VIP Interview With Hypnotherapist Dr Janet Hall About Painful Sex

Hypnotherapist Dr Janet Hall

Getting professional help is one important step you can take to improve your sexuality lifestyle and relationships.  With guidance from a sex expert, you will be able to develop a better understanding on how psychology impacts sexual performance in the bedroom.

Aside from gaining information, there are various techniques which work that include motivation and hypnotherapy. With the advancements of technology, these techniques can be used in the comfort of your home.

Hypnotherapy is commonly used to encourage and empower people to make constructive changes, in a step to develop new styles of behaviour in attempt to change how thoughts have been networked together. It is often used for people who have phobias, ingrained negative thinking patterns, illogical worries, stress related problems and overwhelming feelings which may bring on feelings of pain.

Within people’s sexual lifestyles these topics may include problems with erection problems, achieving astounding orgasms, become sexually empowered, manage painful sex and the prevention of premature ejaculation.

Dr Janet Hall specialises in hypnotherapy which helps people who experience the symptoms of painful sex.

Website Banner For Dr Janet Hall
Website: Dr Janet Hall Banner Clinical Psychologist & Hypnotherapist

Health conditions where people experience pain during sex include:

  • Vaginismus: Vaginismus is the uncontrollable spasms of the vaginal muscles which can cause intense levels of pain for varying lengths of time and which can stop penetration during intercourse. The male partner often says :It feels like my penis is hitting a brick wall”.
  • Vulvodynia: Vulvodynia is a chronic illness where a women experiences pain in her external organs including the clitoris, labia and vaginal opening. Medical professionals are often able to explain what causes it. It may be nerve damage under the skin as often it all looks healthy. However it is super sensitive and the best test of it is to hold a cotton bud to the skin. If this causes pain – it’s vulvadynia!
  • Dyspareunia: Dyspareunia is painful sex which is caused by medical and psychological reasons. Some people who have Dyspareunia experience the pain on the genitlia and some may experience the pain deeper in the pelvic area.
  • Menopause: Menopause is a natural stage in a women’s life where her estrogen levels lowers to the point where menstruation stops completely. It is often experienced by women aged between 40 to 61 but can also happen to women in their 20s and 30s. During Menopause the vaginal tissue may thin out which can women more prone to experience irritation and pain during penetrative sex.

In hypnotherapy, the hypnotist will induce an altered state of deep relaxation (it is not a state of deep sleep) through talking to the person with a soothing voice. During this time the person’s breathing and pulse rate slows down.

They may still be mindful of what is happening around them and are in complete control of their body, so they will not do anything they don’t want to do.

Whilst they are in this state the trained professional provides suggestions which are tailored to their needs. The method uses psychological and communication techniques so it works on a deep subconscious level. It will only work if the hypnotised person has consented to accept them. You cannot be placed into hypnosis against your will which is why it is often called self-hypnosis. Hypnosis is most likely to work on you have a decent imagination, enjoy reading a book or watching movies and you have sturdy attention levels.

We have spoken to Dr Janet Hall, a Clinical Psychologist and Hypnotherapist about how her work impacts people’s sexual lifestyles especially people who experience painful sex.

Tell me about yourself

Dr. Janet Hall: My work in private practice, writing, media, work-shops and public speaking is always aimed at helping people to learn user-friendly ways of understanding how to change behaviour to achieve happy, resilient lives as individuals, partners and families.

I became interested in the challenge of working with adults and teens about sexual behaviour and healthy partnering and have recorded seventeen audios and written two paperback books and fifteen ebooks on sexuality (Sex-Wise Teens and Sex-Life Solutions). These all sell online at amazon and audible as well as my own online shop at www.drjanethall.com.

In my book – Sex-life Solutions (Finch Publishing, 2004) – I explain that sexual difficulties in couple relationships are common, however they can be readily overcome.

Often, the difficult part for couples is talking about them together. This needs to happen, as all too often these problems can lead to the breakdown of the relationship or limit a person’s ability to have intimate relations at all.

Sex-Life Solutions discusses ways to overcome common anxieties, problems with performance or rejection, and patterns from the past that can be a block to a happier relationship.  The book addresses the differences between men and women in terms of how they behave, think and feel about such personal issues.

Easy Ways To Solve Everyday Sexual Problems
Book: Sex Life Solutions

The book is a practical guide that offers step-by-step directions for talking together and solving sexual difficulties. With the help of case studies it examines:

  • How to deal with the difficulties created by different perceptions and anxieties – which include misunderstandings about sex and negative judgements of masturbation.
  • How women can deal with specific anxieties about sex, problems with orgasms, and the fear of painful sex.
  • How men can deal with their specific anxieties about sex, erection and ejaculation difficulties.
  • How to overcome mismatched libido (desire discrepancy), the problems couples experience due to limiting beliefs about sex, and difficulties caused by our busy or stressful lifestyles.

I aim to give people confidence to confront problems in this intimate area, deal with any anxieties and learn how to feel safe with their sexuality.

What is your inspiration for becoming a clinical psychology and hypnotherapist?

Psychology fascinates me because it facilitates discovery of ways to understand learning, behaviour and how to help people prevent, manage and solve problems with their lives.

I love to use hypnosis as an adjunctive tool where it greatly assists time-valued outcomes.  You can program for success without having to get out into the real world and make mistakes! Sometimes hypnosis is like a magic wand!

What did you study?

I have a Masters Degree in Psychology and a PhD.

What are your favourite quotes that inspire you?

