Stay Safe by Sexting This Holiday Season


We all need a lot more affection in our lives in the age of a pandemic. It’s been a trying time for everyone to find ways to feel human again. A sense of touch, smell, and sound of a sexual partner in crime has been taken away from those who are single and ready to mingle. In today’s world, we are to stay at a minimum of six feet away from everyone who is not in our own household. The scent of the perfume is harder to get a whiff of when farther away. Masks are worn in public, while adding a sense of mystery to one’s appearance, also muffle the sound of a sexy voice. How is a sexual single who may have been more sexually active pre-pandemic to get their needs met in this scenario? Well, one sure bet to stay safe and sexy while at home is sexting.


This is about staying safe, being considerate of others but still finding alternative ways to get off. As it’s vital to stay isolated as much as possible it’s equally as vital to feel connected every day. We are more sexually repressed now than we have ever been in decades past. Even when the world was more sexually inhibited in the 30s, 40s, and 50s there was no stay at home order in place in those eras. This is a very new thing for humankind to go through while still trying to have somewhat of a life. Especially a sexual one!

What Are Sexting Ice-Breakers?


Just like approaching a woman in a bar, it can be tricky for the naturally more shy/introverted man to think of the right things to say. With sexting, a lot of the stress of having a good conversation starter is off the table. There is no small talk necessary, you’re in a space where you get to focus on having your sexual desires met at a distance.  When you sext it’s about establishing what your kink factor is before anything else. Not asking someone “How was your day?”.  Here are a few sexting icebreakers below to help you get the party started via your smartphone.

Are you Vanilla/Hardcore?

What are you wearing?

Guess what I’m wearing right now…

What’s your fetish?

Do you like being bad/good?

How wild are you on a scale of 1-10?

Are you into group sex?


Finding out what your kinks/desires are is half the fun of sexting. The other half of the fun is finding out what the women are on into the receiving end of these sext messages.  It’s the easiest conversation starter, to ask/tell a woman you are sexting with what you may be into/are open to knowing more about before hooking up. Maybe you are more Vanilla but curious to know more about what a hardcore sexting exchange might be like. It’s good to mix things up and you will find sexting is really about uncovering what really drives you and turns you on.

Where To Start?


A long-standing, reputable, and fun place that caters to the sexting community is Arousr. There’s no better place to start sexting than to do so anonymously. This way you don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing to someone in your inner circle that might lead to awkward social gatherings or gossip when things do eventually open again. Discretion is key when it comes to sexting. When you are not required to reveal your identity it adds an extra little bit of freedom to go wild. You never have to worry about a chat host holding what you say against you. They are there to cater to your sexual needs and desires, whatever those may be.

Yes, you can always text people you know for free. If the texting you do now led to hot steamy sexting you wouldn’t be here reading this blog. In life, we tend to get what we pay for. Sometimes the hottest woman you know may simply not be into sexting or actually be terrible at it. When you use platforms tailored around feeding sexual desires you’ll find a lot less trouble, hassle, and headache, all while maintaining your anonymity. Feeling secure and safe in a sexual environment is what we all need to have an enjoyable experience.

Final Thoughts On Sexting

This year was a tragic one for many but it’s also a teachable moment. One thing we know is that if we want good things in life we must invest in them. That does not exclude our sex lives. Waiting for things to open to be flirty and reach sexual pleasure is not realistic nor is it healthy, both mentally and physically. It’s enough to make anyone go stir crazy being stuck inside with no place to safely go.

It’s very healthy to seek out ways to express yourself through the written word and can also be quite cathartic. It’s sexy, safe and it is a lot of fun when you have an open-minded woman on the other end to enjoy sexual banter with. Now is the best possible time to step outside of your comfort zones and try something new. Sexting is safe, stimulating, and much more personal than streaming porn or Netflix all day.

About the Author


I’m Femme Fatale, writer, and Sexpert. I have a vast knowledge and affinity for Fetish culture as a former Fetish model. You can find me every week writing for Arousr. My favorite fetish is Domination.





Best Erotic Massages Places Around the World

thai massage

If you are going on vacation and want to have a little adult fun while you’re there, only certain countries will do. Erotic massages aren’t available everywhere, so it pays to do a little research on the best destinations to plan your time well.

Here are some of the best erotic massage places to consider.

Québec, Canada

When you’re looking to keep it in North America, heading over to Québec is an excellent idea to find something exclusive and upmarket.

