The Truth About Valentines Day!

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and while many people prepare lavish gifts and nights out with their loved one, there are those of us that dread this day. It can already be hard enough to see couples out when you pick up your morning coffee, but for some reason, it seems that much harder on Valentine’s Day.

Films and fairy tales have a lot to answer for. They wrote the rules for love stories, and propagated these myths with mass consumption. Yet rarely are real lives as clean cut as the background-poor caricatures forever thrust upon us. A story resonates with us on deeper levels because it is designed to pass on a message of survival. An experience shared to help us better know how to navigate our own lives without, hopefully, the pain of going through such times ourselves.

‘Don’t eat at that place, my friend Leslie had a whole glass of red wine tipped over her by the incompetent waitress, all over that new dress she bought just for that first date!’

Sure, not exactly a life and death story, but our need for actual survival stories has greatly diminished through the ages. I believe that where we need the most help, the most guidance, is in matters of the heart.

And mainstream stories just aren’t cutting it.

Life and love are messy. We’ve all met lovers, and we’ve lost most of them through a vast array of reasons. Sometimes we reflect on where it all went wrong, what we could have done different, if it was something we could have changed in ourselves, or adapted to, or if it was purely in the hands of the other. At which time, we might ask ourselves why weren’t we more aware of their shortcomings to begin with.

Dating, as I’m often told, is a long process. There might be a few dates before the first kiss, numerous more until the first night shared together. It can progress through lovely outings, bushwalks, restaurants and cafes, and a plethora of other activities designed to wear your purse and free time thin. This blossoming relationship might then move to more intimate settings, a perfectly home cooked meal presented with matched wines, sat across from one another on a candle lit table as the alcohol eases your defences and helps the bond to grow between you.

Eventually, maybe a year later, and months of discussion first, you move in together. You into their place, they into yours, or a whole fresh start somewhere new. And perhaps this is where those first signs of being mismatched reveal themselves. This is when you realise all those beautiful nights spent around the dining table, quietly admiring the cleanliness of the house was indeed just a three hour cleaning spree before your arrival, as most of the time their living conditions could be likened to squalor. Or that even at their age, and their years having previously lived with a woman, they still leave the toilet seat up. That the household bills are ignored until the letters arrive with red ink splattered across the page.

Because while that beautiful time of keeping the day to day away from your romance, in the end, those things make a difference. And the older you get, the less room for change and adaptability there is on both ends. Perhaps you can pinpoint their selfish nature back to so many events of their lives, but the reality is, unless they openly seek to better themselves, this is never going to change. Those historical events don’t disappear.

Which is why I said ‘as I’m told’ when it comes to the traditional idea of dating. I jump headlong into things. I want to have an idea of what I’m in for as soon as I can. And at my age, anything I become involved in is with an eye on the long term.

I say long term because I think I’ve become sceptical enough to not say forever, even though that could always eventuate. There is an average of two marriages in my immediate family, some more, some less. Only two are still going, one nearing four decades, the other nearing four months.

We like to love. We like to give ourselves wholeheartedly. It’s a blessing and a curse. I don’t believe in regret, no matter how much pain I may end up in, or worse yet, the pain I can cause to others. Because although I just spoke of the selfish nature some show in their relationships, there is a need for some selfishness, and that simply, is to be happy.

Life is too short to not be happy.

And that’s why this Valentine’s Day, and in fact every day, it is most important to love yourself first and foremost. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin, in your own heart, in your own thoughts.

When, or if, we ever then meet someone, we can be strong within ourselves, know who we truly are, and let them see that side of us. Maybe we’ll even think about how much do we care if bills are paid late or the toilet seat is left up, because in the end, does that really matter?

A rhetorical question? No. In the end, it shouldn’t matter. Because if we can love ourselves first, then we will have love to shroud another in, should we want.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m going to spend it alone, with the one I love.

And probably a pizza. And that horror movie the ex always refused to watch.

Top 12 Valentine Adult Gift Ideas!

