Fetishes vs Fantasies.

fetishes and fantasies

Words are occasionally my favorite tool to use both in the bedroom and out. But today we aren’t talking about dirty talk, though we could. No today dear readers, we are talking semantics and comparing two of my favourite words and words that are often confused, confuddled and mixed up in many scenes, scenarios and interchanges between people when discussing kinks.

 

Fetish vs Fantasy.

 

Fetishes

 

A fetish can best be described as a strong desire or need for something be it an object or a person, an act or kink. There are those who can argue that a fetish could be categorized as an uncontrollable desire, the very opposite a phobia, in which a person has an uncontrollable fear, sometimes even irrational. Fetishes can sometimes be categorised as lust worthy, uncontrollable desires, perhaps even irrational to the rational part of a person’s mentality. But it still gives them sexual or pleasureable gratification.

 

Fetishes can be primal in nature and in some aspects some people have felt much shame in them. Finding safe and welcoming communities where they can find acceptance as well as safe spaces to safely explore, discuss and explore these fetishes is becoming more mainstream and is a joy to see as our society opens up and #breaksthestigma. Fetishes can be many and varied. To date there are over 239 fetishes but here are 12 of some of the most common sexual ones you may have come across

 

  1. Role-Playing – or dress ups. Just because we’re adults doesn’t mean we can’t play make believe sometimes. It can be fun to slip into a different person from time to time, try on a fun costume and pretend to be a different character.

 

  1. Anal sex – this one is a little bit of a grey area, some people enjoy anal sex as a sexul act while others visualise it as a fetish. As long as everyone is consensually enjoying it, who are we to label labels?

 

  1. Lingerie – being aroused by a certain type of lingerie is definitely a fetish and more common than people give it credit. Stockings. Lace. satin. Latex. These pieces of adorning lingerie can be wholeheartedly turn ons for people.

 

  1. Impact Play- spanking, flogging, paddling and other forms of consensual striking.

 

  1. Foot Fetish – the worship of feet through acts such as kissing, massage, smelling, licking, touching or just watching.

 

  1. Bondage – Being tied up or restrained. Bondage can range from very mild to very intense and is usually found in BDSM but has also been known to be one of the first things to try when spicing up things in the bedroom. Restaurants can be made from cuffs, rope, a tie, cable ties,…..many things.

 

  1. Group sex – threesomes and foursomes are the most common but group sex also extends to orgies involving multiple people and gang-bangs including one person of one gender and mutliples of the other gender.

 

  1. Sensory play- When we think sensory play we often immediately think of hot and cold, ice and fire, or in this case wax play. Sensation play also includes blindfolds, feathers and for the more experienced, electrostim play.

 

  1. Dirty Talk – I say Dirty talk but well, it’s not really more things like humiliation and degradation, being called names, talking down and dirty.

 

  1. Orgasm control – or denial. This is edging into BDSM and is a subsection of submission and dominance, bringing the submissive to the brink of orgasm and forced to stop. And doing so repeatedly. or , withholding sex or orgasms over a period of time as a form of teasing.

 

  1. Voyuerism and exhibitionism- watching people having sex, or having sex out in public ith the risk of being caught having sex is very common. WHo among us has not had sex in a car or sneakily in the cinema?

 

  1. Pornography – Watching, looking at pornographic material, before or during sexual intercourse or play

 

So

 

Fantasies.

 

I will admit. Fantasies and Fetishes are not all that different. But the difference is a big one. Fantasies are our respective, imagined scenarios that get us all hot and heavy. They are the screenplay in our minds that we make up, that may involve various fetishes, or wants or desires, but they do not necessarily control us.

 

AND

 

This is the big one

 

We may not want to play them out in real life.

 

Fetishes drive us. We want them. Some people need them.

 

Fantasies are exactly that. They are imaginary.

 

Staging a scene in real life to mirror your fantasy, while nice, will be hard, especially if it is a fantasy you have lived and re-lived in your imagination for years. You have built it up with such exquisite and erotic detail that that is a hard act to nail in real life to the exactness of the fantasy. The fetishes, sure thing, those can be met. But the fantasy is a construct of the amalgamation of the fetishes and how you have controlled them in your imaginatorium.