Le Penthouse in Montréalperfectly fits the bill. There you’ll find deluxe facilities to enjoy a massage in style. Just select a hostess of your choosing, pick the type of the desired massage, and get pampered.

Along with the companionship, the plush accommodations during your time there set your mind at ease. Get into a care-free state in Québec.

Bangkok, Thailand

Bangkok is seen as a Gentleman’s playground by many. It combines numerous malls for ample shopping opportunities, indulgent eateries, and decadent nightlife.

While tourists head to Patpong, which can be a little dicey at times, more knowledgeable men head over either to Soi Cowboy or Nana’s Plaza.

Soi Cowboy is a long street to wander down, visit a bar for a drink and talk to a bar girl in the establishment. Buying her a ‘lady drink’ ensures she gets a cut of the drink price. She has a quota of lady drinks to sell each month, so it helps her fill the quota.

The other alternative is Nana’s Plaza. This is a multi-level entertainment center with bars on every floor, places with regular entertainment shows, and a casual bar just to sit and people watch. Nearby there are plenty of local hotels to avoid needing to travel back through congested traffic.

Fortaleza, Brazil

Fortaleza is a great spot in Brazil because it combines sandy beaches during the daytime with vibrant nightlife too. Therefore, you can stay up late, sleep in, and still catch some rays in the afternoon.

All kinds of tourism are legal in Brazil including finding a lady of the night. But it’s important to appreciate that there’s a high crime rate in the country. So, while a woman may be booked to come to your hotel room, someone else might show up!

Manila, Philippines

In the bustling capital city of Manila, P Burgos Street holds supreme. It’s a tourist-friendly location with plenty of people around offering an increased level of safety in the Philippines. Given that it’s so popular with Westerners, tourists are better protected than elsewhere in the country.

One of the upsides with the Philippines is that the local people speak some of the best English to be found in all of Asia. This makes basic communication and getting around so much easier than in other countries.

Not every place to find an erotic massage experience will be upmarket. There are some destinations to visit that aim to provide luxurious service to discerning men whereas others are open to everyone. To stay safe, it pays to go be freer with your spending to avoid walking into trouble. But when keeping your wits about you, everything should be fine.

5 Ways To Tease Your Partner In Bed

romantic sex

The best way to add a little spiciness to your sex life and increase sexual tension is to be playful with your partner. To be playful, you need to take the initiative and use the power of seduction by teasing them in various ways. Teasing is all about amping up the atmosphere so that you become an unattainable object of desire what’s end up in passion between you and your partner.


Teasing is a way of foreplay that builds a closer relationship and intimate bonding. Those consequently lead to a happier sex life. Does it sound like the kind of relationship that you and your partner want to have? If you want to use teasing as your secret weapon, get inspired on how to start!


1.  Foreplay Starts Outside of the Bedroom


One way to spice things up is to show your partner that you are in a flirty mood before you end up in the bedroom. You can try sexting and teasing your partner through the messages, so when they stand at the door, the only thing they’d want to do would be to pounce on you.


You can start flirting even during a casual kitchen conversation. Showing interest by the sheer body language or mimics can be an incredible turn-on for both of you. You can do foreplay in a slightly roundabout way, like a true flirting professional. Using euphemisms, innuendos, and suggestive remarks can add even more chemistry between you!


2.  Use Sex Toys


You can find plenty of types of sex toys that can not only enrich your sex life but can also be a great way to initiate foreplay. You can find a wide variety of toys on the internet, starting with realistic sex dolls and ending with handcuffs, flavored lubes, or remote-controlled vibratorsthat plenty of couples claim to use regularly in bed.


Vibrators are a great way to try something new in your sex life. They can be used during oral sex or intercourse, but you can also play with them on your own to tease your partner and set the right atmosphere.


3.  Talk About It


Communication is the key to success, and if you want to have a happy sex life, you should be able to openly talk about physical intimacy with your partner. Discussing boundaries is crucial in a healthy relationship and directing the other person towards the kind of stimulation that you like the most. It should never be embarrassing for you to talk about sex candidly, as it gives you nothing beyond greater satisfaction and a stronger bond.


However, you can also use the power of words when you’re flirting and want to seduce your partner. Have you ever had a wild dream about your partner? Or maybe you fantasize about things your partner would do to you? Tell them about it! A happy sex life should be free of judgment and be all about common understanding.


