Hey babe, anal tonight?

butt fuck

Anal is a really scary thought to some people. It’s seen as unnatural, dangerous, painful or weird to some, and that’s totally fine! But here’s my anal sex advice, don’t knock it till you try it! Once you’ve accomplished anal once or twice you’ll find yourself totally surrendered to it’s amazing feeling. Here are some tips and tricks to getting comfortable with this new move in your sex

Lube, lube, lube!

A lot of people forget that our butts aren’t naturally lubing like vaginas, so you can’t expect to slip on in right off the bat! You should take some time to research and buy some different anal formulated lubes, they tend to be thicker and longer lasting then regular water based lube which is a huge plus in the comfort list. Take it slow, really lube the area up well and then begin. Don’t
expect to be hardcore thrusting away (if at all), you need to give your partner plenty of time to get used to your size and adjust. If either of you feel like it isn’t gliding smoothly then add more lube. You can never use too much lube!

Warm that sucker up!

Make sure to take some time to get your partner relaxed and in the mood, it will make it much harder if one of you is still a bit tense! Start with a nice massage, some kissing and caressing and go from there. Try using some toys such as anal beads or plugs to get the area open and prepared for more. If your partner is more comfortable using fingers then go ahead with that, start at one and do your best to get comfortable with 3. If you feel like it’s not working,  take a deep breath, reevaluate, communicate and try again. Your partner will tell you when they’re ready.

Miss Independent

Sometimes it might ease your mind if you were to pre plan an anal date and spend some time alone at home getting yourself ready. If you’re an experienced analler you will already know about all these things, but to someone new this will be very helpful. Picture yourself at home with a nice glass of red, some background music, some luke warm water and a douche. Weird scene right? But it has a purpose, if you want total peace of mind in terms of cleanliness when doing anal then you’ll want to flush out your bowels an hour or two before hand. Usually you can get away with having done a number 2 not long before anal, but it’s all about knowing your body and what you’re comfortable with.

Next, would be to grab your anal lube and plug set and have a go at warming up that area yourself. It will help to start with the medium plug, and then the
largest plug. Once the largest plug is in leave it till your partner gets home so you’re still feeling comfortable and ready to go straight away.

B-Vibe training kit

The B Vibe anal kit is by far the most educational and revolutionary anal kit. It comes with a complete plug set (small, medium vibrating, large weighted size), anal training and sex guide, anal douche and lubricant launcher. It also has a cute little bag to store everything in. It’s your go to for anything anal. It’s also a great way to try their products. B-Vibe has a wide range of anal products including weighted plugs, vibrating plugs and beads, and their very popular
rimming plugs. The best part about the B-Vibe kit is the guide that comes with it. It’s an in depth, step by step guide on how to have conversations  surrounding anal, what to do and what not to do and simple tricks to make it more fun.

All in all, anal is fun. Getting the right products is only half of the work, communication is another. Your partner will love it and so will you! Like I said, don’t knock it till you try it and relax. It’s a great way to instantly bring a new spark to the relationship and spice things up. Just ensure you have the right products made from 100% silicone, lube and toy cleaner and you’re well on your way to anal paradise!

If you are still unsure or want some further tips and tricks why not speak with one of our consultants at the Adult Lifestyle Center closest to you!

Anal Sex – My Guide For The Very First Time

Anal sex guide

The taboo and fear associated with anal sex for many will be enough for many never to try it.  That is unfortunate as when done correctly it can be both a rewarding and enjoyable new sexual experience both for you and your partner.  Look, don’t get me wrong it is not for everyone and that is fine but as my father used to say, ‘You should try everything once.  If you don’t like it, at least you tried it’.  This adage I have lived by most of my life and for the most part it has been met with positive experiences.  So when my boyfriend from a long-standing relationship asked if I was willing to try anal sex I was more than willing to give it a go.