What are your top picks for Valentines Day?  These are mine!
1. SINGLE GUY
Tenga Flip Zero – Vibrating. Once he’s stuck his fingers in this bad boy. His finger is hooked, and so will he. Don’t forget to squeeze down for that suction. It’s a great toy for most lads – but if theyre horse hung (girth) he’s going to struggle.
2. SINGLE GIRL
Womanizer – Been selling these things like crazy. Great for those that are looking for that something a wee bit different. Other wise rabbits will take care of everything for them. Particularly bi stronic fusion, dual stimulation, thrusting and power. Lady Bi if they don’t care much for the thrusting.
3. COUPLE
We-vibe kit. Any Kit. get the best of everything is a single kit. You want the we-vibe for weekends and the tango for weekdays? You got it. Want the we-vibe for partnered play and the premium womanizer for when you’re home alone. We have you covered.
4.BDSM
Wartenberg Wheels (They’re coming soon). One of my favourites, great intro toy. Great for sense play, just all round great toy. I’m also a huge fan of bondage kits. Everything matches – which is a bonus. Lastly. A wand. Must have a wand. Le Wand, Palm Power, doxy. Get them a wand to go with every single other toy.
5. GAY GUY
Is it for his partner? Is it for him? Not all gay guys like anal play. So work out if it’s for his dick or for his ass. Prostate toys for those that like to move during play – the vibe will hit his p spot with every single thrust. Masturbator for his dick. otherwise get the poor lad some good quality anal lube.
6. BI- PERSON
Depends on their sex, whether they like anal, dick or vaginal play or all three. Refer to above written.
Strap ons are a great mix for bi guys and girls, pegging play is an understated area of play. Worth a mention whenever a heterosexual couple is looking for anal toys for him – it plants the seed in there for them.
7. TRANS PERSON
Depends on MtF or FtM. Dilators for MtF are a must have. Buck off Range for FtM.
8. CLIT
Womanizer. Tango/NU Bullet. Clitoral suction pumps. Three very different types of stimulation which will have almost everyone covered.  If they like it a bit rough and are into bdsm – get a clamp on it.
9.ANAL
Buttplugs are great for girls since it adds pressure to the vaginal walls. B Vibes have this down pat, especially the rimming which will do something very few anal toys do. For prostate i love the classic Bootie by fun factory. Great beginners toy, moves with your thrusting and applies it where you want, when you want every single time.
10. INSERTION
I can’t go past the tiger G5. Those ribbings. That curve. That bend. That power. Come here tiger, let’s play. Great length, great for friction movement and did i mention that power?
11. LONG DISTANCE
Kiiroo set. Sure the we-vibe is great and all but teledildonics are just amazing. You can feel the masturbator move with the specially placed sensors in the g spot vibrator.
12. PROSTATE
Bootie. B Vibes. Steel Butt Plugs – the underrated stars of anal play. Less friction, easy to clean, won’t break and super fun with sensory play.
13. LUBE
Superslyde for everyday penetration, Pjur Original for those that need a little more viscosity, and JO premium (black) for heavy duty play. Surgical lube for sounding, and J-Lube for fisting. Intimate Earth Waterbased for sensitive skin.
14. MASSAGE
Superslyde. Mix it with your own sensual oils so that you’re not committed to a single scent every single time. Else wildfire black which is highly concentrated, great for muscles and just pretty damn awesome for intimate play.
Valentines Sex Toys
15. PROLONGING
Viga, Super dooz hands down. Stud 100 if we have it in

9 Mischievous Valentine’s Day Sex Ideas

Valentine's kiss

Valentine’s Day is an excellent occasion to make your sexual life a bit more interesting. For couples, it gives them the perfect chance to deliver new and exciting pleasures to each other. It’s time to think about how you can please your partner and what can make the night unforgettable. Here are 9 mischievous Valentine’s Day sex ideas:

1) Dominate Your Lover

Instead of sighing and ecstatically moaning during sex, verbalize your own desires. Each of them! That is, say what your partner should do, how to stand, lie, where and how to touch or kiss you etc. Warn her that you won’t tolerate disobedience. All she needs to do is to listen and follow your orders.

