Better sex for 2021

2021 sex

Welcome to a sexy 2021 my friends!

 

After swiping left on 2020, most of us are ready for a new chapter, a new story or a new beginning to be found in the year 2021. Although New Years may have been quiet, and that Resolutions are more often than not bothersome to say the least, why not invest your new lease on life on Sex and Intimacy!

 

Here are some sure fire ways to kick this year into the sexiest yet. These are for everyone to enjoy, whether you are single, in a relationship, celebrating love or lust from afar or experimenting.

 

  1. Work on Intimacy in and out of the bedroom.

Intimacy is not simply touch and does not simply occur in the bedroom during sexual acts. One of the biggest roots of Intimacy is simply being kind to yourself and our partners. Especially after the year we have just had. Be kind. Share in compliments. Share in treats or little gifts. Small non sexual touching can also improve and heighten intimacy as well. Learn your own, and your partner’s love languages to improve, spark and deepen intimacy.

 

The deeper your connection is, the more intense your sexual bond will be.

 

Try these Intimacy tips

  • Take the Love Languages Quiz https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ to see how you best express and accept love/intimacy

  • Write or say an intimate gratitude daily to yourself and/or a loved one “I love my smile” “I am grateful for your kisses each morning”

  • Be intentional in your touch when you say hello.

  • Bring your loved one a coffee

  • Invite them on a netflix date

 

  1. Figure out what feels good to you and do more of that.

Sex and intimacy is not always about shared pleasure. Sometimes it is important to know what you like first, either solo or together. Take this opportunity for self sexploration and lots of it. Learn how your own pleasure works, your own body. Encourage your partner to do the same. Do it alone. Do it together. Mutual masturbation can be lots of fun and very informative. Use your fingers, try some toys, experiment with lubricants and stimulants as you play.

 

Try these Feel good Tips

  • Try warming or chilling lubricants

  • Experiment with arousal oils or lubricants

  • Visit us in store for recommendations of sex toys to use.

  • Try mutual masturbation.

 

  1. Talk more with your partner or yourself regarding sexual yes’ nos and maybes.

When was the last time you thought about what you liked during sex? Have you ever done a quiz? Or written them down? How about talking them through with your partner? It can be quite a turn on not to mention an eye opener and can lead to some wondrous and arousing sexual exploits you may have never thought possible. You can easily make your own or find simple or very comprehensive ones online that can range from everyday exploits to BDSM

 

  1. Be open to teaching and learning

There is a lot that we may not know or understand in the world and the same can be said for sex and pleasure. What better way to find out than to learn. In a world with technology at our fingertips there is a lot of advice, blogs, podcasts and tutorials to explore for the open minded. Studios such as Studio Kink in Sydney offer classes both in person and online for Shibari (rope tying), impact, submissive training and events. Podcasts such as Missionary to Madame offer wonderful advice and insight into relationships sex. Books are also in the form of hard copy, e books and audio books that come with inspiring how to’s such as the The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio and the Ultimate Guide to Cunnulingus by Violet Blue which combines phenomenal how to’s with scantilising short stories.

 

  1. Stop Focusing on ORGASMS and focus on PLEASURE and what feels good. Orgasms will come. (Pun well intended)

 

SOmething I believe in and can’t promote more is Mindful Sex or Mindfu Masturbation. I like to envision it as the art of being present in the moment of pleasure, of what feels good rather than judging sex as the moment orgasm is achieved. There is too much pressure these days on achieving orgasm and as such, a dramatic decrease in people being able to have them.

All of these points 1-4 aid in realising your pleasure and assist in bettering your sex life. In being in the moment and experiencing pleasure rather trying to rush to the end and only defining sex by whether or not a orgasm happened you will experience a much more vibrant sex life that will be unrivaled to the years before hand.

 

So this year, in 2021, sit back, relax, connect, and indulge in feeling good and feeling pleasure, the connection and the orgasms will follow, and when they do, they will bring in a new year worth talking about.

 

At Your Service,

Tiffany

 

AdultlifestyleCentre Adult Shop Sales Consultant, Educator and Pleasure Defender.

Top 6 Sex Positions For Women!

Sex positions for g-spot orgasm

If you are a woman that climaxes easily during sex count yourself lucky! Many women are not able to achieve an orgasm during penetrative sex unless they have their clitoris stimulated at the same time. A lot of people do not realise that clitoral stimulation is needed and often leave their partner orgasmless! Having sex and not orgasming can often make it feel more like a chore if they are not gaining anything from it.

The easiest way this problem can be solved is by communicating clearly what you really need before, during and after sex! Being honest and open with what you need will help your lover learn what stimulation you need to reach orgasm.

Step 1 – Work Out What Makes You Orgasm

The first thing you need to do is figure out the best way to reach orgasm on your own. Take some time to yourself to masturbation. You should read an article to find out where the G-Spot is located and what the G-Spot feelings like. Once you understand what you are searching for, you can use an ergonomically designed sex toy to help you find the area. You may need clitoral stimulation at the same time as G-Spot stimulation to achieve an orgasm.

Step 2 – Replicate The Orgasm During Mutual Masturbation

The next thing you need to do is replicate what you did during solo masturbation with your lover. You can do this by allowing your lover control of the sex toy to stimulate you. Ensure you communicate clearly on the things that you do enjoy and what you don’t enjoy.

Step 3 – Replicate The Orgasm During Penetration Sex

Once your lover has worked out how to give you an orgasm during mutual masturbation, you can now begin to learn the different sex positions that are recommended to use to reach orgasm. With experience you will find out what works for you. Listed below are 6 of the best sex positions you can try.