4.  Use Eye Contact


Eyes are one of the most seductive parts of your body. Sometimes one long glance deep in the eyes can do more than simply stripping in front of the other person. You can do that unexpectedly, smile in a flirty way, and be sure that the tension between the two of you would rise.


5.  Discover The Sensitive Body Parts


We all have points on our bodies that are much more sensitive to touch than the others. You can discover those places on your partner’s body map, which can be an intimate experience from which the both of you can benefit. After all, it’s going to turn you on even more while seeing their reactions and shivers all over the body.


For most people, the sensitive body parts are the back of the neck and spine. Be delicate, and touch your partner there with slow moves. Touch their wrist and head, and see which parts evoke the strongest reactions. All of the places where the nerves are allocated can give them better sensations. You might not even know where your own sensitive body parts are, so it’s a great way to understand your body better and have even better sexual experiences.




One of the secrets to a long-lasting happy relationship is keeping it active and fun. Teasing is one of the best ways to do so. It builds an attraction between two people, increases mutual desire, and makes your relationship more spontaneous. Moreover, it’s much more than just luring your partner into the bedroom – it’s about the emotions and tensions between a couple, even in a long-term relationship.


Remember that those tips are only an inspiration, and each person has their own turn-ons. Not everybody is a fan of sex toys, so don’t feel rejected if your partner doesn’t find it playful. Use your imagination, as you know best what your partner appreciates the most in you and what made them fall in love with you.

Why Won’t Adult Movies Scenarios Work for You in Real Life?

sexy film

Have you ever seen one of these adult films where the woman, for apparently no reason, goes to bed with a stranger or vice versa? Of course that you have — we all have seen them. After all, there are over 28,000 people watching porn every second.


However, it is good to keep in mind that this kind of movie is only the cinema projection of the author’s mind. Every new relationship takes time, sometimes years, to come to full fruition. Even the most believable story based on facts is not precise in some way or another.


However, there is one vital question we have to ask ourselves: why this movie scenario will not work for me? After all, some people wrote it. As human beings, they had to base it on something they previously experienced, witnessed, or fantasized about, have they not?


This article was written to deal with this sort of uncertainty! Here you will find three reasons why adult movies may not be the best source of inspiration when it comes to a healthy sex life and relationships.

They Are Too Fast-Paced

Sure, seeing professional porn actors and actresses using squirting dildos can look like a fun experience. However, how many couples do you think would decide to use them on the first date?


If you are in a long-term relationship, using sex toys can improve your experiences in bed. But, if you just met the other person, do not think they will want to make out with you or go even further. The progress of the story in the porn movie you watched is not really a reflection of reality.


Our social life does not function like this. We can approach the case of two people instantly falling in love with each other very rarely.


Next time you see a young man or woman sleeping with someone they’ve known for a few minutes, take it with a grain of salt. New relationships take time to mature and develop. Some would even say that to call other people ‘friends,’ they need to know them for years.

They Are Too Perfect

Everything that finally lands on the film tape is precisely prepared to be visually attractive. The stories that we are being told are designed to make us feel a certain way – like we could be one day in the place of the actors. However, our expectations are way too high.


Filmmakers put much time and effort to create the best experience for the viewer. What is more, actors and actresses also devote much time and often money, to improve their appearance. Not everyone could inherit such good genes or afford the help of plastic surgeons.


Additionally, not all of our friends look beautiful. We might also not be a high, muscular man or an attractive woman that looks like a 20-year-old. It is the thing that can get overlooked because it is perfectly normal.


The possibility to watch porn online via various porn sites made a significant impact on our lives. Having a media that presents only the pretty side of the story within our fingertips can be tempting. However, keep in mind that we should want less from our life than perfection.

They Omit the Consequences

Have you ever seen an adult movie that ended with a wedding or with a couple raising a pair of kids? Excluding some very niche scenarios, it has probably never happened. Can you say why? The answer is simple: in our world, consequences matter.


Being close to someone is burdened with consequences. As Emmanuel Levinas once said: “The very relationship with the other is the relationship with the future.” This statement perfectly captures what every adult film is not telling its spectator.


We change, we grow old, every year we become a little different. Hopefully, we change for the better. Nevertheless, it is inevitable that as the days go by, we have to make choices. And these choices always come with their consequences.


How we handle our sex life is one of these choices. And when the consequences can last for a long time in the form of kids and providing for a family, the case becomes quite complicated.

The Bottom Line

Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote in his famous book ‘The Brothers Karamazov’: “Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to the point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.”