2) Close Your Lover’s Eyes

For this one, you’ll need a blindfold, an ice cube, a feather, a vibrator, and other objects that you can adapt and use for foreplay. Use the blindfold to cover the girl’s eyes, then touch her in unexpected places with unexpected objects (the more unexpected the objects and the spots are, the better) until she finally begs you to take her. When her eyes are closed, other senses become sharper, so her orgasm will be unforgettable.

3) Visit New Places For Sexual Discovery

You need 10 sheets of paper and 2 pens. Each of you writes 5 places on the paper (“cinema”, “restaurant”, “parking lot” etc.), throw the pieces of paper in the hat and pull one out. Next, go straight to the location written on the paper. Find a quiet and cosy spot so you spend time enjoying each other. Sex will be spiced up with adrenaline (and the possibility of being caught is also a kind of extreme) which will feel incredible.

Valentine's restaurant date
Image: Valentine’s Date

4) Become Strangers

Meet in the lobby bar of the hotel and pretend that you don’t know each other. Offer to buy the girl a drink and try to make friends with her. You can both be whomever you would like to be and say whatever you want. For example, you can pretend to be a stewardesses, a millionaire or even a nuclear physicists.  The main thing is not to break character and act according to the role until the very end and by “the very end” we don’t mean the moment when the “stranger” agrees to go up to your room, the end is the check-out time the next morning. This way the “immersion” will be better.

Since both of you will be playing new roles (and this is the main rule), your sex will at least be non-trivial. It may even turn out to be the best in your life. Besides, it’s sometimes extremely entertaining and interesting to know how your partner sees herself.

5) Try New Sex Toys

Each of you can bring, say, 3 new sex toys to your bed and then go for a test drive trying all of them. The main thing is to be realistic about your capabilities and not turn the marathon into a sprint. Usually, the novelty of the sensations experienced inevitably affects the rapidity of a male orgasm. And the task is to unbox and try all your new purchases.

What’s the catch? This game allows both of you to suggest to your partner to try a new toy you have always wanted to bring into your sex life. When both of you are free to choose any device you want, you’ll avoid embarrassment, misunderstandings and phrases, like “normal human sex is no longer interesting to you.”

6) Try New Sex Positions

This sex position will be great if both of you want to reach maximum levels of pleasure. Get on your knees, take her by the ankles and put her feet on your shoulders. Once you’re inside her, move both her legs onto one shoulder. In this position, the blood flow to her genitals is increased, which means that sensitivity is much higher than usual. Besides, in this position, her legs aren’t spread, the vagina is tightly wrapped around the penis, which increases the sensations during friction. You can also use your hand to stimulate her clitoris.

7) Visit A New Place

Nothing brings brighter sensations than extreme sex. Why not leave the standard options for later and try something new and even exotic in the name of Valentine’s Day? Everything depends on your sexual fantasy and the level of adrenaline you wish to experience. For some couples, sex on the kitchen table is already extreme and for others, sex in a crowded bus is quite normal. Wherever passion gets you: in the fitting room of a shopping centre, on the roof of a multi-storey house, in an elevator or in a public toilet, do it.

Valentine's holiday
Image: Couple Swimming

8) Try A New Experience

According to the polls, more than 20% of couples in love go on holidays for a new sexual experience. The most innocent one is a trip to the nearest sex toy shop to buy a couple of toys and spend the night experimenting with them. But some couples go further. To spice up their sex life, they invite a third partner into their bed or even try tantric sex. Why not? Just make sure that your loved one is OK with such experiments.

9) Make It An Intimate And Romantic Atmosphere

If you’re conservative, you can simply limit yourself to a nice, romantic dinner and continue the evening in a hotel room with a glass of champagne. You can enjoy a striptease performance from your girlfriend and end the night with passionate sex. In general, everything depends on your desire and thickness of your wallet.

Make your fantasy work and give your loved one a truly new feeling. And if you happen to be alone, find yourself a mate on Contact Brides.