“What will you do with this one and only precious life?” Mary Oliver

“Every day’s a new day – a chance to wipe the slate clean and start again.”

“Positive thinking may not work every time, but negative thinking does.”

My favorite quote is my signature on my emails:

“You’ve got to sing as if you don’t need the money

You’ve got to love as if you’ll never get hurt

You’ve got to dance as if there’s nobody watching

It’s got to come from the heart if you want it to work!”

I like quotes which help me move forward with excitement for positive living.

Is Hypnotherapy what you see in the movies? For example, the hypnotist waving a pocket watch in front of the patients face saying “You are getting very sleepy”.

That is stage hypnosis where there is smoke and mirrors and not at all like medical hypnosis which is what qualified professionals use.

Explain what is in your hypnotherapy?

Dr Jan’s Hypnosis Benefits

  1. Dr Jan’s sex-therapy tips help “prime” and endorse the conscious mind with healthy sex facts.
  2. Hypnosis then helps the unconscious mind heal any past inaccurate or painful programming and then reprogram for a successful sex-life.
  3. The body is then free to be relaxed and ready for arousal and experience sensational sex.

Too often we have been conditioned to view our sexual bodies as less than perfect. Because of this we have to use corrective imagery and sensory awakening to restore proper feeling and functions. Hypnosis trains you to change your inner view and explore your real feeling. Negative memories, no matter how distant in the past, have a tendency to be the cause of reduced pleasurable sensations because of the extreme vulnerability of sexuality to negative thinking.

What does hypnotherapy feel like to the patient?

It feels like a state of relaxation where the body is so comfortable the mind can begin to imagine just about anything the hypnotist suggests.

What types of suggestions will you make to help women who experience painful sex?

Sex should be a pleasurable experience which you anticipate with delight.

Hypnosis can help you to focus on the pleasure and relax to enjoy the intimate connection with your partner that you deserve.

Hypnosis can help reduce painful sex by distracting you from fear.

Patients with anxiety disorders frequently become absorbed in the fear state. Their anxiety responses generate further thoughts concerning the danger posed by the symptoms and their inability to cope.

Hypnosis can provide an adaptive and useful method of reducing this reactivity to the anxiety-producing situation and to the symptoms that may follow.

In my audio recording called  How to have Pain Free Sex through Hypnosis there is a beautiful scene where I take you into a forest where you come to a lovely leafy glade and bathe beneath a waterfall to take away all your upset about discomfort in sex.

You wait for your lover to come and then you enjoy pleasurable love-making with satisfaction.

How many sessions of hypnotherapy do you need for it to begin working? Do you need to do maintenance sessions?

The number of sessions varies and the hypnotherapist can never really predict how many someone will need. However hypnosis can often make positive changes in 2 or 3 sessions if the person is motivated.

The hypnotherapist will often make a recording for the person so they can continue to listen to the positive suggestions on a daily basis –just before going to sleep can be a great time to listen.

Personal motivation can be a strong impacting factor on people’s sexual lifestyles.

What types of thoughts would you recommend people tell themselves?

I am a good person. I do the best I can in all situations. I deserve to enjoy life and experience the sexual pleasure which is my birthright.

I am good enough. I don’t have to compare myself with others because always there will be someone who is better and someone who is worse than me.

Does telling ourselves positive thoughts on a daily basis change our thinking pattern?

Positive thinking is wonderful to lift our spirits and help us

“turn lemons into lemonade”.

We may need to write positive thoughts down and memorize them and say them over and over for them to really change our thinking. That’s why a hypnotherapist’s recording can be so useful.

Adultsmart also recommends that, you buy high quality adult lifestyle products like personal lubricant from a sex toy shop.Save

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

VIP Interview With Mr. Hankey Toys

Mr. Hankey Toys is an adult lifestyle company who design phallic dildos that are available in all shapes and sizes. Their product’s are made with the finest selection of 100% platinum silicone which is phthalate free, odourless and completely body safe, they are literary made to last you a life time. Mr. Hankey Toys products are designed to be compatible with the Vac-U-Lock system so that can be used with harnesses, suction cups, handles, hand grips and so much more. This is a VIP Interview With Mr. Hankey himself who is a partner of the company.

Tell me about yourself

I go by the name Mr. Hankey and am a partner in the Company, I am 40 years old.  I choose to remain anonymous because I am involved with other types of businesses and services in the community that would not be very accepting of my current position at Mr. Hankey’s Toys.  I appear pretty normal from the outside but have a pretty twisted mind, talking to me you would never guess though.  At work I am all business and in “work mode”, outside of work I am rarely ever very serious about anything.

What inspired you to begin your business Mr Hankey Toys?

There are really not very many manufacturer’s that produce large, platinum silicone toys.  I was disappointed in the (lack of) customer service with some, wait times with others and (lack of) new ideas and creativity with the rest.  I never really meant for this to grow as quickly as it has, I started off with one toy, the “Mr. Hankey” and sold it.  People bought it and liked it so I made more and more.  I have always had other means to support myself financially so doing this on the side was just a hobby.  It took a long time and a lot of money before it turned a profit.  You have to buy silicone in 55 gallon drum kits (110 gallons) to be able to turn a profit, we purchase about 3-4 drum kits at a time now and convert them into pails that are loaded into our machine.  I remember when I released the Mr. Hankey, I used to purchase 1 gallon kits.  I was happy if I sold 1 a week.  Now we can barely keep up.