The first thing I did was firstly research it and once I was familiar with the ins and outs, pardon the pun, the second was discuss it with him to ensure that he knew the ground rules and I knew what he desired.  This discussion was open and frank and we covered areas like:

There Will Be Heaps Of Foreplay

The very first time you are contemplating attempting anal sex ensure that the vibe is right.  Have some sensual music playing and candles burning.  Bring out your favorite sex toy and incorporate it with your foreplay.  Have passion with lots of cuddling and kissing.  You may wish to have vaginal intercourse first and orgasm that way to ensure that you are totally relaxed and ready.

Use Plenty Of Lubricant

There can never be enough lubrication when partaking in anal play as the anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina and the anus absorbs water.  So for easy insertion and to keep things flowing nicely always ensure that you have plenty of lube about.  Personally, I like a water-based lubricant as I incorporate silicone sex toys in our love making and silicone lubricant seems to destroy the material after a while.  I have never or will ever use desensitizing lubricant for two reasons.  Firstly, I want to experience all the erotic stimulations. Secondly, I fear that if something was to go wrong that it would dull my senses enough that I would continue on and possibly hurt myself.  No it is the real deal for me.

Try It Solo First With Sex Toys

It will be far better if you have experimented first with some anal penetration by yourself.  This way you will know what to expect and will not seize up when the real live action is happening.  Next time you are masturbating leave your clit stimulator and have a bit of an exploration around your bum.  Lube up and insert a finger or two slowly and gently.  Explore your sphincter and learn the way it clamps down and releases.  Get a soft silicone anal vibrator and gently insert it.  I was surprised that I had a blended orgasm the first time and can I say it is something I had never experienced before, but dearly look forward to now.

Play On The Anus

I spoke with my partner after experimenting with anal lubricants and sex toys and asked if when we were having regular sex if he would gently rim my bum with his finger and gently insert it so he too could get to know what I liked and what I did not.  Before I made sure that his fingers were clean and to do this I gave him a manicure that in itself was an erotic experience.  We did this for a few weeks and he got really good at it and had me having anal orgasms by doing this.

One of the best anal sex toy product ranges for women is designed by Alicia Sinclair who created b-Vibe.  You really can’t go past her products without checking them out especially if you are a beginner.  Each product is designed with a different experience level in mind and a wide range of pleasurable features.

b-Vibe Novice Sex Toy Photo
Buy Now | b-Vibe anal sex toy range

You Will Be In Control

It was made very clear that the first time we were going to try anal sex I was to be in total control.  We would be in the spoon position with him to my rear and I would guide him into me at my own pace.  He would hold and not push in or thrust until I let him know to do so.  If at any stage I was uncomfortable or in paid we would stop.  We could try it again but if it was going to hurt the first time it would be a no go zone from then on.  He was more than fine with that, especially since I would try it again as long as he stopped if I required him to.

Pick The Date

After a few weeks of anal foreplay we picked the date. This was going to be something special so we booked to see Sting at a show in the Hunter Valley with accommodation.  When we arrived there were flowers waiting for me in reception and the room was beautiful with a spa and all.  We watched the concert which was terrific at the Hope Estate and between us polished off a bottle of wine together.  We then got back to the room, he ran the spa and put in my favorite bath bomb – there was a bottle of Champagne on chill from which he poured me a drink from a Crystal flute.  He put the TV onto a smooth music channel.  It was perfect, the night was perfect and he was perfect.

After relaxing in the bath for more than 20 minutes and chatting to each other with deep and meaningful, I understood why I loved this man and how connected we were.  We go out of the spa, he towel dried me and took me to the bed.  He lay me down and delivered soft kisses from my neck to my toes.  He then turned me around and did the same thing from my heels to my shoulders lingering along the way at my butt cheeks that he licked.  The sensations were amazing and the tingling sensation went to my core.