Our lives without works of fiction would not be complete. However, it would often help our family life if we get rid of our unnecessary high expectations.


Many things can still be interesting without being a clear-cut representation of what we saw on our phone screen or read in some book. Live free of illusions, and everything will be fine. Good luck!

Rewiring Our Brains Out of Intimacy Issues

Sex Hypnotherapy

Jerry arrived to our first sex hypnosis session looking sheepish and a bit unsure.

I ask him how he found me. “My buddy Tyson said you fixed his ED,” he said.

“We did.” I say. Jerry waits, not sure what to say next. So I help him out, asking, “What is it you’re looking for?”

Like many of us who seek help for sex-related issues, Jerry was a little uncomfortable. He told me he was looking to grow in size. His erections had been on the small side as long as he could remember.

“Now I’ve found a girl,” he says, his face lighting up. “And I wanna be bigger before we – you know.”

I nod. It’s one of the many sex issues I work with as a hypnotist. Clients come to me for many issues, but ED and enlargement are perhaps the most common.

Then Jerry asks me how it works. Like others, he wants to know if hypnosis is mind-control, or if it’s just a placebo, or if there’s any science to back it up.

It’s a common part of working with a client for the first time. Our society still has so many misconceptions about what hypnosis can do for a person. Read on to find out the truth about hypnosis for sexual healing.

Hypnosis is so much more than just a comedy routine. It’s been backed up by over 150 years of scientific study. It’s used every day to treat issues like anxiety, limiting beliefs, and yes, even intimacy issues.

So let’s break down the myths behind hypnosis for sexuality, because we all deserve the best sex life we can have.



Myth #1: Hypnosis is Mind-Control.

Forget what you think you know about hypnosis as mind control. We’ve all seen images of Cold-War agents hypnotizing people into becoming trained killers. Hypnosis, by its nature, cannot be mind control. Here’s why:

Hypnosis is a state of trance that the subject themselves creates.

Let me say that again:

The person in hypnosis creates their own hypnosis.

Hypnosis isn’t something a hypnotist DOES to someone else. Hypnosis is a state of mind that a person creates themselves. A hypnotist simply uses proven language patterns to help them get there.

Hypnosis, in many ways, is like guided meditation. Most guided meditations are in fact (unintentional) hypnosis sessions. Even the modern mindfulness movement is linked to hypnosis (

Like a guided meditation teacher, a hypnotist’s job is simply to use language patterns to help their clients create deep trance. Hypnosis isn’t something I do to people – it’s a state I help them access.

When someone comes to see me for intimacy issues, I’m not mind-controlling them into a better sex life. I’m getting them to a deep state where the change is easy to make, and them I’m using tools from psychology and neuroscience to help them make the change.

Like in meditation, hypnosis is all about reaching a deep level of trance. But where meditation focuses on calm and awareness, hypnosis lets people build in beneficial suggestions during that highly suggestible state.

But just because they’re suggestible, doesn’t mean they’re in danger.

Remember, the sole purpose of your unconscious mind is to keep you safe. By unconscious, I simply mean the parts of your brain you don’t consciously think about. Your unconscious regulates so much of your body, from your liver enzymes, your heart synchronizations, and yes, even your sexual response.

If your unconscious hears any suggestion during hypnosis that it disagrees with, it will wake you up. It’s working to protect you in that moment.

This is why I work with my clients before we go into hypnosis to phrase their goals in their own words. All the suggestions I give are suggestions that we have both agreed upon. Your brain won’t accept anything else.

And that’s the beauty of it. When you come to see me for sexual issues, I’m not forcing my idea of healthy sexuality on you. We work together before the session to craft the exact suggestions to give you your desired result.


Myth #2: Science has debunked hypnosis.

Time and time again, science has backed up hypnosis, and it’s time we bring it into the light. Since the 1800’s, science has actually recommended hypnosis as an effective treatment modality.

In 1892, the British Medical Association officially approved hypnosis as a treatment (, saying it was, “effective in relieving pain, procuring sleep, and alleviating many functional ailments.”

The BMA reviewed this study in 1955 and concurred with their assesment.

The American Medical Association did the same in 1957, approving hypnosis as a treatment modality. And in 1961, the AMA’s Council on Mental Health went further, recommending all doctors and medical students undergo at least 144 hours of hypnotherapy training (

From the American Dental Association to the British Psychological Society, and from the American Psychological Association to the National Cancer Institute, hypnosis has been a proven part of our medical establishment.