Mr. Hankey By Mr. Hankey Toys
Sex Toy: Mr. Hankey

What character traits do you feel you needed to create your own company?

I am extremely disciplined and understand the importance of long term outlook and strategy.  I also understand that I sell to a niche market and not one that might do particularly well in your typical run-of-the-mill adult store so I am very picky about the retailers we sell to and we reject almost all retail sellers that approach us except for a select few.  I am very honest and run a very tight, clean and efficient business.  We understand that customers want a high quality product at a low price so that’s what I offer.  Silicone is never cheap but if you compare our price (by weight) we are lower than everyone else out there.  Our customer service is flawless; all emails go directly to me and I answer each and every one, sometimes instantly but usually no later than within a couple hours.  Our shipping time is nearly next day, we manufacture and ship as quickly as possible.  If a customer has a special request, we always try to accommodate.  We treat each customer like they were the only customer we have and will ever have.

What are your favourite quote/s that inspire you?

I can’t think of any quotes off the top of my head.  I don’t hang pictures in my shop that say “Success” or “Goals” or anything cheesy like that.  What inspires me is treating it like a game and trying to grow it and make it something that I can retire doing, I really love what I do and find the whole process of building the Company to be extremely satisfying and fun.  I have a GED so you have to realize that getting this far has far exceeded my own personal expectations (and the expectations of others as well), I guess I have been pretty good at self-educating myself between high school and now.  I have a son that is probably  my greatest reason to succeed with the Company.  No matter what, I have decided that the money will be there if he chooses to go to college, that was not something that was available for me at any point.  He will have a much different upbringing than I had and I hope he does not take that for granted.

How long does it take to design a Mr Hankey Toy?

It used to take about a week to design and release a toy, now it takes about 6-8 weeks typically.  Most of the process is proprietary, that’s why our toys look different and have so much detail and unique properties.  I can say that I send a basic idea with dimensions to our designer in San Francisco and they take if from their, it comes back for final approval and there may be some changes made then it starts to go into production mode.  Once it’s ready it goes to the photographer then we list it on the site. It has become an extremely costly process to develop a toy from start to finish but with the added costs also comes constantly better toys so I believe the added cost has been well worth it.  I do have to give much credit to our designer, he never compromises on quality and is excellent at what he does, we are very lucky to have him working with us.

All your toys are made with 100% platinum silicone, though not all platinum silicone is the same. What types of platinum silicone do you use and what are their benefits?

What people should actually understand is that there are no toys that are made of medical grade platinum silicone.  If a company says they are using medical grade silicone they are probably not.  You cannot take one of our toys and have a surgeon implant it in your chest.  Most plat silicone is not ISO rated skin safe either although I will say that other formulations of silicone may very well be skin safe, they have just not undergone the rigorous testing needed to earn that certification.  All in all, if you buy a platinum silicone product, I would not be too concerned about it’s safety, even if it’s a lower quality platinum silicone.  The toys you want to avoid are the mass produced, stinky stuff that’s sold at most adult stores.  That stuff is nasty.  We use a USA produced ISO 10993-10 certified skin safe silicone although I would not say that it is generally any safer than any of our competitors that don’t use an ISO rated skin safe USA manufactured platinum silicone.  Platinum silicone is generally safe whether it comes with certification or not.  Let me add a note that I do not and would not trust that any product that is labelled platinum silicone that originates from outside the US, especially China, is actually platinum silicone, the ability to confirm and QC any raw material that comes from outside the US is almost impossible.  In general, you also don’t want to buy tin-cure silicone.  If the toy is simply labelled “silicone” then you really don’t know what it is and it is probably not platinum silicone.  If you are looking for a silicone toy, you want to buy “Platinum-cure Silicone or Platinum Silicone” both are the same thing and it’s the absolute best material you can choose when buying a sex toy.

Your toys can be used with a removable testicle attachment named the “Mr Hankey’s Remove-O-Balls” so people can experience the natural feeling of testicles slapping or smacking your body during penetrative play. Do you find that people enjoy the feeling and sound of natural sex which adds to the experience?

The Remove O Balls are great on any sex machine or when used in a motion that will get them swinging and smacking.  It’s pretty hard to find toys that have balls that will actually move and smack.  Yes, to answer the question, when used in a particular way I do believe that the ROB’s add to the experience.

REMOVE-O-BALLS By Mr. Hankey Toys
Buy Now | Sex Toy Shop That Stocks Dildos

All your toys can be used with sex machine and strap-ons due to their compatibility with the Vac-U-Lock system. This adds incredibly functionality, does a customer needs to purchase it at check out in order for it to work or are they able to use the toy and then buy one later?

The vac-u-lock option is just a hole.  You add your own attachment.  I always suggest buying the toy with the hole just in case you do ever want to use it with any type of attachment such as a sex machine or strap-on.  The holes cannot be added later, they are cast into the toy.  If you try to drill or cut a hole into the back of the toy it will most likely cause your toy to split over time.

What other features would you recommend that you can add to a Mr Hankey Toy? (For example, suctions cups, handles, cock rings etc)

There have not been too many new additions to vac-u-lock attachments that I have seen.  There is a suction cup that is readily available online along with a handle I have seen.  People need to get creative sometimes and invent their own stuff, like a handle.  The mass marketed stuff out there is just not that great and very unimaginative.  Really, for the people using my toys, I would recommend a machine (Orgasm Alley) or/and a strap-on (Unisex – Corey Jay harness by Mr. S).  Well worth the money and will spice up your sex life quite a bit.