We then had some fun with the pleasure toys we had brought and after ten minutes or so had vaginal sex.  I orgasmed almost immediately after he entered me – he had me so worked up sexually but so relaxed body wise.  He played with my rosebud whilst I brought myself down the ecstatic heights that were reached.  I indicated to him that it was time and after liberally apply lube to him we assumed the spoon position – he was rock hard – I grabbed hold of his cock.  Slowly I brought it to my anus and in slow circling motions rimmed myself with it.  As agreed he did not push as I pushed back onto his cock – it was larger than the anal vibrators I had used and did not go in as easy.  I continued to push and it was like a little pop went off and his head entered me.

Couples anal sex prep
Image: Couple having anal sex

When his head entered me there was a slight bit of discomfort.  Nothing that I would say was painful, but different to my sex toy play and his finger play.  I waited for a few seconds and this discomfort went away and again began to push against him until half of him was inside me.  Then gently I began to push him in and out of me and each time slowly, millimeter by millimeter I let him deeper inside of me.  Finally, the whole of him was deep inside me and I had a satisfying ‘filled up’ feeling as the slow strokes increased in vigor to deep thrusting.  I could hear him grunting and moaning behind me and soon he was blowing inside me.

I did not orgasm anally that first time but it did not hurt, was very pleasurable and he was over the moon both intimately and relationship wise.  It is we treasure for special occasions and we had a few more of these erotic sessions before I anally orgasmed.  Again, anal sex is not for everyone, but if you do it right the first time, soon enough you will experience pleasure in a whole new way.

What Does An Anal Orgasm Feel Like?

Woman Aroused

We’re accountable for our sexuality, and we should own it. Even with the clothes we wear or lingerie we express ourselves sexually. I cherish anal (and am disgusted by oral), so I’m truly peculiar, yet so what? I have somebody who admires me for me. I initially attempted anal 10 years back, with my spouse. I’d had dreams about it for some time, and was more into doing it. I anticipated that I’d like it as much as I eventually do. We had attempted butt play first using fingers, and I loved it. I don’t discuss it with my social network much, on the grounds that there’s a shame factory against ladies who appreciate female anal orgasm. It is possible that they are labelled as slut or dirty, or they’re lying for male acceptance. Neither one of those is valid for me.

I never was truly apprehensive about trying it and did not have the fear many people have about anal.

At any rate, the first occasion we tried it he was ,more worried that it was going to hurt me than I was. I let him know we’d attempt and  if it hurt, I’d tell him to stop. The first run through, and all ensuing times, it just felt unbelievable to me. Astonishing, exceptional and pleasurable. It gives me amazing orgasms unlike any that I have experienced having vaginal sex. It is almost like my G-spot is in my ass. I can always orgasm with just anal penetration, however now and again I get the two-fold blended female orgasm when we include toys and stimulate my clit.

Initially one and then the other blended into unbelievable orgasms. Damn, that is something. I figure I come effectively. My sexual steps incorporate first having vaginal sex without an orgasm, some teasing or finger/toy play, and then to  anal sex. I must be extremely turned on to have an orgasm from anal. On the rare occasion I suffer a little discomfort when a finger or penis penetrates my ass but this just means that there has not been enough foreplay and within minutes I have loosened up and there is only joy. I would love to do it more often but because of the amount of foreplay involved for me to relax it is generally between 1-2 times per month.  Certainly it would be more but being time poor and having a family sometimes there is just not enough time.

Womens Bottom Blue Yellow

If you don’t care for a finger in your rear end or prostate massager, you probably won’t care for anal sex. If that a little dildo doesn’t feel great, simply don’t even attempt anal as if you are not relaxed with a toy or finger you certainly will not enjoy a thrusting penis. Truly, that is OK!   If it doesn’t feel great, don’t do it.  Why do something you do not enjoy.

Maybe try another time and give anal a second chance  just in case it was because because you were uptight the first time, remember it is all about relaxing – if you tighten up you will not enjoy it.  That ought to be the first observation of all sex: Do what feels great. If it doesn’t feel great, don’t do that! Not for anybody or for any reason.

