It’s just another tale from the deep recesses of my sexual subconscious.

The first time I made a woman squirt…

squirted panty
Cotton wet panties

Squirting is a controversial topic, with mixed feelings from everyone. Some woman, ashamed or disgusted at the notion or if it happens to them personally and some men who are under the misguided impression that women are urinating on them during orgasm. Both parties are wrong.


Squirting is a wondrous and tangible representation of the pleasure you’re causing your partner or feeling yourself and is nothing to be disgusted or ashamed about. This story is about a woman who feels no shame or disgust at the natural things her body do when she is in the throes of a full body orgasm.

I’ve left my fair share of wet patches around the world but never in my life had I experienced the gushing torrent of pussy juice that this woman was capable of producing.

We met as so many of us do now, online. After clarifying that we were both keen on exploring each other’s naked body. Plans were made and boundaries set.

Then she was in front of me. A curvy little woman that would forever alter my knowledge of female anatomy.  After a few drinks and some verbal foreplay it was show time, I took her to my room and proceeded to unwrap her like the gift she was.

During the getting to know each other stage of our conversation, her squirting had come up, so I thought I was prepared and to be honest her first squirt was a little lackluster after all the porn I’d watched that featured women with vaginas like sprinkler systems. I should’ve known her vagina was just warming up…

After coaxing out her first orgasm with my fingers, I started moving my mouth down to where the magic happens and started my favorite part of the sexual experience, going down on a woman. You may not believe me, but I really love it…

As she started bucking around and grabbing the back of my head I knew she was close, it was at this moment that I had my first face load of what could only be described as a liquid avalanche of fulfillment and simultaneously my first near death experience.

When she starting coming, she clenched her thighs around my head with the strength of a heavyweight UFC champion and I realized between the position I was in and her gushing all over my nose and mouth I couldn’t breathe, I had three choices

  1. Start panic slapping her thigh till she released me.
  2. Die
  3. Learn how to swim


Obviously 1 was unacceptable. I actually contemplated 2 for a second (what an incredible way to go!!!) Then 3 occurred to me. People drown in lakes and pools because they can’t drink their way to freedom. But I wasn’t in a lake or pool…

So I started gulping as fast as she could gush, and after what felt like a dark wet eternity she released me.

As we both laid there panting for our mutual exertions, I felt a swelling, but not where you’d think. It was a swelling of pride as I gazed down at the biggest wet patch I’d ever seen. But I wanted it bigger…

I wasn’t going to stop until she had nothing left to squirt. So over the next hour I poked, rubbed and nibbled her clit until she was begging for a break.

It was during this reprieve that I was actually able to take stock of the situation so after wiping my face and drying my hair. I stripped my bed to discover that despite 1 blanket, 1 sheet, 1 fixed sheet and 2 towels id put down in preparation for this event my mattress was soaked through.

So after the first experience I have a little more wisdom when it comes to handing the magical unicorn that is the female ejaculate. Unless you enjoy dragging a mattress with a huge wet patch outside to dry, I’d recommend a plastic mattress protector or a similar product to ensure its only sheets and blankets you need to clean. Also for those of you that can, don’t be afraid to get nasty in a bathtub. Clean-up is much easier.

Public Service Announcement:

If you or anyone you know is a squirter, you have nothing to be embarrassed or grossed out about. It’s perfectly natural and pretty awesome.

If you are with a woman intimately and find out she is a squirter and are the type of person who makes her feel bad about it. You’re a horrible person and don’t deserve her vaginal vivacity.

P.S Stay tuned for my next blog, My first Menage a Trois


Matthew is a consultant at the adult lifestyle centers.

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