Can Mr Hankey Toys be used for temperature play? Can I place it in cold water with ice cubes or in some warm water?

Sure, you can toss them in a freezer or put them in a microwave.  Silicone will retain heat for quite a while.  2 minutes in the microwave and see how you like it.  Add more time if you want it hotter.  Silicone won’t melt like rubber or plastic, you can heat up hotter than you can ever want or should (don’t blame me if you get burnt).

What types of people would you recommend use the Medium Firm and the 75% Soft Level Firm?

There’s not a huge difference between the two but enough that I would consider the 75% (the softer formula) to be preferred by those that like their toys on the softer side or are trying to get a toy to fit a little easier, the softer formula will squish and bend and form to your body a bit easier.  The Med-Firm (firm formula) is for those that like their toys on the firmer side and may be a bit more experienced or want to “feel” bumps and texture a bit more.  Most people buy the 75% formula and that’s what I would recommend unless you know that you like your toys on the firm side.

What are your best sellers?

The Hogg has always done well, that one has a very unique shape that people like.  We are currently resizing the Hogg and will be offering it in a total of 5 sizes, it’s currently only offered in 1 size.  They all sell relatively well, some better than others but overall they all still do well, even our first toy, Mr. Hankey. The shape and size are going to be what makes a person really like their toy or not, people need to think about what they like when they are buying a toy.  Do they want it to get wider at the base?  A small head, a giant head?  Lots of texture or smooth?  Fat or skinny?  Long or short?  Those are the questions people need to ask when they are shopping, we have something for almost everyone and offer a lot of different shapes.

 

Boss Hogg By Mr. Hankey Toys
Sex Toy: Boss Hogg

If you would like to learn more information read our guide on silicone and sex toy materials.Save

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

Dangerous Lilly Unplugged – True Story of A Sex Toy Reviewer!

Sex Toy Reviewer Interview

Dangerous Lilly has an extremely successful blog site that has a loyal following since 2008.  She is a sex toy critic that delivers candid, true, unabridged and uncensored sex toy reviews from her individual point of view.  Lilly has managed to gather an almost cult following with her reviews and the no holds barred approach she delivers.

Lilly Blog Dangerous
Dangerous Lilly Blogger

VIP Interview With Dangerous Lilly

Hi Lilly, thanks to much for agreeing to and taking the time to participate in this interview.  We have been a fan of your work for quite some time.  Can I start with the obvious question?  How did the Dangerous Lilly concept begin?

I started a sex blog in 2008 because I wanted to be able to review sex toys but at that time review-only blogs weren’t a thing – all the sex blogs were “sexy” blogs. I happened to be at a different place in my relationship and sexuality so finding sexy things to write about from my real life wasn’t difficult and it brought me the readers that the retailers and brands wanted to see for sex toy reviews. The reason for my change in blog content and focus is a long story but the shift has been drastic from the content my early readers saw.  My reviews and guides grew to matter much more to me than any other aspect of my blog and based on reader emails were life-changing to many people. It was a natural progression to expanding my sex toy focus to include that level of education and activism.

Almost a decade now running a highly successful blog.  How do you do it?

It’s a mixture of luck, hustle, and sometimes obligation to keep me going through the down times where I’m burnt out by repetition, drama, or life getting in the way.

Is this your full-time job?  Can you make good money by blogging?

This is not my full-time job. There were a few years in the middle where it was my only job but I’m back to working full-time because my partner and I now own a house and need as much income as possible. Plus the income from blogging feels too tenuous – my commissions vary and I just don’t feel comfortable putting all my eggs in that basket. I think that you can end up making decent money as a blogger but it means your blog has to be unique, you have to be a great writer and have a head for business. The few bloggers I know who earn a decent amount put a lot of time and effort into it, all aspects – selling banner ads, sponsored posts, working the affiliate angle, building social media followings, and writing articles for other websites. This isn’t a cushy, easy job and I don’t think it’s something that someone should go into expecting to earn them enough money to live off of. You have to do it for love not money.

How would you best describe how you review sex toys?

I don’t have a system per se. Obviously I use the items multiple times and often I pull out other, similar items to be able to compare similar sex toys. I do a lot of research. And then I write what I would want to know as a customer – I focus on

“does it do it’s job well” and “is it worth the cost”

, primarily, but I also pay attention to the manufacturer’s marketing claims. I usually try to figure out why I like it, why it works for me, so that I can better inform people who don’t have my particular set of needs. Obviously a good review needs to be both subjective and objective but I no longer strive to find “the good” in a mediocre sex toy – especially when the price is high.

You are known for your candid honesty with your reviews and guides.  Has there ever been a time when you have held back?

In my first two years of reviewing I was harsh on the less-expensive sex toys and more tempered on the expensive “luxury” sex toys because, at the time, I thought the problem was me – not the sex toy. The real problem was that no one was really making rechargeable, silicone vibrators with rumbling, powerful motors in 2008 – and that’s what I need in a vibrator.  It took me time to figure out what my body needed and it took the market time to start creating more vibrators like that.

Has your approach scared off companies providing you toys for review?

I’m sure some brands feel that way, but they haven’t told me. I am lucky enough to have partnered with a few retailers over time, currently SheVibe, who are very supportive of honest (even brutal) sex toy reviews.

What is the best (and worst) product that you have reviewed and why?