I’ve only had anal sex wtht with my spouse, and we’d been married for quite a few years before we attempted – so were both comfortable with each other and sex.  We discussed it before-hand and I would say that I would not have any desire to attempt it with somebody I didn’t totally trust. If you instruct them to stop, and they don’t, you could injure yourself or tear something.

Even though now we are comfortable doing anal together and sometimes it is even spontaneous we communicated a great deal before we tried it the first time.  And when trying it for the first time I was very vocal in telling him what was comfortable and what was not.  How deep to go in, the speed and strength of the thrusts.  We were lucky and I enjoyed it from the first time and his penis size was perfect for me – however you must take into consideration your partners penis size as well.

Use lots of lube. As much as you think you need and after that even more. I just like water-based brands despite the fact that I am told silicone ones now are accessible particularly for anal sex that do not get absorbed by the anus so last longer. I also spread a towel on the bed so there are no lubricant stains and even though we have been married for a long time, most times I get him to wear a condom so there is no chance of him getting an infection.   We have been lucky and never has any accidents but if we did the condom would also stop any poop going onto his penis or into his urethra.

Here’s the greatest, most valuable guidance: Go moderately. It’’s best if the lady can specifically do the pushing from the spoon position backing up onto the erect penis. Also lady on top, dropping down works just as well.  Something else that works pleasantly is lying on the side of the bed, ass propped up on a cushion. At that point you can lift your legs over his shoulders. Make it truly attractive by having him go excruciatingly slowly as he enters you. Like centimeter by centimeter.

The more into it you are before you attempt it, the more probable you are to orgasm amid — much the same as vaginal sex. So once you know you like and are turned on already by anal sex rather than doing it just because your partner wants you too. That is the biggest reason for ladies abhorring anal sex:

“They’re doing it for the wrong reasons.”

What does anal sex feels like?

More ladies are having butt sex and why it associates to more and higher intensity female orgasms. Since 1992, the rate of ladies 20-24 years of age who say they’ve attempted butt sex has multiplied to 40 percent. The rate of ladies 20-39 years of age who say they’ve had it the previous year has multiplied to more than 20 percent. Also, 94 percent of ladies who indulged in anal sex toys in their last experience said they came to climax a higher and more of them was accounted for by ladies who had vaginal intercourse or oral sex.

It now appears that with anal sex by all accounts there are ladies who love it more and will orgasm more than with traditional sex methods. These ladies are insisting that they’re into it for their own particular delight as opposed to what their partner wants. What’s more, they aren’t the only one. Set out below are numerous true posts from women describing why they like anal sex and achieve anal orgasm:


Hand Clenching

Recently the adult smart community blog sent out an invitation for ladies that have tried anal sex and have an anal orgasm to share how it made them feel.  Set out below are some real life anal sex stories –

‘I feel vulnerable, as if I am inviting someone into a taboo space. Partners in a sexual secret. Everything about this anal orgasm pushes your limits. It feels naughty which boosts arousal an makes the whole experience surreal.’

‘Ass play orgasms are the most highly connected with fantasy and are the most intimate and are the epitome of arousal. It is not where you start. You need to be ready to pop. Happen when I am at my highest level of arousal. They are the most satisfying and convulsive by far.’

‘The only way I can have an anal orgasm is with a very gentle entry of a strap on dildo and, once in and relaxed, I want it hard and fast. With very hard, very fast thrusting I can have a massive, body-convulsing orgasm. I need a trustworthy partner and this type of stimulation is so intense that it can’t last too long.’

‘My ex and I used to play that way a lot and I can say the more lube the better. An anal orgasm is awesome. We had a lot of toys but my favorite thing was her to rim me then use her fingers.’

‘Women that say it hurts aren’t taking the time to concentrate on relaxing their sphincter muscle properly. if you have a patient man that will not just ram it in and take the time to lube you and him up properly while stimulating her vagina and anus before insertion. Most anal sex problems fall on the female’s phobia/stress of doing it, if this is done properly size will not matter and will be pleasurable for both parties. Once that happens the anus will be more accepting of the penis next time.’