 

Another example is a real life example of a couple who divulged their fantasies that they masturbated to, to one another, and the husband thought it would be nice to organise his wife’s fantasy, not realising, that while she fantasised about it, when faced with it she had zero interest in fulfilling it with him.

 

I think an important takeaway is that fantasies are amazing, and that everyone should have them, talk about them if you’re open enough and confident to do so, but make it clear when you do, if your fantasy is something you want to try, or something personal you enjoy having a good solo session to when you’re alone.

 

At Your Service

Tiffany

Caringbah Oh Zone Sales Assistant, Educator and Linguist

Pleasure & Pain You Lil Devil!

Wartenberg wheel

The Lil Devil Mini Sensation Wheel comes to us from the Master Series line of fetish toys made by XR Brands, XR Brands are the people who bring us some amazing lines that you may have heard of including; Tom Of Finland, CleanStream, STRICT, Strict Leather, Prostatic Play and of course Master Series, all six of these lines being available at Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres and Adultsmart. Master Series has something for everyone catering to lots of different BDSM and kink fantasies, go check out their range to discover something if there’s something for you.

Master Series Banner Image
Buy Now | XR Brands Sex Toy Range

Master Series Packaging

Maser Series ‘Master your Domain’ the line of BDSM and fetish toys and equipment from XR Brands is one of my favourite fetish toy and equipment lines I’ve found to date. Firstly I’m a sucker for packaging and the design alone of the Master Series packaging was enough to immediately draw my eye.

​The Lil Devil sits in a box with clear plastic packaging, as is the same for the rest of the Master Series range so you can fully see the item you’re purchasing not just a photo, to me this increases my chance of buying a product so I’m not disappointed when I get home and unbox my item only to find the size, colour or something else didn’t match the image I saw on the packaging. The Master Series logo and style, in general, is sleek and reminiscent of cool metal, which is all the better for getting me in the mood for a kink session.

Master Series Lil Devil Mini Sensation Wheel In Packaging Sex Toy Image
Sex Toy: Master Series Lil Devil Mini Sensation Wheel In Packaging

Master Series Lil Devil Mini Sensation Wheel

The Master Series Lil Devil mini sensation wheel itself is small, the handle is easily held in your thumb and finger having an indented surface for your thumb to sit perfectly and to aid your grip as it is such a mini size wheel. At 3.5 inches long (8.89cm) and 1 inch (254cm) in diameter, the Lil Devil mini sensation wheel is perfect to take with you to kink events or clubs it fits in even a small handbag or purse without issue or even your pocket, just take it out and discreetly run it along your partners arms or legs for some simple and mild public play.

The Lil Devil mini sensation wheel is on the sharp side! Even sharper that some of the metal ones I own, this little guy definitely packs a punch. The Lil Devil is made from ABS plastic and comes in a glossy black, the ABS plastic is easy to clean just wash it with hot soapy water and then spray with a toy cleaner, leave for a minute and then rinse off, easy as!

Master Series Lil Devil Mini Sensation Wheel Sex Toy Image
Sex Toy: Master Series Lil Devil Mini Sensation Wheel

What Is A Wartenberg Wheel?

Wartenberg wheels or sometimes more commonly known as Pinwheels are very popular in sensation play, originally (as with many items used in kink) the Wartenberg wheel was invented to test a patients nerve reaction to the wheel being run across their body, this is perfect for sensation play for extreme and more gentle kinksters alike, you can gently run the wheel across your partners skin for a mild pricking sensation or push down hard for something more painful, common places to use the wheel are the shaft of a penis or the bottoms of feet to really stimulate your partners nerves. They are often used by people who gain pleasure from pain. I wonder if Professor Robert Wartenberg foresaw this use of his invention?