I’ve always had a hard time picking “favorites” and “bests” in my life because it’s more complicated than that, and this extends to sex toys. The sex toys that have worked the best for me are not perfect products – they have their flaws which, for some, are deal-breaker flaws. Plus when something comes along later it changes my past views – “Oh wow I can’t believe I thought THAT was as good as it gets, no this is WAY better!” sort of thing.

And with the worst?

Well, I can’t pick just one. Me and Epiphora are the SheVibe “cover art” for September and in our interview for them we talked about our saltiest reviews and it was hard for me to even narrow it down to the 6 products and 1 brand I chose. Again there’s so many factors to making something terrible (the value, the quality of construction, does it live up to the marketing promises, does it cause bodily harm) that I simply can’t pick one!

You are well-known for your brutal honesty when doing reviews.  Have you ever been offered incentives by companies to write a positive review on products that were poor?

No because that goes against FTC guidelines and would be illegal. Plus if they spent enough time on my site they would know that any offer like that would be made public by me, as I’m not afraid to call out companies for lesser things.

Your blog has been in Kinkly’s top 10 sexy blogger superhero list in 2013, 14 & 15.  How does that make you feel to be recognized for the work that you do?

This is a loaded question for me because when I was chosen as Kinkly’s #1 sex blog for 2016 I had mixed feelings and just didn’t feel like I deserved #1. My ranking on their list has changed drastically up and down over the years because after their first list, popularity on social media and a person’s ability to get votes became a factor and sometimes it seemed like it was more of a factor than actual content. I personally don’t think my content has changed much over the years but my ranking with them has.  But when a list like the one Molly now runs puts me as #2, that means something. That feels like recognition to me. Molly has made her judging process extremely clear and I know she is looking at many aspects of a blog.

Adult Blogger Rankings
Mollys Daily Kiss

I don’t support Kinkly anymore and won’t be a part of their lists in the future, and have asked to be removed from their directory due to their unflagging support of Lelo’s Hex condom despite blogger pleas. Lelo isn’t a company that many of us support, for many reasons. I don’t want to negate any good feelings that others on the Kinkly list would have but I also can’t ignore my feelings and opinions on it all from their decisions on the companies they support to the way they run their ranking list.

People for the most part like competition – I do, too! But when I witness the hurt of excellent bloggers who didn’t rank high, the list makes less sense to me. I have been trying to create a directory site that starts with the Kinkly list of blogs and digs a lot deeper – there’s no ranking, it’s not about competition it’s about content and helping readers find blogs that focus on the topics they care about. It’s a tough project, though, with programming needs beyond my capabilities and requiring time commitments I simply can’t make right now, despite my desires. I also envisioned a new kind of blogger awards, judging not an entire sex blog but particular posts that fit into light-hearted categories. But I’m one person and haven’t been able to make these huge projects into a reality on my own.

What do you feel is your greatest achievement through your blog?

I think it’s the posts I’ve written, extensively, about the problems with porous sex toys, or toxic sex toys and lubes, because people usually start off assuming good – they assume that if these sex toys and lubes are for sale then they must be safe! Why would a company be allowed to make products that go in our bodies if they’re not safe? That is their line of thinking and so they are shocked when they have to research why their vagina is burning, why their dildo has black spots or has changed shape, etc.  I’ve received so many heartfelt thank you letters over the years and those letters keep reminding me why I do what I do.

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Rick is the owner of the Adultsmart, an online sex toy shop that stocks over 13,000 products. He has been involved in the adult lifestyle industry for more than 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.

VIP Interview With Tom Stewart The Founder & CEO Of Sportsheets International

Tom Stewart CEO Of SportSheets

Sportsheets is an adult lifestyle brand which has been running for over 24 years. They made their mark in the adult industry when they invented the original Sportsheet Velcro Bondage Bedsheet which now has 3 different versions including the:

  • Sportsheet King Size
  • Sportsheet Anchor Pads
  • Sportsheet Queen Size

With a wealth of industry knowledge, they were able to expand and develop a large variety of products that are used to enhance sexual pleasure including restraints, sex toys, sexual positioning products, shower sex products, strap-ons and plus size wear.

They have won over 35 awards including the Tom Stewart named ‘Service To The Industry’ Award Winner at AdultEx April 2017, Julie Stewart named ‘Top 10 Most Important and Influential Women in Adult Retail Today’ StorErotica Feb 2017 and an Xbiz Award For 2017 BDSM Pleasure Company of the Year.

This is a VIP interview with Tom Stewart the founder and CEO of Sportsheets international.

Tell me about yourself?

I’m Tom Stewart, the founder and CEO of Sportsheets international.

My sister Julie is my business partner and President.

What are your favourite accomplishments of all time?

When I look back on everything we have done, I think that starting a business in the garage with just one product (the Sportsheet) and 24 years later employing 40 people with over 400 products among 7 brands to me, is an amazing story. That we survived those early years with no money and so few products, for me is hard to fathom. If it wasn’t our story, I think I would be a lot more impressed. The fact that we lived it and not only survived, but have excelled at it is a very satisfying accomplishment.

What are your favourite quote’s that inspire you?

My all-time favorite quote is

“too much of a good thing it’s never enough”.

I think my other more practical one is that

“everything you want is on the other side of fear”

Which I find true on a daily basis.

What is the story behind the inspiration, creation and development of your company?

The Velcro bondage bedsheet, the Sportsheet started off as a joke among my friends after watching David Letterman, a late night talk show host, who was famous for doing silly stunts.