‘It doesn’t hurt if the guy knows what he is doing and does a lot of research beforehand. My boyfriend and I researched it for at least a few months before we did it.Use lots and lots of lube, I would even recommend using special anal penetration lube the first few times. The best kind are the ones that numb that area just a little bit, so it isn’t so painful. Another good tip, is not to just sit there in fear of what is happening.. Try using a small vibrator on your clitoris to keep your mind off of it. It helps.’

‘Yes, you will possibly be aware or scared because you haven’t try it yet. Some says that When you first had anal sex it hurt a lot and you will cry a little, but if you never stopped from trying it again. You will have had the most fantastic orgasms in your life.’

‘My advice, try it once, then you will know if you like it or not. Only try it within a trusting relationship, use lots of lube, buy the lube from Gay websites, it’s designed for that, do not make anal sex the norm, as it will hurt if you have anal sex 2/3 times a fortnight. Just be open and say no when you want to, but give it a go at least once.’

Hopefully this will give an indication to you of what female anal orgasms are all about and whether you want to try to experience one.


Anal Sex! Desensitize Before Or Not?

The Back of Statues

I have mixed feelings about desensitizing lubricants and sprays. And i want to clarify that by saying desensitizing lubrication isn’t characteristically bad. It achieves its purpose of tuning down the body sensors in order to make anal sex easier and potentially more enjoyable. It prevents the body from letting you know when something is going where it doesn’t normally go, which may cause issues when you numb your anus.  If you can’t hear or feel what your body is letting you know, this could prompt an excruciatingly painful and even unsafe result when the desensitizing lube wears off – especially if you’re engaging in rough play or in toys or dicks that are beyond your normal capability.

Anal sex and foreplay may be the giver of joy for some ladies who enjoy it or are susceptible to blended orgasms or for males with their unique prostate organ (otherwise known as the male g-spot).   But for some it is unpleasant and sometimes even hurtful. Anal sex is not for everyone, however it is certainly an enjoyable experience for those that can relax and just go with it. This is because the anal passage comprise of slender,  nervy tissues that are extremely sensitive.  the anus does not self lubricate so unless ample lubricant is applied this passage is susceptible to tearing.

Lace Lingerie See Through
Prostate Sex

Sex is supposed to be pleasurable for both parties who will explore each other to find out what turns each one on the most.  Anal sex, in contrast to what is seen in porn movies, is enjoyed by a smaller percentage of men and women – however it is a good idea when you are with that special someone and completely trusting and relaxed with them to give it a go!  If it is not for you then do not do it – but if you do enjoy it the orgasms are intense, deep and full.

The key to anal sex is getting the right lubricant.  The anus absorbs so as opposed to that recommended with sex toys, water-based lubricant is not advisable.  A really good silicone lubricant is the go and do not use it sparingly, especially if it your first time.  Less may be more in some cases but with your virgin but more is better.  Many people when first starting out use a lubricant or gel that is infused with a numbing agent in order to allow initial penetration without any discomfort.

Silicone lubricants will also offer a coating that will stop absorption by the penis or anus and will help protect against infections – especially if a condom is not being worn.  The main thing is to relax and spend plenty of time with foreplay to make sure that it is monumental success that will be repeated rather than a catastrophic failure that will have you running every time someone goes near that precious rose-bud.  Use some anal sex toys or insert some kegel ball relaxing and tensing your sphincter, getting used to having something of size up there.

Once you are successful in being penetrated in your anus, if it was pleasurable you will find that your sphincter will completely relax allowing your partner to begin to pump you.  This is where the debate about anal numbing cream should or should not be used arises.  As a newbie you will not know what your body will tolerate and because you have applied a numbing agent your body will not tell you when it is time to slow down or stop.  So whilst your partner is in anal sex heaven you could be heading for a asstrophic disaster down there.