I Love The Master Series Lil Devil Mini

I love my Lil Devil mini sensation wheel, it lives in my hand bag (along with a pair of nipple clamps) so I’m always prepared for some kink on the go, sharp and to the point, it is a great little addition to any kinksters and sadists artillery. Be sure to stop by our retail sex toy stores to browse the XR Brands Master Series sex toy range and pick up your very own Lil Devil! See below a youtube video of a Wartenberg PinWheel by Hell’s Couture.

Author: Erin is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle CentresSave

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An Introduction to Tuning Forks

Tuning Fork Session Photo

Tuning forks are not just for tuning instruments, just in case you didn’t know. I knew that they could make an excellent toy for sensory play and I thought it might be interesting to find out a little bit more about them. That proved much more difficult than I anticipated. I was not able to find much at all really. I couldn’t even find a pornographic movie featuring this toy. The more I did read about them, the more my head started to spin. It seems you can use these unassuming little forks for absolutely everything. People don’t just use them to feel the vibrations, many believe you can cure your self of all kinds of emotional and physical problems with them. You can even go for a tuning fork facial, it is an alternative to Botox would you believe?

I, however, am much more interested in how the forks can improve my love life. The forks vibrate at various different frequencies and when touched against each other or a hard object, particularly something like a piercing or an inserted urethral sound. It feels like a very sot but rapid vibrator, very different from any you will have tried before. The use of these forks is not limited to this, as with most sex toys you are only limited by your imagination. Some people use them as a urethral sounding device on their own but they are not really designed to be inserted into the urethra, they don’t generally have a smooth tapered end. You could use them to produce vibrations in any kind of metal plug or dildo or cock and ball toy. You could even nestle your nipple or clit, if you have one, in the crevice of one fork and use another to vibrate against it. The nature of this type of sensory play lends itself perfectly to the use of blindfolds and restraints. When you deprive the body of one sense, the others are forced to work more acutely.

If you decide you want to purchase a fork it is probably best to get a selection of different sized ones in a kit. They often come in sets of 5, you can also get ones with adjustable weights that turn, so that you can customise the vibrations to your taste. Choose sets that are highly polished and test them to make sure they are the genuine article. The sets for sale in adult stores generally have varying sized forks with frequencies varying from 128 hertz, in a small fork, up to 2084 hertz in the largest ones.

Delish Sex Tuning Fork Set Sex Toy Image
Sex Toy: Delish Sex Tuning Fork Set

Now most people will be happy just having fun experimenting but for some this is far more serious business. It is believed that the vibrations travel through the bodies energy channels to the ‘Chakra‘s of the body. There are seven of these and they are said to be the center of a persons spiritual power. The theory is that the sounds and vibrations the forks make are used to clear blockages in the flow of energy through the channels, or meridians as they are also. Sound therapy is used in a similar way to acupuncture and is used to restore the body to harmony. It is believed that every cell and organ has its own frequency and that if you can tune those by playing the correct frequency to the correct point on the body. It can help with muscle tension, anxiety, insomnia, pain and even relationships. In the last few years ‘Sex Sonics” has been created by sound practitioners. There are certain energy pathways that relate to specific sexual issues and by unblocking them we can increase our capacity for orgasm and be helped to express our feelings. If you are interested in this new ”science” then you can you can attend sex sonic workshops in Sydney and even become a practitioner yourself.

If all these magical sounding powers are putting you off and you are now frightened of messing with all these mysterious energy channels for fear of any adverse consequences, I think you can relax. Just have a go, experiment by simply striking the fork and pressing it against any sensitive area of your body, your feet, your inner thighs, the underside of the penis. If the feeling doesn’t do much for you, then they do sound rather beautiful. It is the sound and the vibration together that is so special. There is plenty to read on the web about what frequency relates to what, but I will tell you this FA 639 Hertz, is the one to go for love, relationships and connection. It is all very precise though. Even if you do happen to know a fork’s frequency, that will be the frequency of the fork at room temperature and even a slight change in heat will change the fork’s Hertz. Most of us will just have to be content with buying a set and finding a sensation that simply feels good.

You can purchase a “Delish” set of 5 tuning forks in our Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres or on line if you fancy giving them a try.

 

About the Author: Emily is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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