Ask Oz January 2023: Your Questions Answered

Ask Oz January 2023 – When is sex bad?

Ask Oz January 2023

Hey Oz:  My partner and I in most things communicate really well and openly BUT when it comes to sex it is like there is a roadbloack.  I want to get closer to him, and express myself more in bed but he is quiet and almost robotic in bed.  It does not feel like making love to me, but more a mechanical action – just sex.

How can I open up a conversation so that we can actually talk about sex?  I want to feel closer to him.

A.  It’s great that you want to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your sexual desires and needs.  But it’s important to approach the conversation with sensitivity and respect. You could start by expressing your feelings and that you would like to improve your sexual connection.

Also you could ask him how he feels about your sexual relationship and if he is interested in exploring new things in the bedroom.

Avoid blaming or criticizing him for his behavior.  As this can lead to defensiveness and shut down the conversation. Instead, focus on finding a solution that works for both of you. You could suggest trying new things, exploring fantasies, or reading books or articles together to spark conversation and ideas.

It’s important to maintain open communication and be willing to compromise to build a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Hey Oz:  I struggle to turn my woman on.  It seems every time I make an effort, like taking her out on a romantic dinner or giving her a gift – she almost always picks a fight.  We then go off sulking.  We used to have sex 3 or 4 times a week, but now we are lucky to do it once a week.

A.  It sounds like there may be underlying issues in your relationship that are affecting your sexual connection. It’s important to address these issues before trying to focus on turning your partner on.

Try having an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you both are feeling and if there are any issues that need to be resolved. It’s possible that your partner may be feeling stressed or overwhelmed, which could be impacting her mood and her desire for sex.

Listen to Your Partner as Well

It’s also important to make sure that you are listening to your partner’s needs and desires, and not just focusing on your own efforts to turn her on. Take the time to understand what she enjoys and what makes her feel desired, and make an effort to incorporate these things into your intimate moments.

Finally, remember that building a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship takes time and effort, and it’s important to be patient and understanding with your partner as you work together to improve your connection.

Readers Digest published an article 7 ways to turn a woman on.  These tips may help!

Hey Oz:  I hope you can help me – have been to medicos and psych’s and so far it is an unsolvable problem.  Sometimes I have no problem getting an erection during foreplay.  But if I do I almost ejaculate immediately and my partner gets upset me being a 3 minute wonder.  Other times I cannot get a full erection, can last forever but having sex is difficult as it is only semi erect and literally have to fold it in.

I have tried viagra and it helped me get more erections but still have the problem with premature ejaculation.  How can I just have normal sex – I didn’t have this problem 20 years ago.

A.  It sounds like you are experiencing two separate issues – premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. These are common sexual problems that can affect men of all ages. It’s important to remember that these issues are not uncommon and that there are effective treatments available.

Premature Ejaculation

For premature ejaculation, there are several techniques and treatments that can help.  Practicing relaxation techniques, using desensitizing sprays or condoms, or trying certain medications.

It may also be helpful to talk to your partner about your concerns and work together to find ways to prolong your sexual encounters and increase pleasure.

Erectile Dysfunction

For erectile dysfunction, there are several treatments available, including medications like Viagra that did not seem to work for you.  But other dugs may, lifestyle changes, and in some cases, surgery.

It may be helpful to talk to your doctor about your surgical options and work together to find the best solution for your needs.   Sometimes it is just a mental hangup.

Useful Things to Try

• Lifestyle changes. Certain lifestyle changes can help improve ED symptoms. Examples include regular exercise, quitting smoking, reducing alcohol consumption, and managing stress.
• Medications.  Prescription medications such as sildenafil (Viagra), tadalafil (Cialis), and vardenafil (Levitra) can help improve ED symptoms by increasing blood flow to the penis. These medications require a prescription from a doctor and should only be taken under their supervision.
• Vacuum devices.  Vacuum devices are non-invasive and can help improve blood flow to the penis. They work by creating a vacuum that draws blood into the penis, causing an erection.
• Penile injections. Medications can be injected directly into the penis to stimulate an erection. These injections should only be administered by a healthcare professional.
• Surgery. In some cases, surgery may be necessary to treat ED. Examples include penile implants or vascular surgery to improve blood flow to the penis.

Don’t be afraid to talk to your healthcare provider.

It’s important to remember that sexual problems are often treatable and that seeking help is a sign of strength.

Missed last month’s titillating titbit because you were too busy over the festive season? Well, you can read Ask Oz December 2022 right here!