The 6 Best Sex Positions For Women

The Cat Position

Sex PositionLovers face each other with the man lying on top. He thrusts gently inside and pushes his erection as deeply as he can. Rather than the man thrusting in and out. He gently pushes and massages his erection into the G-Spot. This sex position is also called the “Coital Alignment Technique”. The man can place his legs on the outside or on the inside of her legs. The lovers can also rock their bodies together for added stimulation.

The Free As Air Position

The man lies down flat on his back. The woman sit’s on top and lowers her body until his erection is fully inside. She that lays herself down so she is completely lying on top of him. It is said that when women are in this position they feeling weightless. The man can also easily extend his hand to stimulate her clitoris.

The Pinner Position

In the Pinner Position a women is able to touch her clitoris secretly without a lower knowing. The women lays down flat on her stomach. The man lays on her back and penetrates comfortably from behind. Since both lovers are completely level with the bed, the women can use her hand to stimulate her clitoris without him knowing.

The Spoons Position

The spoons sex position
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The Spoons Position is reminiscent of spoons that are lying next to each other in a drawer. The women lies in front and the man spoons her from behind with his erection below her buttox. Some women love this position but not everyone is able to reach orgasm as they are on their side. The man can also easily reach around to her clitoris for added stimulation. The advantage of this position is that neither of you is taking on the other person’s bodyweight.

The Standing Spoon

As the name suggests the Standing Spoon is done with both people standing up. The stands up facing forward as the man spoons her from behind. He can embrace the woman whilst she can place her hand behind his neck to push him towards her. People often find that it works best when both lovers bends their knees slightly and gently learn into each other for support. As he penetrates her, she is able to push back into him and relax. If G-Spot stimulation is your thing this is the perfect position to use.

The Crab On Its Back

There is another sex position called Crab On Its Back. This position allows for extremely deep penetration with a lot of body contact. On a bed, the women bends her knees to her breasts. The man sits in a crab position and uses his hands for support. The women is able to move her hips as he penetrates deep inside of her. This is a position that you may have to try a few times to get right but once you do, be prepared to feel physically and emotionally connected.

We hope these sex positions offer a new insight into how to orgasm during sex with a lover. If you would like to learn new ways to orgasm, read our lazy sex and orgasm guide for more information!

Mutual Masturbation

Woman Piggy Back Man

By the time you realise things are starting to go dull in your sex life it can start to spiral downhill really fast. You tend to freak out and think that you’re doing something wrong, or worse, your partner is doing something wrong and could possibly be starting to lose interest. Though, one of the easiest things to incorporate into your bedroom antics is mutual masturbation, and it’s funnily enough the thing I find couples don’t tend to think of when trying to change things up in the bedroom. We’ve all had fantasies about it. Thinking about our partner whilst we’re masturbating and possibly even envisioning them masturbating in front of you whilst you are…. so why not actually do it?

Mutual Masturbation is a sexual activity that does not include sexual penetration and can also be referred to as outercourse. Outercourse means different things to different people but usually excludes all penetration including vaginal, anal and oral. Outercourse includes things like frottage, mutual masturbation, fingering (oneself) and kissing. Not only is mutual masturbation or outercourse extremely hot, it’s also a preferred sexual act for a lot of people for a number of different reasons. Hetero couples may choose to engage in outercourse for reasons such as preserving virginity, an alternative to PIV sex or even as a form of birth control. Mutual masturbation may be done in situations where the participants do not feel ready, physically able, socially at liberty, or willing to engage in any penetrative sex act, or a particular penetrative sex act, but still wish to engage in a mutual sexual activity to ultimately achieve orgasm. Queer couples may also partake in outercourse also for preserving virginity, with some gay males using it as a substitute for anal  sex. Folks with STI’s/STD’s may also choose to exclusively partake in outercourse or mutual masturbation so as to completely reduce the risk of exchanging bodily fluids.

Mutual Masturbation sometimes get’s overlooked, its such a simple technique which can help to enhance couple’s sexual skill sets. Mutual Masturbation can help couple’s get to understand their partner’s bodies, their turn on’s and get to know all the correct buttons that need to be pressed. It allows your partner to look and explore your body, after all they are attracted to you so I couldn’t think of anything more enticing to them to actually have the power to play with the part’s that they love the most. They can use Mutual Masturbation as away to visually get turned on and see how your body reacts to their touch.

 

Johann Nepomunk Geiger Painting
Artwork: Johann Nepomunk Geiger

 

Mutual Masturbation was even shown in artwork dating all the way back to the 1840’s, famously by an artist called Johann Nepomunk Geiger (an Austrian Artist) who was a Court Painter by trade, erotic oil painter by night. His picture, shown above, depicts a heterosexual couple who are stimulating one another at the same time – this still falls under the category of mutual masturbation and outercourse.

In 2016, however, almost every adult couple has their sex toys – whether gay, straight, queer, trans or somewhere inbetween. Couples will often use a vibrator or any other form of sex toy on the other before penetrative sex, but not many think to use their toys on each other simultaneously while the other watches. This one simple act, fantasy, desire, whatever you want to call it, could be the key to charging up your sex life.

Not only is Mutual Masturbation super sexy, it’s also a great way to find out what your partner enjoys. We all know what gets us off, where our sweet spots are and exactly where to place your WeVibe Tango to get you going – so sometimes the simple act of your partner watching you can act as not only a MASSIVE turn on, but a disguised tutorial! Mutual masturbation can form a connection that will take your sex life to new heights and I can guarantee you will feel closer than ever before.
So grab your Tango and your Lelo Mona 2, or stay traditional and use your hands to show your partner exactly how you like it.

#COUPLES THAT MASTURBATE TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER

About the author:  Chloe is a consultant at the Adult Lifestyle Centre, Kogarah.