My belief is that numbing agents should not be used, as I feel that if you are enjoying it they are not needed.  If they are being used to mask the pain, you are doing it for the wrong reasons.  Explain it to your partner that it does not work for you and find some other way to have erotic pleasures and push the boundaries.


Before You Begin Your Anal fest –

  • What else may be influencing your capacity to relax?  Are you attempting anal sex for the right reasons?


  • Is your lover doing it for you?


  • Is your lover trying to hard?


  • Make the right choices to have anal sex that will be pleasurable for both of you?  Choose the position that you are most comfortable with and agree that you are in control.


  • Use a douche or enema to ensure you passage is squeaky clean before hand.

The main thing is that by turning off your pain receptors with desensitizing lube, you’re likewise turning off your pleasure sensors, and what’s sex without delight?  So there you have all the tips you need when you  numb your anus.


Gay Topping Is Hard!

No matter how awesome we think we are in bed, most of us, if not all of us, should learn new tricks. To be a better top there are a few things that you should know first. Gay anal sex can hurt. The biggest problem most tops have is that they don’t pay attention to their partner. If you are going to top remember that if you injure your partner before you even get started nobody is going to have a good time. So, you’ve engaged in some foreplay, petting, kissing, rubbing and feeling and now you’d both like to enjoy some anal play. Sometimes not everyone likes anal play, and unless you’ve discussed this beforehand, be prepared for some fun that may or may not involve ass!

man with abbs

Always start by gently rubbing with the pads of your fingers or licking around the anus. This sexual foreplay is also know as rimming. For the health conscious, I myself, prefer to do this in the shower that way I know that we are clean, and there’s nothing more sensual and erotic than a scrub down in the shower to get everyone relaxed! This feels awesome and you will notice when your partner is relaxed. It’s simply about distracting them and making them feel at ease. It’s at this point that you can be a little more intense, and direct and a little rougher. Sucking and biting is incredibly uncomfortable so don’t do that.  Read more in the guide to anal sex.

The worst thing you can do is just push it in. The best way to start is to slowly slide it in with plenty of lube. Just watch and listen to their reaction. It gives them time to relax. Nibble on their ear. Play with their nipples. Hold your dick on the outside of the ass and push gently. And then wait. Don’t keep trying to ram it in, at this point its about patience and relaxation and you need to take it slow. Once you’re in, take it slow. The muscles need to get used to having something there and this can take anywhere for a few thrusts to a lot of thrusts before you can speed it up.  It’s the in and out that can be painful in the beginning so grind slow. If it remains painful then this is a sure indication that you need more lube, or better lube.

As the heat increases your instincts should take over. Pulling out your penis completely and then pushing it back looks great in porn but in reality can feel more like getting stabbed than pleasurable. Don’t rush to cum. Vary the speed and tempo, tease and build. That’s the way to do it. Don’t cum and go. Don’t be selfish. Make sure your partner gets off too. If you’re good you can time it so you get off together at the same time.

Always change your positions. Remember if your Bottom is going off then you’re going to have a much better time too. Move around and see what works and what makes it fun for both of you. Try to grunt, groan, and call out his name and a little dirty talk as these are all great ways of letting him know you like something. Letting him know you like it, has the added bonus of encouraging him to do it more. Your partner has a mouth, two nipples, two arms and two legs. Not to mention any number of “spots”. Use them. Biting and moaning in his ear as you thrust, licking his neck and gently pulling his hair as you pushing it in and jerking him off as you fuck are a few tips that can improve Gay Sex.

For those who are bigger than average, going deep might not be the most comfortable act for your partner. Use common sense. And always use a condom unless you are already in a long term relationship with him and you trust him.Sex is fun and there are no hard and fast rules but if you want to spice up your gay sex life the easiest way to do it is to pay attention to what works and doesn’t work for your partner. Now relax and enjoy.