So, the question everyone asks: Will hypnosis make me a sex god?

Depends on how far you want to go.

Hypnosis is an incredible tool for changing our sexual lives. From increasing penis and breast size to overcoming impotency, from releasing frigidity to improving the quality of your orgasms, hypnosis is an exceptional tool for sexual healing. When you’re ready to make that change, consider hypnosis. It’s one of the fastest ways our bodies achieve sexual freedom.



Myth #3: Seeing a hypnotist for sexuality is dangerous.

Just like doctors, hypnotists are bound by HIPAA law. Anything you share with us during your session is covered by confidentiality.

People have this idea of hypnotists as watch-swinging creeps. They think that going to a hypnotist for sexual issues will put them at risk of something terrible.

We’ve already broken down that myth of mind control. Hypnosis is simply a tool to help people achieve rapid results. My clients feel comfortable going to urologists and acupuncturists – they’re real, everyday people. Hypnotists are the same.

In reality, hypnotists are simply everyday professionals. Some are licensed therapists. Others are dentists, doctors, and psychologists. Some, like myself, work with sexual issues to help improve people’s lives.

My clients are sometimes surprised by how normal I am. They log on for our online sessions, and they’re surprised to see me in my professional attire. It’s like part of them expected me to be shirtless, wearing a black vest and top hat.

Hypnosis isn’t a side gimmick. It’s a treatment modality that thousands rely on every year.

What many people don’t realize is that hypnotists are everywhere. Many hypnotists, like myself, prefer to see clients online. There are many benefits from this kind of practice. People can enjoy hypnosis from the comfort of their own home. Those in rural areas can access hypnosis without driving hours for a session. This flexibility helps people benefit from hypnosis across the globe.

This is the reason I see clients completely online. When I discovered just how effective hypnosis was for helping people change, I knew I had to share it with the world. Going online helps me reach people wherever they’re at. And now, this is what I do. I help people overcome sexual issues to get the most out of their life.


Now that we’ve covered what hypnosis isn’t, let’s talk about what my clients have achieved with it.

As I said, I see many men for issues around impotency. ED might seem like an embarassing issue, but it doesn’t have to be. I’ve used hypnosis in my own life to overcome my own issues around getting hard. Having ED is simply a hurdle to overcome, and it’s one that hypnosis has helped with time and time again.

Many men also ask about penis enlargement. There are ads for growth pills everywhere, but there’s very little research that any of these actually do anything. Hypnosis, on the other hand, has a long history of penis growth. Some might say that’s impossible. I’d point them to the dozens of men whom I’ve helped to achieve bigger results in the bedroom. I also tell them, if hypnosis can help cure cancer, why on earth wouldn’t it be able to make your dick bigger?

Sex hypnosis isn’t just limited to the guys, though. Women often come in for breast or buttocks enlargement. Everyone wants to look sexy, and hypnosis is an incredibly easy way to do it.

I also see women who want to overcome fears they’ve had of intimacy in the past. Hypnosis is excellent for this. Even outside of sexuality, hypnosis is often used to change past memories and build in new resources. By changing memories of past sexual encounters, we’re able to break up that mental block to give them sexual freedom.

Sexual hypnosis isn’t just limited to the gender binary, either. The LGBTQ+ community often sees the greatest results from sexual hypnosis. Some come to see me to change the hormones their body naturally creates. Some come because they want their body to grow in places they’re not biologically wired for. Some simply work with me because they want to be comfortable in their own skin.

Whatever the case, hypnosis is a powerful treatment modality that shouldn’t be overlooked for sexual issues. It’s effective, affordable, and simple to do.

That’s the truth that Jerry came to discover. I got a message from him a few weeks after our session. He’d been measuring himself in the bathroom every night, and in just a few weeks, he was already a full inch longer.

“My girlfriend’s been enjoying it too,” he wrote. I can only imagine his sly grin.

Hypnosis doesn’t just have to be a comedy show or sex kink. It’s a science-backed tool to make powerful breakthroughs in our lives. If you’ve tried everything else, and you’re still searching for a solution, consider hypnosis. There’s nothing quite like it for making rapid sexual change. When you’re truly ready to step into an awesome sex life, hypnosis can help you get there. So the question becomes – what’s stopping you from achieving your best sex life with hypnosis?


With many years as a consulting hypnotherapist and over a decade of being an educator Doug Sands is the Consulting Hypnotist at Anywhere Hypnosis