One of his more memorable ones was when he dressed up in a Velcro suit, jumped onto a small trampoline and launched himself into the air and stuck onto a Velcro wall. My friends and I thought this was pretty impressive and of course the stunt generated many sexual references for us.  For example, “wouldn’t be great to stick your girlfriend to a Velcro wall and have sex with her, and you can peel her off change positions…”

This inside joke among my friends had a lot of life and soon the Velcro wall idea morphed from a wall to a table and then somebody mentioned

“what about bedsheets?”

Bondage Bed Sheet By Sportsheets International
Buy Now | Sportsheets Sex Toy Shop

That’s when the lightbulb in my head went off and I thought, there’s something to this. We started asking the girlfriends and wives in our social circle if they would find it interesting, being stuck to Velcro bedsheets. Sort of like bondage lite. Most all of them said that they would be willing to try this, to be tied up with Velcro as long as they could get out. This ability to get out was a recurring answer among practically all the women that we floated this idea by.

There was so much interest in this idea that I finally contacted the sales manager for Velcro USA and shared with him my idea. I told him that I wanted to make a bedsheet of Velcro and have the ability to stick my partner to it so they could not get out (much like David Letterman’s stunt) but be able to peel up the restraints and escape anytime they wanted to. He he started chuckling and said he never heard of such a great application for Velcro and that he would be happy to meet and show me some materials that he thought would be perfect for this idea.

So I met the man from Velcro and he showed me the two materials, the Hook and Loop component of what became the Sportsheet Velcro Bondage Bed Sheet. The bedsheet material (the Loop) feels like velvet and (the Hook) material is an industrial strength Velcro hook that sticks anywhere on the surface of the Sportsheet bedsheet.

I had a friend who is a seamstress and she agreed to sew our first bedsheet together. My brother Bob and I then set out to make the handcuffs and what we now call the Anchor Pad, which is the Velcro hook part that sticks to the Velcro bedsheet.

The handcuff idea came from the surf leashes that the surfers in Huntington Beach used to tether themselves to their surfboard. In the event they fall off, the surfboard doesn’t float to shore with the surfer still out in the water. The surf leashes were made from Neoprene rubber (like wetsuit material) which was comfortable, waterproof and attached with Velcro. There was a common theme here. We soon started making handcuffs (Sportscuffs) out of Neoprene, webbing and Velcro, and the beauty of this was that it was an easy on-easy off product which follows the theme of the Velcro bed sheet.

We needed something to attach the handcuff to that would stick to the Sportsheet. We tried many ideas from sewing Velcro hook onto many different things and it was Bob who came up with the brilliantly simple idea of a rectangle shaped Velcro (hook) pad. This pad had Velcro hook on one side and nylon on the other side with webbing and a clip. The Sportscuff also had a clip that would attach to the clip of the anchor pad, and the anchor pad could be placed anywhere on the surface of the bedsheet and stick.

Contents Of The Sportsheets Bondage Bed Sheet
Sex Toy: What’s Included In The Sportsheets Bondage Bed Sheet Package

The beautiful thing about Velcro is that when pulled against, Velcro is very difficult to release.  As everyone knows, to remove anything with Velcro you simply just peel it and it releases. So when a person is wearing the Sportscuff and that is connected to the anchor pad, the anchor pad is then placed anywhere on the surface of the sheet and really can’t be pulled off. However it can be very easily peeled up, providing the person who is “tied up” with the ability to get out anytime. This goes back to the original concept of many of our friends telling us that they would be willing to be tied up as long as they could get out.

We thought we had devised a pretty good system. By the time our seamstress finished sewing the first Sportsheet, we had a crude set of Sportscuffs and Anchor Pads. We invited some close friends over to try it out and selected our first volunteer. We attached the Sportcuffs around her wrist and ankles and then connected those to the Anchor Pads. As we spread eagled her out on the bed and stuck the Anchor Pads to the Velcro sheets, we all sit back and waited. I then asked her if she could pull against these restraints and get out.  She started straining with her legs and arms and turned red in the face with her efforts. She started laughing and said “oh my God I can’t get out!” Everyone standing around the bed just burst out laughing and saying “oh my God this is so funny but oh my God this thing really works”. When she had had enough she simply pealed up the anchor pads from her wrists and disconnected herself from the sheet. Immediately after that several of us several of us took turns trying to pull the Velcro Anchor Pad off the bedsheet and no one could. We could all peel the pads up and get out anytime we wanted to. The proof of concept worked and we are very excited about it. I reported back to the man from Velcro that we had developed a successful product and now we needed material to make more Sportsheets.

We started buying the bedsheet material from a mill on the East Coast and Velcro supplied us with the Velcro hook. We continue to tweak and improve the bedsheet design so that it couldn’t possibly pull be pulled off the mattress. With this improvement in place we set out to sell this product. This was 28 years ago and they were not the proliferation of adult stores there are today. We weren’t sure where to test sell this product until we met a man who was the head of a swinger’s organization and was hosting an upcoming Swingers convention with 300 couples. We had 20 sets of Sportsheets made for this event and took them to the convention. We sold every set and the business was born.

Why did you choose the material Velcro on the original Sportsheet Velcro Bondage Bedsheet?

The material that the man from Velcro originally showed us was this soft plush woven material that feels similar to velvet. When showed me that this would stick to a special Velcro hook I couldn’t believe it. This made for a luxurious feeling bedsheet. People were amazed that something so soft and velvety was Velcro compatible. We use the same materials in the Sportsheets today.

Where are Sportsheets products manufactured?

