to the couch I just thought to myself  Just maybe the things I can’t bare about him are the very things I would probably miss the most.
working at love
Soul Mates
I thought about my children too and what I would miss about them, I know it is a bit depressing to think about losing a child, or taking for granted that  they are healthy and happy, but just to make the point, the things I might miss the most about them are the very things I hate. What about them lying horizontally between us and completely taking over our bed every night, the mess they make all the incessant fighting, pissing on the toilet seat and stealing any decent food from the fridge. ?
I am lucky enough to work in a sex shop with an endless supply of things that can enhance my sex life .and I love to please my man when he is in a good mood. I also have a mean streak of withholding sex when he hasn’t done the dishes.

Men in my experience remain, eternal teenagers, they appreciate a partner who brings home a new toy or a new lube or a new porn movie, perhaps dresses up in some sexy lingerie now and again. In my view, true love is giving something sometimes that you might not even be in the mood for. You may probably even end up loving it.   BUT, here is the thing, there are benefits to being lovely and thoughtful to men when you might not feel like it, You can ask them to do a bit more housework…..and I promise they won’t say no!  So rather than get your phone out and record his snoring to play it back to him the next day or purposely leave him more mess to clean up than you usually would so he knows how it feels, maybe just give him a cuddle and think about all the things you love about him.

 If you have the same unconditional love for a partner that you would your child, then that I think is my idea of true true love. It isn’t the heady,  early,  honeymoon feeling you get in your teenage years or when you have an affair and suddenly feel alive again..  It is waking up with your partner of 20 years in the middle of the night, cuddling up against his middle-aged paunch and just telling him that you love him out of the blue. When he quietly says thank you,  carries on snoring, and probably didn’t even hear a word of what you said, just cuddles you back, that is precious.  Being able to get up in the morning with a stomach that hangs around your knees and boobs you can mop the floor with and he still wants a bit of a grope and a feel.,.Be grateful, That is love!
Every one is a winner if you just communicate and appreciate and explore the things that you both want..  It can be so hard to appreciate partners when you have to deal with kids and work and housework…but it is possible!
Written by a consultant at the Oh Zone stores!

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