Most of our Sportsheets products are made in the USA in Huntington Beach. Many are made right in our facility. Our lower cost brand Sex & Mischief, which is designed for beginners, is made overseas.

What are the benefits of your manufacturing process?

The products that we make are undeniably of the highest quality of any comparable brand exists. We are so confident of the quality of our Sportsheets products that we offer a limited lifetime warranty on the entire line. Since we manufacture the products we can react to a surge or decline in sales very quickly. The other benefit is that we can directly control the quality of the product that we make.  This also allows us to make continuous improvements in our products.

How do you develop new products?

We have many creative people at Sportsheets that continually come up with new product ideas. We have a large R&D department that thrives on making new and unique products.

Many of the products ideas that we first come up with can be pretty crazy and “out there”. We take those ideas and refine them to where they become viable consumer items.

An idea becomes a prototype. As a manufacturing company we have all the tools and processes to make prototypes. Early in the prototyping process we’re able to show an item around the office to our sales and marketing people and get immediate feedback as to who is the consumer for this?  The entire prototyping process helps us separate the crazy ideas from the more viable ones.

How long does it take? What is the process like?

Sometimes a prototype will hang on our R&D wall for more than a year. We keep these products visible so that when people walk by and look, sometimes it strikes them that this could be perfect for a new brand. I will often sit with our graphic artist and design some ideas, work up different shapes and show this to our prototyping department.  They will take the drawing and come up with an actual usable sample. I find that the rapid pace of this process is my favorite. An idea can go from an idea to a printout, to the product developers in less than two days.

What does your company value the most?

Our employees are our biggest asset. When it comes to products which our employees produce, its quality and uniqueness. We are not a copycat company, we make high quality, original and creative products. This is by far the biggest reason that we remain in business for 25 years.

What are your favourite memories from working with Sportsheets?

Going way back, we went to many different trade shows, among which were swingers conventions, hard-core leather and BDSM conventions. None of us were swingers so when we entered into this domain we were quite unprepared for what we are about to experience. During every convention where we sold products we had a “hospitality suite” upstairs in our hotel rooms so people could come by with a little more privacy and try our products out. What we saw during these hospitality suites is still seared into my mind.

We learned a lot about sex and sexuality during these events. I was always interested in sex, (obviously, look what I’ve done for the last 25 years) but I wasn’t prepared for this rapid education we received in our first few years in business. Besides some crazy stories, a take away from hosting these events and participating at these conventions was a world of sexuality that I was did not know existed.  My “takeaway” was that everyone’s sexuality is very individualistic and everybody has a particular thing that they like. This helped me understand that in our customers there was not a “one product fits all” for everyone. Which is why over the years we’ve expanded our line from the Sportsheet to over seven brands and 400 different products. We have brands that go from beginner to intermediate to experienced and brands that fit somewhere in between.

Which products are your best sellers?

By far the best seller in our entire line among all our brands is The Under The Bed Restraint System. This is an adjustable four-point (wrist and ankle) restraint system that slides underneath the mattress.

Under the Bed Restraint System By Sportsheets International
Sex Toy: Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

Why?

This is probably the most user-friendly and basic product for anyone just starting out, or for people who are really into it. There’s no set up other than sliding the straps underneath the mattress, and it’s strong enough to hold almost anybody. It travels well and I think the biggest thing is that it can be hidden underneath the mattress simply by tucking the cuffs and straps underneath the mattress, no one knows it’s there.

What type of punishment device would you recommend to someone just getting into BDSM?

I understand the nature of this question but I have to state that I don’t see our BDSM products as punishment devices. I see them more as facilitating couples to connect with each other, exchanging power, or submitting to the request of their partner for restraint play. Not be hypocritical I will admit that we do make many paddles that are very popular and riding crops that if used harshly can absolutely bring pain to a person, if that is the intention of both people involved.

I really like to think of our crops and paddles as more sensation play products then punishment devices.

What products would you use to bring BDSM into the bedroom?

I would suggest that for someone just getting into restraint play and exploring what this is, and what it means, that the Sportsheets of course is still the best BDSM sex toy on the market. Since it’s quite expensive I think this points to why the lower cost Under The Bed Restraint System is so popular. I would recommend this for anybody experimenting with BDSM. It’s an easy on easy off soft cuff system that a couple can use without concerns of somebody being tied up for too long or someone getting hurt by the cuffs.

Under the Bed Restraint System Made With Velcro By Sportsheets
Sex Toy: Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

Along with the under the bed restraint system for a couple starting out I would recommend a blindfold and a feather tickler. When you allow yourself to be tied up, especially for the first time and you have your eyes covered with a blindfold any sensation is heightened. A feather tickler on the bare skin, when you’re blindfolded, can feel absolutely exquisite as can fingernails dragged across your skin. An ice cube becomes a hot or cold point of sensation and can absolutely make the mind expand into blissful delight.

Midnight Feather Tickler Sex Toy of the Month
Sex Toy: Sportsheets Midnight Feather Tickler

For example, floggers, whips, paddles and crops. Why?

We make some of the best ones on the planet. When couples get into using these products it’s a step up in their understanding and their connection with BDSM. Everyone in their young life has probably been spanked. When we do this as consenting adults it takes on quite a different sensation and significance. The sensation of a paddle on your backside, if done correctly, done slowly can be absolutely thrilling. If you approach your partner correctly with one of these products the pleasurable sensations that you can produce are quite extraordinary. If someone doesn’t have much experience with the paddle for instance and their partner says “sure I’ll let you spank me” and the partner hauls off and whacks them as hard as they can, doesn’t make for a very pleasant experience and will most likely be the last time the person will trust their partner to ever do something like that again. For people that can gently explore their limits in a constructive way are the ones who are going to evolve into the more frequent and satisfied users.

12 Inch Leather Heart Impression Paddle By Sportsheets International
Sex Toy: Sportsheets 12 Inch Leather Heart Impression Paddle

When I do customer trainings I like to introduce the “why would anybody want to get hit with a paddle”?  I ask the audience to clap their hands three times really hard, like they’re applauding for their favorite song at a concert, and at the end of this clapping pause and feel the sensation in their hands.  I ask them “what is it you feel”? Everybody says “it tingles”. I then ask them if it doesn’t hurt and they say “no, it tingles”.  That’s the sensation we are going after! When we spank, paddle or flog our partner we want it to tingle. We want to wake up the skins nerves and stimulate them. When I have this conversation with an audience they have a new understanding that there’s a different result they could achieve by using a paddle across their partner’s backside. Something as simple as that explanation , that if used properly, makes a paddle or crop go from a punishment device to something that can deliver pure pleasure.

Are there any products that you are surprised to find that are commonly bought?

Ball gags. I’m always surprised at the volume of ball gags that people purchase. It’s certainly part and parcel to the BDSM genre of products. I understand it, and I’ve come to realize the ball gag is similar to a blindfold for the mouth. When people are using one together, communication changes. When one person can’t speak, other methods of communication have to take place or simply no communication at all. I think it’s one of the more interesting aspects of people’s sexuality play.

Edge Silicone Ball Gag by Sportsheets International
Sex Toy: Sportsheets Edge Silicone Ball Gag

Is there anything else you would like to add?

It’s been satisfying to see the consumer market grow in this category of sex toys grow over the last 2 1/2 decades. When we started there was only leather or metal handcuffs or rope. We have brought more user-friendly BDSM products to consumers and the market has reacted favorably.

Ask anyone in the industry and they’ll tell you that BDSM has gone mainstream which I truly believe it has, to a point, but I don’t think you’ll be seeing a hogtie set in a department store anytime soon.

That being said, as more and more people become comfortable trying these products, the category, along with the consumer market will continue to increase.

Be sure to also check out a BDSM Guide for Bondage Safety.Save

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

VIP Interview With August McLaughlin The Founder Of Girl Boner

Picture Of August McLaughlin

Girl Boner® is the brand that was founded by August McLaughlin, which includes a website, podcast and forthcoming book. Her Girl Boner blog series began in 2011 and entails a wide range of articles that are created to positively inspire women’s sexualities. It is “Where good girls go for sexual empowerment”! This blog has been ranked within the top 10 of Kinkly’s 100 Sex Blog Superheros list.

Banner And Catch Phrase Of Girl Boner
Website: Girl Boner, Where Good Girls Go For Sexual Empowerment

Girl Boner Radio was established in 2014 and made it to the starring role of iTunes’ New and Noteworthy list for 7 whole weeks! To this day, it is still within the high ranks of iTunes’ What’s Hot list in the sexuality category. August is recognised throughout the media and she and her work have been featured by Sexual Health Expos, World Sexual Health Day, Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post and Dame Magazine. Most notably she had attended the United States of Women Summit by the White House and was a speaker of a TEDx conference about surviving an eating disorder.

August McLaughlin is also the author of a novel named In Her Shadow, a thrilling story about a woman who meets a series of unfortunate events including the tragic passing of her parents. As she is coping with her eating disorder she comes across the secrets of her families past.

Book Titled In Her Shadow By August McLaughlin
Image: In Her Shadow By August McLaughlin

This is a VIP Interview with August McLaughlin the founder of Girl Boner.

Tell me about yourself. What would you like people to know about you?

What people perceive about me online, in public and on my show tends to be pretty accurate of me in “real life,” too — or so I’m told! I really value authenticity.

What is it like being able to run a podcast, blog and write books? What do you enjoy about each aspect of your work?

I love having multiple platforms to freely explore sexual empowerment related topics, and to connect with lots of different people. I enjoy writing more than most anything, but thrive on interaction as well. And the variety keeps things fresh and fun for me. The chance to shed light on needed and often taboo topics is probably my favorite part across the board.

What inspired you to talk about sex?

You can learn all about that here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5mZu3-UMSY

Embracing my sexuality also helped me heal from an eating disorder and more. I share a lot more about that in my Girl Boner book, which will be released by Amberjack Publishing in 2018.

What stories have you heard that have moved and inspired you?

Far too many to name! Stories are such a powerful way to learn and teach. I share many — my own and those of others — on my show and in my forthcoming book. One of the most powerful stories I’ve heard recently came from Girl Boner Radio guest, Tika Thornton, who survived sex trafficking in Los Angeles. She’s one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever met, and that episode is one of my favorites.

What problems do you find people face with sexuality?

Shame is probably the biggest, and underlies countless other challenges.

Do you feel that people can talk about sex more openly these days? How do you wish it would change?

I have seen a great deal of progress, but lots of work remains, too. I’d love for no individual to ever feel ashamed of their body or sexuality.

What would you say to someone who is struggling with their sexuality?

You’re not alone or (even remotely) broken, and there’s a ton of hope to be had.

What do you wish people would know about sex?

It’s wondrous and beautiful, but not everything.

What are your favourite sex tips of all time?

Explore your own body, prioritize pleasure, and when you’re with a partner, aim to be present.Save

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Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.